The Mom Gene--do you have it?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by IceAlisa, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    What I'm doing is giving voice to an alternate POV that is often overlooked because yes, society is heavily geared towards parenthood and parent culture and those of us who aren't following the mainstream culture ARE often dismissed as non-essential personnel. Look at how mommy-centric those two speeches were by Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Romney. OK, they were speaking to the majority of America, the majority of America who is in the family way, but there are plenty of us who don't subscribe to the majority lifestyle and hey, we vote too. So what you may perceive as me being dismissive of mothers is actually me simply putting forth a POV that's just a squeaky bit different than the majority POV. People can have kids all day long, I really don't care what they do if that's what they choose to do (as long as they don't hold me responsible in any way for their choice), but when someone like Mrs. Romney comes along and stands up there on that bully pulpit podium and tells me that I don't know what true worrying is because I'm not a MOTHER, and how only MOTHERS know what it really means to worry then yeah, I get annoyed. That's rather arrogant thinking if you ask me and I wonder, how many mothers listened to that and shook their head in agreement. Sure, you can say it's just the words of one politician's wife and who cares what she says except....it ain't. Maybe people on this thread don't feel that way which wouldn't surprise me because it's FSU and we're a sort of rarefied universe and if that's the case then they have no reason to get defensive, but believe me that attitude is out there. If you can't relate, you can't relate. I read an article after Nora Ephron died in which the writer said that Nora would have been a better writer if only she were a mother. Written, of course, by a mother. So only MOTHERS have the ability to write touching prose??? Lady, give me an effing break!!! If you want to see the piece I'll hunt it down.

    Now, am I speaking from personal experience? Of course! Maybe some people don't like that approach to my thinking and they only consider POVs that are sprung from hard data and statistics and that's fine with me, go ahead roll your eyes and tell me I'm full of crap and I don't know what I'm talking about. If I had a buck for everytime told me I'm full of crap and I don't know what I'm talking about then I'd be able to throw a party and invite everyone in this thread. I'm interested in the human condition, not pie charts so if you're a pie chart kind of person then I'm probably not the POV for you. However, I hear from a lot of people about how they're happy to hear that they're not the only one who sees things the same way so seems to me like maybe there are some people who can relate to what I'm saying and I'm not completely talking out of my ass here. Not this time, anyway. :lol:
     
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  2. Hedwig

    Hedwig Rarely here anymore but I try to be better!

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    I don't really find your text to simply be a different POV. To me they come across as really bitter and, yes, dismissive of mothers.
    The way you write for instance about the mothers you meet is "mommys" and their husbands are their husbands and not "daddys" or even fathers. You make such a clear distinction in that that that alone made me stop.

    I am no American so of course I don't know the speeches you linked to but I am a 34 year old women who is no mother and until like 2-3 years ago did not intent to become a mother. But I never felt like the mothers in this world are glorified or that people think only they can write touching prose or what not.
    I do believe that some things can only be appreciated or even be written by a mother simply because they made a specific experience that the rest of us haven't had yet. For instance if a childless woman wrote about childbirth and how it feels it would be pretty weird IMO (unless she was a mid wife or somehow involved in birth in any other way). Or if someone wrote a poem about how it feels to lose a child, I imagine that a parent who has gone through with an experience like that, would be able to give a more touching and better picture.
    We as humans cannot really understand experiences of other people if we did not go through something similar IMO.

    What I find sad in your posts is that it comes across to me like you think that all mothers are brainless idiots who only talk about their children and that they all agree with anyone who sprouts bullshit like "mothers are better people".
    I find that pretty narrow minded and would not call that a different POV but actually a bit sad.
     
  3. skatingfan5

    skatingfan5 Well-Known Member

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    :confused: Southpaw, I'd like to see that article, because either you are misremembering it and it was about someone else or the author was a complete idiot -- Nora Ephron WAS a mother -- she had two sons with Carl Bernstein.
     
  4. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Excellent! That means I'm arguing my position strongly if that's what you're getting out of it as a reader. Thanks for the feedback. :summer:
     
  5. OliviaPug

    OliviaPug Well-Known Member

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    Mothers and non-mothers are just like everyone else. There are good ones, bad ones, selfish ones, democrat ones, republican ones, snotty ones, self-righteous ones, humble ones, selfless ones, perfectionist ones, lazy ones, etc. The generalizations in this thread are amazing!

    O-
     
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  6. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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  7. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    In this sentence, who is everyone else? :slinkaway
     
  8. skatingfan5

    skatingfan5 Well-Known Member

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    Fathers and non-fathers? :shuffle:
     
  9. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    I realize that everyone is different. But, I did feel this overwhelming love. It was like nothing else I'd ever felt before. As tired and sore as I was, I was exhilarated! I will say that I got to the hospital 9.5 cm dilated, they broke my water and I pushed her out in 20 minutes. The second one was a little longer, but he was a fairly easy delivery too. I hope that yours goes as easily as mine did. I remember going to Lamaze classes, before the first baby. The last class has couples who just had their first babies a month before. They all told horror stories! I told my story and several women came up to me afterward and thanked me for talking about the birth in a very positive and upbeat way. Not everyone has an easy delivery, but some do. It can happen :).
     
  10. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    I think they fall under mothers and non-mothers. :slinkaway
     
  11. skatingfan5

    skatingfan5 Well-Known Member

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    Well yes, but I think the unstated implication was that mothers/non-mothers were categories of women. Of course, the "everyone else" also probably meant as with "all other categories/roles/professions" (that people embody). :slinkaway
     
  12. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    I've actually never thought of "non-mothers" as a category that could be contrasted with "all other categories/roles/professions." But if it is a category of women, that might lend credence to Southpaw's POV.
     
  13. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    It all depends on how you approach slicing up that pie chart. ;)
     
  14. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    What kind of pie is it? I'd like pecan.
     
  15. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Yeah, pecan is awesome. My mom used to make a great pecan pie.
     
  16. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    My dog likes pecan pie. Can we talk about dogs now? :dog:
     
  17. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Does your dog have the Mom Gene?
     
  18. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    I'll ask him. :lol:
     
  19. Rob

    Rob Beach Bum

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    I had one doll I loved, but she was a big one -- I was less than 2 and she was nearly the same size I was at the time. Then someone gave me a Skipper doll (Barbies little sister). I dressed her up but soon lost interest. I had some Little Kiddles, but stuffed animals were really my thing. I had dozens and dozens, all with names, all lined up on my extra bed in my room. I would talk to them and pretend feed them.

    I never thought babies were cute either. Never had the desire to have a child until my nephew was born, but by the time he was a year old, the desire had passed. But if I could have dozens of cats and dogs and other animals, I would.
     
  20. OliviaPug

    OliviaPug Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps :lol:

    My point was that the distinction is just like every other distinction. There are good and bad people in every religion, job, walk of life. Their "categorization" does not determine who they are as people.

    There are even kind attorneys ;)

    O-
     
  21. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    But the real question is, what kind of pie do they eat?
     
  22. skatingfan5

    skatingfan5 Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps there are some who don't eat pie -- of any kind. :slinkaway
     
  23. OliviaPug

    OliviaPug Well-Known Member

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    Everyone eats some kinda pie, don't they? (I think I just made a generalization not supported by empirical evidence.) :D

    O-
     
  24. Nan

    Nan Just me

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    :yikes: :scream:
     
  25. skatingfan5

    skatingfan5 Well-Known Member

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    There are those who towards pie feel only disdain. :drama:
    And other self-denying souls who choose to refrain. :saint:
    But the saddest of all are those who from pie must abstain. :(
    I really, truly, deeply feel their pain. :wuzrobbed
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2012
  26. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Maybe not. According to that great American philosopher Frank Carroll - some like pie, and some like cake.
     
  27. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    The entire population is contained in the set pie eaters and non-pie eaters.
     
  28. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    I wish we could get Frank and Uncle Dick in here to tell us what they think of the Mom Gene. And pie. Can't forget about the pie.
     
  29. skatingfan5

    skatingfan5 Well-Known Member

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    And Peggy to opine on Mom jeans. :p
     
  30. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    If Uncle Dick were in here and he said "Southpaw, I don't give a rusty hoot what you think about pie!" I think I could die a happy woman.