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  1. #281

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    Quote Originally Posted by rfisher View Post
    BC, I know the temptation is great to trash your company, but I strongly advise you NOT TO DO SO. Not on the internet and certainly not to a competitor or on a job interview. It will not hurt them, but will have a horrible impact on you. You never, ever say something negative about your previous employer if you are looking for a new job. Ever.
    What she said. Your digital footprint tells people a great deal about you, and word will get out. If you complain publicly about a previous employer, or to a prospective employer, all that will do is make them wonder about the wisdom of hiring a negative Nellie. As others have said, you screwed up, got caught and you've paid the price. Some valuable lessons in the entire situation that you should be able to use for your benefit as you move on. And yes, you do need to move on. Bitterness will only eat you from the inside out and that's no way to live a life.

    Good luck with finding a new position suitable to your talents.
    Haunting the Princess of Pink since 20/07/11...

  2. #282
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelskates View Post
    That doesn't say to me that you're interested in the role. I would never agree to this, and I think it shows bad form to ask. Part of having a job is making it fit you as best as possible, horrible coworkers or not.

    Asking for a half day to "try" screams fussy, difficult to get along with, looking for alternatives, and just not sure about the job to me. You can't tell very much in a half day anyway, but can you imagine how much that would interrupt the office? What if each person who tried a half day decided the office culture wasn't for them? When should training occur? Employers can't afford to offer trials, it takes too much effort, time and money to train people.
    Apologies for not phrasing this very well. Working for my current employer for the day was actually offered to me, not the other way around. I have been here for two years now, and as it is a small firm, the people are great and the work is interesting.

    Where firms should be clear is in their initial job descriptions. Sometimes a firm will 'enhance' the role just to get people interested. Having applied for graphic design roles onto to find out they are clerical or office admin is a waste of everyone's time.

    Perhaps it is best to ask for a more detailed overview when applying to see if it is a suitable match for your skills and experience.

  3. #283
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    (((BaileyCatts))) - Think of this as a new beginning for you, a fresh start. When you find that new job, you will have a clean slate and you can begin to start new relationships and attitudes with the experience you have gained from your former job. As the old saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens -- good luck and keep us posted on your job search.

  4. #284

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    Yes, I know. I was just angry. I also thought that the few people I did consider friends were told not to communicate with me, and I've been afraid to contact them for fear they would say I was "harrassing" them, but I've learned that the announcement that I "left to pursue other interests" just went out today. This has been my only place of employment, aside from some part time jobs before going to school, for 22 years. This company is the biggest employer in my city, and even in these times is almost considered 'employment for life', I make big $$ for the role I have that I will never make again the rest of my life, benefits and perks I will never gain again, so its a little upsetting knowing as of today I have no income all over a stupid email that YES I know is my fault. I'm still sitting here thinking I need to go to bed to go to work tomorrow and things I have planned due to the date, and am still in denile. And yes, I am fully aware it was my own stupid fault for assuming I could just do what I always did, not following up, and maybe in that instant I was confronted it hit me OMG he didn't really know and that is why I denied it. I really don't know why I didn't just admit yes it was on my screen, other than the force of his confrontation and being completely startled by it since I simply closed it and moved on to something else.

  5. #285

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    BaileyCatts...I'm very sorry that it turned out this way. I wish you well and will pray that you find another situation that will be fullfilling. Best wishes.

  6. #286

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    I hope you can get unemployment benefits from this job - that will give you some time to get the anger and grief out of your system. Just don't let it linger too long. You can even think of it as a mini summer vacation. It may take some time but you will find another job and hopefully it will be a better fit.

  7. #287

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bostonfan View Post
    Sometimes after spending a long tenure in one place, it helps to do some temp work. A lot of people will do that anyway while doing their job search. Besides earning some money, temping exposes you to a lot of different companies, and could lead to a permanent position - at which point you could decide whether or not to accept based on the office culture you experienced while temping.
    I totally agree. I have had a couple of great jobs that I got out of doing temp work over the years (like my current one which has been my best job ever). Also worked out the ones I didn't want to stay at, even if I had been offered an opportunity.

    Those who employ temps don't care what has happened in your past, as long as you can do the job, because they have trusted the agency to do that groundwork for them. I have found agencies generally are more sympathetic to those who have lost jobs because they do understand that jobs don't work out. After I lost a job working for a husband and wife team, the first comment I got from the agencies were they are the worst kind of employers to work for and were not surprised it hadn't lasted.

    Agencies have always been my first avenue of employment after a job didn't work out. Looking for a permanent position can lead to the questions about why you left your previous employment which may make it more difficult to get a job and can probably make things a bit more uncomfortable with the questioning.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  8. #288
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    Don't know if this would appeal at all to you BC, but you might consider going back to school. It will give you a break from everything, and it will either make you current in your present field, or give you skills to change careers. If you do the latter, you may bypass the whole reference question since your new field may not check-in if this is clearly a career change.

    Just something to think about. Best of luck to you--

  9. #289
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    Those who employ temps don't care what has happened in your past, as long as you can do the job, because they have trusted the agency to do that groundwork for them.
    Not necessarily! It used to be that a person with a turbulent job history could bypass a company's background checks via temp-to-perm work, but that's not always the case anymore. In fact, some temps actually face twice the scrutiny of perm employees, because many temp agencies run extensive background checks, and then the client companies themselves run their standard background checks on potential temps.

    Even if they don't do actual background checks, temp agencies nowadays tend to call all of the applicant's past jobs because the agencies learned that this provides an excuse to speak with supervisors at corporations and pitch the agency's services.

  10. #290
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaileyCatts View Post
    This has been my only place of employment, aside from some part time jobs before going to school, for 22 years. This company is the biggest employer in my city, and even in these times is almost considered 'employment for life', I make big $$ for the role I have that I will never make again the rest of my life, benefits and perks I will never gain again, so its a little upsetting knowing as of today I have no income all over a stupid email that YES I know is my fault.
    Now's not the time to think about that. From your earlier emails, you sounded unhappy working with the people around you. Money and benefits aren't worth anything if you're unhappy. It really isn't.

    It's time for a new start - think of all the possibilities! Lots of people here have suggested great options.

  11. #291

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    (((BaileyCatts))) I'm sorry it turned out this way. I hope you will find another job that you like and with people that you like. Good luck with the job search. It it difficult when you have been with a company for 22 years, but now you have to look forward and think positive. It's a new opportunity for you to succeed.
    When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed."
    Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F

  12. #292
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    I'm so sorry BC. (((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))). But at the same time, think of this as a new opportunity. I know it's not easy to view it that way, but think about it:
    1. Your boss wasn't willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, he just fired you over one mistake. I would not want to work for someone like that.
    2. I think he also probably never made the boundaries of work email, etc. clearer to you. Again, that is his fault.
    3. You don't have a good relationship with your co-workers. You'd be shocked how a change of environment can change things -- you might find people you like.

    I know right now it's so hard to think positive, but you have to think that one day, the axe was going to fall. This is not a company that treats its employees well. If it wasn't this, it was going to be some other infraction. And again, had your boss valued your employment, a very stern talking to and warning would have sufficed.

  13. #293

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    Quote Originally Posted by canbelto View Post
    1. Your boss wasn't willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, he just fired you over one mistake. I would not want to work for someone like that.
    Every single company has things, single things, you can be fired for (and not need to give severance) - accessing confidential information is usually one of them. It's a security breach. If you don't want to work for a company that can fire you over one mistake, regardless of what that mistake is, you should probably work for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by canbelto View Post
    2. I think he also probably never made the boundaries of work email, etc. clearer to you. Again, that is his fault.
    How much clearer can you get than him saying he didn't want her accessing his email? Obviously her lawyer agreed, otherwise, she'd be getting severance. Again, BaileyCatts, knew she wasn't allowed access, she knew what she was doing wrong, and she did it anyway. There was no misunderstanding on BaileyCatts part, she understood the boundaries clearly.

