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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by SHARPIE View Post
    A fillet steak and a good glass of red wine though... mmm
    Sharpie and I will be at the steakhouse with a lovely bottle of wine while you all are having tea and bitty bites. Go meat!
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  2. #62
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    IMO, we don't have enough information to determine if AW's sister has been thoughtless in planning this reunion. We do know that AW doesn't feel she can swing it financially. IMO, that's all that matters.

    If I were AussieWilly I would ask my sister the following:

    Must I order the $70 tea in order to sit with the group? Could I order something less expensive but still be seated with the reunion group? Or do I need to pay $70 to even get in the door?

  3. #63
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    The impression I am getting from this thread is not so much that Aussie Willy can or can't attend the tea despite the cost, it's that her sister doesn't know or hasn't considered AW's budgetary circumstances well enough to plan for something everyone can afford. Unless AW is able to address the situation with her sister, if it were me, I know I would feel pressured to go but guilty about spending precious money needed elsewhere, or excluded if I can't.

    It reminds me of a friend who, without asking me first, took it upon herself to buy a group birthday present for another friend, and then expected me to pay for part of it. I was really angry because it hijacked any chance for me to buy the birthday girl a gift of my own. Needless to say, there was a big to do, and I was the one who ended up apologizing

    As an arty - farty type, I found attending an afternoon tea myself, made no impression whatsoever. The experience was a bit snobby, and I felt totally out of place. I'd rather go on a picnic or to the local vegan restaurant for mud cake and a strawberry smoothie.

    .
    Last edited by essence_of_soy; 04-21-2010 at 12:31 AM.

  4. #64

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    Quote Originally Posted by Civic View Post
    Must I order the $70 tea in order to sit with the group? Could I order something less expensive but still be seated with the reunion group? Or do I need to pay $70 to even get in the door?
    Aussie Willie indicated yes, no and yes - there is no option but to pay the $70 fixed price.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michalle View Post
    I wouldn't spend $70 for "tea" if it was my last meal on earth. If you want to spend $70 for tea, go for it, but when arranging a small get-together for 6-7 people, be more considerate of what everyone's finances are. It wouldn't be surprising if some of the other people would rather go somewhere cheaper as well and just haven't said anything.
    That's exactly how I'd feel. Even if I wanted to spend that kind of a money on a tea, unless I knew for certain that everyone I was inviting was able and willing to spend that kind of money, I wouldn't plan such a pricey event. There have to be plenty of good, but less expensive alternatives.

    I have a friend who has lots of money and we go out together a lot. She knows I'm not willing to spend as much as she is and so we don't. I try to make a concession on my part by letting her at least choose the kind of food she likes and probably do spend a little more than I would like.

    On the bright side, Aussie Willy, if it were my sister, she either would have planned in a cheap dive bar or she would have planned it in a very expensive place and wanted me to pay for it.

  6. #66

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Maybe I misread the OP, but it seemed to me that the plans were already made and then AW was invited to come along. How those plans were drawn up and what input was given by other people is unknown here. It may be that the sister made the decision on her own without consideration for others; it may also be that that isn't the case. I don't think it's fair to the sister to assume that she is the bad guy here just because the plans are expensive.

    I don't know about anyone else, but I find it extremely annoying to make plans with other people and then have to change them after everything is settled because someone who was invited to come along doesn't like the group plan. Just say no; it's easier than making the rest of us start the negotiations over again.

    For me, $70 would be way too much and I'd turn it down without a second's hesitation. I'm still really good friends with a couple of people from elementary school; I'd spend $70 to have dinner with them. But to see some people I went to elementary school with, just to find out how they are doing after all these years? I might--only might--go for the Applebee's 2-for-$20 special.

    But that's me. And since I have no idea how close any of these people are (although I think it's clear AW isn't close to any of the others) or what they consider reasonable, I think it's safer to assume that AW's sister is acting in good faith here.
    No-one is the bad guy here. My sister has just organised an event that I consider is unaffordable for what I am prepared to spend money on. I am disappointed that unless it is something more affordable I won't be going. I think it is better to express those opinions here though than take anything out on my sister because that is not worth worth getting angry or upset with her about. Although I am surprised where the discussion has gone.

    What I could probably assume is that she has discussed it with a couple of others (because they were mentioned in the email) and they probably thought it was a good idea. So I might be the last one invited.

    To clarify (again) - they are not friends. They are people I went to school with many years ago.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  7. #67

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    My opinion is that anyone who thinks $70 for an afternoon tea is reasonable should be donating more to charity and spending a lot less money on trivial bullshit.

