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  1. #1

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    Only children: not so lonely after all

    Only children: not so lonely after all

    This is the opposite of the Duggar's thread.

    My husband is an only child and it looks like we will only have one child, due to some complicated circumstances more than a conscious choice.

    Thoughts?
    Last edited by algonquin; 08-17-2010 at 04:01 PM.

  2. #2

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    If anything, being an only child might actually be better - you are more motivated to get out there and make friends, rather than relying on companionship from your siblings. Plus you get more of your parents' attention and no hand-me-downs

    One potential downside is fewer opportunities to learn how to share limited resources while growing up. Have there been any studies on this issue?
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

  3. #3
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    I was an only and was lonely as hell as a child. It couldn't be helped, as my dad had children from an earlier marriage who he had to care for, but it sucked.

    I think I'm relatively normal socially, though I'm more of a "small-circle" person. I'm much like my husband in this regard, and he had two brothers, so I think that's more a temperment thing.

    We just had our first baby, and while I don't love the sleep deprivation thing, I'm still planning another, as long as everything goes right biologically.

    Bottom line, if you can only have one, then that's the way it is. No need to feel guilty about it and I'm sure the kid will be just fine.

  4. #4
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    Only children were the rule rather then the exception when I was growing up (no diapers, anyone?) so it wasn't a big deal.

    I learned to read when I was 5 and don't remember being lonely as long as I had a good book with me. My first cousin who is of comparable age is like a sister to me without the competition for parental attention. It's all good!

    I think either way is fine.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  5. #5
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    I'm an only child and can't say I've ever been at a disadvantage socially. Like you IceAlisa I was reading very early and that is still one of my favourite pastimes. My Mum was always a big reader and trying to get her attention while she was stuck in a good book was a lost cause so I guess I thought if you can't beat 'em..... I don't ever remember being lonely and even today, I enjoy my own company as and when the occasion arises. My partner on the other hand, who is from a large family of siblings, hates being alone. The one thing I am bad at as a result of being an only child is sharing. I can get very propriatorial over things even with my partner and have to check myself sometimes because it's completely irrational behaviour and of course I know where it stems from, but sometimes I just can't stop myself!!

  6. #6

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    I'm also an only child. So is my mom, and my biological father has one sister, but she's around 12 years younger than my father. So I never really had cousins while I was growing up.

    I don't remember, really ever being lonely. Like Ice Alisa said, give me a book, and I'm a very happy person.

  7. #7
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    I'm an only, and so is my son. I never had any problems gorwing up - I had plenty of friends to hang with when I wanted them, and my books when I didn't. I think my son struggles with being an only a bit more than I did, because he doesn't like to read and there's only so much video games/tv you can do before getting bored. He plays a lot of athletics, which helps, but it's the downtime at home that gets tedious for him at times - especially in the summer.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChelleC View Post
    I'm also an only child. So is my mom, and my biological father has one sister, but she's around 12 years younger than my father. So I never really had cousins while I was growing up.

    I don't remember, really ever being lonely. Like Ice Alisa said, give me a book, and I'm a very happy person.
    me too. i'm happiest with a good book.

    that said, i'd love to have more than one child, only to keep each other company as their parents age. my parents have divorced, and my dad is ill. he is lonely having only one child as a support, and it's a tough burden for an only child to face (aging, sick parents with no familial support).

  9. #9
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    I wonder if an only child is similiar to the first child in temparament and the like, if most only children are outgoing and assertive as that is how first children tend to be?

    (speaking as a second child...)
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    I wonder if an only child is similiar to the first child in temparament and the like, if most only children are outgoing and assertive as that is how first children tend to be?

    (speaking as a second child...)
    I may have heard something along these lines that as a psych major in college. Although I wouldn't really describe myself as outgoing. I am very introverted.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by IceAlisa View Post
    I may have heard something along these lines that as a psych major in college. Although I wouldn't really describe myself as outgoing. I am very introverted.
    I would not have pegged you for introverted at all. Online is so deceptive...
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    I would not have pegged you for introverted at all. Online is so deceptive...
    Sure is.
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  13. #13
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    To think we are all so quiet in real life...
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  14. #14
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    I'm not





  15. #15
    AYS's snark-sponge
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    Quote Originally Posted by agalisgv View Post
    I'm not




    Noisy!
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    To think we are all so quiet in real life...
    I should clarify that in an academic setting you can't shut me up but in a social setting I am much more of an observer. In other words, I am a nerd!
    "Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."

    from Speedy Death

  17. #17
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    Okay, so I'm the real quiet one here.

    You'd be lucky to get two words out of me in rl.
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  18. #18

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    I am an only child too - I wasn't lonely but I also read a lot of books, too! I am noticing a connection here.

    I tend to get along well with first-borns and maybe there are a lot of similarities.

    I think there are advantages and disadvantages with any number of children you have or how the ages are spaced apart.

  19. #19

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    I am an only child, both of my parents wanted more,but it was not meant to be. I have to admit that I hated, and still hate, being an only child. I didn't have any cousins my own age, and didn't grow up in a neighborhood with many other children. I remember being somewhat lonely as a kid. I was a very avid reader and had a very active imagination. I was also very introverted and I didn't really have any close friends until I was in high school.
    For me it's a little bit sad that , as I get older, there won't be any extended family during the holidays, or even anyone to just reminisce with over what things were like when I was growing up.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    Noisy!
    Not noisy, just somewhat extroverted

    I like people and get along with just about everyone IRL. I'm pretty easy-going in that respect. I'm not an only child either
    Quote Originally Posted by BlueRidge View Post
    You'd be lucky to get two words out of me in rl.
    Fib!

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