"Sissy boy" therapy

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Gazpacho, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. Gazpacho

    Gazpacho Well-Known Member

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    Tears are streaming down my face after reading this.

    Tears of sorrow for Kirk and his grieving siblings, of course, but mostly tears of anger. Anger at the hateful hypocrite George Reker and those who supported him and the many who still support his belief. Anger at his abusive parents who now blame it all on the therapy. And perhaps above all, anger that some people are so incapable of feeling guilt or culpability that they'll never get a taste of the mental anguish they've put others through.

    Sadly, there are Kirk Murphy's created every day. A gay classmate whose parents tried to "correct" him also committed suicide.

    A recent FSU thread revealed disdain for parents who are trying to raise a "genderless" child, but whatever potential damage they do surely can't match what Kirk Murphy experienced.
     
  2. barbk

    barbk Well-Known Member

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    That makes me ill.
     
  3. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    So sad. Thank you for that article, though. I am in a Sexuality course this summer and we have to find an article to write a short paper on. This will be what I use.
     
  4. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    :mad: "Dr." Reker needs to be punched in his f****g mouth. What an awful thing to do to someone.
     
  5. MR-FAN

    MR-FAN Kostner Softie

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  6. overedge

    overedge Well-Known Member

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    Bad enough that Reker was promoting this twisted "therapy", but even worse that he was a hypocrite on top of this. I didn't realize until I read to the end of the story that he was the anti-gay crusader who claimed that his rentboy was only hired to carry his vacation luggage.

    It also sickens me that no one at the university or the funding agency apparently thought anything was wrong with Reker's "study", or had any concerns about the damage it might cause.
     
  7. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

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    Agreed. As does Kirk's mother who considers herself blameless in this whole incident. Really, really disturbing.
     
  8. IceAlisa

    IceAlisa Port de bras!!!

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    OK, I don't think I want to open that link.
     
  9. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

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    Dreadful. How very sad that things like this can happen. Makes me wonder how these people can sleep at night. I think the parents deserve every bit of unhappiness they get. I do however feel very sorry for the siblings.
     
  10. PeterG

    PeterG Argle-Bargle-ist

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    Boys being feminine = female is bad.

    Our world needs to get over it's hatred of females.

    What makes you think they are damaging their children? :confused: They are doing the opposite of George A. Rekers (I refuse to call him "Dr." Rekers). These parents are loving their children for who they are, regardless of gender. Complete acceptance.

    I see very little of that kind of acceptance in the Murphy family... :(
     
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  11. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

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    Trying to raise a "genderless" child simply means that you don't impose beliefs, values and myths about gender on your child. It's not damaging, it's liberating, because it gives children the freedom to be who they really are and a better chance to become well-rounded people. Girls can play with trucks if they like and boys can play with dolls. You can play ball with your daughters and your sons, and make cookies with your daughters and your sons. Good skills are learned in the process for both.

    Society genders children enough of its own and does a fair bit of damage in the process. Parents can helps their kids to deal with that or make it even harder.

    I'm also bothered by the notion that a boy who likes to play with dolls is going to grow up gay. And by the idea that effeminate = gay. There are plenty of heterosexual men with qualities deemed effeminate and plenty of gay men with qualities deemed macho. Those labels in themselves are damaging.
     
  12. antmanb

    antmanb Well-Known Member

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    I cannot express how angry that article makes me. