What commentators say....and what they really mean.

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by essence_of_soy, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    • She owned the competition (Everyone else fell six times)
    • His skating is so solid this year. (Somebody's second home is the drive through at KFC)
    • She has been working with a new coach this year. (Her last cheque to Tarasova bounced)
    • They have the strongest lifts in the business (He can't jump for shit)
    • This performance pays homage to the best of dance. (God help them when Torvill and Dean find out they stole Bolero).
    • Wow. That's five triples in the first minute. (No wonder he front loads programs with that pack a day habit).
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2011
  2. pinky166

    pinky166 Well-Known Member

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    She's matured/Her skating has become more artistic. (Said skater has gained a lot of weight and it's probably hurt her jumping).
     
  3. emason

    emason Well-Known Member

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    This is an interesting departure for him/her/them. (Dear God, what are the coach and choreographer thinking.)
     
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  4. caseyedwards

    caseyedwards Well-Known Member

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    I think "tight" means underrotated and "conservative" means they shouldn't have won (if they did).
     
  5. aliceanne

    aliceanne Well-Known Member

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    Good for him/her! (It'll never happen again)

    He's an artist (he can't jump)

    He has a masculine style (no grace or flow)

    That program/costume/music is age appropriate (she's 16 but she looks 10)

    A real showman (WTF was that?)
     
  6. pinky166

    pinky166 Well-Known Member

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    That performance was well below his/her potential (That was an absolute trainwreck of a skate)
     
  7. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    S/he really wanted that landing (I can't believe that wasn't a butt fall).
     
  8. hydro

    hydro Well-Known Member

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    He is usually so consistent (I know him personally and like him so I won't say anything bad -- or he's skated for SOI)
     
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  9. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    "He/she/they have so many wonderful qualities..." =
    "Tonight, he/she/they SUCKED!"

    "Coached by Nikolai Morozov" = "Poor skater is brainwashed."

    "Who does she remind you of?" = "Don't you wish the one this skater reminds you of were skating instead?"

    "Their program tells the story of..." = "This is just weird and you're gonna hate it."

    "Our final skater..." = "We chacked somebody who skated a lot better than someone else you saw."

    At a Disson show: "Blanky blank is here!" = "Be glad you are here in person, because on TV they're gonna show 80% Blanky blank and 20% skating.":
     
  10. Mafke

    Mafke New Member

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    Pure win.
     
  11. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

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    "I found the costumes rather distracting" (The costumes were shit).
    "Hmmm that was an interesting approach to interpretation" (Yep still was shit)

    On the other hand

    Nicky Slater - "I loved it" (I loved it)
     
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  12. vodkashot

    vodkashot Active Member

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    "He/she is sooooo well-trained and is such a hard worker" (I'm trying to say something nice about this skater even though his/her skating is crap)
     
  13. sequins

    sequins Active Member

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    'I found some of their lifts were not very aesthetically pleasing'=( The world is staring at your crotch)
     
  14. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

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    "Ooo that was risky" (He nearly dropped her on her head)
     
  15. neptune

    neptune Well-Known Member

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    "She is a skater's skater." (Girlfriend isn't truly outstanding at anything in particular.)

    "He definitely knows how to work a crowd." (Stick a fork in him--he's done!!!)

    "She has such a lyrical quality about her." (What a sissy--just put on a GFB and let's be done with it!)

    "The choreography of his program could be a bit more complex." (That doofus couldn't even land a single jump if he had an ounce of choreography.)

    "Including that element might not have been a wise move." (As Judge Judy would say, You're an idiot!!!!)

    "She has a very matoor look." (I'm gonna wash that gray right out of her hair!!!)

    "This program has a lot of depth." (Wake me up, before you go-go.)

    "Those are pretty moves." (Perhaps she should consider a career in fashion merchandising instead.)
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2011
  16. MrSatterwhite

    MrSatterwhite Barely-Known Member

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    "She's so talented (she'll never crack the top ten) and is really improving every season (but still won't crack the top ten)
     
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  17. skategal

    skategal Bunny slave

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    Their pair skills are outstanding = their singles skills suck

    His/Her greatest strength is that they have no weaknesses = this skater is boring as heck
     
  18. smarts1

    smarts1 Well-Known Member

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    You want good things to happen to good people. (Ugh Scott)... (You've failed a trillion times in the past, but finally you did something great for once.)
     
  19. professordeb

    professordeb Well-Known Member

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    This topic is sooooo good! Thanks all, I needed the chuckles all of you are providing.
    Please, carry on!
     
  20. PUNKPRINCESS

    PUNKPRINCESS New Member

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    hah. Throw in "He/she is such a tough competitor." I find these phrases generally mean "lots of effort, but not a whole lot of talent."

    Similarly, "this is a very ambitious program" = skater's likely not going to pull it off.

    Oooh. Au contraire, I tend to love skaters who are described as a "skater's skater." e.g. Michelle Kwan, Yuka Sato.

    "skater's skater" = the things between the jumps are awesome
     
  21. neptune

    neptune Well-Known Member

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    Definitely. :watch: I never eat popcorn while a skater is actually jumping, but then when I do, it's pretty awesome. ;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2011
  22. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

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    "They were certainly running out of gas towards the end" (Where was the oxygen tank?)
     
  23. RumbleFish

    RumbleFish New Member

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    "She/He should be happy with those marks."
    Wuz held up bigtime. No way that crap skate deserved those marks.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2011
  24. sk8junkie

    sk8junkie New Member

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    LOL, isn't THAT the truth!


    "She designs her own costumes" = Someone should tell her that it just looks awful.
     
  25. Mafke

    Mafke New Member

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    "That's not how she wanted it to go" = "I want that four minutes of my life back."
     
  26. twinsissv

    twinsissv Well-Known Member

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    "I found myself humming right along with the music during that performance."

    (...well for the love of Pete, I've only heard it a million times and I had to do SOMETHING to stay awake while they stumbled and staggered around on the ice...now didn't I?) :yawn:
     
  27. Bostonfan

    Bostonfan Well-Known Member

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    "She/He/They are right there on the bubble" = "Bathroom break!"

    "(Skater) left it all on the practice ice"= "You're a head case that can't handle the competition pressure"

    "She takes her time getting into position" = "She has to be a diva and refuse to skate to her starting position when announced in order to demonstrate her deep concentration"

    "The scores are taking a long time to come up" = "The judges have to stop playing Solitaire on their computers and watch the replays"
     
  28. Mafke

    Mafke New Member

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    = "The judges don't want to think about that any more than I do."
     
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  29. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

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    = The judges are currently receiving counselling for that one.

    That line could be a whole thread on its own.
     
  30. Cherub721

    Cherub721 YEAH!

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    One of Hamilton's favorites... "She turned that triple-triple into a triple-double. Smart." (She would have fallen on her arse).