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  1. #41

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    When I got my first teaching job and lived at home, my parents charged me $100/month in rent (sounds really low, but that actually was 10% of my income, which is pretty much why I was living at home in the first place!). Unbeknownst to me, they saved it all and used it to pay for my wedding. I'm very grateful to them for their assistance as I learned to make my own way in the world.

  2. #42

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    Such great advice...so many unique situations. I love the idea of rent going towards a savings account (as a parent). When I was in college and came home back in the day we only had land lines and long distance calls cost $ I too would scoop up the telephone or gas bill and pay it for my parents. They didn't argue but wondered where it was! Thanks all.
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  3. #43
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    My parents did that with my brother too. He was the only one who lived at home after school. We girls bolted asap.

    All his rent went into an account, it was presented to him after his marriage, and he bought a boat. No house, a boat.

  4. #44

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    wow, I didn't pay rent at all. I purchased all the groceries though. I moved out at 23. I was making $9 an hour at that time and could only find part time employment averaging roughly 24 hours a week. (I didn't get into social services for the money lol!!)

    When my now husband and I moved in together, I did end up being able to get another part time job and contributed to the expenses each month. I just didn't have the money to give to my dad while I was living with him. if I had given him 35%, I would be paying him $302 a month, add that to the $350 for student loans...plus travel expenses to work and food I wouldn't have been able to do anything or save anything.

    So glad my dad was the way he was...

    I got my first job at 14 and have worked ever since and paid my own way for everything. If I wanted to go somewhere I saved up for it...school trips, clothes, school supplies. If I didn't have the money, I didn't get it. My parents just couldn't afford it, esp after they divorced.
    ~I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.~ (Charles R. Swindoll)

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twilight1 View Post
    wow, I didn't pay rent at all. I purchased all the groceries though. I moved out at 23. I was making $9 an hour at that time and could only find part time employment averaging roughly 24 hours a week. (I didn't get into social services for the money lol!!)

    I got my first job at 14 and have worked ever since and paid my own way for everything. If I wanted to go somewhere I saved up for it...school trips, clothes, school supplies. If I didn't have the money, I didn't get it. My parents just couldn't afford it, esp after they divorced.
    My children also have worked since they were 14, my husband and I started at 11. I babysat and my husband mowed lawns and was able to buy his first car at 14.

    Anyway, I think this is a very personal decision between parents and kids, I for one have never expected or asked for rent (I said this a few posts up) but I did expect my kids to "contribute" the best they could in areas they could.

    My daughter has been out for 2 years and my son has moved back, but he does have financial responsibilities with his business so, thats enough!
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  6. #46
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    My mother did not charge me rent, but I chose to contribute quite a bit. I did all of the yardwork/snow removal, most of the laundry, etc. I picked up many of the utility bills, and no comments on this one, paid for cable television for myselkf and my mother. I was just out of school with a B.A. in Social Work and so was making really, really bad money. Still, within a couple of years I was able to pay cash for a car and to pay for two years of graduate study at Case Western Reserve University. (My mother did want to help out and did pay for my books for grad school). My mother did not need the money and enjoyed having some company in the large house after my father died. I was also a built in house-sitter while she traveled. It worked for us.

  7. #47

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    Mojito- well if we count babysitting then I started at 11 too. LOL!! I remember babysitting and thinking that $20 was the most awesome thing ever. Haha.

    I also delivered papers when I was 10?? (Can't remember) I just know I opened up my first bank account when I got my first paycheck from the paper route and I was pretty young and my signature was just gawd awful!!
    ~I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.~ (Charles R. Swindoll)

  8. #48
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    Thank you everyone for all the advice and sorry for the late response!!

    I've been spending a lot of time calculating out my new budgets. I've been talking to some friends who are renting (not from parents) and so have worked out a rough sum in my head of how much I plan to offer. My parents are very financially well off and I'm incredibly lucky that I have no loans to pay off from my ( expensive) undergraduate tuition, but money is always money and I definitely feel that I should contribute something. The other reason I really want to do this is that I feel like it would give me a bit more leverage in my own decisions and really becoming an adult.

    I'm not making much at all since I got into this job for the experience, but most of what I make will definitely go into savings - I'm only planning to be here for about 2-3 years maximum since I want to go back to school as soon as possible. Judging from the costs listed on the grad schools I'm looking at, I think in that time I should be able to save up enough to pay for at more than a year's worth out of the two years, so it shouldn't be too bad.

    I already help out with a lot of chores around the house and definitely expect that to continue - things like helping with making meals, yardwork, cleaning, driving the sister around, etc., so that shouldn't be a problem. And I think they like having me around

    Keep the stories and advice coming... I'm really enjoying reading them!

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkats View Post
    The other reason I really want to do this is that I feel like it would give me a bit more leverage in my own decisions and really becoming an adult.
    TOTALLY.
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  10. #50

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    I have 5 kids, and 4 of them came back home (one with a fiance to study for the bar exam) and I had a stand that I would never charge my children rent. I had three daughters all move back at once, I thought we were all going to shoot ourselves!

    In hind sight, it was a mistake. I think my attitude was not the best thing for them. If one is out of college, and working IMO it is appropriate that they use their income to cover their expenses.

    Definitely the parents should establish what the rent should be. Then you have an opportunity to accept or decline. Whatever they establish, I betcha, is way below what that amount of money would get you on your own. I assume they have a lovely home, in a nice neighborhood, washer/dryer, dishwasher, and all the conveniences or....well....home.

    If they are smart (and I wasn't) they will have an end date on the agreement. Adults are adults, and I think it is best to treat them as such.

