Wow, I have almost everything listed here. I'm painfully shy, have a phone phobia
(yes, everything should be done via email!), am a procrastinator, am sometimes disorganized and often compare myself to others and find myself wanting.
But the one I have the most problem with, is the fact that I'm a non-talker. It's not so much that I'm shy, but that I'd rather sit back and watch/listen to what's going on around me rather than contribute to the conversation. I never thought much of it until one of my co-workers mentioned that it was "creepy"... and now that's all I can think of whenever there's a group of people around. So then I try to include myself more, but generally fail.
Things I dislike about myself:
I procrastinate. Sometimes to the point where I get really anxious about something I haven't done (this is usually work related) and then I get angry at myself because if I hadn't procrastinated, I wouldn't be anxious. It's a bad cycle.
I bite and pick at my cuticles. I've done it since I was pretty young so I've given up on ever breaking the habit.
I don't worry enough about certain things.
I am a supremely picky eater. This is probably the thing I hate most about myself. There are so many good looking things that I really want to like and I don't, like fruit and eggs. Don't get me wrong, I eat plenty. I just don't like a lot of foods, and unfortunately a lot of what I do like isn't all that healthy.
Last edited by Stormy; 06-29-2010 at 05:44 PM.
I'm shy, I stutter, I also hate to talk on the phone, I'm weird. The list goes on and on.
One thing I love about myself: I'm very tall!
I view being on time as very important, it's a sign of courtesy and respect to others. I don't think my husband will ever see it that way.
Last edited by Veronika; 06-29-2010 at 07:18 PM. Reason: spelling
Sometimes I don’t like to talk but it is probably more symptomatic of another flaw: laziness. But then I very rarely get mad at people mostly because of laziness too. It takes a lot of energy to be mad. So the laziness thing has its plusses and minuses.
What would Jenny do?
I hate being introverted. I hate it. I wish I could change into an extroverted personality. So many people misinterpret introversion as creepiness (e.g. the not talking post above) or snobbiness or "negativity". My last boss (who is an a$$) would get angry at me that I wasn't "enjoying" something enough because I am not outwardly emotional which is a trait of introverts--things like mandatory staff bowling parties which I enjoyed plenty, I just don't jump up and down and cheer like some of the other women on the staff did. Then he would call that "negativity" and rip on me for it in evaluations (because the level to which you visibly enjoy a mandatory staff bowling party should be the basis of a teaching evaluation--but that's another issue entirely).
Personality wise there is nothing that I *hate* about myself. I am far from perfect but don't obsess about things too much. I do hate my frizzy, curly hair and my saddlebags, which confront me every time I look in the mirror. Maybe if my personality issues were stamped on my forehead or attached to my thighs, I'd grow to hate them too.
People who are chronically late?
And so being late for him always makes me feel absolutely terrible, because he's so nice about it. Maybe he'll break me yet.
Introversion is a huge part of my personality - I would be a completely different person if I wasn't as introverted as I am. I would have chosen different hobbies, done different things, have different friends, etc. It's really nothing to be ashamed of. (The only person who's viewed my introversion as a negative is my younger cousin who's completely socially clueless himself. )
And I've been lucky enough to have friends/coworkers who understand that or are introverted themselves! Or at least we can see the "mandatory employee group stuff" as the BS that it is. Don't get us wrong, we're totally friendly and nice to people but we'd rather not spend non-working hours hanging out or whatever.
I laugh at EVERYTHING. Baaaad habit. My boss once asked me to get something off of the "printy", but he meant to say "printer." I laughed so hard for a good five minutes and then when I went back into his office later that day, I had to fight so hard not to laugh in his face because I was reminded of the printy! I realize to normal people these things really are not that funny, but I just laugh at everything.. I am cursed.
I am a perfectionist and a control freak. On the surface, it seems like a good thing because whenever I do something, I make sure I put all of my effort into it, and I end up doing really well, but it's so... hard. People talk about crazy pressure from parents, but I had that internally. Sure, my parents always wanted me to do well in school, skating, etc., but I was the one who would freak out if I got less than 95% on anything in school, whether it was an exam, quiz, or homework assignment. I was home-schooled for a period when I was skating intensely, and it got to the point where if I got one question wrong on a quiz, I would feel like I was a failure.
Skating did not exactly help my situation; I would kill myself day in, day out, and guess what happened? Injury. Major injury. Which brought up more control issues. I couldn't skate, couldn't walk even, for months. Fell into a major funk, and I basically felt like I was losing control of everything. I couldn't really go anywhere when I was injured, expect for physical therapy, and I slowly started becoming more and more of a recluse. I started to get panic attacks, which lead to agoraphobia because I was so anxious that I would have attacks in public places- something else that I believed was out of my control. For someone who craves perfection and control as much a I do, it felt like my entire world was falling apart. The more crazy I felt on the inside, the more I felt like I had to present an image of perfection on the outside. I was a basket case, but God forbid anyone see a slight crack in my veneer! Oh, and, tell anybody about these issues? Me? Strong-minded, driven, perfect triple_toe? Forget it. That would show weakness, a need for someone to help me, and an admission that I was NOT in control. I needed to control my control issues!
During that time, I would never have even written on this board about these issues. It might seem ridiculous that I wasn't even able to write on an anonymous board, but there it is. I'm still dealing with it now, but I am getting better. Talking about it helps. Hell, admitting it helps. Even though I don't like that I am an insecure perfectionist who doesn't always admit I need help with *anything*, I am still ok with myself, and I am fine with taking babysteps (not going from 0 to 100% in one go) to get better, and having occasional failures. Sorry for the long-winded post, I am more of a lurker than I am a poster, but I just had to reply on this one!
I think there's a differentiation between "things you hate about yourself" and "things about yourself you would like to change". "Hating myself" is something I outgrew in junior high, thankfully!
That said, I am working at becoming more active on my days off instead of laying around like a slug with a book or on the computer.....and I'm neurotic about the size of my toes (I have what my sister calls "preemie toes"....of course, she and my mom have monkey feet, so I don't think mine are all that tiny!)
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.~W. C. Fields
One thing I don't like about myself: I hate hate HATE offending anyone, even if it's not done on purpose. And so I never share my opinions on hot topics (or not-so-hot topics) in case someone around feels strongly against what I believe in. It sucks, because I have very balanced opinions and can always support my beliefs, but I'd rather not make other people uncomfortable, so I don't bother (and yet I have a great deal of respect for people who're not afraid to share and argue their opinions!)
I also almost never share good news with others, in the off-chance that they might feel self-pity or a little jealous. and I don't share bad news cause I never need anyone to feel sorry for me. Boy I'm complex