Tim Gunn: "I Haven't Had Sex in 29 Years"

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by soxxy, Jan 26, 2012.

  1. soxxy

    soxxy Guest

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationnow/2012/01/tim-gunn-celibacy-sex.html

    I think of all the hundreds of "celebrites" born out of reality television, Tim might be my favorite....easily, in fact.

    I'm unclear, and perhaps it's TMI, about his partner's "impatience with his sexual performance" as Tim says in the clip, but I understand the AIDS part of his answer.

    I thought the same thing as one of his cohosts: "I would think you have a line of suitors outside your door." (He probably does.)

    At any rate, good for him. Maybe that's why he seems so secure and happy??:confused::eek::lol::slinkaway
     
  2. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    This isn't actually new information as he wrote about it without putting an exact timeline on it in his last book. The media just failed to notice.

    In the book, he's pretty clear about not missing that kind of relationship in or out of the bedroom. He has a very full and happy life without it. That is completely possible for some people.
     
  3. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    Oh, come now.
     
  4. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    I imagine the partner was "impatient with his sexual performance" because Gunn was probably rarely or never interested in sex while together. Maybe Gunn has always leaned towards being non sexual.
     
  5. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    He says in the book that he considers himself asexual.
     
  6. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    You first.
     
  7. VALuvsMKwan

    VALuvsMKwan Wandering Goy

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    Oh be-HAVE, baby. :rofl:
     
  8. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    Southpaw, always the selfless lover!
     
  9. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    :sheep:
     
  10. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    Tim's life story will never end.
    It is, after all, without climax. :slinkaway
     
  11. Civic

    Civic New Member

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    According to Wikipedia, Tim Gunn was born on July 29, 1953 which would make him 58 years old. So he would have been 29 years old, the last time he had sex. That's awfully young for a healthy, able-bodied adult to give up on sex, imo. OTOH, I suspect that celibacy (both voluntary and involuntary) are more common in the U.S. than most people would assume.
     
  12. DickButtonFan

    DickButtonFan New Member

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    He couldn't "make it work"?

    :rofl:
     
  13. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    Does it make him any less awesome? I think not. The only only important fact about Tim Gunn is that he embodies awesome.
     
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  14. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    Asexuality is a real thing. Some people are genuinely not interested in sex. And I think that's okay.
     
  15. Civic

    Civic New Member

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    I go back and forth on this. OTOH, being asexual won't negatively impact your health or finances the way substance abuse issues or a gambling problem would. OTOH, being asexual probably means you're not going to have a romantic partner since never having sex would probably be a deal breaker for most people. I don't think people have to be paired off in order to be happy but I also think a good love relationship adds much to a person's life.
     
  16. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    An asexual person can set house with another asexual person if that's what they both want. I'm sure there are relationships out there where two people set up house together and do everything expected of a couple except having sex. ... Oh wait, isn't that called marriages? :lol:


    Does self-gratification count as "sex" ?
     
  17. Civic

    Civic New Member

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    Good question. I would say yes, but others may not agree. Don't most people have sexual fantasies while masturbating? Not to mention, when people orgasm as a result, it's a form of sexual release. I've always assumed that someone who is asexual wouldn't be interested in sex at all. Whereas a celibate person may still have sexual urges but chooses not to have sex with other people.
     
  18. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    I would say masturbation counts as sex, yes. An asexual person would not masturbate.
     
  19. escaflowne9282

    escaflowne9282 Well-Known Member

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    Not neccessarily. One might not have any type of fantasy or sexual thoughts during masturbation;no desire, nor dreams of intimacy. It could be the same as scratching an itch to some.
     
  20. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    I agree, I could see someone masturbating but considering themselves asexual. I could also see someone never masturbating. I am sure, as is so often the case with sexuality, there are many shades of gray.
     
  21. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

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    But masturbation is a sexual act. If one were asexual one would without sexual desire (or perhaps in denial of it), hence no need to masturbate.
     
  22. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    If you want to get all technical then is one being a homosexual every time one masturbates as well?
     
  23. escaflowne9282

    escaflowne9282 Well-Known Member

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    No, asexuality is generally the lack of sexual attraction to either gender and the lack of desire for intimacy with another . One's hormones/libido may be perfectly intact in spite of this.

    Then there are those who perhaps have low libidos and see no reason for intimacy but do have romantic notions of being with another person. There are those who may have normal sex drive, normal romantic feelings, but just not be into the idea of being intimate with someone else.

    Sexuality is many different things to many different people, there are many shades of gray.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2012
  24. ribbon

    ribbon Member

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    Perhaps TMI, but I'm 30 and never have had an interest in a sexual relationship. Even as a little child, when others would pretend to get married or have cabbage patch babies, I could care less and preferred to have my toys have adventures and friendships without romantic relationships. Perhaps even more surprising - I went through adolescence without any crushes or romantic desires. I've never been on a date or kissed anybody or anything and it may seem bizarre, but it would seem bizarre for me to want that. It would seem like I was acting in a role for a movie or play.

    My parents - happily married, my sibling is happily married with kids...

    I have a good life - like my job, love my family & friends, have a lot of different interests. I don't really feel like anything's missing.

    Unusual, yes, but we're all unique in our own way. Vive la difference!

    And, my family is pretty baffled by it, but they think maybe in a few years, I'll change - late bloomer, I guess they think. :rofl:
     
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  25. oleada

    oleada Well-Known Member

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    Ditto. I just cannot imagine going an entire lifetime without being interested in sex. Maybe it's just me, but I think that never having that kind of connection with someone is extremely sad.
     
  26. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    i think it is admirable when people can accept things about themselves that contradict society's expectations and live accordingly.
     
  27. milanessa

    milanessa engaged to dupa

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    Understanding that someone can be happy and fulfilled in a situation that you can't imagine being happy and fulfilled in is the true test of tolerance and acceptance, IMO.
     
  28. ribbon

    ribbon Member

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    Yes, it seems sad to you because you desire it...whereas for me, it would be sad to pursue a romantic connection with someone since it would really feel like I was trying to be somebody else or be something I'm not.

    If I were completely alone, I would be sad. But, I hang out with friends and family, have a good group of co-workers, get out and about, etc. My life is pretty full.

    I don't advertise my lifestyle since I know most people think it's unthinkable and I must really be depressed at heart, even if I don't admit it. I used to worry that something was seriously wrong with me since I got pestered by friends/family about why I wasn't showing interest in seeing other people as potential romantic partners. My doctor was all worried and ordered tests to check my hormones, upon my mother's request, when I graduated from college. It was actually my gynecologist who made me feel better when I was in my early 20s when I asked her if I should go on a hormone pill even if my results were fine. "No, why bother? You ask that because everyone else is asking you that. It's your life, not up to your friends or family or society. You're healthy and if you stop worrying about other people's perceptions, you'd be happy too, so just be confident enough to be yourself." Best advice ever.
     
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  29. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    Point: Sex can be utterly without any kind of meaningful connection. It's a mechanical/biological act. If ribbon, or Tim Gunn, or anyone who defines themself as asexual, choses not to engage in sexual behaviors, it does not mean they have no emotional connections to other human beings.

    Likewise, absence of 'romantic' love does not mean a person cannot love other people or have a deep, meaningful connection to them. If anything, it's more common and probably more harmful for people to have infatuations with and sexual intimacy with people while *substituting* or *mistaking* that for meaningful emotional connections, leading to a lot of problems when the hormone rush ends and there's nothing else there.
     
  30. vesperholly

    vesperholly Well-Known Member

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    :respec: