Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 41 to 60 of 87
  1. #41
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,090
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post

    I think some older bullies (like the aforementioned 30-year-olds) do it because of their own low self-esteem. They feel threatened for some reason, and bullying is their way of lashing out.
    I think that's the catch-all theory, and not always the case. Believing that you have the right to harm another person can be a very arrogant position. Sometimes the problem is too much self-esteem.

  2. #42
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Rejecting your reality and substituting my own
    Age
    30
    Posts
    11,006
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    I think that's the catch-all theory, and not always the case. Believing that you have the right to harm another person can be a very arrogant position. Sometimes the problem is too much self-esteem.
    I think that someone with too much self-esteem would be more interested in what they themselves were doing, instead of other people. When you're interested in other people's affairs to the point that you're trying to sabotage them, that points to a low self-esteem to me, no matter how deeply seated that is.

    But I'm no psychologist. It's just my theory. Maybe it's even the defensive position I developed against the bullies who teased me. I've always had a bit of a superiority complex myself.

  3. #43
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    2,404
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by AragornElessar View Post
    Thank you for saying this. I went through Hell during my school years and what happened to me was not "bullying", not "teasing" and not "kids being kids". I was physically, emotionally and psychology(sp?) abused!!

    There are few things that makes me see red faster than hearing the term "bullying" used whenever there are discussions about what is going on in our world these days. I really do believe that once it starts getting called what it is, which is abuse, then and only then will things start to change.
    I agree that the term bullying doesn't seem to do the situation justice. Perhaps it is because children's literature and television shows were so light with the term bully. The bully was usually the larger child in the class who was dealing with some unresolved problem in those genres. He/she would terrorize the kids on the playground and occasionally trip the other kids in the lunchroom. Usually once the other children found out about the bully's home life or past, he or she was cured.

    The truth is that bullying, abuse, harrassment, etc. exists beyond that stereotypical example. Children, just as adults, can be abusive in their actions towards their peers or even people outside of a peer group. I watched college students preparing to be teachers get annonymous notes from their class, called names, etc. I saw older children scream and threaten younger children, but also saw the younger children sometimes threaten the older ones.

    I've seen it happen in families, neighborhoods, and even places of work. It is a sad situation to think that people treat each other so poorly.

  4. #44
    Argle-Bargle-ist
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Age
    50
    Posts
    8,565
    vCash
    875
    Rep Power
    77372
    Quote Originally Posted by Schmeck View Post
    3) The teacher needs to be told what is happening. To assume the teacher is omnipresent is a mistake victims make all the time. Bullies know this is not true, and use it to their advantage.
    Before I respond to this, I need to say that my Mom was a (great!) life-long teacher and my two best friends are both teachers. I volunteer one of my friend's grade 5/6 class and think teachers are doing one of the most important jobs in the world and deserve a lot more credit, pay, respect and support.

    But...some kids get bullied at home by one or both parents. Some kids get bullied at school by TEACHERS. (One teacher kept referring to me as female as my fellow students laughed and this happened so many times that I had to transfer out of that teacher's class to escape his bullying. Another teacher kept referring to his "all-girl" P.E. class when all of the students were female (except for me). There are probably a few other examples of teachers bullying me, but I don't want to think more about it!)

    Anyway...my point is that you can't say the victim is responsible for not reporting their abuse to their teacher. Especially if they've been bullied at home and then by other teachers. One learns that adults are abusers and/or not to be trusted.

    Teachers need to be aware of what's going on in their classrooms. My previous post detailed two examples of things that happened to me with teachers sitting 15 feet away from what happened. I hope I didn't interrupt their mid-class naptime...

    Quote Originally Posted by PDilemma View Post
    entire post


    Teachers rule! (Well, most of them!) It's horrible to hear that the education world lost somebody like you, though!!
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  5. #45
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Age
    43
    Posts
    16,667
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    60 minutes did an interview with rapper Eminem confessed to being bullied in school constantly while growing up. That suprised me but he survived, and I think more celebrities should speak up on this topic if they were bullied in school as children as well. I remember shock jock Howard Stern saying he was bullied in school growing up as well.

    http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/164...0/eminem.jhtml

  6. #46
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    123
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Buzz View Post
    60 minutes did an interview with rapper Eminem confessed to being bullied in school constantly while growing up. That suprised me but he survived, and I think more celebrities should speak up on this topic if they were bullied in school as children as well. I remember shock jock Howard Stern saying he was bullied in school growing up as well.

    http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/164...0/eminem.jhtml
    Well, that right there wants me to put a stop to bullying -especially if we can prevent future Eminems and Howard Sternses!