    Angelskates, you seem pretty judgmental of Aussie Willy's decision to invest $110 on a pair of work jeans she will doubtless wear for a year or more, so I have no trouble being just as judgmental of yourself who see's no problem spending $70 for an ephemeral afternoon tea. Let's break it down - If Aussie Willy wears those jeans twice a week for the next year they will have cost her about $1 per wear. My guess is that she'll likely wear them much more than that but I'm trying to be generous to you. The calories in those $70 cupcakes aren't going to provide Aussie Willy with any more energy than the calories in a $1 cheese sandwich and they cannot be re-used multiple times. If anyone's priorities are skewed, I'd suggest it is your own and not Aussie Willy's.

    I'll be having steak and vino with Sharpie and Rob and bet I can do it for under $30 and the company will be MUCH more stimulating.
    Last edited by uyeahu; 04-21-2010 at 04:51 AM.

  8. #68

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    The pants have been worn twice this week already so getting my money's worth already. Very comfortable (which is important at work).
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by uyeahu View Post
    My opinion is that anyone who thinks $70 for an afternoon tea is reasonable should be donating more to charity and spending a lot less money on trivial bullshit.

    Angelskates, you seem pretty judgmental of Aussie Willy's decision to invest $110 on a pair of work jeans she will doubtless wear for a year or more, so I have no trouble being just as judgmental of yourself who see's no problem spending $70 for an ephemeral afternoon tea. Let's break it down - If Aussie Willy wears those jeans twice a week for the next year they will have cost her about $1 per wear. My guess is that she'll likely wear them much more than that but I'm trying to be generous to you. The calories in those $70 cupcakes aren't going to provide Aussie Willy with any more energy than the calories in a $1 cheese sandwich and they cannot be re-used multiple times. If anyone's priorities are skewed, I'd suggest it is your own and not Aussie Willy's.

    I'll be having steak and vino with Sharpie and Rob and bet I can do it for under $30 and the company will be MUCH more stimulating.
    This is exactly how my bf calculates how trivial "saving" money by driving around to cheaper gas stations is (amongst other things that people sometimes irrationally do to save money). "So by driving out of your way to the cheaper gas station, you'd be saving $3 a month. Whoop dee doo."

  10. #70

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    Quote Originally Posted by uyeahu View Post
    My opinion is that anyone who thinks $70 for an afternoon tea is reasonable should be donating more to charity and spending a lot less money on trivial bullshit.
    I donate more than 60% of my income to charity (including tithe), I am lucky enough to live in a country where cost of living is low and I have a decent, albeit not salaried, income. I've never said anyone's priorities are skewed, or are right or wrong, I've merely said, everyone's are different. Who are you to tell me what is trivial bullshit? You can say what is trivial bullshit to you, but I shouldn't have to conform to that.

    Let's break down the $70 tea. If I only see those people once a year (and with many of my close friends and family in another country, once a year is the maximum), it's less than 20c a day for a great experience, which I will relive with photos, remember and enjoy for years to come, as will they. I wouldn't pay that for dinner with anyone (certainly not people I went to school with), but I most certainly would for some. Heck, I'd spend a lot shouting certain people so they could share the posh experience with me if they couldn't afford it, and I could and knew they'd enjoy it.

    My opinion is that anyone who tell others they need to be donating more to charity should get off their pedestals and STFU.

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    "So by driving out of your way to the cheaper gas station, you'd be saving $3 a month. Whoop dee doo."
    Do it for 2 years, and you can afford an afternoon tea

  12. #72

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    Quote Originally Posted by uyeahu View Post
    My opinion is that anyone who thinks $70 for an afternoon tea is reasonable should be donating more to charity and spending a lot less money on trivial bullshit.
    It is reasonable for some places to charge that much for afternoon tea and a worthwhile price for those who want the experience of a fancy afternoon tea. At one of the classier hotels here (the Empress in Victoria) I believe afternoon tea is about $100.00.

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by uyeahu View Post
    My opinion is that anyone who thinks $70 for an afternoon tea is reasonable should be donating more to charity and spending a lot less money on trivial bullshit.

    Angelskates, you seem pretty judgmental
    There seems to be a lot of that going around, don't you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    I think it is better to express those opinions here though than take anything out on my sister because that is not worth worth getting angry or upset with her about.
    But if you aren't angry or upset, why do you feel the need to post a thread about it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Angelskates View Post
    Let's break down the $70 tea. If I only see those people once a year (and with many of my close friends and family in another country, once a year is the maximum), it's less than 20c a day for a great experience, which I will relive with photos, remember and enjoy for years to come, as will they. I wouldn't pay that for dinner with anyone (certainly not people I went to school with), but I most certainly would for some.
    Yes, for me, it wouldn't be the cost of the tea so much as the fact that the tea would be too expensive for the circumstance. What if one of your old friends has grown up to be someone you don't want to spend two minutes with? And there you will be, having spent all that money to spend time with her. Like I said, Applebee's 2-for-$20 would suit me. But there are people with whom I know I would very much enjoy a $70 tea, and so it would be worth the expense just to have the experience with those particular people, even though I think $70 is pretty outrageous. And I would only want to do it if I were sure everyone could afford it, because it isn't fun to spend money you don't have.

