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  1. #21
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    Congratulations to them!

    I'm a little confused about the term "civil wife"...what does that mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by discoduck View Post
    Congratulations to them!

    I'm a little confused about the term "civil wife"...what does that mean?
    It means they live together, but are not married

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by discoduck View Post
    I'm a little confused about the term "civil wife"...what does that mean?
    I've assumed they had only a civil ceremony and didn't marry in a church.
    But seeing Natasha Miller's post I am not so sure now.

    Edit: The post above me confuses the hell out of me. Not for its content, though.

  4. #24
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    Or could be commonlaw = living together.
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Plato

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mevrouw View Post
    Or could be commonlaw = living together.
    You are correct. "Civil wife" = common law wife. Living together but not married. A civil ceremony would officially make them husband and wife; a church ceremony is not required for that.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha Miller View Post
    A civil ceremony would officially make them husband and wife; a church ceremony is not required for that.
    I am very well aware of that.
    I thought the mag wanted, for whatever reason, to distinguish which ceremony had taken place.
    I see I was wrong.

  7. #27
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    Ah okay, thanks for the clarification.

    That's what I was thinking but I wasn't sure.

  8. #28
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    You are technically correct about the term "grazhdanskaya zhena" (civil wife), but the media routinely use that term for live-in girlfriends. It's also common conversational usage. Domnina & Kostomarov haven't had any kind of wedding ceremony at ZAKs (civil) or place of worship as per public record, and in interviews don't use the term "wife"/"husband".

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinami Amori View Post
    Actually, regardless if the article presented the phrase accurately or not……. In the context of Old Russian Traditions, it is very romantic.

    This means he is serious about her. So serious that he considers her worthy to be the Mother of his Children.

    It’s also can be looked at as he is bribing her to give him a child…… which is also “in the old world context” an honor for a woman, to see a man eager to have a child with her.
    How easlily people speak about another country's traditions, based on folk stories, poems or so-called personal experience, when in fact they know a little or nothing about the topic.
    If my man told me: "I would marry you if you give me a child", I would tell him the f-word very politely and trust me many girls would do the same. Many modern Russian women don't want to be treated only as mothers. They want to be treated as lovers, friends, supporters, etc. She is the one. Kostomarov's words are actually quite rude and selfilsh. But he had a history of a brief marriage. Who knows what his reasons are.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by let`s talk View Post
    If my man told me: "I would marry you if you give me a child", I would tell him the f-word very politely and trust me many girls would do the same. Many modern Russian women don't want to be treated only as mothers. They want to be treated as lovers, friends, supporters, etc. She is the one. Kostomarov's words are actually quite rude and selfilsh. But he had a history of a brief marriage. Who knows what his reasons are.
    Did you miss the part where Natasha and others explained that the source is not legit? That the quote attributed to Kostomarov is supposedly something he said. To whom? Uncle's best friend's cousin? It is not referenced (Kostomarov said in this article ... link ...) and is not posted as a direct quote. Sounds like bs to me.

    Lets not jump rip someone apart over a trashy unprofessionally written piece of crapolla.

  11. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by let`s talk View Post
    How easily people speak about another country's traditions, based on folk stories, poems or so-called personal experience, when in fact they know a little or nothing about the topic.

    Many modern Russian women don't want to be treated only as mothers. They want to be treated as lovers, friends, supporters, etc. She is the one.


    Dorogaya moya.... I am a female, I was born in Moscow, and most of my business ventures are in Russia. I am in may late 40's and been observing Russia/USSR for almost 5 decades, and working there, and etc....

    ...... and I say "you are not correct"....

    It is true, that younger Russian women (more than before) chose a more independent approach to life. But decades will pass until women in Russia will have equal salaries, equal career opportunities and most important a desire to be equal to men in terms of independence and self-sustainability.

    More women than less, in Russia, want to be "wives and mothers". Finding a "rich husband, lover, sugar-daddy" is still very important to many.

    I have many business partners and associates in Russia, starting 1991...
    - I know their wives + children;
    - I know their "2nd-family-on-the-side-civil mistress-wives + children";
    - I know their "secret young lover girls who they take to Paris on vacations";
    - I know their female secretaries and admin-assistants who they lay 2-x a week on the office table;
    - and I know the "escort service telephone numbers" they dial when traveling on business on a short notice and are not able to quickly arrange for travel for one of their "own women".

    .... and on top of that..... these men demand fidelity for ALL their women....

    ... and ALL these women keep giving them Babies...
    As the New Russia saying goes among the "smart girls": you make a baby with a rich man - you guaranteed yourself 18 years worth of meal ticket.

    Most wives know all that, and stay for money and prestige...
    Most 2nd-family-on-the-side girls know all that, and stay for money and prestige...
    and same goes for the rest of the "totem pole" except for whores in Las Vegas..... those do have other clients.

