Getting rid of the "like"

[manhn]

My name is manhn and I abuse "no problem" instead of saying "you're welcome."

[Flatfoote]

I remember during the 08 Olympics, just about every USA woman's gymnast they interviewed started off the answer to every question with, "ummm, you know....." It drove me nuts!

[Nan]

I do this.
Even I am bothered by it.

my name is jamesy and I also abuse "like"

My name is manhn and I abuse "no problem" instead of saying "you're welcome."

Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward overcoming it.

[Karina1974]

I remember during the 08 Olympics, just about every USA woman's gymnast they interviewed started off the answer to every question with, "ummm, you know....." It drove me nuts!

Tara Lipinski used to have a habit during interviews where she would use the word "you" when she was really answering a question that was about her. I used to want to reach through my TV screen and just slap her every time she did that.

I hope she's gotten rid of that, seeing as how she is now a commentator.

[susan6]

I mean, if I were speaking to my boss, I'd leave out the "likes". But if I were, like, talking to, like, my sister? No biggie.

But, CAN you actually control it? Most people who use "like" every other word when talking to their friends also use it in all their conversations, with everyone. They've gotten subconsciously trained to use this word over and over again, and need serious practice to stop using it. Can you turn the fountain of "like" on and off? (If so....why would you ever turn it on? Have you LISTENED to yourself when you talk like this?)

To answer the original question....your daughter probably doesn't realize how many times she is using the word "like". You might recommend that she actually think about it or record her and count the "likes". It is pandemic in colleges, and they do "grow out of it" eventually, but the sooner she is made aware of it, the better.

[LisaS]

But, CAN you actually control it? Most people who use "like" every other word when talking to their friends also use it in all their conversations, with everyone. They've gotten subconsciously trained to use this word over and over again, and need serious practice to stop using it. Can you turn the fountain of "like" on and off? (If so....why would you ever turn it on? Have you LISTENED to yourself when you talk like this?)

I can turn swearing on and off. While I don't swear a lot, I definitely don't with my Parents or in certain situations at work but with my friends if I feel the need I let it go.

[LilJen]

I blame it all on the song "Valley Girl" by Frank Zappa. 1982. It started us all off on the "like" thing; drove our dad nuts!!

[jamesy]

Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward overcoming it.

It's, like, an addiction.

[Autumm_wind]

It's, like, an addiction.

Really?

[Rob]

Whatever....

My brother says "but, uh" or "but, er" instead of "um" and the first few times I hear it, I think he is asking for butter. He lives in Tahoe so I don't see him that often.

[barbk]

Back in the day, our car license plate was UMM 577, and whenever one of us said "um" within my dad's hearing, he'd shoot back "577", which was disruptive and annoying, but rather thoroughly cured me of that particular habit.

I guess that I'll try the recording method to let her hear, and then the tally method to track. I am, like, really annoyed that this problem has, like, you know, gotten, like, so bad, this like first year away from home. I don't think I could do that in speech even if I practiced.

And in my MBA program they videotaped you in an interview and in a presentation. One of my teammates had a habit of twirling her finger in her hair. On the order of 24 times in a fifteen minute interview. One showing of that videotape cured that particular problem -- she later told me her mom was ready to bake the professor a cake, and that this habit had driven her mom nuts since my friend was in high school.

[bobalina77]

I play with my hair too.. usually more when I'm tired or bored though. I've done it since I was a baby.

[LuckyCharm]

It's, like, an addiction.

Really?

Whatever....

Shut up!

[MOIJTO]

I say Ummm often, its a hard habit to break. Really taking time to think what you want to say rather than babble on and on and on tends to help, but when you are excited its hard.

[Aimless]

In Toastmasters, the public speaking club, we call these crutch words "audible pauses." That's a helpful term in and of itself. Silence is *ever* so much more powerful than these completely meaningless fill-in-the-gap utterances. Silence attracts the listener's attention and allows both the speaker and the listener to momentarily regroup and focus. The words that follow a silence, even a brief one, have much more importance and emphasis. Good speakers use silence to their considerable advantage.

I'd suggest (as did an earlier poster) that you count the number of these "likes" "ums" and/or "you know" phrases within a five minute period, and then tell the person how many there were. Do this a couple of times and see how it works. Or, make an unannounced brief recording of the person's speech and replay it for him or her. For most people, these crutch words are almost unconscious and so, almost inaudible and actually hard to control. But awareness is the first step.

[Rock2]

I'd suggest (as did an earlier poster) that you count the number of these "likes" "ums" and/or "you know" phrases within a five minute period, and then tell the person how many there were. Do this a couple of times and see how it works. Or, make an unannounced brief recording of the person's speech and replay it for him or her. For most people, these crutch words are almost unconscious and so, almost inaudible and actually hard to control. But awareness is the first step.

I'm not about using words/discussion to address a non-verbal issue

I'd just keep a spray bottle nearby and squirt the bugger on every offense.

[screech]

My dad made me aware of it when I was going through the 'like' phase and I started to notice it when I was doing it. He also told me that 'unless you are using a simile, or are stating that you are fond of something, you are using the word wrong.'

Ever since watching a particular episode of How I Met Your Mother recently, I've noticed that I say 'but, umm...' a lot. Still trying to work on that one.

[bobalina77]

I've noticed that I also say "Soooo, yeah.." a lot.

[Bostonfan]

Another irritant: the use of "Anyways".

[orbitz]

How about the use of "whatever"? It drives me nuts when I say something to someone and his/her response to me is "Whatever." I find it extremely rude.