What makes a Guy Undateable?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by mmscfdcsu, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. Karina1974

    Karina1974 Well-Known Member

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    I've got another one for this list: guys who speed, weave in and out of traffic, and tail gate when they are driving. I guess that could go under #6, because IMO anyone who would behave like that obviously thinks his having to "get places" comes first over everyone else's.

    As for the rest of the list in that list... GMAFB. I know someone is is 69 years old and would look hot in a Speedo because he has the body for it, and he wears a gold necklace (which really sets off his "cafe con leche" complexion), and the reason he could wear a Speedo is because he eats stuff like salads, works out (martial arts) and takes very good care of himself. He turns 70 in 10 months and looks about 50, and he's no "wrinkled-up old fuddy duddy" either. He works as a DJ, so he is hip to what's hot on the music charts. If he was about 15 years younger and wasn't already living with someone, I'd go out with him myself.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2010
  2. bobalina77

    bobalina77 Duck Hunter

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    Yes.. the one understanding we do have is that I WILL not pick up smokes for him even if I'm going to the store anyway and he gives me money for them. Ain't gonna happen.. I'm not gonna make it easy for him to get them :lol: He responded to that by saying "well I won't pick up tampons for you then.." and I was like "First of all.. not the same thing. Second of all.. I would never ask you to." :lol:
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2010
  3. Matryeshka

    Matryeshka Well-Known Member

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    I read this in I think a business magazine for a fool-proof way to tell someone's character, and it's the only thing I've found to be 100% accurate: how someone treats waitstaff. It's not the be-all and end-all, but after I read that, I noticed a lot of the people I didn't like/think much of were really lousy with waitstaff, i.e., over-the-top demands, not tipping, overly complicated orders just to prove who's in charge, flirting/trying to be funny (like a waitperson hasn't heard them all by his first week anyway). Or on the other other extreme, people that are too indecisive or get nervous when making an order or keep asking, well, what do you think? what would you order?

    My older brother's the undertipper overdemanding one. Seeing him in a restaurant is like a microhistory of all his character faults.
     
  4. bobalina77

    bobalina77 Duck Hunter

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    It bothers me when someone doesn't acknowledge and say thank you to the waitperson when they bring the food. I just do it automatically because it's how I was raised. Someone does something for you, you say thank you. Even if one of my nieces does something I ask them to do I say thank you to them as well.. even if it's just asking them to be a little quieter :lol:
     
  5. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    Yes, but upon whom is the joke?

    That's a pretty good one.

    I'd also look at how a person treats immediate family. That's usually a pretty good indicator of how a longterm partner ends up being treated, too.
     
  6. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    Wow! A deal - breaker for me would be someone who had the nerve to correct my spelling and my grammar in emails. How arrogant.

    You're my significant, not my flipping teacher.
     
  7. silverstars

    silverstars New Member

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    I agree with a bunch of these things, but a few are pretty stupid. My boyfriend wears a ring (his father died a few years ago and it was his), and I'm not about to break up with him over that.

    I agree that the best way to figure out a person's true character is 1) how they treat waiters/cashiers/etc and 2) how they treat their family. I've had guys go out of the way to be polite to me, my roommates (who are basically my family), and my actual family members, but then be horrifically rude to people whom they viewed as "below" them. To me, that's pretty disgusting and definitely a deal-breaker.

    On a more superficial note, my friends and I have a (there for laughs...most of the time) no-Ed Hardy shirts rule. We're all in our early twenties, and as far as our collective experience goes, nothing good ever came in a skull-embellished, rhinestone-studded black t-shirt.
     
  8. RockTheTassel

    RockTheTassel Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps she just meant that she corrects it before she reads it herself, not that she responds to it with full corrections. I sometimes do that when I read emails with a lot of netspeak. There's nothing arrogant about it.
     
  9. genegri

    genegri Active Member

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    Nothing on that list by itself is a deal-breaker for me. But if a guy has more than say 5 of them, then they may collectively become a deal-breaker. :lol:

    I too ustry to figure out someone's charactor from the way they treat waitingstaff. I find it to work one way only though. The few people I know who treat waitingstaff rudely are indeed jerks. However, I also know people who are polite to waitingstaff but they may not be nice or even decent otherwise. And I know a guy who is actually very nice and professional at work and he treats waitingstaff very professionally as well, but at home he is a domestic abuser. :eek:

    There was this guy I dated before DH. He had a lot of vile things to say about his ex and I was an angel in comparison. He was very stingy to his friends and had disrespectful comments towards other girls' we both knew. He would not even help out his own parents in need. He treated me very well though, but I still didn't feel comfortable. It didn't last.

    Then I met DH who would mention his ex in a matter-of-fact way, nothing vile. And he was always more than willing to help his other female friends (and male friends too). I liked that. I thought if a guy treated me much better than the next girl, it meant that he loved me very much and I would be very flattered. But if a guy was nice to everyone, it would mean he was a nice guy. Love changes but charactors don't. I married DH and he turned out every bit as I expected. Kind and caring.

    In a way I got lucky. My naive way of telling which guy was nice happend to work out. But it was also very possible DH turned out to be a phony or a flirt or someone who has boundaries issues with other females. So I would not say my way was the best way to judge. But I think the principle I was going after has merit: Instead of looking for someone who loves you and you only, go for someone who by nature is a loving person.
     
  10. PeterG

    PeterG Argle-Bargle-ist

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    Pulselessness.

    But that's just me.

    :)
     
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  11. Flatfoote

    Flatfoote Active Member

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    Anita18 had a good answer a few posts up. I was thinking in terms of those who see animals as nasty dirty little things that need to be kept out of the house. Or as something that isn't a living breathing thing that should be treated with respect.

