Wedding/showers..advice, ettiquette, and general bitching!

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Smiley0884, Mar 18, 2013.

  1. mag

    mag Well-Known Member

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    But in fairness, it was their wedding. I am very traditional when it comes to weddings. I was married in the morning and had a wedding breakfast (three course sit down lunch) for a reception. I expected my guests would dress and act appropriately for a traditional wedding. So, if I am to expect that of others, it seems hypocritical for me not dress and behave in a fashion that goes along with what other people want for their wedding. I might draw the line at a nudist wedding or something I thought was totally immoral or illegal, but for the most part I think people should have what ever kind of wedding they want.
     
  2. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

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    I wonder how those who have "alternative" weddings will feel about them in 20 years?
     
  3. Skittl1321

    Skittl1321 Well-Known Member

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    Probably the same way those who wore traditional 80s dresses at their wedding.
    They'll remember it made sense at the time.

    It isn't the wedding that matters so much as the marriage.
     
  4. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    I never said anything about how anyone was dressed (other than the fact that a couple of people involved in the ceremony changed during it and it was described out loud as "costume changes"). I don't feel that anyone in the group I attended with was dressed inappropriately. I also did not imply that we behaved inappropriately. I don't think that we did. We sat politely through it all and followed the instructions given to us including all the silliness surrounding the tying of the "unity of the community" knot. The only negative opinions I heard expressed out loud while at the venue were from the mother of the bride.

    People can have whatever kind of wedding they want. But the rest of us are still allowed to think that some things are just silly. And believe me, a ballerina running in circles around a seated bride and groom while the bride dramatically makes enraptured faces at her is pretty silly.
     
  5. maatTheViking

    maatTheViking Skate America! Go!

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    that does sound silly, and awesomely funny all at once. As you said, their choice, but your choice to snark and share with the rest of us for amusement afterwards.

    I think the best wedding I have been that really in cooperated the lives of the bride and groom was my cousin's first wedding. He was a musician (now in IT) and his ex is an opera singer. They had a lot of musician friends of course, and got married on a beautiful day in this church ruin (no roof!) with some of their friends doing the wedding march and other traditional pieces for a small ensemble (7 people I think). It was just wonderful. At the dinner a lot of people where playing them pieces of music or singing instead of traditional toasts, it was cool when the people involved where actually professionals.

    too bad the marriage didn't last in the end, I hope the theater couple fares better :)
     
  6. mag

    mag Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, I wasn't suggesting that you had, and I completely agree you are allowed to think something is silly. I really was thinking about all the wedding craziness that goes on at this time of year and how often what the bride and groom want gets lost in what other people think they should want. The comparison up thread to 80's fashion works well. The fact that we may now look back and wonder what we were thinking doesn't matter, as long as we loved it at the time.

    The wedding you attended certainly sounds different, but I guess if the bride and groom are happy that's all that matters. At least they didn't completely bore the guests silly.
     
  7. numbers123

    numbers123 Well-Known Member

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    I am not sure that the bride and groom will think it was silly in 10 or 20 or however many years, especially if she is in the theatre business and they are together still. It was their wedding, they can do it however they want. My cousin and his wife are both in the theatre business (he's a set designer and she is in costume design) - I suspect that they would have enjoyed seeing this ceremony. The mother of the bride might have been apologizing or trying to find out what the guests thought, but I suspect the mother was not happy with how her daughter chose to have the ceremony done.

    I actually think that it sounds like fun. FWIW, my son and daughter in law had pictures taken with their dog. They even had someone assigned to getting 'Mo there and home. He is a part of their family. To them it will be like having a picture of a loved relative after he dies. They had considered having him part of their wedding party, but the hotel didn't allow pets.
     
  8. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    If the bride and groom liked it and the guests didn't starve (or weren't bored to death), I think that's all that matters. :)

    My mom's dog will be part of the festivities too. I had to make a "Don't feed the dog" sign for her to display for the reception. :p

    Also, it looks like it will be 80+F on my wedding day. I chose April mostly because it WOULDN'T be that hot! :rofl: I'm glad I didn't sell those paper fans when we changed the plan! Although I only have 50 and there are 58 people coming...