    Seriously though, kids may think the teacher is aware of what is happening, especially if the teacher is physically in the area - but that teacher could be focusing on another student, the next step in the lesson plan, etc. Not saying that it as an excuse to let bullying continue, just that the teacher may not be aware of how serious the situation is.

    I agree that some teachers are part of the bullying culture themselves. They either choose to ignore what they see, don't see it as bullying, etc. That's why it is so important to teach our children to speak up for themselves. If they can't do it in class, then they should have a safe place to go to tell. We have an anonymous hotline and dropbox at our school.

  7. #47
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Age
    24
    Posts
    1,489
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    So Eminem got bullied and then grew up to bully other people, gays in particular, in his songs that are bought by millions of people, including many children and teenagers, worldwide. Fantastic. It's like Perez Hilton scribbling and defacing photos of people he hates and then posting them on his blog that gets 1 million+ hits a day. Of course, he then yells at certain celebrities for staying in the closet too. What a horrible cycle.

  8. #48

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    5,327
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    10872
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    I think that's the catch-all theory, and not always the case. Believing that you have the right to harm another person can be a very arrogant position. Sometimes the problem is too much self-esteem.
    ITA. Studies have shown that some bullies have low self-esteem, others have average self-esteem, and some have high self-esteem. In other words, self-esteem isn't really related to bullying.

    That makes sense considering that people bully for different reasons, and sometimes people who are bullied are also the same people who bully others.

  9. #49
    OmnipresentAdmeanistrator
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    7,938
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by cailuj365 View Post
    So Eminem got bullied and then grew up to bully other people, gays in particular, in his songs that are bought by millions of people, including many children and teenagers, worldwide. Fantastic. It's like Perez Hilton scribbling and defacing photos of people he hates and then posting them on his blog that gets 1 million+ hits a day. Of course, he then yells at certain celebrities for staying in the closet too.
    Let's not forget the fact that PH also has also tried to forcefully out people, no matter the circumstances or the consequences. He actually did pretty much the same thing as those college students who secretly taped Tyler Clementi and put it on the Internet. Thankfully no one has committed suicide because of Perez' actions (that we know of), but I can't imagine how much pain he must have put those people through. Then he brags that he's moving the gay movement forward. He also supposedly made a clip for this campaign? WTF? He is a sorry and vile excuse of a human being and a total disgusting hypocrite, and he should be told that every single day of his life.

    What a horrible cycle.
    It is, but it's still a choice and those people should be ashamed of themselves. Some people think it's their right to bully others because they themselves had to suffer. I remember one vicious bully that used to post on this board, who once admitted to being bullied in school and never doing anything about it then.

  10. #50

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    9,543
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    2819
    Jack in the Box Commercial - New Pastrami Grilled Sandwich – Hazing the Intern.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5DuPaAeC_w

    I was shocked when I saw this commercial, and surprised it is allowed, although, “hazing” seems to be a legitimate practice on US university campuses in fraternities and sororities for many years, and "dedovschina" is quite common in the Russian Army.

    “Animal House” supposed to be one of the funniest movies, although I could never understand why, since the movie has a lot of grotesque and outright vicious actions between students against each other.

    …….. and I still don’t understand why “dedovschina”, “hazing”, “sadism and abuse”, “harassment”, “badgering” is called by such cute word as “bullying”, which to me means using power to push someone around for personal gain (to take better seat, to take away property, to make another run errands for free, etc).

    Instead of "bullying" i would use “Malicious Tormenting” and make it a criminal offence.

  11. #51
    Corgi Wrangler
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Not Wearing Enough Sparkles
    Posts
    6,458
    vCash
    510
    Rep Power
    5546
    At my university one of our fraternities lost its charter for a year over hazing. Especially embarassing as they're the alpha chapter.

    Regarding 'adult bullies', I suspect in many cases they ARE the ones who were bullied, those who didn't turn it inwards. People tend to forget the converse of the golden rule where if you do unto others in a nasty way, eventually they're going to either break (the suicidal types) or they're going to turn on you (best-case scenario, bullies and tyrants themselves, worst-case, shooting rampages and package bombs.) If you keep poking that snake with a stick and it turns out to be a spitting cobra, not a corn snake, you've no one to blame but yourself when it attacks.

