Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by skipaway, May 10, 2012.
All I can say is, Wow.
Current Time Magazine
Of course Time would have to choose a mother who actually looks like a model.
I would be nice if they actually let me read the article associated with the cover. I've been curious whether a woman can do attachment parent and hold down a full time job outside of the home. It just doesn't seem possible...
I was able to read the following column, which accompanied the cover story and is rather interesting:
Not sure what all goes into attachment parenting, but extended breastfeeding isn't difficult to do with a full-time job because by the time the baby is older, s/he is typically only nursing in the morning and/or evening.
FWIW, I breastfed both my babies for a good amount of time with no bottles, and worked full-time outside the home.
Co-sleeping/family bed should also be compatible with full-time work outside the home.
Not having read the article, I am reacting strictly to contents of posts here, and therefore...ATTACHMENT PARENT? Does that include umbilical cord still being intact?
Just sounds like....being a parent.
Uh, not exactly.
AP calls for extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and a whole host of other things.
AP principals: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/principles.php
It is also compatible with a very high percentage of the remaining sudden infant deaths.
Your article won't open for me, but aren't most infant deaths related to co-sleeping because of alcohol/drug impairment on the part of the parent?
It seems like the latest thing to make parents feel guilty about if they don't choose to do this.
I'd be worried about un-healthy parent/child relationships later in life, as well.
We've had some local ads warning parents to not have their babies sleep in the same bed, that putting them in an empty/uncluttered crib is safer. Given the co-sleeping trend, I thought it was kind of weird.
SIDS: I find it interesting that the advice is regional - except sleeping on the back, which seems to be the number 1 prevention against SIDS. In the US they advice to have the baby sleep in an empty crib, using sleepsacks etc. In Denmark everyone uses down comforters (ugh I hate sheets and have my importet comforters!) including babies. On the other hand, they advice that the room the baby sleeps in is cool, around 16 degrees C. (about 60 F).
I also think it might be more normal in Denmark to have the infant sleep in your bed (comforters and all), but I am not sure.
Attachement parenting: I think of it more as a gradual thing, and a reaction to the seperation/Cry it out/independence trend - baby is supposed to be able to sleep by itslef by 6months, not get fed on demand anymore, and so forth.
Personally, I feel most parents would do something in between - whatever works for you. I find it odd when people get 'married' to an idea - families are different.
Call me selfish but I quite liked having some time to myself at the end of the day. My kids never slept with me and they grew up to be normal, healthy children (and adults).
My girlfiend's daughter had the most beautiful 9-month old little girl. She was crying early one morning so her mom brought her to bed with her and they both fell back to sleep. When mom woke up, her baby girl had died. Horrific story. Nothing could revive her. Now her mom still lives with the horrible thought that she may have smothered her daughter. Nothing anyone said to her could make her feel differently. No thanks...babies are fine in their own space.
I hate Dr. Sears with the fire of a thousand suns. That damn Baby Book really messed with my head when I was in a very new and unfamiliar mental space.
Well...she probably did. That's not unheard of and why there are ad campaigns telling parents to put babies in cribs where they belong.
I don't know, the page Prancer linked to sounds like a recipe for spoiled kids who think the world revolves around them.
This woman's boobs aren't big enough to have a significant amount of milk. Why is she still doing it?
There were parents trying to make me feel guilty about not doing this 18 years ago.
Nothing unusual in that. People try to make parents feel guilty for everything.
I think most new parents are scared half to death and thus get very caught up in doing things the right way; some of them don't get over it. And thanks to Freud, we all believe that parenting determines destiny, so heaven forfend that a parent do it the wrong way.
I remember being scared to death as a new mom and being terrified of not doing things "the right way" whatever that means. I was worried about not producing enough milk, about my son being hungry, about changing his diaper every time he nursed (not sure where I got that idea) about him feeling fussy and me thinking I ate something that made him that way, this is after I eschewed all cabbage, broccoli, onions, caffeine and refined sugar from my diet.
Thankfully, it got better, it had to. And Freud is very old school. Modern child development classes don't emphasize Freud nearly as much and some not at all.
All I can say is that someone felt compelled to have their photo on a major magazine cover with their 3 year old stuck orally to their left tit. I mean, who the hell would do that? The fact that she's so young and modelish make me go....right! Why not the Mom-next-door?
I have no problem if someone wants to breastfeed their kid until they shove him down the aisle to meet his bride. It's none of my business. But that cover smacks of sensationalism. Barf! Wasn't there something like this on Game of Thrones? Little weevil of a kid and a vicious mother... (maybe that's my problem...)
I hope you are joking?
My breast only hit a B cup for about 24 hours when my milk first came in. For most of the time I was breastfeeding, I was a small A. And breastfeeding had no effect on the appearance of my breasts, they still look mostly the same at 50 as they did at 25. My daughter gained over a pound a week on my milk, and my 11 lb son stayed above the 100th percentile and outgrew his infant seat at 4 months. The size of the breast indicates how much fat surrounds the milk glands and ducts, not the amount of milk they can produce.
From the way this was talked about on the news, I was expecting an older looking child.
I slept with all three of my kids. It started when the nurse brought my first baby to me, on the first night of being a mom. We fell asleep while she was nursing, and woke up 5 hours later. I thought "This is great!" and never tried to make her stay in her crib in the middle of the night. I got lots of sleep with my infants.
eta- I also breastfed the two younger ones until they were around 2, and I worked after they were 6 months old without any problems with adequate milk supply.
It's not about studying Freud per se, but rather about how we have all embraced and internalized psychology, often without a whole lot of knowledge or understanding.
You'll get a kick out of this article.
Why I Mock "Attachment Parenting" And The Kids It Produces
Size of the breast is no indication of milk supply.
How many of you think that kid is not 3? He looks older to me somehow.
Ridiculously sensationalistic cover. And I'm right there with all of you who are at the fact that the mom is absolutely gorgeous and slim (and probably well rested and in great shape from 2 hours a day at the gym and custom-made organic vegetarian diet, courtesy of the live-in help).
Milk ducts and milk-producing cells grow during pregnancy, even if you started out with a small cup size. In a lactating woman, breasts engorge with milk. These do not look engorged with anything.
If you say she has an ample milk supply, where do you suppose she keeps it? If she produces a lot, she'd have to nurse very frequently to empty because her storage isn't that big. So there goes your theory of being in a gym for 2 hours a day.
That boy looks a lot older than my 3 year old. Maybe he's closer to 4?
Isn't that what some posters said, that he is approaching 4?
I have never heard of scoreless athletics that Karina's article mentioned. Has anyone?
While my breasts are bigge than hers, even was before I nursed, they don't look that small to me.
I am so happy I didn't read any parenting books, but followed my peditrician's basic advice and my instincts. Worked out well. Only thing that terrified me was SIDS - movement sensing baby alarm kept me sane.
I agree that there is a lot of pressure on you to 'do the right thing'. I still think as long as you feed, clothe, put a roof over you kids head and don't hit/abuse them everything else is gravy.
I'm not sleeping with my kid in my bed on most days, but if someone else are, it is their issue.
my godson's t ball league is scoreless until a certain age. he's in first grade, not sure when the scoring starts. there are trophies anyway.
It's usually right around third grade.
I know someone who may--MAY--have worn an A cup when she was breastfeeding. She didn't have any trouble feeding her child at all. She's got a chest like an ironing board normally; it didn't look much different.
But by the time kids are three or four, it's more of a comfort and bonding thing and doesn't require a lot of milk, or so I hear. Not my thing, but it doesn't freak me out that people do it. I don't see any reason to care one way or another.
Yeah, t-ball. Everybody bats every inning. No outs. Everyone scores every time they get up. It has got to be that way - otherwise there would be too many tearful meltdowns and temper tantrums. My daughter used to cry if she wasn't the first one to chase down a hit ball.
Regarding scoring, around here it starts in 1st grade, I think. The league just above t-ball still lets every kid get a hit every time (they bring out the tee if necessary), but I seem to recall kids being tagged out at first, and score being kept.
Hmmmmm. My son's hockey team keeps score like any other. The only thing that's different is they are not supposed to body check until they are 12.
It's not just Freud. I think a lot of people believe that, if they just follow the rules, nothing bad will happen to them.
It's not just in parenting, but when I was a new parent with my second and the internet was available, I saw a lot of that on parenting message boards. People screaming that anyone who did X was a bad mother or, alternately, that just saying X was a good idea was saying they were a bad mother.
It was tiresome.
As soon as I saw the byline (written by Kennedy, former MTV VJ), she lost me
Any woman who stays an A or B cup while nursing is lucky! Mine were too big for a triple H! They were so big and so engorged that I kept getting mastitis. My milk never regulated I' nurse each side for as long as my babies wanted, then had to stand in the shower, while milk just poured out. I had to stop at 6 months with both. My back couldn't take it, and my doctor didn't want me taking antibiotics so much. Now, they're deflated balloons!
I think it's a little odd to continue nursing to 3, 4 years old. When the child is eating/chewing solid (not puréed) food and drinking other beverages, it's not about nutrition anymore. I'm not judging, but I would not be comfortable with a chil that old still nursing. My real issue with this Time cover, is that at some point that kid will be unmercifully taunted. It's just plain cruel. They should have hidden his face.
Nursing 3 and 4 year olds is par for the course in San Francisco. Some advocate nursing until 5. I wonder why they think they should stop in kindergarten...
I was a large B when nursing and I didn't make that much per feeding so I had to nurse more often which was on demand, as women with smaller boobs find is the case. There just isn't room to store all that milk if the container is physically smaller.
My breasts only looked engorged when my milk first came in, or if I was hours too late between feedings, otherwise, they looked like normal A cup breasts. My son weighed 20 lbs before he ever had anything but breast milk. And I used to try and jiggle him to keep him awake so he'd drink enough to make me feel comfortable- I had enough milk for twins his size. I know several other small breasted women who had similar experiences.
But yeah, after 18 months or so, the breastfeeding is much more occasional comfort (for mommy and baby) and it is much easier to stop breastfeeding at that age than it is for an infant. It just sort of drifts away, and you realise you don't make milk anymore.
You are talking about feeding infants, which is pretty darn often. This is a 3-4 year old.
I'd have to move if it freaked me out, it happens all the time.
What annoys me is the holier than thou attitude of superiority because they fed through toddlerhood, and some lazy sluts stop at around 12 months.
I don't think it's just that, though.
Let's say that you have a teenager who does something awful. What are the first things everyone says about it? "Where were the parents? What's wrong with the parents?"
This is invariably followed by multiple posts about parents today who want to be their kids' friends and these rotten, privileged, pampered kids, etc.
Or you have the reverse and you have a terrific kid. Ah, her parents must have raised her right.
It all comes back to the basic idea that we are what our parents make us--in spite of the fact that most of us have ample evidence that we are what a whole lot of things made us, some of which we probably aren't even aware of.
I think that we are, in part, what our parents make us. It's an important but not the only contributing factor.
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