Some Quitting Facebook as Privacy Concerns Escalate

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by missflick, May 14, 2010.

  1. missflick

    missflick New Member

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  2. Stormy

    Stormy Well-Known Member

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    I do think Facebook has privacy issues, but it's up to people to learn how to use the privacy settings and be responsible using Facebook. I'm always amazed at what people share and post on Facebook and how they leave everything open for anyone to see. I have all my privacy settings set to the highest level, you can't search for me on Facebook, or have my Facebook profile be shown in search engines. I don't add a zillion games or apps that share all my information. I use it as responsibly as it allows me to.
  3. IceAlisa

    IceAlisa Port de bras!!!

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    One of a friend's friend posted pics and video of her home birth. With details and close ups. I've always considered that kind of event private and intimate but she obviously doesn't. And because my friend commented, I was able to see it.

    That was the only time I saw something out of the ordinary though .
  4. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    A high school friend of mine has been posting weekly photos of her pregnant belly. On Wednesdays. Which we are supposed to be calling, from now until the birth, "Susie's Bump Day". On Mondays and Tuesdays, she reminds us that the day is almost here because she knows we "are all looking forward to it!" She's always been a bit self-absorbed.

    Sometimes I think that Facebook supplies way too big of a platform for people like that to get worse.

    My privacy settings are to the maximum as well. The thing that has pissed me off most is the new thing where your work, interests, schools, etc...must be connected to a page or not listed. What was that???
    smurfy and (deleted member) like this.
  5. Andora

    Andora Well-Known Member

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    Betty White's monologue on SNL touched on a couple good points about Facebook, that it's a "giant waste of time" (guitly) and how showing someone vacation pictures was considered punishment or classes or something. (I'm blanking) I laughed, but :shuffle:.

    I use Facebook responsibly. I keep my privacy controls as tight as I can, even though Facebook reboots them, it would seem, from time to time. My last name isn't even on there, thankfully, but I really hate that I can't be invisible anymore, and privacy controls/standards are changed often. I really dig those on my list who post articles and interesting points of interest, but they're few and far between. It's fine, I can just scroll by.

    What I have a real problem with is that one can't REALLY control what's put out there about you. That others can not only put up a photo of you, but TAG you in it, is beyond ridiculous. I'm lucky, because I'm pretty sure I don't have any scandalous photos out there, but a friend of mine was at a party with a cigarette in one hand and something a bit illicit in the other. Someone snapped a photo of her like this, and threw it up on facebook with her name attached. Absolutely we should be careful about pictures we pose for/things we do around cameras, but I think the whole tagging business is ridiculous all the same. I have it so others can't see photos I'm tagged in, but I'm sure that'll stop being an option in the future.
  6. *Jen*

    *Jen* Well-Known Member

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    I agree. I also have it so others can't see the photos that I am tagged in, but I don't like it when people put up bad photos of me. My flatmate recently informed me that she found a whole lot of photos of herself on our former flatmates page, untagged, that she had no idea were there. She asked the girl to take them down, but so far, she hasn't.

    The idea of things about me being on the internet without my knowledge freaks me out. And people wonder why I refuse to be in photos :scream:

    Hopefully facebook will allow for the stricter privacy settings, because if they don't, a lot of people will leave and a new site will pop up to grab the market.
  7. millyskate

    millyskate Well-Known Member

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    I think that's an excellent point.

    :scream:


    I think facebook has its definite pluses. It's particularly useful for people like me, who are constantly moving and have lived in many different countries. If it wasn't for facebook, I wouldn't have a social life. Facebook enables you to keep casual acquaintances at a distance, and that's vital to my balance. If facebook wasn't there, I don't think I'd be able to put up with this lifestyle. That may sound a bit extreme, but it's true... Having daily interaction with my closest friends on the other side of the earth, and having 2/3 a year interaction with a couple of hundred others wouldn't happen so naturally without it.

    I also got my last job through facebook, and all the serious employment options I've had this year have been through facebook as well! so :cheer2: facebook.
  8. El Rey

    El Rey Well-Known Member

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    I agree that it is up to people to set their settings according to how much they feel comfortable revealing. I disagree with some of the privacy options that facebook has taken away that were previously there. For example, I used to like that when a "non-friend" saw me on a friend's page all they could see was my name. They couldn't see a picture nor could they click on my name to get any other kind of information. Now they can do all that and see the pages I am a fan of. And now I can't even list any interests, schools, etc without facebook linking it and making it public. If i want to do that without linking I need to put it in my Bio.

    And people always argue that we don't have to pay to use Facebook so we shouldn't complain. Mark Zuckerberg became a billionaire before all these privacy changes. And he became a billionaire because we use facebook. So we aren't getting anything for free.
    Jodi and (deleted member) like this.
  9. kwanfan1818

    kwanfan1818 I

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    Which isn't possible when they add in new elements that are auto-set to little or no privacy, and until someone puts out a warning with instructions on how to reset the settings, and you change them, or you poke around yourself, the new elements can suck your info out at will.

    There's a group of four guys called "diaspora" that claims to have raised enough money to program the beta for a new social app that will address the privacy issues in Facebook:

    http://www.joindiaspora.com/
  10. *Jen*

    *Jen* Well-Known Member

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    So do I, but that doesn't change the fact that a couple of months ago, I realised that I could see some profiles I previously couldn't see. And I decided to check my own settings, and discovered that facebook had changed them, without my knowledge or consent, so that a lot more things were public.

    There's using it responsibly, and then there's corporate responsibility. Facebook shouldn't take away privacy options and change settings are regularly as it does, and without warning. There's a growing area of internet law relating to this.
    Cheylana and (deleted member) like this.
  11. IceAlisa

    IceAlisa Port de bras!!!

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    Ironically, one of my friends posted on FB that government officials in Europe are putting heads together for discussion of whether FB has broken any privacy laws. In response to this and what I imagine to be an avalanche of complaints, FB has hired a prominent privacy laws attorney.

    FB also had an emergency All Hands On Deck meeting to discuss the matter.
  12. Kruss

    Kruss Well-Known Member

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    I would love it if Facebook as found liable for messing with people's privacy. I hate that I have to make it almost a weekly thing to go into Facebook and check my settings since they find it absolutely okay to change my settings whenever they feel they can.

    I use it to keep in touch with old classmates and with newly-found family in Ireland, England and Italy. But I hate it.

    And the apps gave me a nasty malware. No apps for me anymore!
  13. silverstars

    silverstars New Member

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    I do agree that the direction that Facebook's privacy policy is headed in is a bit scary, and I can't say that I'm thrilled about their new thing with all of your interests being public. I don't have any apps because the whole access to all of your information thing really freaked me out.

    That said, I'm in college. I use Facebook to plan/attend events for all of my extracurriculars and friends, keep in touch with people at other schools, and basically organize a large part of my social life. It's a huge part of the social culture at basically any American university that you can find (it was, after all, created specifically for colleges before it got really huge). Until "the next big thing" comes along, I'm kind of stuck with FB because it's so ingrained in college life. I do make sure that I really limit the amount of information that's on there, though, especially considering the fact that I'll be looking for jobs in a year or two.
  14. MOIJTO

    MOIJTO Banned Member

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    If somebody wants to find out about you they will facebook, myspace or not!
  15. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    So will you post a photo here of yourself using the bathroom? Because if we really want to, we could look through your windows late at night and watch you pinch one off...
  16. LadyGray

    LadyGray New Member

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    I agree with your points here. I have had several, mostly unrelated groups of close friends throughout my lifetime (people from my former dance company, old classmates, college friends, friends from my old hometown, friends from my new hometown, work colleagues from more than one workplace, etc.) and I am happy to have FB to help me stay in touch on a regular basis with each of these groups of people (as well as mostly everyone in my very large family). Since I joined FB a little over a year ago, I have made (and continue to make) in-person connections with people from each of these groups, some of whom I hadn't seen in well over a decade.

    Interestingly, because he saw me posting on FB late last night, my uncle realized I was up and called me from his new house in the Philippines (I live in the U. S.). He said it only occurred to him to try me because seeing me on FB put me in his mind (just to be clear, I am one of 27 first cousins, so he has a lot of nieces and nephews to try to think of :lol: ). Anyhow, we had a lovely, hour-long phone conversation that may not have happened otherwise.

    I love FB and will continue to be vigilant about protecting my privacy (I don't list any personal info like work, schools, birthday, residence, e-mail, etc.,-- I figure that the people who I want to know that information already know that information).
  17. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    I'd defriend that person, and it wouldn't have anything to do with Facebook.
  18. IceAlisa

    IceAlisa Port de bras!!!

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    You could also hide their newsfeed. I've done it with a couple of people. :shuffle:
  19. Norlite

    Norlite New Member

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    That's what I do. Like you, just to a couple people.


