The Mom Gene--do you have it?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by IceAlisa, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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  2. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Since you seem like the sort of married couple who knows how to negotiate with a free agent like me, tell your husband that if he lets me watch you detach HIS testicles with a rusty spoon I'll buy him the pressure washer myself.
     
  3. susan6

    susan6 Well-Known Member

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    What was your brother (or was it your husbands brother) thinking, and is he at least helping with this?
     
  4. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    The little guy was born to my husband's sister. She has no idea who the biological father was. She assumes that he was conceived via a act of prostitution. Who ever he was, he didn't come forward in the time legally given after being served by publication, and so his rights were terminated.
     
  5. Badams

    Badams Well-Known Member

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    That poor baby. Thank God he has you. :)
     
  6. manleywoman

    manleywoman podcast mistress

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    Well, I for one would hate to be a SAHM, even if I had the money to do it. It's not in me to be maternal all day every day. And I don't feel one ounce of guilt over it. My nanny is amazing with the baby, and our older one goes to a great school that he loves and is working well for him. If I were home with them all the time I'd go nuts.

    I adore my kids, but don't feel that maternal, and never did. As Miranda on Sex and The City said, " I don't like anyone's kids but my own." I've been told by a few people that I'm a great mom, and my kids are healthy and happy.
     
  7. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Very true. I think some people do have it harder (or make it harder on themselves :eek: ), but it doesn't make them better people for suffering more. Suffering sucks no matter what the cause or extent.

    My mom is like this. She was sooo glad once we were out of the house. :lol: She spoils her dogs more than she ever did us. She was never an exemplary example of a traditional housewife, but was caring and able to teach us good values and IMO that's really all that's required of being a "good" parent.

    I feel so bad for my coworker. I asked her what she was doing this weekend, and she sighed and said, "Kid stuff. Soccer games, soccer coaching, gymnastics, cooking, cleaning..." I'm sure she could let up on say, her ridiculously high standard of cleanliness for just one weekend, but she feels like a terrible mother if she lets a single speck fall on the floor anywhere in her house. I wish she could give herself a break. :(
     
  8. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    It's kind of you to say that.
     
  9. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    :confused: Why do you feel sorry for her? There's nothing on that list that she didn't volunteer herself for and go into willingly. If she's wants to be a neurotic housekeeper that's her choice, just like it's your choice if you want to spend an afternoon napping contentedly. Should your co-worker feel sorry for you because you enjoy napping?

    I understand feeling sorry for someone if they catch a bad break or run into a streak of bad luck or are the victim of forces beyond their control or even if they made a stupid decision somewhere along the line that negatively impacted their life, but volunteer soccer coaching? She can quit. That would give her more time to run the vacuum cleaner 5 times a day.
     
  10. Badams

    Badams Well-Known Member

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    I WISH I had the compulsive cleaner gene! But instead, I have the compulsive exerciser gene. :lol:
     
    galaxygirl and (deleted member) like this.
  11. made_in_canada

    made_in_canada INTJ

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    Me too, Badams...
     
  12. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    I feel bad for people who are harming themselves. :eek: She didn't sound very happy at all on Friday, when I talked to her. :( Part of it, I imagine, is feeling like she HAS no choice. She cannot bring herself to say no, ever. (You bet I told her to blow off the soccer coaching!) She has to say yes, because saying no will make her a bad person. Even our boss will keep her in the dark about certain experiments or whatnot, so she won't volunteer to do them. :lol: Her family is IMO walking all over her, so I'm glad that at least she has some aspect of her life that is supportive.

    I feel like she has the "women can have/must do it all" mindset, except x10000000. Don't get me wrong, I find it very admirable that she can do all of it pretty thanklessly and not ask for exceptions....but enough is enough! Time for a vacation that she can't give herself! :lol:

    I'm more of a compulsive exerciser now too, but when I'm 50, I'll be glad that I built up my bone mass (that's when my mom developed osteoporosis), instead of cleaning my house on a daily basis. :lol: That's how I look at it!
     
  13. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    It's her choice to feel like she has no choice in these matters. I say enjoy your napping and don't worry about her, eventually she'll get a therapist or she'll run off to Tahiti with her hair on fire.

    Good for you! I'm not a ruthless housekeeper, either, but that's because I choose to spend my time doing other things instead. Like exercising. When the housekeeping part (or lack thereof) really starts to skeeve me out I bump it up to the top of the priority list and then something else gets knocked to the bottom.
     
  14. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    (Laughs)
    That won't work. He would need several weeks to recover from the testicle removal - during which time I would really have my hands full!
    Besides, he is fairly well-behaved, for the most part ;)
    Also it occurs to me that all the spoons in this household are Stainless Steel, and rust-free.
     
  15. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    I go to a lot of flea markets, I'll hook you up with one. Bet I can even find a rusty pie server, too. Mere details, TygerTyer, mere details.
     
  16. modern_muslimah

    modern_muslimah Thinking of witty user title and coming up blank

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    It really depends on how badly the drugs affected the baby in utero. I have a friend who was adopted. Her mother did crack when pregnant with her. The crack did a lot of damage to my friend's brain. Things like impulse control, the ability to do basic math, etc. are really hard for her. So even though she is an adult, her parents still worry about what may happen to her when they get much older or pass away. Her parents are awesome because they adopted her and her sister (who has Asperger's syndrome). So I guess in some ways it gets easier (i.e. the really loud crying that takes place when the baby is being weaned off the drugs) but in other ways it gets more difficult. That takes a lot of love.
     
  17. UGG

    UGG Well-Known Member

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    I never played with dolls, never dreamed of being a mom.I totally HATED being pregnant. And being in labor before I received an epidural. After I got it, I was on facebook for 4 hours LOL.

    I totally have a mom gene though-I completely shocked myself! :D

    On another note...Women judge each other way too much. Everyone is wayyy to involved in everyone else's parenting life style.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2012