    And yes, uyeahu, I donate to charity, too .
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  14. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Japanfan View Post
    It is reasonable for some places to charge that much for afternoon tea and a worthwhile price for those who want the experience of a fancy afternoon tea. At one of the classier hotels here (the Empress in Victoria) I believe afternoon tea is about $100.00.
    If that's CAN, then doesnt' that work out to about $70 US right now? More than the one Aussie Willy's talking about. When we get into the amount of overhead for the hotel (the nicer the venue, the more things cost, and again, it hit me these are more labor-intensive to prepare than a steak--steak houses make a lot of money because they charge for what are mostly fairly low-skill preparations--or the sous-vide nuking that goes on at chains) that can be pretty reasonable. It's not an amount I'd blink at for a high-end restaurant. Just becuase you call it "tea" and have to put more plate design into the food doesn't make it cheaper for the venue.

    And unless you're looking at someone's tax returns, the only person being judgemental is the one who sticks their nose in the air and says "If you can afford that you should be giving more to charity and not spending it on yourself." Seroiusly, I would love to make people who go around deeming how other people should spend their own money have to put THEIR money where their mouth is by giving all their after-tax income to charity. When you're Mother Theresa, you can act all holier-than-thou about how people spend what they earn. Until then, I'd keep quiet on the subject.

    Now, I wouldn't spend the roughly $53 US to go hang out with people I went to school with who are more friends of my brother than me. Which I think is closer to the objection. But then I wouldn't even bother with drinks at TGI Friday's in that scenario unless someone else is buying and I can get a free drink out it as I'm not especially interested in seeing old school people. When my two best friends in college came to visit me in DC while I was doing my junior-year internship, on the other hand, we DID go to afternoon tea at the Mayflower and had a great time. I don't honestly even remember what it cost at the time (somewhere in the $30-40/head range, I'm sure, and we all paid separately.) But I do remember we had a fantastic time and I'd happily do it again.

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    If that's CAN, then doesnt' that work out to about $70 US right now? More than the one Aussie Willy's talking about. .
    Live rates at 2010.04.21 15:45:28 UTC

    100.00 CAD = 100.059 USD

    100.00 CAD = 107.897 AUD
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  16. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    If that's CAN, then doesnt' that work out to about $70 US right now?
    The US and Canadian dollars are pretty much at par right now. As I said earlier in the thread, $70 Australian dollars is not out of line with hotel teas in other parts of the world if you consider that the price likely includes tax and gratuity, and if you account for the exchange rate.

    It would actually be interesting for the sake of this discussion, since there is so much focus on the price, to know which hotel we are talking about, and the actual price.

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post

    It would actually be interesting for the sake of this discussion, since there is so much focus on the price, to know which hotel we are talking about, and the actual price.
    This could be a fun game. I'll go first. Is it the Hotel Windsor?

    Monday - Friday: 2.30pm - 4.30pm
    $49 per person

    Saturday - Sunday (and selected Public Holidays): 12.00pm - 2.00pm and 2.30pm - 4.30pm
    $69 per person (includes an indulgent dessert buffet)
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  18. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by allezfred View Post
    This could be a fun game. I'll go first. Is it the Hotel Windsor?
    Could be - the price matches for the higher one, and even the lower priced one could be it if you add on tax and gratuities (often done automatically for groups).

    Personally, I was hoping it was The Langham - check out the name of their tea!!

    http://www.melbarestaurant.com.au/in...-afternoon-tea

  19. #79

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Could be - the price matches for the higher one, and even the lower priced one could be it if you add on tax and gratuities (often done automatically for groups).

    Personally, I was hoping it was The Langham - check out the name of their tea!!

    http://www.melbarestaurant.com.au/in...-afternoon-tea
    I SO want to go to the tiffin afternoon tea!!!

  20. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    I just got an email from my sister saying she is organising a bit of a reunion with people we went to primary school with and it will be an afternoon tea at a flash hotel. However it is really expensive (like $70 for just the afternoon tea).

    Nice thought, but unless it was something more affordable, I cannot afford to go and I have basically told her that. I am a disappointed though because I would have liked to catch up with the others who were going.

    I do have a choice to say no, but when it costs that much, I sometimes wish that the people organising would consider that others might not be as financially well off as what they are. Particularly when they are your family.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    ... Although I am surprised where the discussion has gone.....
    Given your first post, what direction did you think it would take?
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