Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 87
  1. #21
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,261
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I noticed in the past few years on website comments like youtube etc. there are a lot of kids/adults? that use the phrase "why don't you just go kill yourself". Not sure where this trend started but something really needs to be said as that kind of disgusting language is being used so often.
    Last edited by DickButtonFan; 10-09-2010 at 07:35 PM.

  2. #22
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Really Missing Alex Wong
    Age
    30
    Posts
    8,353
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    A good friend of mine, who is gay, 23 almost 24, is going to be on the PS3 Reality Show Tester, that premieres for its second season in a few weeks. He is the token gay guy and makes no qualms about being gay and makes me effort to hide it.

    He's received A LOT of hate mail on his youtube channels and videos already, including comments like "Fecking Homo, just go die" and a lot of other things like that.

  3. #23
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,774
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Tim Gunn's vid ... already posted in the Project Runway thread and Clementi thread in PI but appropriate a third time:

    Tim Gunn - It Gets Better

  4. #24
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,774
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Like Peter, I was bullied for being "sissy" when I was in grade school. As much as you might expect for a pudgy-legged, shy, soft-spoken, 3rd grader who was new to the country school from the city.

    Bus rides to/fro school were a particular kind of nightmare for the first 3-4 years, as I was relentlessly ear boxed (forcefully slapping another's ears with open palms, as if playing the cymbals) (who knows how much hearing damage I've got?) by older kids, kicked, called "sissy" and "pansy", and generally made fun of. Still, I refused to sit at the extreme front of the bus with the other "weirdos", which would've been admitting defeat and marginality, and instead suffered their will. My poor older sister still cries over the fact that she never really stepped in to help me those times.

    School was just slightly better into middle school, as I was still a bit whimsical for a boy, and thereby was still enduring taunting, and destruction of my "stuff". My occasional "had enough" moments where I'd fight back only resulted in visits to the principal's office, and my parents being faced with my "problem". I'd have done anything to not have my parents hear about how I was perceived at school! Also, after these incidents, the bullying would spike in retribution. So I learned to shut up and toughen up, and I began to learn to let the things that I could not control ... just roll off the shell I was growing.

    It. Gets. Better. By junior high I had found my own "clique," and found that there were other ways to fit in ... or thrive despite not totally fitting in. And by high school, I'd gotten even better at ignoring the whispers, and had stumbled into the ultimate shortcut for fitting in and popularity -- becoming strong and good at sports. Was able to bridge the gap between friendships with my middle school "oddball" clique and the jocks and cheerleader sect.

    In the end, I loved high school, but I believe that it would've been much tougher if I hadn't lucked into the ability to excel in sports and thus gain auto acceptance by the in crowd. Sort of a sad commentary on the state of American youth, but it's a Truth. "Gay" is just fine as long as it's deeply hidden and you fit the All American blond boy mold.

  5. #25

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Driving the Han Yan Fan Van
    Posts
    9,169
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    33791
    I remember the kids who were "different"--not just exhibiting those stereotypical gay characteristics, but awkward, with bad skin, smaller than normal, late bloomers, dressing "funny," you name it--being teased and mocked and such. I don't think I ever saw any outright physical violence, save for one time one of the boys who was bullied fought back (and I saw him walking home with a bloody nose). He was very "square" and wore button-up shirts and ties to school every day.

    What is this sick part of our human nature that somehow "needs" to put others down? I'm ashamed of the times I made fun of people or excluded them just because everyone else did. NO ONE should have to endure any sort of bullying/harassment/abuse because they're gay/bi/trans or any other sort of 'different' from something thought of as "normal" or "average."

  6. #26
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Really Missing Alex Wong
    Age
    30
    Posts
    8,353
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I was bullied daily from K-12, for a variety of reasons, 4-12th, was mostly for being gay or at the time, perceived as gay, which eventually turned out to be correct.

    I was never physically assaulted, I was stocky, short but stocky, and a few times I'd let my temper show, I think most knew not to cross me. Plus I was always very non-confrontational about it. I never wanted a physical fight or to get involved in one, so did everything I possibly could to avoid that.

  7. #27

    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Age
    50
    Posts
    2,104
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    466
    Quote Originally Posted by DickButtonFan View Post
    I noticed in the past few years on website comments like youtube etc. there are a lot of kids/adults? that use the phrase "why don't you just go kill yourself". Not sure where this trend started but something really needs to be said as that kind of disgusting language is being used so often.
    I know of adult women using this term against someone they're mad/jealous of online. They've said things to my friend like, "you're so ugly, no one would ever want to sleep with you, you might as well kill yourself." The ones saying this are in their early 30's, as is the person they told this to.

    Really, really shocking. It's as if life itself has such a small value anymore.
    Give me one more quiet night, before this loud morning gets it right, and does me in.
    ~DC

  8. #28

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    294
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    38
    I think this is a fantastic initiative. I just went to the candlelight vigil that was held in Toronto last Wednesday for lives lost due to homophobic bullying.

