But I'm no psychologist. It's just my theory. Maybe it's even the defensive position I developed against the bullies who teased me. I've always had a bit of a superiority complex myself.
The truth is that bullying, abuse, harrassment, etc. exists beyond that stereotypical example. Children, just as adults, can be abusive in their actions towards their peers or even people outside of a peer group. I watched college students preparing to be teachers get annonymous notes from their class, called names, etc. I saw older children scream and threaten younger children, but also saw the younger children sometimes threaten the older ones.
I've seen it happen in families, neighborhoods, and even places of work. It is a sad situation to think that people treat each other so poorly.
But...some kids get bullied at home by one or both parents. Some kids get bullied at school by TEACHERS. (One teacher kept referring to me as female as my fellow students laughed and this happened so many times that I had to transfer out of that teacher's class to escape his bullying. Another teacher kept referring to his "all-girl" P.E. class when all of the students were female (except for me). There are probably a few other examples of teachers bullying me, but I don't want to think more about it!)
Anyway...my point is that you can't say the victim is responsible for not reporting their abuse to their teacher. Especially if they've been bullied at home and then by other teachers. One learns that adults are abusers and/or not to be trusted.
Teachers need to be aware of what's going on in their classrooms. My previous post detailed two examples of things that happened to me with teachers sitting 15 feet away from what happened. I hope I didn't interrupt their mid-class naptime...
Teachers rule! (Well, most of them!) It's horrible to hear that the education world lost somebody like you, though!!
It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.
60 minutes did an interview with rapper Eminem confessed to being bullied in school constantly while growing up. That suprised me but he survived, and I think more celebrities should speak up on this topic if they were bullied in school as children as well. I remember shock jock Howard Stern saying he was bullied in school growing up as well.
Seriously though, kids may think the teacher is aware of what is happening, especially if the teacher is physically in the area - but that teacher could be focusing on another student, the next step in the lesson plan, etc. Not saying that it as an excuse to let bullying continue, just that the teacher may not be aware of how serious the situation is.
I agree that some teachers are part of the bullying culture themselves. They either choose to ignore what they see, don't see it as bullying, etc. That's why it is so important to teach our children to speak up for themselves. If they can't do it in class, then they should have a safe place to go to tell. We have an anonymous hotline and dropbox at our school.
So Eminem got bullied and then grew up to bully other people, gays in particular, in his songs that are bought by millions of people, including many children and teenagers, worldwide. Fantastic. It's like Perez Hilton scribbling and defacing photos of people he hates and then posting them on his blog that gets 1 million+ hits a day. Of course, he then yells at certain celebrities for staying in the closet too. What a horrible cycle.
That makes sense considering that people bully for different reasons, and sometimes people who are bullied are also the same people who bully others.
It is, but it's still a choice and those people should be ashamed of themselves. Some people think it's their right to bully others because they themselves had to suffer. I remember one vicious bully that used to post on this board, who once admitted to being bullied in school and never doing anything about it then.What a horrible cycle.
Jack in the Box Commercial - New Pastrami Grilled Sandwich – Hazing the Intern.
I was shocked when I saw this commercial, and surprised it is allowed, although, “hazing” seems to be a legitimate practice on US university campuses in fraternities and sororities for many years, and "dedovschina" is quite common in the Russian Army.
“Animal House” supposed to be one of the funniest movies, although I could never understand why, since the movie has a lot of grotesque and outright vicious actions between students against each other.
…….. and I still don’t understand why “dedovschina”, “hazing”, “sadism and abuse”, “harassment”, “badgering” is called by such cute word as “bullying”, which to me means using power to push someone around for personal gain (to take better seat, to take away property, to make another run errands for free, etc).
Instead of "bullying" i would use “Malicious Tormenting” and make it a criminal offence.
At my university one of our fraternities lost its charter for a year over hazing. Especially embarassing as they're the alpha chapter.
Regarding 'adult bullies', I suspect in many cases they ARE the ones who were bullied, those who didn't turn it inwards. People tend to forget the converse of the golden rule where if you do unto others in a nasty way, eventually they're going to either break (the suicidal types) or they're going to turn on you (best-case scenario, bullies and tyrants themselves, worst-case, shooting rampages and package bombs.) If you keep poking that snake with a stick and it turns out to be a spitting cobra, not a corn snake, you've no one to blame but yourself when it attacks.
It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.
Members of the chorus I belong to (Gateway Men's Chorus), Charis, and Band Together came together to create an "It's Get Better" video this weekend while we were doing a joint benefit concert at a local church. It just got posted on You Tube last evening.
I meant to take the high road.... but I missed the exit.
My experience on the other hand was just trying to survive a day without being harassed, physically or sexually assualted. I remember sitting in the shower every morning praying to no God in particular that I could make it through just one day without being berated.
The class president of my middle son's high school class was gay. Everyone knew he was gay, they accepted him and loved him. He went to college and committed suicide the second semester - harrassment and abuse about being gay.
The number of people from all classes in his high school was amazing. It was a tragedy that the college students couldn't embrace him like his own high school students.
That sounds exactly the way it was for someone that I know. She is straight, but obese. She described being on edge every minute she was outside of her house waiting for the yells from strangers in cars, rude remarks and physical assaults from other kids etc. She hid in the bathroom all during her lunch periods because she was so abused during "free time" She never ate anything at school because she knew that she would be watched and mocked.
Because of my appearance, I've been verbally, physically, and sexually assaulted (walked past a boy who grabbed my butt, and when his friend said 'that's not cool', he responded with 'she's fat, she doesn't care!'). I've been told that "I would kill myself if I looked like you". Thanks to strong family support, I never did any harm to myself, but my self-esteem took a huge hit that I still struggle with.
I've never understood what compels someone to bully/harrass/make fun of another person. If you don't like them, leave them alone. It doesn't seem that complicated.
I actually found this video very powerful in its heartfelt honesty, especially for those individuals who can't necessarily indentify or relate to the videos coming from the Ivory Tower of Hollywood celebrity.
Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr5ix1UUnPI
The mind of the performer is a very strange thing.