    Voice of experience here.
    DH - and that's just my opinion

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasey View Post
    My parents had each of us find a job when we were 16, and start paying "rent". (Of course, they weren't going to kick us out, but it was part of learning adult financial responsibility, etc). Each of us had to pay 10% of our take home salary to them, as well as start buying all our school supplies, most school clothes, and paying for whatever other teenage things we wanted at the time. The cool thing is, our parents put our "rent" into a savings account for each of us that we got when we graduated high school, so we learned the beauty of saving as well
    My parents also did something similar. Though my brother and I were only expected to work summers while we were in school. My parents took 50% and put it in investments. My Dad also matched 50% of what we gave him and invested that as well. He turned the accounts over to each of us when we got married, to put toward a down payment on a house. Neither of us knew he was doing that, we just thought we were paying rent. I was very, very lucky to have had that advantage.

    We have not had our kids pay rent. The economy has been rough and neither are making a huge amount. My daughter just moved into her first apartment with a roommate. she has an inheritance from my Dad to supplement her if she gets caught short, but hopefully that won't happen. My son is starting law school in the fall and has taken out a loan for tuition, etc. (though the school is giving him more than half - thank goodness). We talked and told him he should live here (the school is 40 minutes away). We won't charge him, we want him to graduate with as little debt as possible - then he can take care of us .
    Last edited by cruisin; 06-30-2010 at 10:56 PM.

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    We won't charge him, we want him to graduate with as little debt as possible - then he can take care of us .
    Really? Your retirement plan is your children?
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  13. #53

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    Quote Originally Posted by AxelAnnie View Post
    In hind sight, it was a mistake. I think my attitude was not the best thing for them. If one is out of college, and working IMO it is appropriate that they use their income to cover their expenses.
    That is my feeling as well. My son lived with me rent free after finishing school for a couple of years and I finally realized I wasn't doing him any favors by allowing it. It slowed his personal growth and his peers were passing him by in terms of maturity and what they were accomplishing because they had taken on more responsibilities. When living at home is TOO comfortable and easy, there is little impetus to get out into the world and live on one's own. My son and I have a better relationship now that he is pulling his own weight and he feels a lot better about himself and has more confidence.

  14. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by uyeahu View Post
    That is my feeling as well. My son lived with me rent free after finishing school for a couple of years and I finally realized I wasn't doing him any favors by allowing it. It slowed his personal growth and his peers were passing him by in terms of maturity and what they were accomplishing because they had taken on more responsibilities. When living at home is TOO comfortable and easy, there is little impetus to get out into the world and live on one's own. My son and I have a better relationship now that he is pulling his own weight and he feels a lot better about himself and has more confidence.
    Yes, this was me. I lived with my parents for a couple years after graduation. But I really didn't start to grow up until I was living on my own. And funny but yes, I was more comforrable taking on more work responsibility when I took on more personal responsibility as well.
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  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by milanessa View Post
    Really? Your retirement plan is your children?
    Oh, come on, don't you know what the is for? It was a joke. We'll probably be taking care of them until we land in nursing homes . Another joke.

  16. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    Oh, come on, don't you know what the is for? It was a joke. We'll probably be taking care of them until we land in nursing homes . Another joke.
    Sorry - My everyday life is so far removed from yours that I never know when you're kidding or serious.
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  17. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by milanessa View Post
    Sorry - My everyday life is so far removed from yours that I never know when you're kidding or serious.
    Why do you think your everyday life is so removed from mine? You really don't know me or what my everyday life is like. We are probably not as different as you believe. We may have some differences of opinion on some topics, but essentially we are decent people who want to do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is hard to determine.

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  18. #58

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    This is a tough subject because I see more and more young people at home when I think they should be striving to be on their own. That said, I waited tables and realize I don't want my DD doing what I did to earn a living. I put myself through college but at the expense of brain cells along the way. But my mom and dad grew up in the Depression went thru 8th & 6th grade respectfully before they had to work full time on the farms. My how time has changed things!
    "awwww....shades of Janet Lynn" - Dick Button on anyone who makes more than one mistake in their program.

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    You really don't know me or what my everyday life is like. We are probably not as different as you believe. We may have some differences of opinion on some topics, but essentially we are decent people who want to do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is hard to determine.
    I absolutely should not have posted what I did. I apologize.
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  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by skatemommy View Post
    This is a tough subject because I see more and more young people at home when I think they should be striving to be on their own. That said, I waited tables and realize I don't want my DD doing what I did to earn a living. I put myself through college but at the expense of brain cells along the way. But my mom and dad grew up in the Depression went thru 8th & 6th grade respectfully before they had to work full time on the farms. My how time has changed things!
    Yes they have. And most generations want to be able to give their kids a better life. At this point, with this economy, it is tough to do. I don't know that our kids will be able to improve their lot to the extent that past generations have. But then, I suppose it is all relative. The tough part is to know where to draw the line. It is one thing to enable your child to have a better life, it is another to enable your child to feel entitled.

    With the scholarship money that my son is getting from his law school, we probably could pay the balance. But we feel that it is important that he get loans and pay for it himself. We will support his living expenses, but he needs to understand that not everything will be given to him. He wanted to move into an apartment, rather than live at home. He was being rather a twit about it too. We made him sit down and really figure out whether or not taking out a bigger loan to pay for housing would be worth it in the end. It was not an easy decision for him, he really wants to be on his own. But, he is going to law school full time and working part time would not provide enough money to pay for his expenses. He came to realize that, at least initially, living at home would be the best financial decision.

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