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  1. #1

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    Adult-Onset Skating Syndrome (AOSS)


    I have it!
    3.3 Adult-Onset Skating Syndrome (AOSS) So you're 30-something or 40-something and have never skated, or skated a bit as a kid. But the sight of the skaters on TV gets something going in the pit of your stomach so you get some skates and take a few lessons. Next thing you know you're hooked! Some of the symptoms of this disease are:
    1) You start dreaming about sit-spins and double jumps.
    2) You find yourself practicing spread-eagles while waiting for the bus.
    3) The major factor in choosing an apartment/vacation destination is a nearby rink. Corollary: You know the day/hour of every skating session within 50 miles.
    4) You start planning your work and family life around your skating sessions. Corollary: Your dog fetches your skates on command.
    5) You put off buying clothes to pay for more coaching. Corollary: The clothes you DO buy are made of Lycra and sequins.
    6) You break in your skates by wearing them at work and slip on the way to the printer, suffering a black eye.
    7) You forget to take work clothes to the rink and end up spending your work day in your skating costume. None of your colleagues seems surprised.
    8) You hype your Alpha test so much at work that your co-workers think it's a qualifying event for Nationals.

    If you notice any of these symptoms in yourself, you are suffering from AOSS my friend!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hedwig View Post

    I have it!
    I've had it for years. I used to do #2, except I wasn't waiting for a bus. It was either when I was filling up the gas tank or pondering the office vending machine choices.

  3. #3

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    I have my own version of #2.

    You practice double jumps in the elevator lobby to take advantage of the high ceiling and padded floors. In case the head of your group walks in while this happens, you just shrug and explain you ice skate. He was completely

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by ioana View Post
    I have my own version of #2.

    You practice double jumps in the elevator lobby to take advantage of the high ceiling and padded floors. In case the head of your group walks in while this happens, you just shrug and explain you ice skate. He was completely


    I was doing some off-ice yesterday in the train station when I waited for my train in the middle of Paris. People looked at me as if I was a freak. (Which I admittedly was at that moment but I was soooo bored)
    It is good that Spiralgirl was already gone as she was already ashamed of Mella and me when we did a sprinting race in the middle of the town after our skating lesson.


    My next number on the list is that my boss asks me regularly if I can do any doubles or triples yet and I always explain very earnestly what I am doing at the moment and that I still don't have all my singles.

  5. #5

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    Oh yes, there are a lot of us. Although since my dogs like to chew I wouldn't dare have them fetch my skates! But work definitely gets planned around skating sessions (hey, I freelance; flexibility is among the many advantages, and I never waste work time in meetings!)

  6. #6

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    I discovered a new one today:

    a) You get up at a time where you would normally throw someting at your alarm clock and are in a good mood because you go skating. And then you spent 3.5 hours going back and forth to the rink, skating and showering for 1.25h of skating...

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