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Thread: Online dating

  1. #1
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    Online dating

    Has anybody tried? I signed up for it but the idea of going on dates with total strangers from the internets kinda wigs me out... Plus I never know what to say when I message someone. Just say hi, or comment on their profile, or forget the chitchat and ask them out for a drink? To top it all off the first guy who messaged me wrote that I am "density material" (destiny, I'm assuming? and also )

    Would love to hear your horror stories, success stories, tips...

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    Erm, there's a thread somewhere with some stories in it. Some of them are mine.

    Here's a sample of mine, from my blog:

    Yesterday, I received an email from a guy on the website. It contained a picture of a martini, with a phrase I can't repeat here. But, wait, it gets better. This is an actual excerpt from his profile.

    "I'm a VERY Romantic & Passionate male who doesn't smoke or go to bars.
    I like Cuddling & giving Long, Lingering, Tasteful & Lush-ish, Slow Kisses. Holding Hands & walks in the rain, moonlight, giving back rubs, Massages & drive-in movies (which are hard to find now).
    After spending years in Insurance Marketing I have 2 businesses that keep me quit busy due to goals set.

    When I'm done working tasty kissing would be nice to do. I look for companionship & I do miss the Lips of a women.

    Let me introduce my-self to you w/ a soft voice while taking your hand & placing a Kiss on the Back of your palm or "Neck". "
    And no, I have no idea why "neck" is in quotation marks.

    I went on a couple nice dates, a couple weird ones, got a marriage proposal at the end of one and, um, yeah. It was fun. Go for it.

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    Lush-ish? Well, we know he's not an English major!
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club
    Old, lonely, pathos-hungry, and extremely gullible

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    I met my bf of about a year (golly, has it been that long?) on Plentyoffish.com. Although it started out complicated because we casually dated for a few months before we seriously got together, and three months after he told me he wanted to get serious. He is one patient guy.

    I actually get a pretty good read on people when I chat with them online. It's always about 4 or 5 exchanges before someone suggests a meeting. Sometimes the guy messaged me first, sometimes I did.

    I always mentioned about something they mentioned in their profile when initiating first contact. I also only go for guys who've actually read my profile and comment on it. "You're cute" doesn't cut it with me. Obviously I don't go for ones who just say how romantic they are. That tells me nothing about their personality.

    I've met no weirdos in person, although there was that one dude on Lavalife who will go down in infamy as "foot fetish guy." The first question he asked me, before even a "Hi there" was, "How are your feet?"

    To me, online dating just means getting a chance to meet people without having to go out and actually introduce yourself to strangers (which I hate cause I'm a hermit anyway) or hope to "bump" into someone magically compatible with you. You'll come across a few weirdos, but that's the same in offline life anyway. A plus is that it's easier to weed them out without feeling too bad about it.

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    I've date from sites before....although I've never had much luck. I did meet my bf online, but it was from a chat room I went to for years. I feel too uncomfortable with a whole "set up" for dating. I need friendship first I've found.

    But yeah, as far as contact goes, take common interests from their profile and ask them about it. That's the best way to start IMO.

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    Let me introduce my-self to you w/ a soft voice while taking your hand & placing a Kiss on the Back of your palm or "Neck". "
    Yikes! That sounds like a horrible cross between creepy and cheesy

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    i did online dating and was pretty successful. I met my ex online and we dated for 4 years. I met some nice guys who turned out to be friends in the end and I still talk with them even though we have long went our separate ways. I had 2 weird experiences but they were good for a chuckle. I always went for coffee after speaking to them online then having numerous phone conversations. Coffee is short enough that if it is going bad then you can leave quickly or it is a nice short intro before going for dinner, a movie, etc. Always trust you gut and always meet in a public place. Good luck

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    Quote Originally Posted by jp1andonly View Post
    I always went for coffee after speaking to them online then having numerous phone conversations. Coffee is short enough that if it is going bad then you can leave quickly or it is a nice short intro before going for dinner, a movie, etc. Always trust you gut and always meet in a public place. Good luck
    jp1andonly that is great advice!

    I've tried online dating twice. First time I had better luck; meeting a nice man after only going out on one date with another guy. We dated for a while but it didn't work out, unfortunately.

    The second time I tried it, I got tired of wasting time on guys that weren't all that interesting in person.

