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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafter View Post
    Bad spelling and grammar.

    A momma's boy would also be a dealbreaker.
    To the first the spelling is minor, grammar and the use of language quite different.

    But...what is a momma's boy?
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  2. #82
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    I agree there has to be a limit.. but I think it's easier to come to an understanding when your significant other has the same sort of relationship with their family.

    Mojito a momma's boy is a guy who runs to his mom everytime there is a problem and basically lets his mom run his life. My boyfriend is close to his mom (he would do anything for her) but she doesn't run his life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MOIJTO View Post
    To the first the spelling is minor, grammar and the use of language quite different.

    But...what is a momma's boy?
    To me bad spelling isn't "minor". It shows a lack of either: 1) education; 2) actual interest in proper use of the English language; 3) intelligence; or 4) all of the above.

    A momma's boy is someone who is coddled by their mother even in adulthood. A momma's boy usually can't make a move without running it by his mother first and getting her approval. He typically allows himself to be controlled by his mother and lets his mother run his life. One of my cousin's is a momma's boy. Coddled and babied to the extreme by my aunt. His poor wife.

  4. #84

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafter View Post
    To me bad spelling isn't "minor". It shows a lack of either: 1) education; 2) actual interest in proper use of the English language; 3) intelligence; or 4) all of the above.
    Or dyslexia?

  5. #85

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafter View Post

    A momma's boy is someone who is coddled by their mother even in adulthood. A momma's boy usually can't make a move without running it by his mother first and getting her approval. He typically allows himself to be controlled by his mother and lets his mother run his life. One of my cousin's is a momma's boy. Coddled and babied to the extreme by my aunt. His poor wife.
    They also tend to want their significant other to take care of them, which doesn't often fly these days. I know a mama's boy whose mom doesn't really control him, nor does he run anything by her before doing it. She does, however, still take care of him and insist he live at home until he buys a house instead of standing on his own two feet. (Though his father is part of this problem as well) He's gone through a few girlfriends who couldn't stand the thought of having to be his caretaker in life.

    His current girlfriend is vastly different and I hope it makes him grow up. She also looks like Rachael Flatt, which was vastly weird when talking to her.

    Quote Originally Posted by gkelly View Post
    Or dyslexia?
    Absolutely.

    Also, Microsoft Word kinda screwed a lot of people. What pressure is there to keep up your spelling skills when you don't have to? In my job interview years ago, they even said "don't worry about spelling. Word picks it up." I wouldn't be surprised if many folks can't spell quite the way they used to. I know my spelling isn't exactly excellent.
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  6. #86
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    I am a much better speller than my brother, who was three grades behind me, for one reason: Phonics. When they got rid of that program at my school, the spelling skills of the grades who missed out on it dropped significantly. I don't know what programs are in place now, but my parents and my friends' parents used to discuss the difference this made with their younger kids all the time. My brother is intelligent, has a great job as a web developer, has worked for a high-profile computer company, and actually does have quite strong grammar skills. But spelling is a struggle for him because he wasn't given the right tools when he was younger.

    I prefer someone who has strong writing skills, but don't demand perfection. I have a high standard for myself, but don't expect the same of everyone. That said...if a guy has great difficulty putting a simple coherent sentence together, I definitely consider it a turn-off.

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    I'd also be more forgiving of spelling in English from someone who learned it as an adult, as a third language.

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafter View Post
    To me bad spelling isn't "minor". It shows a lack of either: 1) education; 2) actual interest in proper use of the English language; 3) intelligence; or 4) all of the above.
    My ex-bf is a terrible speller but he's completely the opposite of everything you've listed. He's just a bad speller with bad memory, so he can't remember the proper spelling of things. He gets away with it in the workplace (where he makes good money) because of spellcheck. In the big scheme of things it doesn't matter, since he's a good communicator besides the spelling. Much prefer better communication over better spelling, if you're going to have one but not both.

    It was hilarious when he made fun of someone's perceived bad spelling (which was actually correct) by using "genious." Twice, months apart. I have a good memory so I recalled the first time it happened, and had a jolly good .

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafter View Post
    To me bad spelling isn't "minor".
    How do you feel about improper use of plurals vs. possessives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andora View Post
    Also, Microsoft Word kinda screwed a lot of people. What pressure is there to keep up your spelling skills when you don't have to? In my job interview years ago, they even said "don't worry about spelling. Word picks it up."
    Word does not pick it up . Word is pretty good at picking up typos, but isn't all that great at picking up spelling errors and does an absolutely lousy job of picking up grammar errors.

    It drives me crazy when people think they don't need to check spelling any more because Word will catch it.

    Quote Originally Posted by luna_skater View Post
    I am a much better speller than my brother, who was three grades behind me, for one reason: Phonics. When they got rid of that program at my school, the spelling skills of the grades who missed out on it dropped significantly. I don't know what programs are in place now, but my parents and my friends' parents used to discuss the difference this made with their younger kids all the time. My brother is intelligent, has a great job as a web developer, has worked for a high-profile computer company, and actually does have quite strong grammar skills. But spelling is a struggle for him because he wasn't given the right tools when he was younger.
    One of the reasons phonics was tossed out for a few years is that phonics has limited application in the English language and is not an effective method for a significant percentage of the population. It works for many, but does not work for all. The ability to spell well is a complex neurological function; most schools now recognize this and teach spelling and reading from several approaches, including but not limited to phonics. It is quite possible to have good phonics skills and poor spelling.
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    One of the reasons phonics was tossed out for a few years is that phonics has limited application in the Engish language and is not an effective method for a significant percentage of the population. It works for many, but does not work for all. The ability to spell well is a complex neurological function; most schools now recognize this and teach spelling and reading from several approaches, including but not limited to phonics. It is quite possible to have good phonics skills and poor spelling.
    I'm not sure if phonics was used in the schools when I learned to read. Actually, I learned to read before I started school, so I don't really know HOW I learned to read or spell correctly. I do know that spelling now seems to involve visual perception as much as anything, because when I'm proofreading something, the misspelled words seem to jump out of text that I am quickly scanning. (Now that I think about it, proofreading really isn't the same skill as spelling.) MS Word's spellcheck can lead to some pretty strange substitutions/suggestions if one isn't careful and is totally useless when it comes to homonyms.

  11. #91

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Word does not pick it up . Word is pretty good at picking up typos, but isn't all that great at picking up spelling errors and does an absolutely lousy job of picking up grammar errors.

    It drives me crazy when people think they don't need to check spelling any more because Word will catch it.
    Well, right or wrong, I do know a lot of people have let their spelling go to pot thanks to word. At work, we sometimes have to knock shows out really quickly, but I was still surprised to hear it in the job interview that typos didn't matter. When I'd done a typing test at a head hunter, typos absolutely mattered, and slowed my typing speed down considerably, which is understandable.

    I don't know anyone who's ever thought Word was useful for grammar. Even my engineering friend who uses text speak in email.
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    Your true nature calling" -- Jane's Addiction

  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andora View Post
    I don't know anyone who's ever thought Word was useful for grammar. Even my engineering friend who uses text speak in email.
    Teach a few composition classes; you'll hear that and more.
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

  13. #93

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Teach a few composition classes; you'll hear that and more.
    Well, that's unfortunate.

    And, I'm sure, on someone's list as to what makes a guy undateable.
    "How you treat the weak is
    Your true nature calling" -- Jane's Addiction

  14. #94

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    I can add an other 50 to this.
    Ones who are emo (or moody)
    guys who live with their Mom's past the age of 21
    guys who have been divorced more then 1 time
    guys that are into drama (cya)
    no sense of humor
    any guy who still wear polyester

  15. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by mysticchic View Post
    I can add an other 50 to this.
    Ones who are emo (or moody)
    guys who live with their Mom's past the age of 21
    guys who have been divorced more then 1 time
    guys that are into drama (cya)
    no sense of humor
    any guy who still wear polyester
    Well, you can send me the moody guys, I have to forgive the twice-divorced because I am too, and I have a high tolerance for drama.

    Polyester is a dealkiller, though. And so are grammatical and spelling errors. Internet-dating guys who send me misspelled emails, or who misspell or otherwise screw up their written profiles -- no chance. I'm a words woman and I'll put up with a lot of flaws, but not carelessness with language.
    "Youth and vigor is no match for age and deceit." -- Prancer

  16. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by mysticchic View Post
    guys who live with their Mom's past the age of 21
    There are a lot of good reasons why a guy > 21 might be living at home. He went back to school/ grad school and lives at home to save money. He temporarily moved back home to save a down payment for a home, etc.

  17. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by orbitz View Post
    There are a lot of good reasons why a guy > 21 might be living at home. He went back to school/ grad school and lives at home to save money. He temporarily moved back home to save a down payment for a home, etc.
    And to add to that, most guys don't even have a four year college degree before age twenty-two.

  18. #98

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    Quote Originally Posted by RockTheTassel View Post
    And to add to that, most guys don't even have a four year college degree before age twenty-two.
    I agree, 21 is too young. But if they're perfectly happy at home still at 25 with no solid plan to leave, I'd be a bit concerned. It's no deal breaker (well, it is for me, but because of personal experience), but still.

    If they're there at 30 with no decent explanation, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. This seems to be epidemic in my city, though. I get the affordability thing, but sometimes it's hard to fully grow up without getting out. I could be wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if this is especially true with men.

    But, again, it's all down to personal preference, and whatever the deal is with each guy.

  19. #99
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    My guy still lives at home, but is going to school and working as well.

  20. #100

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    How do you feel about improper use of plurals vs. possessives?
    You got me. Cousin's. Oops. My bad. I should have proofread my post before hitting submit. I'm embarrassed to have made that mistake.

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