  12. #52
    Argle-Bargle-ist
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Age
    50
    Posts
    8,565
    vCash
    875
    Rep Power
    77372
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  13. #53
    Left in the Kiss-n-Cry
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    near St Louis
    Posts
    16,068
    vCash
    24000
    Rep Power
    37844
    Members of the chorus I belong to (Gateway Men's Chorus), Charis, and Band Together came together to create an "It's Get Better" video this weekend while we were doing a joint benefit concert at a local church. It just got posted on You Tube last evening.
    I meant to take the high road.... but I missed the exit.

  14. #54

    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Nashville
    Age
    98
    Posts
    7,275
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    549

  15. #55
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Missing Matsutake
    Posts
    2,737
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Beefcake View Post
    In the end, I loved high school, but I believe that it would've been much tougher if I hadn't lucked into the ability to excel in sports and thus gain auto acceptance by the in crowd. Sort of a sad commentary on the state of American youth, but it's a Truth. "Gay" is just fine as long as it's deeply hidden and you fit the All American blond boy mold.
    This was my partner's experience in highschool. He was fit, popular and managed to avoid being harassed because he managed to fit a certain image. He was propositioned for sex by people who then turned and made fun of 'faggots' who failed to fit into any social clique.

    My experience on the other hand was just trying to survive a day without being harassed, physically or sexually assualted. I remember sitting in the shower every morning praying to no God in particular that I could make it through just one day without being berated.

  16. #56
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Looking for cupcakes
    Posts
    30,765
    vCash
    5550
    Rep Power
    0
    The class president of my middle son's high school class was gay. Everyone knew he was gay, they accepted him and loved him. He went to college and committed suicide the second semester - harrassment and abuse about being gay.

    The number of people from all classes in his high school was amazing. It was a tragedy that the college students couldn't embrace him like his own high school students.

  17. #57
    Skating Pairs with Drew
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In Uber Rehab
    Posts
    12,171
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Lainerb View Post
    My experience on the other hand was just trying to survive a day without being harassed, physically or sexually assualted. I remember sitting in the shower every morning praying to no God in particular that I could make it through just one day without being berated.

    That sounds exactly the way it was for someone that I know. She is straight, but obese. She described being on edge every minute she was outside of her house waiting for the yells from strangers in cars, rude remarks and physical assaults from other kids etc. She hid in the bathroom all during her lunch periods because she was so abused during "free time" She never ate anything at school because she knew that she would be watched and mocked.

  18. #58
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    154
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by mmscfdcsu View Post
    That sounds exactly the way it was for someone that I know. She is straight, but obese. She described being on edge every minute she was outside of her house waiting for the yells from strangers in cars, rude remarks and physical assaults from other kids etc. She hid in the bathroom all during her lunch periods because she was so abused during "free time" She never ate anything at school because she knew that she would be watched and mocked.
    Hmmm....I didn't know we'd talked before! No, seriously -- high school was torture for me, for those exact reasons. (It still happens in my "grown up" life sometimes.) Bullying is bullying, and NO ONE deserves it, whether it's based on sexual orientation, appearance, nationality, or whatever.

    Because of my appearance, I've been verbally, physically, and sexually assaulted (walked past a boy who grabbed my butt, and when his friend said 'that's not cool', he responded with 'she's fat, she doesn't care!'). I've been told that "I would kill myself if I looked like you". Thanks to strong family support, I never did any harm to myself, but my self-esteem took a huge hit that I still struggle with.

    I've never understood what compels someone to bully/harrass/make fun of another person. If you don't like them, leave them alone. It doesn't seem that complicated.

  19. #59

    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    1,015
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    368
    I actually found this video very powerful in its heartfelt honesty, especially for those individuals who can't necessarily indentify or relate to the videos coming from the Ivory Tower of Hollywood celebrity.

    Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr5ix1UUnPI

  20. #60
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    out in a boat (out and about) in Nova Scotia b'ye!
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,946
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    184
    Here is John Quale/Prince Poppycock's video

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SjZ9wfVUo4
    The mind of the performer is a very strange thing.
    ~James Galway

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •