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Thread: Online dating

  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ziggy View Post
    But if you don't have any? Or hardly any? It's not like you can go out on the street and ask random people to go out for coffee with you.

    But you can do that with impunity on the internet.
    I've met two long term relationships from ice skating. Actually skating, not over the computer. I've dated someone who lives in my building...met him in the laundry room. I've also dated a couple of colleagues from the University where I teach. I haven't dated anyone from church, but the choir seems to be a fertile dating/relationship pool. We have had a couple of weddings from choir members.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ziggy View Post
    Well how else can you meet people?

    And it's a serious question.
    I was talking about that with some other people the other day--not about dating, specifically, but more in the general sense of how many modern people lack a community.

    I don't know what I would do if I were to be single again at this point. Shrivel up and die, I expect.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  3. #63
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    I have done quite a bit of online dating. I was on on fitnesssingles and eHarmony. I am now doing Match and Plentyoffish. I have met some nice ladies and have been on several dates, but have not started an actual relationship online. The vast majority of women I contact do not reply back.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coco View Post
    Has anyone tried okcupid? I'm a little leery of a free dating site, only because I'll be honest and say I don't want to date a flat broke guy - HA!

    I'm on it! It's funny because I signed up very recently (I'm the one who started this thread actually) and the first guy I was matched with is pretty cute, not broke, and we've been chatting online, we'll probably go out soon I have another friend on there who I know for a fact makes upwards of 100K a year. So I say go for it


    Quote Originally Posted by Ziggy View Post
    Well how else can you meet people?

    And it's a serious question.

    If you have a big circle of friends, then I guess you can meet people through friends.

    But if you don't have any? Or hardly any? It's not like you can go out on the street and ask random people to go out for coffee with you.
    Ziggy I actually agree with you - it's hard! I do have a pretty big circle of friends/acquaintances but even then it's not always easy to get close with people you meet through them, especially if you're trying to find a potential partner. There's also the fact that as I get older, more and more of the men I meet through friends are married/in serious relationships already. Which is why I finally caved in and am giving online dating a try - at least you know the men you meet from there are going to be single and looking to date!

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ajax View Post
    at least you know the men you meet from there are going to be single and looking to date!
    Looking to date but I wouldn't count on the single part. Good luck and have fun!
    3539 and counting.

    Slightly Wounding Banana list cont: MacMadame.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ajax View Post
    I'm on it! It's funny because I signed up very recently (I'm the one who started this thread actually) and the first guy I was matched with is pretty cute, not broke, and we've been chatting online, we'll probably go out soon I have another friend on there who I know for a fact makes upwards of 100K a year. So I say go for it
    I'm on OKCupid too, though I did take down my profile for a while as I'm still not sure internet dating is really for me. I've only messaged a few people on my own initiative - mostly I wait for someone to message me, and if they can string together a coherent paragraph in proper English, and I like what I see on their profile, maybe I'll write back. I've met up with two different guys that found me on the site, and both were perfectly nice gentlemen, quite successful, and certainly not broke. OTOH, I've also received plenty of messages from men who were very plainly seeking a no-strings-attached sort of evening. I didn't respond to those. :-)

    I do suppose the people who would use a pay website might be more serious about finding someone than those who use a free site. I'll admit that I'm not very serious about OKCupid but perhaps I'd be more motivated if I put my own hard-earned cash behind it and signed up for something like Match. My father and stepmom met on Match, and I adore my stepmom, so I guess I shouldn't be skeptical, but I am. I'm still hoping one of these days I will meet someone through a common interest.

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    I don't know what I would do if I were to be single again at this point. Shrivel up and die, I expect.
    I think you just offened all the single people on FSU over the age of 35

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    Nah, we'll just drag her out to gay bars and then bitch and whine cuz we never meet any cool straight guys.

  9. #69

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sk8Kate View Post
    I do suppose the people who would use a pay website might be more serious about finding someone than those who use a free site.
    That's what I had thought, but unfortunately guys who use expensive sites like eHarmony often expect to get a perfect person in return! Which I am not
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

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    Quote Originally Posted by orbitz View Post
    I think you just offened all the single people on FSU over the age of 35
    Why? I said nothing about anyone else, nor did I draw some sort of general conclusion about singledom. I was talking about ME. I've been married for 25 years and can't even conceive of life without my husband at this point; everything we do is intertwined to some degree. On top of that, I've never lived alone. In fact, I don't think I've ever spent a single night alone at home and I can count on my fingers the numbers of nights I've spent alone ever.

    I don't know how to be single. I wouldn't know where to start or how to organize my days and nights or what to do when I got lonely. I rarely go places alone, I've hardly ever come home to an empty house, and I can't remember the last time I even ate dinner by myself. I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get time alone, not how to find someone to spend time with. It would be a completely alien experience for me to be alone.

    But if people want to take offense at that, have at it.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Why? I said nothing about anyone else, nor did I draw some sort of general conclusion about singledom. I was talking about ME. I've been married for 25 years and can't even conceive of life without my husband at this point; everything we do is intertwined to some degree. On top of that, I've never lived alone. In fact, I don't think I've ever spent a single night alone at home and I can count on my fingers the numbers of nights I've spent alone ever.

    I don't know how to be single. I wouldn't know where to start or how to organize my days and nights or what to do when I got lonely. I rarely go places alone, I've hardly ever come home to an empty house, and I can't remember the last time I even ate dinner by myself. I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get time alone, not how to find someone to spend time with. It would be a completely alien experience for me to be alone.

    But if people want to take offense at that, have at it.
    My mom often spends long periods of time alone since my dad is often away on business trips. She always has hobbies, volunteering gigs, and gardening to keep herself busy. Heck, even when my dad is home he's mostly either watching TV or in his study reading about math. (I wonder where I get my independent streak from... )

    But she wouldn't have any idea how to hook up with a man if she and my dad were to get divorced.

    It's kinda the same thing, I suppose. But in a different way.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    My mom often spends long periods of time alone since my dad is often away on business trips. She always has hobbies, volunteering gigs, and gardening to keep herself busy. Heck, even when my dad is home he's mostly either watching TV or in his study reading about math. (I wonder where I get my independent streak from... )
    It's not like we all spend every second together, or that I don't have anything to do on my own. I have a job and interests and all that--but it's also all interwoven into everyone else's interests and jobs and school. Every day, I have to integrate my schedule and needs and wants around other people's schedules and needs and wants.

    It's going to be weird enough when the kids move out.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    I don't know how to be single. I wouldn't know where to start or how to organize my days and nights or what to do when I got lonely. I rarely go places alone, I've hardly ever come home to an empty house, and I can't remember the last time I even ate dinner by myself. I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get time alone, not how to find someone to spend time with. It would be a completely alien experience for me to be alone.

    But if people want to take offense at that, have at it.
    I'm not at all offended but you know what, I was you just two years ago. Went from group house to living with husband number one and got involved with husband number two almost the minute my first marriage ended. What with raising three stepchildren and my own daughter and a busy career, time alone was what I yearned for.

    Two years ago, with daughter at college, newly separated, I found myself staring at a cat several nights a week (or at the computer, or at a book, or the TV.) It was fascinating, scary and lonely. And complicated by romantic agony over losing a highly intense relationship.

    You learn. You find pleasure in your own company and you get a bit more organized about scheduling stuff to do since relaxing on the couch with husband and Netflix is no longer an option. And you date on the Internet and enlarge your sense of humor and possibility.

    I, on the other hand, am about to remove myself from OKCupid after less than a week, because the percentage of freaks and guys who are immediately sexual is really high. Both JDate and match.com have provided a much larger number of serious, normal guys who might be a bit boring but don't ask me about bondage on the second email.
    "Youth and vigor is no match for age and deceit." -- Prancer

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    Quote Originally Posted by PRlady View Post
    you get a bit more organized about scheduling stuff to do since relaxing on the couch with husband and Netflix is no longer an option.
    That's not really an option now.

