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  1. #1

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    The Hackenthorpe Book of Figure Skating Lies

    Are you familiar with The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies by Monty Python? I just discovered some facts, I mean, lies, out of the unpublished book, The Hackenthorpe Book of Figure Skating Lies! Here they are! Can you find more? You can't prove that they aren't lies! Honest!

    Did you know that:

    Dick Button actually has a full head of shoulder-length hair? He wears a mostly-bald wig because ABC forced him to as part of his announcing contracts.

    Ottavio Cinquanta auditioned as an ice-dance partner for Carol Heiss (Jenkins)? Her father rejected the idea.

    The Protopopovs received 315 write-in votes for President/VP in the 1968 US Presidential Election? Her for Prez, him for VP. Most of the votes were from Vermont.

    Trixi Schuba could do a quad axel? She didn’t want to show off, so she left it out of her free program.

    John Curry owned 34,228 Old English Sheepdogs? All but two of them were in his home watching him on TV winning Gold in 1976.

    Lisa Marie Allen is six feet, eleven and three-quarter inches tall? She appeared shorter due to clever costume designing.

    Brian Boitano taught Civil Engineering at Cal Tech for the fall semester in 1989 and has a standing place should he wish to return?

    The reason Lu Chen almost didn’t qualify for Worlds one year was because she was on the Space Shuttle for 46 weeks and had no training ice?

    Barbara Fusar-Poli’s first husband was Larry King?

    Timothy Goebel is now playing Third Base for the St. Louis Cardinals?

    Fumie Suguri is in the Guinness Book of World Records for catching a 4,763 pound rainbow trout on a day off from Champions on Ice?

    Gregor Urbas has five toes on one foot and nine on the other? The extra toes are slender and line up perfectly, enabling him to wear ordinary shoes out of the box with no discomfort.

    Jeff Buttle is the Canadian Ambassador to Kazhakstan and has twice won the Pulitzer Prize for Biography?

    Yu-Na Kim loves Tim Horton’s Coffee so much that she drinks 28 cups before every meal?

  2. #2
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  3. #3

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    And did you know that:

    Bestemianova and Bukin never wore makeup in performance?

    Gary Beacom is the NDP premier of Alberta?

    Janet Lynn is a confirmed atheist?

    Beatrix Schuba's School Figures is the highest-rated performing arts broadcast in the history of US public television?

    Rex and slicekw are eleven-time US champions in ice dancing and, with Sparks and siouxdonym, thirteen-time Canadian champions in fours? The team's signature program is "Love's Theme", by Barry White & the Love Unlimited Orchestra.

    Japan has never sent a singles skater to compete at the Olympics before?

    A badger was President of the ISU from 1980 to 1994?

    Pierre Boulez is a tremendously outspoken fan of the sport?
    Last edited by falling_dance; 04-17-2010 at 06:43 PM.

  4. #4
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    Hmmm, how about some of my own:

    Kyra Ivanova was actually a wine-tasting expert and put in many, many hours of overtime.

    Surya Bonaly had breast-implants and was a contestant on America's Next Top Model.

    Maya Usova currently owns a Llama farm in Rhode Island where she spends her free time brushing their fur.

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    Did you know that?

    Ryan Jahnke owns the Ford Motor Company?

    Brian Joubert is the inventor of microfiber?

    Peggy Fleming appeared on 516 episodes of Leave It To Beaver between 1957 and 1963, always as a student in Beaver's class and never once speaking a line?

    Queen Elizabeth II has a huge crush on both members of the Duchesnays?

    Brian Orser is Archbishop of London, Ontario in the Roman Catholic Church?

    Torvill and Dean are actually fraternal twins fathered by Sean Connery?

    Takahiko Kozuka has five paintings hanging the The Louvre and is actually fifty-one years old? (He does his own makeup, proof of his great painting skill.)

    The Ped Egg and the Furminator were both invented by Elena Sokolova's cat?

    Alban Preaubert won the Eurovision song contest at the age of six months?

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    Quote Originally Posted by falling_dance View Post
    A badger was President of the ISU from 1980 to 1994?
    And much more popular than Speedy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by falling_dance View Post
    A badger was President of the ISU from 1980 to 1994?
    Boy, do I miss that badger!

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    Quote Originally Posted by SkateElectric View Post

    Maya Usova currently owns a Llama farm in Rhode Island where she spends her free time brushing their fur.

    Cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, cuidadoooooooooooo....hay llamas!

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    Rachael Flatt conducted an autopsy on Dick Buttons while he was still alive.

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    Dorothy Hamill is a gay male hiding underneath that wedge cut hair.

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    Michelle Kwan was once the goomar of the number 3 mafia leader of western Connecticut.

    Evan Lysacek was found in a forest at the age of 4 having been raised by squirrels.

    Peggy Fleming volunteered for two years with Mother Theresa.

    Elvis Stojko can hold three eggs in his mouth at one time.

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    Dorothy Hamill cuts her own hair by doing a super-fast spin in a "Charlotte" position with her head so close to the blade that it cuts her hair as she spins.

  13. #13

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    Todd Eldredge has his own brand of fish-flavored yogurt sold only in Brazil, with his picture on every container.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkateElectric View Post
    Maya Usova currently owns a Llama farm in Rhode Island where she spends her free time brushing their fur.
    Ahhh, the unforgettable experience of llama spit... (#machu_picchiu_memories)

    During his Harvard years, Dick Button was quite known for his jello shots.
    This was the best I could come up with

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mafke View Post
    Elvis Stojko can hold three eggs in his mouth at one time.
    He should never have take them out.
    Voidy Swan, Dirty Carmen, Perverted Moonlight Sonata. God I love figure skating!

  16. #16
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    Anne Patrice McDonough made her own costumes.

    Jill Trenary didn't have big hair. She actually trained two cats to bouffant on top of her head.

    Midori Ito was actually a male Bulgarian midget weightlifter.

    Caryn Kadavy actually won Worlds in 1987, but Katarina Witt refused to concede first place on the podium to her.

    Marjorie Chin carried a copy of Mommie Dearest around in her handbag for guidance.

    P J Kwong, known for her formidable multi - tasking broadcasting skills, is actually the Dionne quintuplets, but hasn't let on.

    Peggy Fleming is color - blind. Her favourite color isn't chartreuse, but burgundy.

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    Dick Button once considered a career as a professional juggler.

    Todd Eldridge sold insurance door to door to finance his skating.

    Sasha Cohen's family emigrated from Russia due to suspicions of being werewolves.

    Scott Hamilton once heavily invested in professional gnu ranching.

    Nancy Kerrigan appeared on four different episodes of Star Trek, the Next Generation! that were never aired.

    Kristi Yamaguchi's secret hobbies are knitting bowling ball covers and driving monster trucks.

    Michelle Kwan can sleep standing up and in fact once fell asleep on the podium and had to be nudged awake by the other medalists.

    Brian Joubert has a crippling fear of door handles.

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    Sinead Kerr has a most peculiar eating disorder: Only thing she eats is haggis.

  19. #19

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    Johnny Weir was conceived on Splash Mountain at Disney World?

    Debi Thomas performed a triple heart bypass operation on her coach during mens’s compulsory figures at the 1988 Winter Olympics?

    John Misha Petkevich is the only figure skater to win a World Ice Dance Silver Medal skating by himself?

    Scott Hamilton had a full scholarship to study Opera at Juilliard?

    Carolina Kostner can only speak French; she cannot speak Italian?

    Jamie Sale sang the lead vocal on the CD that Davis and White used for their Indian Original Dance?

    Dick Button was the official spokesmodel for Levi’s 501 Blues until 1997? He also has the zippers in all of his other trousers replaced with buttons.

    Kevin Van Der Perren soaks his feet in ketchup every night before he goes to bed?

    Dan Zhang and Hao Zhang are the official distributors of Omaha Steaks in China?

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    Rachael Flatt already has her Ph.D. in molecular biology. The media just doesn't mention it because no one would believe she got her doctorate in six weeks while practicing for nationals.

    Irina Slutskaya turned down Dick Button's invitation to skate pairs with him at the 2002 Olympics.
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club
    Old, lonely, pathos-hungry, and extremely gullible

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