    Would guests appreciate spray fans/bottles or would those not be used in formalwear?
     
  9. Skittl1321

    Skittl1321 Well-Known Member

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    Is 80 really that hot where you live? I think in formal wear the men might be a bit uncomfortable, the women should be okay. I think the fans are a great touch... maybe the spray bottles at the reception, but the fans in the chairs at the ceremony? Because you are short a few, do every other seat in the back rows. Their problem for coming in late :)

    I went to an outdoor wedding that was 105 degrees- July in Houston. I don't know why the bride thought that was a good idea.... but we got through it. (Also went to an outdoor wedding last October in Maryland, on the Bay, a day before the hurricane came in. Pretty much everyone except the Vermont relatives, and us (coming from Iowa), were freezing, shaking in their chairs. The poor bridesmaids had knee length strapless dresses and sandals. They were ice cubes.)
     
  10. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

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    Anita, instead of putting the fans on the chairs, you could put them in a container at the entrance. Then it won't be obvious that there are not enough. And some people may choose not to take one, so it could work out fine.
     
  11. taf2002

    taf2002 Texas slumlord

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    I went to a wedding where the reception was outdoors in a botanical park type setting & all the paths and level areas were made of large paving stones that were very hard to walk on in dressy shoes. The bride had a big washtub full of flip-flops for anyone who wanted to change shoes.
     
  12. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

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    Anita, getting down to the wire! Is the wedding this weekend?
     
  13. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Well, I wanted it in April so it would be 60/70 instead of 80/90. Accuweather even says mid-80s. :lol: My sister doesn't take heat very well, but at least she won't be wearing a suit! :shuffle:

    Luckily Bay Area heat is a dry heat, so it won't be as sluggish as it could be, but it's supposed to be sunny too, and the sun can really beat down on you.

    Yeah, but now I need to get a nice large container. :lol: Hopefully Michaels still has some spring Easter stuff on clearance....

    Yup! I still have yet to paint my cake topper, and practice putting on fake lashes. :p The cake topper is obviously more visible....

    And a friend came into work yesterday to try and give my hair some curl. It was basically pincurls (twisting and knotting, then pinning up) and I have beachy waves after 13 hours and half a bottle of Bumble and Bumble hairsrapy. We'll see how long this lasts. :p Oh Asian hair...but I think I'll be happy if it just isn't bone straight on Saturday! Even a tiny curl would be enough! :lol:
     
  14. J-Ro

    J-Ro Active Member

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    Well, I have never been one for the big wedding pageant. I had what they call a "planned elopement" on Maui seven years ago. My husband and I decided we wanted to get married after living together for seven years before that and we didn't feel the need for a long engagement or the obsessive planning. It's not our style. But we did want something nice that was meaningful for both of us but we didn't want to get either of our families involved for various reasons. Neither one of us cares for drama, let's put it that way. Besides, we didn't have any money. So we did actually consider how we wanted to look back on our wedding, which was why we chose Maui. We were going to go to Las Vegas, but everything inexpensive was really cheesy like a bad Valentine's Day on steroids (Litte White Wedding Chapel, anyone?) or really pricey for nothing special. But we had been to Hawaii before; it's a special place. I should add that I work for an airline that flies there so getting there cost us nothing. So we were married in a lovely spot overlooking Kapalua Bay. I wore a dark teal silk knee-length dress and my husband wore a tan suit. It ended up looking like total '30s or '40s glamour. All we needed was the PanAm flying boat in the background to complete the picture! We announced our marriage to everyone when we returned. What a shocker to my family! It was a riot! But they were thrilled. And my mother is not the big wedding type, either, so she was really, really happy for us. I still would not have gotten married any other way even if I had a million dollars to spend. This, by the way, is my only marriage.

    As for showers and gifts, we didn't need anything. We'd been fully functioning independent adults in our own household. Our parents and immediate family gave us gifts, but that's because they wanted to, not because we asked. And someday we're hoping to have a party.

    As for other people having creative and unusual weddings: go for it! The more unusual, the better! It keeps things interesting and personal.

    Getting back to the original post way back about the couple throwing themselves a shower: tacky, especially if they've been functioning independent and gainfully employed adults. Don't they have dishes already?
     
  15. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

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    I would give anything for Asian hair! Dark, lustrous, shiny, and straight (and usually thick too)! I guess the proverbial grass is always greener.

    I can't wait to hear all about the wedding and see photos. You will be a magnificent bride. I hope your day is everything you and Alf have dreamed of. So, so happy for you!
     
  16. KCC

    KCC Active Member

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    Anita, my cake topper was fresh flowers, and I thought it was beautiful. Any florist can make one up quickly if you run out of time.
     
  17. Habs

    Habs Well-Known Member

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    I had a couple of photos taken with my dog (he's our family dog), and Mr. Habs and I had photos taken wearing hockey jerseys. :shuffle:
     
  18. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

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    My niece had their dog at the wedding.
    (An outdoor ceremony)
     
  19. Smiley0884

    Smiley0884 New Member

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    Anita, I LOVE Asian hair!!! It's so soft and beautiful! But you're right, it can be a bit tricky to curl sometimes. My former roommate is Chinese, and I loved doing her hair. I would curl it with a wand or a hair straightener instead of using curlers or a regular curling iron. I would set it with a hair spray called "hair glue" and it would last for 48 hours :p of course it helps that 1/2 the women in my family are hair dressers or in the beauty industry, so I learned how to curl hair early! You can't go wrong with using a straightener though, it's pretty much life saver for those with hard to curl hair.
     
  20. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    It is, isn't it? :lol:

    My friend who was doing my hair yesterday has naturally fluffy, extremely fine hair that will wave on its own. She thinks her mother and sister do spend the hundreds (and being in contact with formaldehyde) for hair straightening. So having super-straight hair is just fine with me 99.9% of the time. :)

    Oh, I'll probably skip class (we're going through "what to put in our portfolios" and I did mine last week and it's TEDIOUS) and get it done today. :p The cake topper is serious cute!

    Hah, I will have to try that. Does Hair Glue make it hard to the touch? :lol:
     
  21. mkats

    mkats New Member

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    Anita, did your parents have your head shaved when you were a baby? My mom swears that that's why my hair is so thick and my sister's so thin. Count me in as another one with stick straight Asian hair who always wanted curls and couldn't understand why everyone else wanted my hair. :lol:
     
  22. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

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    I can explain why they wanted you hair. It's gorgeous!
     
  23. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Don't think so. We all have thick hair, but my hair is thicker than anyone else's in my family, which is funny because I have an extremely high forehead. All the hair's just in the back! :rofl: My sister has extremely straight hair too, but it's not as thick.

    I normally don't want curls, but this time I do want it to be different from how it usually is 99.9% of the time. ;)
     
  24. leesaleesa

    leesaleesa Active Member

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    I don't even know Anita, and I'm getting excited about her wedding.
     
  25. vesperholly

    vesperholly Well-Known Member

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    If you have a Christmas Tree Shop in your area, check them out. They have great tub-sized plastic bins in nice colors.
     
  26. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

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    ^^ Or Party City, if there is one near you. They have colored plastic containers.

    I was thinking we would probably need fans in September. Was thinking of using the wedding ceremony program for a fan. Print it on a fan shaped paper and attach a handle to it.
     
  27. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    I just got a big wicker basket from Michaels. Less than $10 with a 40% off discount. :) All set!

    I was thinking about fan-shaped programs, but A) would be work, and B) I thought April would be cool enough to go without. :p
     
  28. quartz

    quartz Far beyond these castle walls

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    Me too! I love hearing about wedding plans. I had so much fun planning my wedding, that I was almost disappointed when the day arrived, because that meant the wedding part of my life was almost over. We paid for everything ourselves, so it was very low budget, and we did without a lot of the bells and whistles, but I think having limited funds makes you more innovative and creative. Looking back, even if we had more money, there isn't much we would do differently. We celebrate 25 years this June. :)
    Hope everything goes beautifully for you, Anita!
     
  29. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Innovation is definitely the name of the game! Thanks for the well wishes!

    More cuteness: Moss terrariums!

    And I finished my cake topper. :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2013
  30. Smiley0884

    Smiley0884 New Member

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    The cake topper is adorable! I love that you included your kitty :cat: