The Mom Gene--do you have it?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by IceAlisa, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    Ah, yeah...
    That is what I just said. It is to be assumed that the father does his bit. If he doesn't, then he ought to have to testicles removed with a rusty spoon.
  2. leesaleesa

    leesaleesa New Member

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    I know a stay at home mom who seems to have it all-Wealthy husband, housekeeper, new luxury vehicles every year or so, vacations abroad, etc. I used to sort of hate her because she had it so "easy", until I found out that one of her daughters is special needs, will likely always need specialized care, and recently developed seizures. Most of her care is provided by her Mother, so she's not fobbing that responsibility off. She'll never be "free".

    The grass is not always greener. How do you think the Father of your children feels about having to bust his ass to support four people? Instead of envying others who have "more" than you do, why not make frieds with those communal Hispanic women in your area? Maybe you could meet someone you click with who could provide company and share baby sitting with.
  3. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    Whatever....

    I get annoyed at women telling me that I'm "lucky" - women who could easily afford to stay home themselves, but choose not to (which, of course, is perfectly fine) and somehow that means that I lack empathy?
    I'm annoyed at women who feel entitled to an opinion about lifestyle, in spite of the fact that they have made different choices in life.

    Boy, judging other women is sure a good time! Trying to see things from someone else's point of view? :blah:
    It's nice that you have so much sympathy for my "poor husband" though. I'll be sure to let him know. That ought to give him a laugh. He has a posh management job with low stress and a good salary. D
    her grace and (deleted member) like this.
  4. leesaleesa

    leesaleesa New Member

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    If you don't want to be "judged" maybe you shouldn't post online how people are lucky they're not in the same room with you when they dare to comment on your public comments, wish people dead, and want to remove some poor guy's testicles with a rusty spoon.

    Yeah, I do feel sorry for your husband. A lot.
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2012
  5. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    :lol:

    Honey, are you married?
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2012
  6. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    TygerTyger, I would gladly watch your kiddies for a few hours in exchange for the entertainment of watching you detach some testicles with a rusty spoon. I don't mind watching kids as long as I get something useful out of the deal. Money isn't always necessary for me, I'm all for bartering and slapstick entertainment counts for a lot in my world. I don't even care whose testicles you detach, you pick.
    numbers123 and (deleted member) like this.
  7. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    DEAL!

    Rick Santorum is coming to WA to speak out against the legalization of Gay Marriage. Clearly his testicles need to go!

    Vote "Yes" on R-74!
  8. agalisgv

    agalisgv Well-Known Member

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    Just want to say I know some couples who adopted/raised babies born with drugs in their system. While it worked out long-term, for the first couple years it was complete hell. And that's with no other children in the picture. I don't know how much that applies to tygertyger, but anyone willing to take in a baby born to a meth addict has my respect.

    And yes, it does get better. So hang in there.
  9. numbers123

    numbers123 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, drug addicted babies are extremely taxing. I have only taken care of those babies for a very short time with lots of other people around to give me a break or two. If you are caring for an addicted baby 24/7/365 plus another infant, you may feel like no one understands what you are going through and the amount of energy is required.

    If you are caring for a drug addicted baby, you may not feel you can go out of your house/living room because you don't know what to anticipate or if you can handle everything - including the people who will tell you how you should raise your children. Comments such as "can't you control your children. You shouldn't take children out in public if you can't control them, blah,blah, blah..."
  10. leesaleesa

    leesaleesa New Member

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    Not anymore, ma cher. Rather than stay and stew in misery and resent him, I left. I chose to remember the good and learn from the bad. Plenty of people have it much better than me, and plenty have it worse.
    OliviaPug and (deleted member) like this.
  11. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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  12. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Since you seem like the sort of married couple who knows how to negotiate with a free agent like me, tell your husband that if he lets me watch you detach HIS testicles with a rusty spoon I'll buy him the pressure washer myself.
  13. susan6

    susan6 Well-Known Member

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    What was your brother (or was it your husbands brother) thinking, and is he at least helping with this?
  14. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    The little guy was born to my husband's sister. She has no idea who the biological father was. She assumes that he was conceived via a act of prostitution. Who ever he was, he didn't come forward in the time legally given after being served by publication, and so his rights were terminated.
  15. Badams

    Badams Well-Known Member

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    That poor baby. Thank God he has you. :)
  16. manleywoman

    manleywoman podcast mistress

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    Well, I for one would hate to be a SAHM, even if I had the money to do it. It's not in me to be maternal all day every day. And I don't feel one ounce of guilt over it. My nanny is amazing with the baby, and our older one goes to a great school that he loves and is working well for him. If I were home with them all the time I'd go nuts.

    I adore my kids, but don't feel that maternal, and never did. As Miranda on Sex and The City said, " I don't like anyone's kids but my own." I've been told by a few people that I'm a great mom, and my kids are healthy and happy.
  17. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Very true. I think some people do have it harder (or make it harder on themselves :eek: ), but it doesn't make them better people for suffering more. Suffering sucks no matter what the cause or extent.

    My mom is like this. She was sooo glad once we were out of the house. :lol: She spoils her dogs more than she ever did us. She was never an exemplary example of a traditional housewife, but was caring and able to teach us good values and IMO that's really all that's required of being a "good" parent.

    I feel so bad for my coworker. I asked her what she was doing this weekend, and she sighed and said, "Kid stuff. Soccer games, soccer coaching, gymnastics, cooking, cleaning..." I'm sure she could let up on say, her ridiculously high standard of cleanliness for just one weekend, but she feels like a terrible mother if she lets a single speck fall on the floor anywhere in her house. I wish she could give herself a break. :(
  18. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    It's kind of you to say that.
  19. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    :confused: Why do you feel sorry for her? There's nothing on that list that she didn't volunteer herself for and go into willingly. If she's wants to be a neurotic housekeeper that's her choice, just like it's your choice if you want to spend an afternoon napping contentedly. Should your co-worker feel sorry for you because you enjoy napping?

    I understand feeling sorry for someone if they catch a bad break or run into a streak of bad luck or are the victim of forces beyond their control or even if they made a stupid decision somewhere along the line that negatively impacted their life, but volunteer soccer coaching? She can quit. That would give her more time to run the vacuum cleaner 5 times a day.
  20. Badams

    Badams Well-Known Member

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    I WISH I had the compulsive cleaner gene! But instead, I have the compulsive exerciser gene. :lol:
    galaxygirl and (deleted member) like this.
  21. made_in_canada

    made_in_canada INTJ

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    Me too, Badams...
  22. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    I feel bad for people who are harming themselves. :eek: She didn't sound very happy at all on Friday, when I talked to her. :( Part of it, I imagine, is feeling like she HAS no choice. She cannot bring herself to say no, ever. (You bet I told her to blow off the soccer coaching!) She has to say yes, because saying no will make her a bad person. Even our boss will keep her in the dark about certain experiments or whatnot, so she won't volunteer to do them. :lol: Her family is IMO walking all over her, so I'm glad that at least she has some aspect of her life that is supportive.

    I feel like she has the "women can have/must do it all" mindset, except x10000000. Don't get me wrong, I find it very admirable that she can do all of it pretty thanklessly and not ask for exceptions....but enough is enough! Time for a vacation that she can't give herself! :lol:

    I'm more of a compulsive exerciser now too, but when I'm 50, I'll be glad that I built up my bone mass (that's when my mom developed osteoporosis), instead of cleaning my house on a daily basis. :lol: That's how I look at it!
  23. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    It's her choice to feel like she has no choice in these matters. I say enjoy your napping and don't worry about her, eventually she'll get a therapist or she'll run off to Tahiti with her hair on fire.

    Good for you! I'm not a ruthless housekeeper, either, but that's because I choose to spend my time doing other things instead. Like exercising. When the housekeeping part (or lack thereof) really starts to skeeve me out I bump it up to the top of the priority list and then something else gets knocked to the bottom.
  24. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger New Member

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    (Laughs)
    That won't work. He would need several weeks to recover from the testicle removal - during which time I would really have my hands full!
    Besides, he is fairly well-behaved, for the most part ;)
    Also it occurs to me that all the spoons in this household are Stainless Steel, and rust-free.
  25. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    I go to a lot of flea markets, I'll hook you up with one. Bet I can even find a rusty pie server, too. Mere details, TygerTyer, mere details.
  26. modern_muslimah

    modern_muslimah Well-Known Member

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    It really depends on how badly the drugs affected the baby in utero. I have a friend who was adopted. Her mother did crack when pregnant with her. The crack did a lot of damage to my friend's brain. Things like impulse control, the ability to do basic math, etc. are really hard for her. So even though she is an adult, her parents still worry about what may happen to her when they get much older or pass away. Her parents are awesome because they adopted her and her sister (who has Asperger's syndrome). So I guess in some ways it gets easier (i.e. the really loud crying that takes place when the baby is being weaned off the drugs) but in other ways it gets more difficult. That takes a lot of love.
  27. UGG

    UGG Well-Known Member

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    I never played with dolls, never dreamed of being a mom.I totally HATED being pregnant. And being in labor before I received an epidural. After I got it, I was on facebook for 4 hours LOL.

    I totally have a mom gene though-I completely shocked myself! :D

    On another note...Women judge each other way too much. Everyone is wayyy to involved in everyone else's parenting life style.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2012