What makes a Guy Undateable?

[Flatfoote]

How so? I understand it being a dealbreaker for you, but exactly what does it say about one's character?

Anita18 had a good answer a few posts up. I was thinking in terms of those who see animals as nasty dirty little things that need to be kept out of the house. Or as something that isn't a living breathing thing that should be treated with respect.

Those who just can't connect with an animal, or has a fear of them, I can undestand. That doesn't reflect on character then. But I still couldn't see myself with anyone who didn't love animals as much as I do.

[orbitz]

But I still couldn't see myself with anyone who didn't love animals as much as I do.

Well there's loving animals and then there's LURVING animals, LOL. I don't think I can deal with people who insist on treating their dogs or cats as if they're their children.

[Erin]

Wow! A deal - breaker for me would be someone who had the nerve to correct my spelling and my grammar in emails. How arrogant.

Perhaps she just meant that she corrects it before she reads it herself, not that she responds to it with full corrections.

No, I actually corrected it on the e-mail back to him, but it was only on the most egregious errors, and it was because he asked me to do so.

[Dave of the North]

When does the book "What Makes a Girl Undateable" come out?

(Reason 1 - she has a copy of "What Makes a Guy Undateable" and takes it along on the first date...)

[gkelly]

One person's dealmaker is another one's dealbreaker.

Exactly. It's kind of silly for someone to compile such a list and imply that they speak for all women.

[orbitz]

Have you look through the content of the book? It's a comedic book along the lines of "101 Things To Do With a Dead Cat" or "Your MIL is like a Train Wreck Because ...", etc. I can't believe anyone looking at the book and its content would think that someone is trying to make up a valid list that all women should adhere to. It's meant as a joke; Nothing more.

[essence_of_soy]

No, I actually corrected it on the e-mail back to him, but it was only on the most egregious errors, and it was because he asked me to do so.

Do you cut up his food for him as well?

[essence_of_soy]

When does the book "What Makes a Girl Undateable" come out?

(Reason 1 - she has a copy of "What Makes a Guy Undateable" and takes it along on the first date...)

[Hedwig]

Do you cut up his food for him as well?

What is your problem with this? He asked her to correct his mistakes and she did it and both won.

I think it is great that he asked her as it shows a willingness to still learn and also trust as lots of people don't dare to ask others for help.

[Anita18]

Do you cut up his food for him as well?

I overheard the grad student calling her husband a day before he was to attend a fancy-schmancy luncheon. Her questions went, "Do you have your belt? Did you find your shoes? Did you try on the pants I bought you on Monday?"

Apparently he hadn't yet, so he put her on speakerphone while he tried on the pants.

[essence_of_soy]

I overheard the grad student calling her husband a day before he was to attend a fancy-schmancy luncheon. Her questions went, "Do you have your belt? Did you find your shoes? Did you try on the pants I bought you on Monday?"

Apparently he hadn't yet, so he put her on speakerphone while he tried on the pants.

I wish this message board had a 'high - five' emoticon, Anita! You're awesome.

[essence_of_soy]

What is your problem with this? He asked her to correct his mistakes and she did it and both won.

I think it is great that he asked her as it shows a willingness to still learn and also trust as lots of people don't dare to ask others for help.

I get this, but I'd still be checking his head for thumb prints, though.

[Anita18]

I wish this message board had a 'high - five' emoticon, Anita! You're awesome.

I didn't do anything! I did note the convo to said grad student later, and she said that being married was like being a mother. He drives her around and randomly writes her limericks (he had an AWESOME one for our field of study, DNA repair), so I guess it's a good trade-off.

Actually I did wonder if I needed to do the same thing to my bf, since we were going to attend a wedding the next week. But then I figured that since my bf had a real job (vs being a grad student who sat around playing Xbox all day), that he would have something relatively nice to wear.

[fenway2]

I find the older I get, the less patience I have for cynicism. It feels very...immature. Like some 18-year-old college freshman striving to be Holden Caulfield. I just don't want to date some guy who thinks everything is a lost cause. I think there's something charming & romantic about hopeful optimism. Of course he has to be a realist too...I don't want anyone who's going to bury their head in the sand anytime something goes wrong. It's a difficult balance but it's one I find important.

[Dave of the North]

I overheard the grad student calling her husband a day before he was to attend a fancy-schmancy luncheon. Her questions went, "Do you have your belt? Did you find your shoes? Did you try on the pants I bought you on Monday?"

Apparently he hadn't yet, so he put her on speakerphone while he tried on the pants.

I belong to an organization that has semi-annual conferences with dinners etc. One year they had a head table, but did not seat the spouses at the head table. The wife of one of the higher-ups went ballistic because she wouldn't be at the head table. She said that she needed to be next to her husband because she would prompt him on when to speak, what to say to whom, pass him notes on what to do, etc etc. I can't remember if she escorted him to and from the washroom. This guy was a Colonel in the US military...

[essence_of_soy]

I belong to an organization that has semi-annual conferences with dinners etc. One year they had a head table, but did not seat the spouses at the head table. The wife of one of the higher-ups went ballistic because she wouldn't be at the head table. She said that she needed to be next to her husband because she would prompt him on when to speak, what to say to whom, pass him notes on what to do, etc etc. I can't remember if she escorted him to and from the washroom. This guy was a Colonel in the US military...

Haha....your description of her reminds me of Madeline Kahn's brilliant turn in What's Up Doc as Eunice Burns. I'll see if I can dig up a clip of her somewhere on youtube.

[Prancer]

I didn't do anything! I did note the convo to said grad student later, and she said that being married was like being a mother.

Sometimes being married is like being a mom (and all things clothing would surely be a personal example for me) and sometimes it's like having a dad. Or in my case, it's kind of like having my mom back, only she's a lot bigger than I remember and seems to have developed a square jaw. She sure says some of the same things, though.

[jenny12]

Pulselessness.

But that's just me.

Me too!

Oh, but I do have some standards: I could never date a guy who smacks his lips when eating. How am I supposed to enjoy my food?!

[MOIJTO]

When does the book "What Makes a Girl Undateable" come out?

(Reason 1 - she has a copy of "What Makes a Guy Undateable" and takes it along on the first date...)

Pretty much the same rules apply to men as women in the undateable dept. But I would add gold digger to the ladies list.

[danceronice]

I read this in I think a business magazine for a fool-proof way to tell someone's character, and it's the only thing I've found to be 100% accurate: how someone treats waitstaff. It's not the be-all and end-all, but after I read that, I noticed a lot of the people I didn't like/think much of were really lousy with waitstaff, i.e., over-the-top demands, not tipping, overly complicated orders just to prove who's in charge, flirting/trying to be funny (like a waitperson hasn't heard them all by his first week anyway). Or on the other other extreme, people that are too indecisive or get nervous when making an order or keep asking, well, what do you think? what would you order?

This! How someone treats service personnel is a HUGE clue to their personality, whether they're being rude jerks or going overboard to be egalitarian or buddy-buddy. (Be polite and let them do their jobs without making it harder.)

I don't date: The Activist, unless it's something I don't think isn't worth getting excited about (which is a very, very, VERY short list) AND he's capable of leaving it at the office, someone who doesn't like animals (they were here first), lots of jewelry and tattoos (I don't have tats or wear much jewelry, either), someone who's looking for a mommy and is emotionally needy, someone who has a problem with my having male friends (control freak!), someone who dresses sloppily (I even do SPORTS where you have to dress neatly!)

If he wants to show up for a formal event in formal Scottish dress kilt instead of a tux, though, by all means (as long as it's actually culturally appropriate for him to do so--it gets a bit silly when "My great-great grandfather probably emigrated from Scotland and his name was McLaren so I can wear a kilt!" He's then probably one of those tourists who goes to Scotland and expects it to look like Braveheart. Don't appropriate tartans.) And hey, whatever culture, if he's got the legs to carry off a UtiliKilt http://www.utilikilts.com/ more power to him!

No alcoholism, no drugs, no smoking (YMMV and I have met smokers where if you didn't see them light up, you couldn't tell), no stalking, no setting animals on fire for fun...that's to me all just common sense. Unless you're Bella from "Twilight" who wants a stalker control freak with boundary and self-control issues?