    A good friend gave me advice that I think i will follow if I ever try again, and that is: meet for coffee for the first time meeting, not dinner. If you don't like them or they are hard to talk to, it's very hard to sit through an entire dinner. Like jp1andonly said, coffee is short!

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    I can't say I've had much luck. I've been on-and-off with eHarmony. First time I signed up, I talked to a few guys right off the bat and went on a few dates - neither guy panned out, and otherwise I was matched with a bunch of guys but the only guys requesting communication being drop-dead ugly. Tried Match, but mostly got creeps. One guy seemed ok, so after e-mailing quite a bit, I gave him my cell number. Big mistake - he immediately started telling me how they were filming a porn movie across the street from him, and he could see them through the window, and asking what I was wearing. Eww. So done with Match forever!

    I've been trying to meet guys IRL by joining Meetup.com groups, but mostly I end up meeting a bunch of women trying to do the same thing. Sigh!
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

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    I've had reasonable luck. It's a strange experience though. Internet dating dissects the human psyche in ways that nature never intended. One guy i had lunch with was wearing an icky weird ring. "Is that a tooth?" I asked incredulously. He had mounted the first baby tooth his son lost on his ring. NEXT!

    The meeting for coffee idea is good. For a second date, I would recommend something other than dinner or drinks. Sitting across from somebody masticating is not the most attractive introduction, and there's always the awkwardness of "who pays?". I'd prefer to do something active, to experience something together and to interact. Stroll in a botanic garden, visit a country fair, go to a dog show, that kind of thing.

    I like to refer to EHarmony as EHornyMe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aimless View Post

    I like to refer to EHarmony as EHornyMe.
    Everyone I've known who has used Eharmony was a headcase. So much for their psychological screening.

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    My experiences with online dating can be summed up this way -

    I'm done with it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    Everyone I've known who has used Eharmony was a headcase. So much for their psychological screening.
    I think it's more like, why should we give someone else the responsibility of screening out what we would consider the weirdos? That's just a recipe for disaster.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ajax View Post
    Has anybody tried? I signed up for it but the idea of going on dates with total strangers from the internets kinda wigs me out... Plus I never know what to say when I message someone. Just say hi, or comment on their profile, or forget the chitchat and ask them out for a drink? To top it all off the first guy who messaged me wrote that I am "density material" (destiny, I'm assuming? and also )

    Would love to hear your horror stories, success stories, tips...
    People meet potential partners offline?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I think it's more like, why should we give someone else the responsibility of screening out what we would consider the weirdos?
    Yeah, Eharmony's requirements are weird. They require women to accept matches of men who are 19 years older.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    I met my bf of about a year (golly, has it been that long?) on Plentyoffish.com.
    Just wondering; what do you think of this website? I was thinking of trying it, but worried that it might not do enough to protect my identity. Also, someone said if you google my name, my profile on Plenty of Fish will pop up. Is that true?
    "Marge, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'm just going to have to stop doing stupid things!" - Homer Simpson in the Mr. Plow episode

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    It shouldn't. I'm on there under a pseud...my real name is nowhere on there.

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    I know 2 couples who met online and they are both still together, 1 couple is married since 1996 and the other is common law and will be getting married (proposal imminent for their 1 yr anniversary in another month) and both are quite happy.

    Back when I was younger I did the phone line thing. Met a bunch of awesome people that a couple are still good friends of mine. The guys I met and dated were people I hung out with a few times with a group because the thought of just going to meet someone I didn't know freaked me out a bit. The 3 I dated were completely not for me...though thinking back one was a complete sweetheart. I just needed the bad boy type at that time though...
    ~I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.~ (Charles R. Swindoll)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheylana View Post
    Just wondering; what do you think of this website? I was thinking of trying it, but worried that it might not do enough to protect my identity. Also, someone said if you google my name, my profile on Plenty of Fish will pop up. Is that true?
    Unless they changed things there recently (we both left the site last fall), you don't put your real name on there at all. You just choose a "username" and if you choose one that you use everywhere on the net, that's your fault.

    Otherwise it's just like putting your info up on any other site.

    It's okay. I like that it's simple and doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles. It just lets me read profiles without a lot of moving parts, which I want.

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    I met my husband on Match.com. We were married 3-1/2 months later. That was about 4 years ago. I was 58 at the time and he was 62.

    I wasn't looking to get married, just to date. But, it worked!

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