But I don't want a natural birth- I hate being in pain and do not handle it well. However, I don't think I can mentally handle an epidural. When I broke my neck I was fully (but thank God, temporarily) paraylzed. Since then, even waking up with my arm 'asleep' can upset me so much that I can't function that day. I can't imagine how I'd react to not being able to feel my lower body for an extended period of time, so I don't think an epidural is an option for me. They'd end up having to treat me for panic attcks rather than getting me to deliver a baby... Since DH doesn't want a kid, it's moot I think it is actually okay that I have these issues, because sometimes I really do want kids, and having so many worries and fears makes it easier for me to accept DH's decision. If i didn't have any reservations, I think it would be really difficult, because while he's said if I want him, he'll deal with it, you can't compromise on kids- it's an all or nothing.