    For such a recent campaign, there have to be about 1,000 videos already...simply amazing!
    Last edited by jtpc; 10-10-2010 at 05:32 AM.

  9. #29
    Loving on babies!
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Twin heaven!
    Posts
    11,723
    vCash
    1570
    Rep Power
    41476
    I am fortunate, I think the only "bullying" I ever got was more teasing and mild harrassment. I remember when we first moved to California from New Jersey, when I was about 7, and I was getting picked on by an older boy and his friends because I "tawked funny" My step-dad, who'd been my dad all of about 2 months at the time, gave me this un-PC advice: If you aren't going to fight back, I don't want to hear you whining. And if you do fight back, do it to win.

    It's a shame such advice would no longer serve the purpose these days.
    I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.~W. C. Fields

  10. #30
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    123
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    Three reasons for that:

    1) Adults have the right to sue. A child doesn't.

    2) Teachers' unions will absolve teachers of the same responsibilities a typical supervisor or employer would face for recurrent harassment occurring on their watch.

    3) If adults get harassed in the workplace, it's likely that he or she will eventually quit the job, which causes a staffing problem for the employer. The teachers know that the harassed child's options are much more limited, and even if the child does leave, see #2.
    1) Parents of children have the right to sue.

    2) Not anymore, not in my state/country. Mandated reporting is very inclusive now.

    3) The teacher needs to be told what is happening. To assume the teacher is omnipresent is a mistake victims make all the time. Bullies know this is not true, and use it to their advantage.

    We're doing a lot of anti-bullying training with staff and students at our school system. The hardest thing to 'resolve' (besides tha actual bullying, of course!) is the secrecy factor.

  11. #31
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    4,747
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Schmeck View Post
    3) The teacher needs to be told what is happening. To assume the teacher is omnipresent is a mistake victims make all the time. Bullies know this is not true, and use it to their advantage.

    We're doing a lot of anti-bullying training with staff and students at our school system. The hardest thing to 'resolve' (besides tha actual bullying, of course!) is the secrecy factor.
    Exactly. Over and over in the 16 years I taught high school, we'd hear through the grapevine or from parents reporting that some kid was a horrific bully to another kid or group of kids. And often as teachers, we'd be saying, "Really? That one?" We never denied it; we just hadn't seen it. Because they don't do it in the middle of English class. They are way more sophisticated than that. And, more and more, they are doing it online. At most schools, Facebook and other social networks are blocked, and the vast majority of teachers do not friend their students via social networks because it crosses boundaries. And victims rarely tell any school employees, teachers or otherwise, what is going on.

    As a teacher, I never wanted anything like this to be happening to any of my students. And one nasty word to another student in my classroom got a kid in trouble. But the hardcore bullying is not happening in the classroom.

  12. #32
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Looking for cupcakes
    Posts
    30,765
    vCash
    5550
    Rep Power
    0
    I pretty much hated junior high and high school. I think I have posted before that when in 7th grade I had a huge crush on one of the popular guys as did most every other straight girl. He told a girl who I thought was my best friend that he would get her into the popular click, but she would have to ditch me as a friend.

    She was a 36 DD at the time, I did not go through puberty until 4 years later. The guys were only interested in the boobs and really had no interest in her as a person, but I was dropped from everyone's friend list. Later I learned that her life was hell as all the guys assumed she put out. Gym class/showers were a nightmare for me with pointing/looking/comments. I can not imagine what life would have been like if facebook or myspace existed at that time.

    I can not imagine what it must be like to be gay. Words/name calling/harrassment/bullying do hurt.

  13. #33

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Gwyneth Paltrow Fan Club headquarters
    Posts
    17,268
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    29999
    Louise Karch, who has won several medals at Canadian Adult Nationals, is organizing the filming of an "It Gets Better" segment on ice next weekend in London (Ontario). I'll post any links I can find.
    Last edited by overedge; 10-10-2010 at 08:08 PM.
    You should never write words with numbers. Unless you're seven. Or your name is Prince. - "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Word Crimes"

  14. #34
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Age
    24
    Posts
    1,489
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I just read on NYTimes a few days ago about a horrible hate crime done on a few gay men. It was extremely violent and demeaning, and I read the article with my jaw open. It's horrifying to know what happens at schools, but then to read what's happening to some people after they've left the school environment is perhaps even more sad.

    Anyways, I think the It Gets Better campaign is an amazing initiative, and I'm glad that so many people have contributed. I hope it receives even more national attention that it already has.

  15. #35
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,074
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Schmeck View Post
    1) Parents of children have the right to sue.
    You're correct, and some parents are exploring legal options. The point is that the child is not empowered to sue, which means he or she has to get the parents on board first. A lot of parents won't want to do that, especially if there are siblings in the same school system. It's not unheard of for parents to get Teacher A in trouble for something done to Sibling A, so Teachers B, C and D make life rough on Sibling B. An adult who is being harassed in the workplace does not have that legal barrier.