    Those who just can't connect with an animal, or has a fear of them, I can undestand. That doesn't reflect on character then. But I still couldn't see myself with anyone who didn't love animals as much as I do.
     
  12. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    Well there's loving animals and then there's LURVING animals, LOL. I don't think I can deal with people who insist on treating their dogs or cats as if they're their children.
     
  13. Erin

    Erin Well-Known Member

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    No, I actually corrected it on the e-mail back to him, but it was only on the most egregious errors, and it was because he asked me to do so.
     
  14. Dave of the North

    Dave of the North Well-Known Member

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    When does the book "What Makes a Girl Undateable" come out?

    (Reason 1 - she has a copy of "What Makes a Guy Undateable" and takes it along on the first date...:p)
     
  15. gkelly

    gkelly Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. It's kind of silly for someone to compile such a list and imply that they speak for all women.
     
  16. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    Have you look through the content of the book? It's a comedic book along the lines of "101 Things To Do With a Dead Cat" or "Your MIL is like a Train Wreck Because ...", etc. I can't believe anyone looking at the book and its content would think that someone is trying to make up a valid list that all women should adhere to. It's meant as a joke; Nothing more.
     
  17. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    Do you cut up his food for him as well? :(
     
  18. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    :respec:
     
  19. Hedwig

    Hedwig Rarely here anymore but I try to be better!

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    What is your problem with this? :confused: He asked her to correct his mistakes and she did it and both won.

    I think it is great that he asked her as it shows a willingness to still learn and also trust as lots of people don't dare to ask others for help.
     
  20. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    I overheard the grad student calling her husband a day before he was to attend a fancy-schmancy luncheon. Her questions went, "Do you have your belt? Did you find your shoes? Did you try on the pants I bought you on Monday?"

    Apparently he hadn't yet, so he put her on speakerphone while he tried on the pants. :rofl:
     
  21. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    I wish this message board had a 'high - five' emoticon, Anita! You're awesome.
     
  22. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    I get this, but I'd still be checking his head for thumb prints, though.
     
  23. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    I didn't do anything! I did note the convo to said grad student later, and she said that being married was like being a mother. :lol: He drives her around and randomly writes her limericks (he had an AWESOME one for our field of study, DNA repair), so I guess it's a good trade-off.

    Actually I did wonder if I needed to do the same thing to my bf, since we were going to attend a wedding the next week. But then I figured that since my bf had a real job (vs being a grad student who sat around playing Xbox all day), that he would have something relatively nice to wear. :rofl:
     
  24. fenway2

    fenway2 Well-Known Member

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    I find the older I get, the less patience I have for cynicism. It feels very...immature. Like some 18-year-old college freshman striving to be Holden Caulfield. I just don't want to date some guy who thinks everything is a lost cause. I think there's something charming & romantic about hopeful optimism. Of course he has to be a realist too...I don't want anyone who's going to bury their head in the sand anytime something goes wrong. It's a difficult balance but it's one I find important.
     
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  25. Dave of the North

    Dave of the North Well-Known Member

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    I belong to an organization that has semi-annual conferences with dinners etc. One year they had a head table, but did not seat the spouses at the head table. The wife of one of the higher-ups went ballistic because she wouldn't be at the head table. She said that she needed to be next to her husband because she would prompt him on when to speak, what to say to whom, pass him notes on what to do, etc etc. I can't remember if she escorted him to and from the washroom.:p This guy was a Colonel in the US military...
     
  26. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    Haha....your description of her reminds me of Madeline Kahn's brilliant turn in What's Up Doc as Eunice Burns. I'll see if I can dig up a clip of her somewhere on youtube.
     
  27. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    Sometimes being married is like being a mom (and all things clothing would surely be a personal example for me) and sometimes it's like having a dad. Or in my case, it's kind of like having my mom back, only she's a lot bigger than I remember and seems to have developed a square jaw. She sure says some of the same things, though.
     
  28. jenny12

    jenny12 Well-Known Member

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    :D Me too!

    Oh, but I do have some standards: I could never date a guy who smacks his lips when eating. How am I supposed to enjoy my food?!
     
  29. MOIJTO

    MOIJTO Banned Member

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    :lol: Pretty much the same rules apply to men as women in the undateable dept. But I would add gold digger to the ladies list.
     
  30. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    This! How someone treats service personnel is a HUGE clue to their personality, whether they're being rude jerks or going overboard to be egalitarian or buddy-buddy. (Be polite and let them do their jobs without making it harder.)

    I don't date: The Activist, unless it's something I don't think isn't worth getting excited about (which is a very, very, VERY short list) AND he's capable of leaving it at the office, someone who doesn't like animals (they were here first), lots of jewelry and tattoos (I don't have tats or wear much jewelry, either), someone who's looking for a mommy and is emotionally needy, someone who has a problem with my having male friends (control freak!), someone who dresses sloppily (I even do SPORTS where you have to dress neatly!)

    If he wants to show up for a formal event in formal Scottish dress kilt instead of a tux, though, by all means (as long as it's actually culturally appropriate for him to do so--it gets a bit silly when "My great-great grandfather probably emigrated from Scotland and his name was McLaren so I can wear a kilt!" He's then probably one of those tourists who goes to Scotland and expects it to look like Braveheart. Don't appropriate tartans.) And hey, whatever culture, if he's got the legs to carry off a UtiliKilt http://www.utilikilts.com/ more power to him!

    No alcoholism, no drugs, no smoking (YMMV and I have met smokers where if you didn't see them light up, you couldn't tell), no stalking, no setting animals on fire for fun...that's to me all just common sense. Unless you're Bella from "Twilight" who wants a stalker control freak with boundary and self-control issues?