"It Gets Better!" - Worldwide Video Project Against Bullying

[PeterG]

Vince Vaughn Wants 'Gay' Joke To Stay In New Movie

In the original trailer for "The Dilemma" shows Vince's character is seen in the middle of a business presentation saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, electric cars are gay. I mean, not homosexual gay, but you know, my-parents-are-chaperoning-the-dance gay."

Some people just don't get it. I've considered re-enacting famous movie scenes where "gay" or "fag", etc. is replaced with words to describe people of colour, women or Jewish people, etc. so that people can see in a different way how that scene is objectionable.

Vince's bit is mild (relatively speaking), but hopefully this type of "humour" is making more and more people wince instead of chuckle.

[JumpinBug]

I had a student come to me over bullying on Friday. Mostly words, but there had been an incident with girls pushing her out of the way in a doorway, and then just nasty attitudes. She's come from a private school where if there was a problem, you talked it out, found a solution, and then everyone got along.

I'm not on staff at the school, but taught all 4 girls involved previously in the school that I worked in for that last few years. And thankfully, I work so much at this new school (and graduated from there), that I can talk to other teachers, etc. that the incidents won't vanish. I wrote up a report on what I witnessed, what was told to me, and then will work with it and others to have something happen.

I told the girl that I wouldn't let it go, so I owe it to both of us to ensure that the treatment isn't ignored.

And this was on a day that they're advertising another wear something special to show you're against bullying... I've had kids wearing pink on that day, shoving another kid or calling them a name. Yep, the pink shirts really work.

[PDilemma]

Vince Vaughn Wants 'Gay' Joke To Stay In New Movie





Some people just don't get it. I've considered re-enacting famous movie scenes where "gay" or "fag", etc. is replaced with words to describe people of colour, women or Jewish people, etc. so that people can see in a different way how that scene is objectionable.

Vince's bit is mild (relatively speaking), but hopefully this type of "humour" is making more and more people wince instead of chuckle.

At the school I was teaching at last year, the sophs and juniors decided that it wasn't cool to use the word "gay" in that way anymore and somehow decided to replace it with "Jewish". I read them the riot act in all of my classes. Results: a trip to the principal's office for me in which I was informed that I needed to stop "overreacting to slang" and "let the kids express themselves" and that "seeing their use of 'Jewish' as antisemitism was very negative" on my part, calling you "negative" being the football coach/principal's favorite way to tell you to STFU and give himself an excuse to not deal with something.

[Angelskates]

AVO served to internet bully by Facebook

Bullies are using technology to bully, police are using it to catch (and serve) them.

[Icetalavista]

I just watched the "Muslim gay teen" and "Rick from Vermont" videos. What courage. In Rick's case, he *actually shot himself*, watched as his father prayed "don't let my son die", lived, and went on to move toward his goals. Talk about relevant. The Muslim gay teen came out, and his father (who initially said he'd reject him if he were gay) became somewhat more accepting.

[The Accordion]

At the school I was teaching at last year, the sophs and juniors decided that it wasn't cool to use the word "gay" in that way anymore and somehow decided to replace it with "Jewish". I read them the riot act in all of my classes. Results: a trip to the principal's office for me in which I was informed that I needed to stop "overreacting to slang" and "let the kids express themselves" and that "seeing their use of 'Jewish' as antisemitism was very negative" on my part, calling you "negative" being the football coach/principal's favorite way to tell you to STFU and give himself an excuse to not deal with something.

[danceronice]

At the school I was teaching at last year, the sophs and juniors decided that it wasn't cool to use the word "gay" in that way anymore and somehow decided to replace it with "Jewish". I read them the riot act in all of my classes. Results: a trip to the principal's office for me in which I was informed that I needed to stop "overreacting to slang" and "let the kids express themselves" and that "seeing their use of 'Jewish' as antisemitism was very negative" on my part, calling you "negative" being the football coach/principal's favorite way to tell you to STFU and give himself an excuse to not deal with something.

O.o What school was that, Nazi Wannabe Academy? I don't know the principal's fixable (sounds like he drank the self-esteem Kool-Aid because god forbid we not let the little darlings "express themselves") but sounds like the kids need a trip to the Holocaust Museum.

That or I'd say fine, I'll start expressing myself by, every time my students use "Jewish" as a negative slur, reminding them they need to say "Heil Hitler" after that.

[PDilemma]

O.o What school was that, Nazi Wannabe Academy? I don't know the principal's fixable (sounds like he drank the self-esteem Kool-Aid because god forbid we not let the little darlings "express themselves") but sounds like the kids need a trip to the Holocaust Museum.

That or I'd say fine, I'll start expressing myself by, every time my students use "Jewish" as a negative slur, reminding them they need to say "Heil Hitler" after that.

I prefer to refer to that principal as "the football coach" or just "dumbass". I left teaching because of him and people like him and the stupidity they espouse. He became obsessed with a motivational speaker/life coach who sells her 8 step trademarked program for a perfect life to schools as curriculum and divided the whole world into "positive" and "negative". So no one can ever be "negative". Telling kids not to do something is "negative". Making kids write persuasive essays as required by the state curriculum standards is "a negative experience" for them. Asking for assistance in addressing a problem is "negative". In fact, acknowledging a problem exists is "accepting that problem as a reality" and if we ignore problems instead, we are "positive" and that will make the problems (apparently magically) go away. For example, smiling a lot and making positive statements about tardiness will make seniors having a problem with chronic tardiness in the fourth quarter get to school on time; suggesting that they get out of bed and get to school on time will make them late more often because it is "a shower of negativity".

I should stop now. But...the takeaway here is that this speaker/life coach has become quite wealthy selling this crap to schools and businesses.

ETA: At an assembly about this time last year, this principal explained to the entire student body that if they feel they are being bullied by others, they need to try to look at the situation with a more positive attitude. Because if they think positively about it, it will stop or they will understand that the person they think is bullying them is not trying to do anything wrong and will better understand the bully's feelings.

[Aceon6]

Great article in today's Boston Globe. Several well respected local celebs taking "it gets better" to a broader audience. Link.

[Rex]

Some people just don't get it. I've considered re-enacting famous movie scenes where "gay" or "fag", etc. is replaced with words to describe people of colour, women or Jewish people, etc. so that people can see in a different way how that scene is objectionable.

Vince's bit is mild (relatively speaking), but hopefully this type of "humour" is making more and more people wince instead of chuckle.

I've read on some celeb gossip blogs that Vince is very UN-PC and has gotten into scuffles for making remarks about gays and other minorities. He's always been a bit of an ass.

[numbers123]

I should stop now. But...the takeaway here is that this speaker/life coach has become quite wealthy selling this crap to schools and businesses.

However she can relate to the bullying issue as a survivor of domestic abuse. She may have changed her concepts/beliefs/tactics in the last few years, but in the beginning of the motivational speaking, she did sound sincere to me because of the DA issue.

In fact, I would think that her story of survival fits this campaign rather well. It gets better - at least it did for her.

No one deserves to be bullied. I have been somewhat uncomfortable with some of Ellen's trademark scenarios that she uses in the name of humor. Where she has someone sneak up on her guests to scare them - I startle quite easily and it takes me a few minutes to recover, this is not funny to me. When she sends someone in to do the "say what I say to the customer or person" segments where the person on the receiving end of the conversation becomes more and more uncomfortable or distraught is downright mean.

The it gets better campaign is a great one, but the reality is that for some people it does not get better. Resulting in self harming behaviors, suicide, death by others hands, etc. The only way it will get better is for all of us to make it better for all of us.

[PDilemma]

However she can relate to the bullying issue as a survivor of domestic abuse. She may have changed her concepts/beliefs/tactics in the last few years, but in the beginning of the motivational speaking, she did sound sincere to me because of the DA issue.

In fact, I would think that her story of survival fits this campaign rather well. It gets better - at least it did for her.

She lost me with the DA story when she got to the "there are no victims only volunteers" spiel. Sorry. But that doesn't help DA victims or bullying victims. It just tells them that it is their fault--which is a factor that keeps a lot of DA victims from getting themselves out of the situation. And it is the part that dumb*ss principal used to basically tell kids to just shut up about being bullied--that there are no victims just volunteers so they need to be more positive and look at it differently.

I've also heard from a few different sources that the woman is extremely unhappy in her day to day life. She puts on a show and is completely different when she's not "performing". In other words, her "system" is not even working for her. And that fits in with what I saw. She struck me as a manic-depressive having a manic episode for the six hours we had to have our "workshop" with her.

ETA: There is also a huge problem when a high school principal is notified by a teacher that a student wrote about hurting classmates and bombing the school and his response is to call this woman who tells him to have the student skip class and draw his ideal school and that will solve the problem. And that happened in February.

[numbers123]

I have to be honest I have not heard her presentations or read materials since early on in her career. The DA story about no victims only volunteers I think is HER coping mechanism to tell herself that she is indeed a valuable person. That she could "unvolunteer" herself and take control of her life.

I was in a small group setting with her approximately 15 years ago, so what she has done since then, I don't know. She seemed happy enough at that time (and I think in the small group setting over 10 weeks, you can't hid for that long)

I agree the principal is out of line. But did you actually hear her say that to the student or was it hearsay?

[PDilemma]

I have to be honest I have not heard her presentations or read materials since early on in her career. The DA story about no victims only volunteers I think is HER coping mechanism to tell herself that she is indeed a valuable person. That she could "unvolunteer" herself and take control of her life.

I was in a small group setting with her approximately 15 years ago, so what she has done since then, I don't know. She seemed happy enough at that time (and I think in the small group setting over 10 weeks, you can't hid for that long)

I agree the principal is out of line. But did you actually hear her say that to the student or was it hearsay?

The student turned in a writing assignment to my English dep't colleague that included a section about injuring classmates (named names) and bombing the school. My colleague was a second year teacher and already accustomed to the principal not dealing with stuff, brought it to me and asked me what she should do. I told her she had to take that to the principal regardless of what his response was. She did. He read it, told her he would think about it and get back to her. A day later, he told her that he had called MK, and she had told him to have the student skip English class and sit in the office and draw his ideal school. He took the kid out of her class that day to do it and had him give my colleague his picture when he was done. The kid had a history of mental problems and acting out at school.

The woman has a degree in English and education. No one should be calling her for advice concerning potentially violent students or any other troubled student. And, not being a school employee, involving her in a student problem is a breech of confidentiality as well.

[manleywoman]

President Obama has released one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzcAR6yQhF8

[genevieve]

Obama

I'm going to steal/paraphrase a comment I saw on another forum about his video - as a queer person, I am not thrilled with the state of LGBT politics right this minute, in particular this administration's unnecessary maneuvers to preseerve DADT. But Obama is by far the most pro-gay Pres this country has ever had, and this video is HUGE.

[Rex]

There was another suicide in Beverly Hills of all places. A young man, who was out to his family and even had a high school sweetheart, was beaten and thrown against a wall at school. He was so traumatized by this event, he left a note and hung himself. I can't access the site at work, but the young man's name was Terrel.

I don't think there has necessarily been an increase in suicides due to homophobia, but now it seems authorities are delving deeper into what were at one point, unexplained suicides. And the loved ones that they leave behind are being vocal about it too.

[PeterG]

One theme that seems to keep coming up in these videos is for youth to "just reach out more to people...try harder".

Do people who say these things actually think that youth are staying quiet throughout their ordeals? Youth either do reach out time and time again, or have been abused by people who are in positions of responsibility enough so that this no longer seems like an option in any way.

Focussing on the bullied youth has a hint of "blaming the victim" to me. Who's addressing the bullies? Who's addressing the families of bullies? They're the ones who need to change, to reach out. It shouldn't be the bullied person's responsibility to create change. Those doing harm are the ones who need to take action to stop their destructive (murderous?) behaviour.

[jtpc]

I think this is a wonderful article on the It Gets Better Project from today's Toronto Globe and Mail.

http://bit.ly/doT0kq

ETA: No sooner do you read something praising the project and its significance, then you come across an article on a school board member who doesn't want it to get better for LGBT youth. I'd say we've found the face of hate.

http://bit.ly/9oXYOU

[heckles]

Do people who say these things actually think that youth are staying quiet throughout their ordeals? Youth either do reach out time and time again, or have been abused by people who are in positions of responsibility enough so that this no longer seems like an option in any way.

I don't think it's bad advice to recommend that they continue to reach out until they find an adult who believes them. If the parents, teachers, and school administrators don't act, it might be time to take the complaint higher.