    I really don't understand how people can be defending BaileyCatts actions. It is possible to feel sorry for her and still understand that her company did the right thing.

  14. #294
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    I think BC recognizes her errors. I don't think now is the right time to reiterate them.

    Similarly, because BC recognizes her errors, I don't think it benefits her for people to go on how unjustly they may think she was treated. It rather defeats the point of encouraging her not to become bitter and to move on in a positive direction.

  15. #295
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    I totally agree with Karina1974's post. It's difficult but you really need to try to let go in order to move on. Nothing worse than living in the past.

    It looked as if you weren't very happy in that job anyhow. I definitely wouldn't want to be working in a place where I didn't get on with most of my coworkers. Try to look at it as a new opportunity to start doing something different, maybe ever re-train as agalisgv suggested. There's more to life than this.

  16. #296

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    Question: how do you explain why you left your last position when the only thing on my resume is ONE company for 22 years? Like I said, this company is the biggest employer in my city, well known for 'employment for life', has not gone thru any downsizing ... what do you say was your reason for leaving? AND without having a job first? It would be different if I was simply job hunting while working .. you are looking for another opportunity. How do you answer that question if you were fired .. after 22 years?

  17. #297

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    I would suggest simply saying that after 22 years in one company, you decided to pursue other opportunities, and say nothing more. They likely won't press you on it - people leave jobs for all sorts of reasons, the important thing is that you don't criticize your former employer. If you haven't already, you should find out what you former employer will say when a potential new employer calls to verify employment - generally, most companies won't discuss a reason for leaving, they'll just confirm employment dates, title, salary - you want to make sure you and your former employer are on the same page.

    You mentioned that they didn't give you any forms that a terminated employee would get - did you get COBRA info? If not, you need to get that - the law requires them to give it to you.

  18. #298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Debbie S View Post
    I would suggest simply saying that after 22 years in one company, you decided to pursue other opportunities, and say nothing more.
    I would add, "I wanted to pursue other opportunities, and that is why I wanted to work for this company...." Then I would wax poetic about how wonderful the company you are applying to is. That basically segues the question back to your interest in the new company, and off of a topic you don't really want to get into.

    If you could take a class or two in a new area, then you could also mention that as the new direction you want to explore and how this new company seems like the perfect fit because you'll be able to draw upon your new skills in helping the company achieve x,y, and z. etc.

  19. #299

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    Quote Originally Posted by Debbie S View Post
    . If you haven't already, you should find out what you former employer will say when a potential new employer calls to verify employment - generally, most companies won't discuss a reason for leaving, they'll just confirm employment dates, title, salary - you want to make sure you and your former employer are on the same page.
    She said that is what they confirm .. employment dates, title, salary. Basically they just confirm that you worked there. She also said they would not provide references. How am I supposed to apply for jobs with no references? My boss said he would not provide a reference for me. Do companies really still require a list of references these days that they will call and want to speak about your abilities? I have a few friends I can use, but they are other administrators like me, not managers.



    Quote Originally Posted by Debbie S View Post
    You mentioned that they didn't give you any forms that a terminated employee would get - did you get COBRA info? If not, you need to get that - the law requires them to give it to you.
    No, I didn't. My sister also told me that too. When I escalated the issue to my HR person's boss about her not giving me any information whatsoever and not allowing me to come and pack my desk until "she" had the time, we set a time for Friday for me to come pack my desk and was told I would be given any forms. So I am hoping that is in there since my sister told me this is your medical insurance and its a ton of money, but you have to pay it because you need insurance. Is that right?

  20. #300
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    It really depends on the job in regarding to professional references. Almost all employers do a background check now. Many do indeed call former employers, but it depends. If they ask for professional references, they'll probably call. If they ask for personal references, they may not.
    Those who never succeed themselves are always the first to tell you how.

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