    PDilemma's friend would definitely be one of those.
  20. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    But, see...there's a dilemma there. Part of me wants to defriend or hide her, and part of me wants to leave her there for mocking purposes. So far the second part is winning. :lol:
  21. numbers123

    numbers123 Well-Known Member

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    I recently found that facebook had linked to another email address that I NEVER USED with facebook. But used a computer with that primary email address but never used that email address to connect with facebook.

    I changed the password, but if I had the save my password or leave me logged in I am not asked for the new password.

    But there is a new feature, if you know about it or discover it by going through the settings that can notify you if a log in has happened at a new location that is not known. Don't know if that works for any system that you might have already been logged into.
  22. Reuven

    Reuven Official FSU Alte Kacher

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    Whilst a user does seem to be able to set privacy rules, FB seems to keep doing things like numbers' issue ^ and not telling users. That's just another reason I won't join FB.
    Eden and (deleted member) like this.
  23. algonquin

    algonquin Well-Known Member

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    Same here.

    On another Facebook related note, does anyone find rather weird when couples, married or not, write message to each other in the status updates?
  24. Desperado

    Desperado Active Member

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    I closed my FB account eight months ago after being on for two years. I never used third party apps because I didn't want to share my info with total unknowns, add high privacy settings and a very small picture of myself that no one could recognize.

    However, he straw that broke it for me was when I realized that they kept all the email addresses in my Outlook contacts list after I did a search for friends through my contacts when I first opened the account.

    I found out because I got a "so and so" is now on FB, do you want to friend him? He was an out of town friend and we had no FB friends in common so it took me a while to figure out how they linked us together.

    I realized then that I had offered them addresses of people that might never have wanted FB to "own" their information. And they kept it for TWO YEARS in their database, they could keep it forever and we would never know what they did with it.

    I had also heard that the copyright of any picture you post automatically reverts to Facebook and I didn't appreciate this at all either.
  25. *Jen*

    *Jen* Well-Known Member

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  26. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    Yes. Very. Especially married couples who have entire conversations on their walls when it is apparent that they are at home using separate computers to do so.

    Also, people who post messages to their small children who cannot read as their statuses. As in "Happy 1st b-day, baby Johnny. Mommy loves you!"
    Uh...baby does not have an account and cannot read yours. Why don't you just tell us that it is baby's 1st b-day since it is obvious that you posted this so we would know that?
  27. algonquin

    algonquin Well-Known Member

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    It is just odd and can't make for a healthy marriage.
  28. genevieve

    genevieve drinky typo pbp, closet hugger Staff Member

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    I don't think it's odd for couples to post on their FB profiles at all...so many people post to FB from their phones now. now, if it's all smooshy, TMI stuff about how awesome they are as a couple...gag. But that would be gag-worthy even if only one person in the couple is posting it.
    Karina1974 and (deleted member) like this.
  29. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    If you added an ex-friend to your e-mail address book years ago, subsequently blocked him because you had a falling out but you forgot to purge him from your address book, he will be invited to your FB account if you give FB your e-mail password. FB will not notice that you blocked this person, it will just automatically invite all the names in your address book.
  30. maggylyn

    maggylyn New Member

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    I recently realized that lots of skaters seem to be accepting absolutely anybody and everybody who asks to friend them. And these don't seem to be facebook accounts that are similar to an official site - with only skating/public information, but their own personal accounts, with private family pictures and stuff relating to their SO's.

    Is it just me - this seems so weird and creepy, not to mention stupid.
  31. Carolla5501

    Carolla5501 Well-Known Member

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    I am amazed at what folks post on Facebook and then they act upset that it gets out.

    My "profile" and postings contain NOTHING that I would be the least bit concerned about if it the whole world saw them...

    My name is the only "personal" thing on there :)
  32. Prancer

    Prancer Ray Chill Staff Member

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    My husband doesn't have a Facebook page, so we don't do that, but we have been known to email each other while we're both in the house, and sometimes I post things on my kids' Facebook pages while they are in the house, too.

    With my husband, it happens when we are both working on stuff--I will grading papers on one of the upstairs computer and he will be working on homework on one of the computers downstairs. Sure, we could get up and have a face-to-face conversation, but it's faster and less disruptive to email. Sometimes we are talking about things regarding the children we don't want them to overhear--and it's hard to do that in our particular house.

    With the kids, I post in response to something they say on Facebook, so it seems like Facebook is the best place to put it. I will say that we don't have entire conversations that way, but occasional comments back and forth, sure. And I would probably do the same with my husband if he had a Facebook page (not likely) and if he ever posted on it (even less likely).

    Why? Sincere question; if I'm doing something unhealthy, I'd like to know what it is.
  33. Teresa Dawn

    Teresa Dawn New Member

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    I just change my settings to what I want for each thing. I have quite a few friends I've met over forums and I let them see certain photos, but some photos I only allow family to see for example. Some I even allow friends of friends or everybody depending on what it is, but I definately change each and everything according to what it is... every single status and note I take the time to set the appropriate privacy level for. It works for me.

    I make half my living designing games for facebook so I can't quit it haha!
  34. Norlite

    Norlite New Member

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    I've always instant messaged everyone and anyone, (husband, kids grandkids) in the same house.

    I'll be upstairs, they'll be downstairs, working or whatever and just need to say a word or two, why get up? Or yell through the house?

    And as far as facebook, my husband never had one, but I comment on the kid's stuff all the time. Even if they're right beside me.


    It just occurred to me all I had to post was :

    ^^same

    to Prancer's post.

    I think it's quite common in most households.
  35. numbers123

    numbers123 Well-Known Member

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    we frequently text or email when we are in the same house. His office is in another part of the house and generally he has his music up loud. He keeps the door to the office closed as a way to regulate the temperature and often does not hear the doorbell. Yelling or intercoming isn't nearly as effective. husband does not have a facebook page.

    I do communicate to our kids via status updates on facebook, but then they are all out of our house and in their own homes.

    The older kids adhere to the grandpa rule. Would they want grandpa to read it - yes, then it goes on - no, then they don't post. The youngest and his wife have not learned the grandpa/grandma rule. And what they post is :eek:. I have had to recommend that they remove something or consider consequences of posting that.

    By the way - This morning I found a setting that I think will be most useful, if I ever think my account has been compromised. Under account settings, account security, click change, selected the "would I like to receive notifications for login's from new devices?" Now I will get notifications of whenever I logon to facebook from a workstation other than my primary one. And if someone has been logging on to my facebook account with my previous password, it has been changed to something that someone would need to know about a specific childhood experience of mine plus some numbers.
    Last edited: May 16, 2010
  36. Indra486

    Indra486 Well-Known Member

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    From FB's terms:

    I absolutely hate this phrase and the only pictures I upload are the ones in which I paste smiley face on top of mine. Now, the problem is when I'm tagged by friends in their pictures.

    I'm inclined to believe that while the material is deleted, I doubt that those photos are permanently deleted like they suggest in term number 2. I'm inclined to believe that it's still stored in their database. Why? When you terminate your account, your info is still there for 14 days in the event that you change your mind. Even then, if the 14 days pass, I still think it's there. Call me crazy. :shuffle:
  37. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    I've had friends delete and reactivate their accounts with months in between and all their old tags automatically show up again in my pictures of them and whatnot. So I would agree with you that it's still there.
  38. algonquin

    algonquin Well-Known Member

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    I just find it odd that people put the these types of posts on their walls instead of sending a private message.
  39. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    Email is private. As is IMing. We're talking about the people having a conversation on a FB wall for everyone to see. And not wife posted a link and husband comments. I have seen, literally, conversations about what's for dinner or who's picking up the kids and such things. On a FB wall. One posting from the kitchen and the other from the living room. Conversations that go on for ten or twelve comments. Someone get up and go in the other room because your friends do not care about it. Or at least use the IM. Also, the mushy crap. "Happy anniversary to the best husband/wife ever" and that sort of thing. Just like the posts to babies, they are just trying to tell us all it is their anniversary. So why don't they just post that.
  40. Prancer

    Prancer Ray Chill Staff Member

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    I don't know about anyone else, but I don't care about most of what people post on their Facebook pages and I always assume no one cares about most of mine, either. If I am not interested in what someone is posting, I scroll on by, just like I do here. For one thing, I don't see much point in reading 10-12 posts that don't concern me--which applies equally well to any FB conversation on someone else's wall that doesn't concern me, whatever it may be about.

    It seems to me that a Facebook page is there for the convenience of the person who owns the page, not for entertainment of the "Friends." A lot of my "Friends" use Facebook to make arrangements for things like meeting for dinner or to talk about softball games I don't attend or to post comments meant for a subset of their Friends' list that I'm not part of; I don't see much difference between that and posting about what's for dinner. It's a discussion between the people involved; does it really matter if they are sitting right beside each other or three states apart?
    cholla and (deleted member) like this.