    Quote Originally Posted by PRlady View Post
    And you date on the Internet
    Maybe. I have nothing against the internet dating scene and know quite a few people who have met a mate there. But the vast majority of dating stories I've heard in the last 10 years or so, online dating or other, haven't exactly made the prospect appealing .

    But who knows? Changes in life, changes in perspective.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    It's not like we all spend every second together, or that I don't have anything to do on my own. I have a job and interests and all that--but it's also all interwoven into everyone else's interests and jobs and school. Every day, I have to integrate my schedule and needs and wants around other people's schedules and needs and wants.

    It's going to be weird enough when the kids move out.
    Or maybe you'll be like my mom and when the kids move out, you retire and move to a little podunk-town where you can quilt and garden to your heart's desire.

    I think she had a head start though, because my sister and I were pretty independent once we got our driver's licenses. It got to the point where when my sister needed a deposit for some extracurricular, my mom would just sign the check and not even ask what it was for.

  16. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Why? I said nothing about anyone else, nor did I draw some sort of general conclusion about singledom. I was talking about ME. I've been married for 25 years and can't even conceive of life without my husband at this point; everything we do is intertwined to some degree. On top of that, I've never lived alone. In fact, I don't think I've ever spent a single night alone at home and I can count on my fingers the numbers of nights I've spent alone ever.

    I don't know how to be single. I wouldn't know where to start or how to organize my days and nights or what to do when I got lonely. I rarely go places alone, I've hardly ever come home to an empty house, and I can't remember the last time I even ate dinner by myself. I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get time alone, not how to find someone to spend time with. It would be a completely alien experience for me to be alone.

    But if people want to take offense at that, have at it.
    Its amazing how different people are actually.

    Imagine the complete opposite of this and you have me. And I cannot imagine surviving living like Prancer.

    There are introverts and there are extroverts, and all manner of in betweens.
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    I don't know how to be single. I wouldn't know where to start or how to organize my days and nights or what to do when I got lonely. I rarely go places alone, I've hardly ever come home to an empty house, and I can't remember the last time I even ate dinner by myself. I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get time alone, not how to find someone to spend time with. It would be a completely alien experience for me to be alone.
    Interesting. This doesn't offend me at all, in fact I'm curious about how different people's lives are. I've been single for so long that I feel like I'd have to make some major changes to accommodate a husband. For one thing, I'd need an apartment double the size of my current one. I don't think it's a stubbornness thing or an incompatibility thing. I've sought and enjoyed time alone ever since I was a kid.

    I have seen more judgement going one way than the other, though. People who want to be around others seem less able to understand people who want alone time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by vesperholly View Post
    ...
    I have seen more judgement going one way than the other, though. People who want to be around others seem less able to understand people who want alone time.
    I think it is just really hard for people who are strongly extroverted to even understand people who are not.

    OTOH, most folks who are introverts do want involvement with other people, including romantically. So how do people work this out?
    Congratulations 2014 World Ice Dance Champions Anna Cappellini & Luca Lanotte!!!

  19. #79
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    I lived alone for 5 years before I met my husband, and he moved in with me after a year of dating. (We got married about 3 months later.) I do miss living alone sometimes, but it's still nicer to have someone around. We both need our alone time, but sometimes it's hard for me to admit that--I don't want him to feel bad.

    It helped that he was in law school for the first three years of our marriage, he was gone a lot and I missed him. I'd rather miss someone than see them too much and want them to go away.

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    I can't do Internet dating. Apparently, I don't behave very well on dates at this point in my life so I'm liable to give some guy who doesn't know me the wrong first impression. I was on a date once at a restaurant and one of the Grand Prix events was on the television in the bar and I kept looking over my date's shoulder as he was talking to watch the skating.

    He said he would get his revenge during a hockey game, but we never actually made it that far.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

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