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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by PDilemma View Post
    Tales from the trenches of teaching high school: snip.
    I think that there is some socioeconomic and generational issues here. Yes, in the 60's and early 70's we couldn't wait to get out of the house. We were able to provide ourselves with a fairly nice level of living without worrying about being out on the streets. I know that it is all relative, but my tution for nursing school was ~$375 to $400 a year. That included meal tickets. Of course books were a bit more, but mostly I could use the books in the library. Since I was among the first non-traditional students (i.e. married and going to nursing school :gasp: a huge advance in admittance to nursing school), we lived in an apartment off campus and paid $50.00/month for rent and utilities paid. And neither one of us had difficulty finding jobs.

    Contrast to my kids and their friends. They all have student loans of at least $20,000.00 - $100,000.00. Their friends would like to live on their own, but even if they have a job, rent for a 1 bedroom apartment will be anywhere from $750.00 - $1200.00, no utilities/per month.

    Go back a few generations, when we were a agricultural (sp), several generations families would live together. Not considered a failure. And the US is different than other cultures, when generations live together.

    Quote Originally Posted by mkats View Post
    Sorry to drag this thread back on topic but I just wanted to update y'all:

    I brought up the topic of rent-paying to my parents yesterday. Dad's response was "nah, you don't need to pay rent", whereas Mom's response was "OF COURSE you do!!" When I brought up my proposed sum, Dad said it was way too much, and Mom shrugged and said "you can pay whatever you think is appropriate." I think my proposal is a decent amount to cover rent, car insurance, and my cell phone bill, so I'm going to go with that amount.

    I start work tomorrow
    That's great!

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    I am a product of the 70's, my experience was very different from mmscfdcsu's and Prancer's. I never did anything really wrong. Never would have drank liquor in school, didn't smoke, didn't cut class,
    Neither did I. I was the queen of passive resistance. I never did anything wrong, so I didn't get myself in any real trouble; I just refused to do anything right. My brothers now, heh, well, different story there.

    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    But, compared to most, I was very "well behaved".
    Exactly. Anyone who went to high school in the 70s must have some selective amnesia to complain about those awful kids today. I have a hard time not snickering when my son says that things are all different now with all the potheads and druggies and sex fiends, nothing at all like when I was in school.



    Quote Originally Posted by mkats View Post
    I start work tomorrow
    Good luck !
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  3. #123

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    More than a year ago, I moved out of my dad's house because I felt that I needed the space and it was simply time for me to live out on my own.

    Every time I go visit or talk to him, he's always trying to get me to move back and enticing me with promises of living rent-free, etc.

    One time he yelled and lectured at me because he didn't understand why any child of his had to go out and pay rent to some stranger when he has a big house where all of his children (he has 6 and I'm the oldest) can live for free. I wonder if it's an Asian thing because from my personal experience Asian parents (Vietnamese parents where I live) really don't expect their children to pay rent when they live under their roof. However, they are expected to always drop whatever they're doing in order to do some chore or task their parent calls them up with or to put "family first" and keep up with family obligations. If the family owns a business, then they are expected to work there from childhood to well after college graduation.

    My mom, otoh, I lived with almost all of my life until I moved in with my dad. She doesn't have the financial freedom he does, so I helped her out, financially, as much as I could. However, she didn't like me moving out to pay money to a stranger either. However, her concern was both out of love and out of the fact that she used to take nearly my whole paycheck to pay for whatever expenses she had. When I moved out, I took most of my money with me and she has to call me every time she's short with something. One thing moving out on my own helped me do was learn how to say "no" to her. I really do love my mom, but she's not the greatest person when it comes to living on a budget. She's gotten a lot better, though.
    "Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility." - Ambrose Bierce

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Neither did I. I was the queen of passive resistance. I never did anything wrong, so I didn't get myself in any real trouble; I just refused to do anything right. My brothers now, heh, well, different story there.
    Yeah, my younger brother tested my parents patience too. He was much more rebellious. I admit that I had a mouth at times, but my brother was the one who got into trouble.