    As for teachers being unaware: sometimes that's the case, sometimes it's not. Adults who were frequent targets in school often remark that teachers definitely witnessed various horrific events and did nothing, laughed, or only stepped in once the victim tried to fight back.

  16. #36
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    4,747
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    As for teachers being unaware: sometimes that's the case, sometimes it's not. Adults who were frequent targets in school often remark that teachers definitely witnessed various horrific events and did nothing, laughed, or only stepped in once the victim tried to fight back.
    And maybe they killed themselves trying behind the scenes.

    Long story short, I knew there was a huge amount of bullying going on in the last school I worked for with the jocks making life hell outside of school for the drama/music types. I coached drama and I heard about it all. And I took it to the counselor and principal a million times. I tried to get the principal to take action every way I knew how. But he was the head football coach and was either completely in denial or didn't care. The result wasn't the bullying stopping or being addressed. The result was the jocks complaining about me to the principal every chance they got and the principal harassing me for three years until I quit teaching due to that and unrelated harassment from parents that was never addressed.

    ETA: I know of way too many teachers who have been harassed and bullied by incompetent administrators and had no legal recourse. Unions don't help much for those who are not tenured and only a bit for those who are and in most private schools, there is no union and no tenure. Don't be so quick to have the knee-jerk blame teachers reaction to all that ails schools. Administrators have the control yet take little of the blame and get away with just about anything.
    Last edited by PDilemma; 10-10-2010 at 09:02 PM.

  17. #37
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,074
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I knew there was a huge amount of bullying going on in the last school I worked for with the jocks making life hell outside of school for the drama/music types. I coached drama and I heard about it all.
    That's great that you did try to get it stopped, but from the sounds of it, this didn't happen in your class and you didn't witness it, so your options were limited. Still commendable you made the effort. What I was referring to are teachers who actually witness the behavior during class when they're the central authority figures, and they don't take action. These are the same teachers who readily correct gum-chewing or cell phone use; where are their vocal chords when they see harassment occurring?

  18. #38

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    5,319
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    9947
    The project has good intentions, but I'm not sure it actually does get better for a lot of people

  19. #39
    Skating Pairs with Drew
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In Uber Rehab
    Posts
    12,171
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    I was badly bullied from Kindergarten through 5th grade by one disgusting excuse of a human being. Since I was also abused by my sister at home, it would not have occurred to me to go to my parents for help. I wonder if I would have said anything if there had been public awareness of abuse and bullying way back then.

  20. #40
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Rejecting your reality and substituting my own
    Age
    30
    Posts
    11,004
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Kruss View Post
    I know of adult women using this term against someone they're mad/jealous of online. They've said things to my friend like, "you're so ugly, no one would ever want to sleep with you, you might as well kill yourself." The ones saying this are in their early 30's, as is the person they told this to.

    Really, really shocking. It's as if life itself has such a small value anymore.
    That's just pathetic. Not just mean, it's even beyond immature. It's pathetic.

    I mean, elementary-school kids are dumb and most of them don't know better, but 30-year-olds? Pathetic is the only word I can think of to describe such behavior out of people should have grown out of such things 20 years ago.

    I have a friend from high school, and she was one of the nicest, most generous people I knew. She confided to me that when she was in elementary school, she was a huge bully. Surprise was an understatement - you wouldn't have pegged her for a bully at all. She felt bad about what she did/said to other kids that age, but when she was younger, bullying other kids was what she did to entertain herself. One day she just decided it was stupid and stopped doing it. So some bullies do grow out of the behavior, but I think that mostly happens when they're the kind of kids who do it for "fun," not a self-esteem issue. I bet many such kids didn't yet possess the capability of putting themselves in another's shoes, and once they develop that capability, they grow out of the bullying. It doesn't make them sociopaths, it's just that all kids are self-absorbed.

    I think some older bullies (like the aforementioned 30-year-olds) do it because of their own low self-esteem. They feel threatened for some reason, and bullying is their way of lashing out. My younger sister actually bullied me when we were kids, but now I know it's because my parents coddled me more (me being the softie stutterer and my sister being the headstrong outspoken personality) and she interpreted that as me being the favorite.

    Others, I can definitely see a peer pressure thing going on, especially if it's a bunch of people ganging up on the same person. Again, it's lame but not entirely surprising. When I was in elementary school, I was made fun of because I refused to torment another girl that the kids were bullying. That kind of stuff happens, but I'm sure that everyone involved is completely different and don't deserve being villified. Everyone's stupid in their own way when they're young.

    I remember being bullied as a kid, but not that badly, considering I was skinny, quiet, physically slow, AND had a stutter. I had pride in my own intelligence and empathy, and that was enough to get me through. I've actually found through Facebook that some of those who were really immature back then have matured a lot, so "It gets better" can be true.

    When the bullying becomes violent...yeah, I have no idea how one would get a handle on that.

Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •