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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by orbitz View Post
    A 3 years old kid isn't going to suddenly discover skating all by herself if her mother or some other adults didn't introduce it to her. The "horrible stage mother" description makes it seem as if AP's mother used crack and whips to force AP to all those daily practices and competitions. I highly doubt that was what occurred at all.
    Her mother was a horror. Probably the worst skating mother ever. At some point, I believe that she was forbidden to attend competitions.

    Quote Originally Posted by tangerine_dream View Post
    The quote I read had her mother stated that she picked the smallest baby to adopt that she could find because tiny girls make better skaters. Of course, it was so long ago none of these articles are still available.
    Things like that are hearsay, but nothing that woman did would surprise me.

    Just because AP is/was coaching doesn't speak to whether or not she likes/liked the sport. Most competitive skaters, especially ones who had moms like AP's, know *nothing* outside of skating. When they want to move out of the claws of their parents and make their own money in order to move out and take charge of their lives, they really have nothing to do other than coach. Good luck getting a job at 18-19 years old with zero retail experience when your friends have had part-time jobs since they started high school. Coaching earns more, it's easy for a past Nationals-level skater to get a job, and it's something they know they can do. It's a no-brainer, and anyway just because she might have hated skating herself doesn't mean she would hate coaching. Just look at Tiffany Chin.
    All very good points. The sad thing is that AP was so talented, it was heartbreaking that she got no joy from her accomplishments. She is a very bright, charming, kind hearted young woman. I hope she finds something to be passionate about. Because, whatever it is, she will be brilliant.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    Her mother was a horror. Probably the worst skating mother ever. At some point, I believe that she was forbidden to attend competitions.
    It makes me wonder wether skaters who succeed in skating necessarely have that kind of parent. Can a kid reach a good level without a certain amount of pressure from parents ?
    I'm reffering to your experience in your arenas since theoritically anything is possible. In reality it may actually be more one way than the other.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artifice View Post
    It makes me wonder wether skaters who succeed in skating necessarely have that kind of parent. Can a kid reach a good level without a certain amount of pressure from parents ?
    I'm reffering to your experience in your arenas since theoritically anything is possible. In reality it may actually be more one way than the other.
    I think that skaters with mothers who are like AP's are most likely to resent the sport and do exactly what AP did, leave when she could make her own choices. AP's mother was abusive. I've seen a few high level skaters leave the sport because of parents who just have no boundaries.

    That said, there is something to a parent introducing their child to a sport, whether it is skating, soccer, hockey, football. Many kids do start a sport based on parent's interest in the sport. Ideally, parents will allow their kids to try many different sports and then let them chose based on what they like or what they are good at.

    I do believe that it is important to have strong support from parents, in order to be successful in skating. First of all, it's expensive. If the parent is not willing to pay for the ice time, lessons, outfits, etc. it won't work. On the other side of that, it is expensive, so if the child is spending too much time socializing/not working - a discussion about continuing should take place. Then there is the time issue, time of day that ice is available, the hours of on/off ice training, and depending on how close the rink is - driving time. Can/will/should the parent/skater commit to that. It is also important that a parent be present as the child's advocate. Not that the parent should be coaching, but they should be there to determine when a coach/partner has crossed a line. Some parents do have some desirable skills that can be contributed to the skater's success, it behooves the skater and coaches to take advantage of that. But, the parent should also know when they are crossing a line. The most successful situations are those where the skaters, parents, and coaches respect each other, listen to each other, and are committed to the success and well being of the athlete/s.

    No child should be forced to participate in a sport, and they certainly should never be mistreated, humiliated, or abused. I was at a rink once where a parent was so bad (low level, no one who made it) that someone anonymously called DYFS. Shortly after, no one saw the child at any local rinks, so... who knows, maybe the mother got a clue.

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by AnnM View Post
    Wasn't rather widely rumored back in the day that AP's mom had adopted her with the specific intent to make her into a skating star? That's what I remember hearing.
    "You will SKATE.......you WILL skate.....YOU will skate"


  5. #25
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    She was actually lucky to adopt a child who indeed had great habilities for skating !

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artifice View Post
    She was actually lucky to adopt a child who indeed had great habilities for skating !
    In some ways I'm sure for her as a mom who dreamed of her daughter becoming an Olympian, I assume it was even worse for her to see AP have so much talent but not the love of the sport, rather than having no talent and knowing that nothing was really lost.

    Of course I have no idea how a grown woman who was deemed sane by an adoption agency could possibly think someone could grow to love a sport that is drilled into them like the military and from which the child knew was most likely the only way to derive love from their parent, but to each their own.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artifice View Post
    She was actually lucky to adopt a child who indeed had great habilities for skating !
    I don't know that anyone was lucky in that situation. The Mom, obviously, has some serious problems. And AP paid a heavy emotional price.

    tangerine_dream, I hear you about the fact that the adoption agency was clueless. But some mental illnesses are very hard to pick up. The mother could have just come off like she would do anything for the child.

    At this point, the only thing that matters is that AP is happy, and maybe that her mother get/got some help. It would be nice if she and her mother could find some measure of reconciliation. Just because, it would be nice for AP to have a parent in her life, but only if Mom can get well enough to behave like a real mother. I doubt that AP reads these boards, but if by chance she does: I hope she sees that many people adore(d) her.
    Last edited by cruisin; 05-04-2010 at 08:29 PM.

  8. #28
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    I know somebody already quoted the wikipedia article where it said she was working on a Biology degree, but I thought it'd be nice to link to an article from Icenetwork dated December 2008.

    http://web.icenetwork.com/news/artic...&vkey=ice_news

    It sounds as if she's pretty happy now. I hope her mom and her have made peace.
    "Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility." - Ambrose Bierce

  9. #29

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    Okay, I just went on a cruise with Royal Caribbean (Liberty of the Seas) which happens to have an ice rink and ice shows. Well, guess who I saw skating at one of the shows? AP as gorgeous as ever. In the show, she had different supporting roles and she had the lead in Carmen. The theme of the ice show was musicals. The next day, I went to skate and she was there at the sign up sheet. Only after I skated, did I get enough nerve to say the most generic thing ever which was something like "It was great to see you skate again. I remember watching you at Nationals. You had such beautiful costumes,..." She told me she had been skating with RC since February and had 2 weeks left. I felt so nerdy talking to her that I didn't feel confident enough to ask her for a picture, but OMG she is beyond beautiful!!

  10. #30
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    her mon sound just like The skater mom from helll!

  11. #31
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    We could be commenting based on the perspective of a teenager who quitted the sport partly because of the mom.

    But 10 years from now, who knows? What might be a bad experience could also be something an adult, looking back, can draw strength from.

    I certainly had some bad experiences in my teens that I draw strength from.

    Sometimes I thought I hated something but I really didn't. I just hated the environment that created the bad feelings; and it took years for me to realize it and fall in love "again" (not that I ever felt out of love). AP could love skating again if it's just the pushing she hated.

    Just my 2c.

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