    Exactly. Anyone who went to high school in the 70s must have some selective amnesia to complain about those awful kids today. I have a hard time not snickering when my son says that things are all different now with all the potheads and druggies and sex fiends, nothing at all like when I was in school.
    My memory is pretty clear about the drugs et al that went on during the 70's. Probably because I didn't do them . I don't think the drug problem is necessarily much greater, but I do think that many of the drugs today are more dangerous. Though LSD was pretty scary, I witnessed a few bad trips. When my kids or their friends would tell me I don't understand, that things are different today. I would tell them no, they are exactly the same, the only difference is that I am not naive like my parent's generation was.

  5. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    I don't think the drug problem is necessarily much greater, but I do think that many of the drugs today are more dangerous. Though LSD was pretty scary, I witnessed a few bad trips. When my kids or their friends would tell me I don't understand, that things are different today. I would tell them no, they are exactly the same, the only difference is that I am not naive like my parent's generation was.
    I think that today's parents may not be as naive regarding illegal drugs, but a huge problem is the use of "legal" drugs. And pill parties. Where kids empty out the medicine cabinets of the parents and grandparents, bringing them to a party. Then it is a mix-em up game.

    But I think that parents are of the typical "not my child" thought. It happens to other families - not mine. Although i once worked with someone who thought that if she continued to move to the exclusive neighborhoods, i.e. moving on up in price, she would avoid any problems with drugs or guns or violence or sex. I told her that if she asked her son if he: knew where he could get alcohol or drugs on school campus, where he could get weapons and/or who carried them to school and if there was anyone in his class who was pregnant, he could list them off in a matter of seconds. She didn't believe me. I wan't going to push, knowing that she was an ostrich.

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkats View Post

    I start work tomorrow
    Congratulations on finding a job, mkats, and more power to you for taking responsibility for your own living costs. It says a good deal about you.

  7. #127
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    First mkats - Congratulations! And good luck today.

    Quote Originally Posted by numbers123 View Post
    I think that today's parents may not be as naive regarding illegal drugs, but a huge problem is the use of "legal" drugs. And pill parties. Where kids empty out the medicine cabinets of the parents and grandparents, bringing them to a party. Then it is a mix-em up game.

    But I think that parents are of the typical "not my child" thought. It happens to other families - not mine. Although i once worked with someone who thought that if she continued to move to the exclusive neighborhoods, i.e. moving on up in price, she would avoid any problems with drugs or guns or violence or sex. I told her that if she asked her son if he: knew where he could get alcohol or drugs on school campus, where he could get weapons and/or who carried them to school and if there was anyone in his class who was pregnant, he could list them off in a matter of seconds. She didn't believe me. I wan't going to push, knowing that she was an ostrich.
    Yes, I agree. Parents today are more savvy, but there is a lot of denial. I find it to be amusing that some parents believe that the more affluent the neighborhood, the less risk of drugs. The more access to cash these kids have and the more bored they are, the more you should be worrying.
    And, as you mention, the access to "legal" medicine cabinet drugs. When my kids were in high school, any drug that might have been an issue (like codeine for dental work) we kept in a hidden place. Not even to just to keep it from my kids, but their friends who might be bold enough to peruse the medicine cabinet. We also kept very little alcohol in the house.

    The "not my kids" mentality has caused many problems for those kids. Not just with regard to parents denying that their precious darlings are incapable of doing drugs/drinking. But that they never do anything wrong. The situations in school that PDilemma wrote about are the result of the same mentality. The parent who is outraged because Johnny comes running up, saying billy hit him, who never asks, did you do something first. Because Billy isn't telling the parent that he clocked Johnny in the head with a shovel first. I can't say how many times I watched that exact kind of behavior and wanted to strangle the parent denying their child did anything. When my kids claimed someone did something to them, I always asked if they started it, before I reacted. I did call teachers whining about one of my kids grades, except for one time. And that was because the teacher accused my daughter of not doing some work herself, and I watched my daughter do it. This teacher not only accused my daughter of lying, but embarrassed her in front of the whole class. On that issue, I was !

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