My attempt at a skating novel

**TanithandBenFan** · 06-23-2010, 03:14 PM

Bumping up because I've added a bunch more chapters. I'd love any feedback on whether the writing has improved, gotten worse, stagnated....

**D&Sfan4ever** · 07-08-2010, 03:01 AM

Honestly, it's getting better and better. I can't wait for the next chapters.

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-08-2010, 03:12 AM

Originally Posted by D&Sfan4ever

Honestly, it's getting better and better. I can't wait for the next chapters.

Thank you so much!

**alhrayth** · 07-19-2010, 01:23 PM

°_° < my face towards the end of chapter 49. OMG I was not expecting that! Keep it coming, I need to know what happens next!!! I am really, really enjoying reading your story!!

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-19-2010, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by alhrayth

°_° < my face towards the end of chapter 49. OMG I was not expecting that! Keep it coming, I need to know what happens next!!! I am really, really enjoying reading your story!!

Heehee, glad I could shock you.

And I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

**Mendi** · 07-19-2010, 04:46 PM

I've not commented on it or anything, but I'm enjoying it immensely. Wish you would drag the skating scenes out a bit, they're the best part.

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-19-2010, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by Mendi

I've not commented on it or anything, but I'm enjoying it immensely. Wish you would drag the skating scenes out a bit, they're the best part.

Thanks! I had a lot more detail in the original version, but I've cut a lot because I got some flack about too much unnecessary information. I'll try to find a better balance.

**quebecoise** · 07-19-2010, 07:40 PM

I love your story and the new chapters are even better than the first ones. I just can't wait to know what will happen next. I was even sad when I saw chapter 49 was the last one because I want to know what will happen!! lol. Continue that way!

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-19-2010, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by quebecoise

I love your story and the new chapters are even better than the first ones. I just can't wait to know what will happen next. I was even sad when I saw chapter 49 was the last one because I want to know what will happen!! lol. Continue that way!

Thanks so much! That's what I was hoping for - to improve with each chapter, so I'm glad to hear that's happening.

I just posted Chapter 50.

**Patzeez** · 07-23-2010, 06:00 PM

Great work! I am eagerly awaiting more chapters. The 9-11 attack segment was certainly unexpected.

You write dialogue very, very well.

Congratulations -- you definitely have a future in writing.

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-23-2010, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by Patzeez

Great work! I am eagerly awaiting more chapters. The 9-11 attack segment was certainly unexpected.

You write dialogue very, very well.

Congratulations -- you definitely have a future in writing.

It means a lot to me to hear that about the dialogue because I used to struggle mightily with it. Thank you so much for your encouragement!

**quebecoise** · 07-23-2010, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by TanithandBenFan

Thanks so much! That's what I was hoping for - to improve with each chapter, so I'm glad to hear that's happening.

I just posted Chapter 50.

I just read the 3 last chapters. I love it! Can't wait to read more!! I love the way that we can never predict what will happen. You always bring suspense.

**GoldenMichelle** · 07-26-2010, 02:59 AM

Just finished reading all the chapters you had posted.

My honest opinion including a little constructive critisim and some praise

:

When I first started reading I didn't think the writing was very good. There is something abrubt and disjointed about the beginning of the novel. It took several chapters before I figured out what exactly the story was about. There were many plot points introduced and it wasn't clear at first what the theme was. With that said I was pleasantly with the remainder of the novel. With each chapter your writing got better and the story more clear and intriguing. I am enjoying the story and can't wait to read more.

Just a bit of a suggestion for your writing. I would reccommend doing more describing of things. This will not only help the reader get a visual picture of the scene, but in many cases will also help establish character.
For example: you have always described Sergi's apartment as just that, "Sergei's apartment." But where does he live? What kind of home? How is it decorated? Saying that he chose an apartment in the middle of the city that is sparsely furnished with hand-me-down furnture says something completely different about him than saying he chose an apartment in the suburbs furnished in bright colors and prints from his homeland of Russia. Saying nothing give the reader no picture at all. I think if the reader better knows the characters its easier to get involved in the story.

Anyway, as I said I am enjoying the story and I have bookmarked it to read more once you are finished. Keep up the good work.

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-26-2010, 04:00 AM

Thanks for the feedback! I think one day I'll take another crack at the first couple of chapters. I've had a hard time finding the right way to start the book. I'm glad you stuck with it and are enjoying it.

**GoldenMichelle** · 07-27-2010, 12:03 AM

I agree the beginning is always the hardest. I think you're doing great for your first time though.

Now where's that next chapter?

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-27-2010, 01:53 AM

Originally Posted by GoldenMichelle

I agree the beginning is always the hardest. I think you're doing great for your first time though.

Now where's that next chapter?

I'm on vacation this week, but when I've had down time I've been working on a different part of the story. Sorry.

I'm actually on Cape Cod, so I've been getting lots of inspiration.

**GoldenMichelle** · 07-29-2010, 04:20 AM

Originally Posted by TanithandBenFan

I'm on vacation this week, but when I've had down time I've been working on a different part of the story. Sorry.

I'm actually on Cape Cod, so I've been getting lots of inspiration.

Don't be sorry, enjoy your vacation!

**essence_of_soy** · 07-31-2010, 12:49 PM

You need to start sending some sample chapters to publishing houses that feature this kind of fiction.

**TanithandBenFan** · 07-31-2010, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by essence_of_soy

You need to start sending some sample chapters to publishing houses that feature this kind of fiction.

Do they accept individual chapters? I always thought you had to send a whole manuscript, but I know nothing about the publishing world. If anyone has any tips, I'd be very appreciative.

**rfisher** · 07-31-2010, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by TanithandBenFan

Do they accept individual chapters? I always thought you had to send a whole manuscript, but I know nothing about the publishing world. If anyone has any tips, I'd be very appreciative.

They do not. And even if it were complete a publisher will drop it in the trash without being viewed. You have to have an agent if you are an unknown author. Agents will not even consider a manuscript if it isn't finished. There are a number of publications available on agents (Writer's Guide to Agents published each year) which will tell you who is accepting new authors, what types of manuscripts they accept, how to write a query letter and other things you have to know.

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