    Oh, and the girls who don't make it as "wives, mistresses, secret lovers, secretaries-with-benefits, or hostess-bar whores"...... They doll themselves up, put on whore-clothes with pants so tight that you can identify their religion, and go to the "West" to screw the balls (and wallet) of Rich Westerner, and then dump them just for asking after taking half of their property, or inventing and "abuse case" to get even more money.....

    and yes...... maybe 10% of younger girls will pick career and education before "picking a man"..... I know some of these girls, they are there, good for them...... but there are SO FEW.....

    Do you remember the survey in "Kommersant" back in 1995, the replies to the question posted to women in Moscow "what would you like to be when you grow up now that its no longer URSS"? - the answer was "HARD-CURRENCY PROSTITUTE".... 72%!

    Well they may not want to be "HCP" now..... that bluntly.... They just want to marry rich, and immediately give that man a CHILD.... after all in some countries "marriage" is often a form of legalized prostitution...... because girls can't afford to "marry for love"...... And Russia is One! of! these! Countries! (as much as it saddens me – it’s true).

    What is that Russian saying? Oh yes…… A man does not have to be good looking to marry…. He has to be rich and just slightly less ugly than a monkey…..

  12. #32
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    wow, life is so horrible

    Something tells me that Oksana is not that stupid and has enough dignity to avoid all those terrible things stated above.
    She is a skating champ just like her fiance, so probably can afford not to depend on him that much

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    Dear Tinami Amori,
    I have no doubt you are talking from experience. However, it is not universal and should not be presented as such.
    I, too , was born in Moscow and grew up there, and now live in the US. I was a professional in Russia and am a professional here. I have lots of female friends in Russia and most of them are women with education, jobs and professional success. None of them married for money or " to give men babies"
    Of course such attitudes exist, but in such an enormous country one is bound to find variety of attitudes.
    I will not deny that Russia is more patriarchal than US.
    But in a union Domnina/ Kostomarov they seem evenly matched, have been together for a while and it is completely common all over the world for a couple to get married when they expect their first child.
    Last edited by dinakt; 08-05-2010 at 08:17 AM.

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by pumba View Post

    Something tells me that Oksana is not that stupid and has enough dignity to avoid all those terrible things stated above.
    She is a skating champ just like her fiance, so probably can afford not to depend on him that much
    She sure has more than enough dignity and maybe is time to stop chewing on Roman's "statement" and concentrate on the baby part.
    Congrats to them,light pregnancy and healthy , happy baby.

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinami Amori View Post
    Oh, and the girls who don't make it as "wives, mistresses, secret lovers, secretaries-wih-benefits, or hostess-bar whores"...... They doll themselves up, put on whore-clothes with pants so tight that you can identify their religion, and go to the "West" to screw the balls (and wallet) of Rich Westerner, and then dump them just for asking after taking half of their property, or inventing and "abuse case" to get even more money.....

  16. #36
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    How exciting for them! Girl or boy, he or she is sure to be beautiful!

  17. #37

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    I think his words are taken out of context and that has taken a life of its own in our forum. I did remember some time (more than a year) ago when he talked about marriage, where he said he wouldn't bother unless she is pregnant, he went own to say that he had already married once and divorced (wasn't it some austrian skater) and couldn't see the point (something along that line).

    I think marriage before baby's birth sounds similar to Yags and TOT marriage. Roman and Oksana probably just want to be legally married before the child is born. I don't know whether Russia creates extra complication for unwed parents when dealing with child's upbringing (maybe russian could fill us on the subject)

  18. #38

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    According to this link, she's five months along and due in December.
    Adelina Sotnikova is the 2014 Olympic champion!

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domshabfan View Post
    I don't know whether Russia creates extra complication for unwed parents when dealing with child's upbringing (maybe russian could fill us on the subject)
    Nothing. No complications. Marriage registration and child birth registration are two separate and independent legal acts. They don't depend on each other. Birth certificate has the parents` names only and nothing more, nothing about if the parents were married or not. Both parents must submit their domestic passports and the kid gets the birth certificate with the parents` names on it. If the father does not want to aknowledge the kid, the court will do it (if the kid is his of course). Children born from unwedded parents get the same legal rights as children born from wedded parents, including the right to get the name of the father and his inheritance.
    I have to say that about 40 years ago (before I was born) the rules were different. If the child was born from unwedded parents, in the entry "Father" in the birth certificate the kid got zero: "-----". That law was amended long time ago, in Brezhnev's times.

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabrine Tornston View Post
    Did you miss the part where Natasha and others explained that the source is not legit? That the quote attributed to Kostomarov is supposedly something he said. To whom? Uncle's best friend's cousin? It is not referenced (Kostomarov said in this article ... link ...) and is not posted as a direct quote. Sounds like bs to me.

    Lets not jump rip someone apart over a trashy unprofessionally written piece of crapolla.
    I see. If it is bs, it is just good. I like him and he always seems sober-minded.

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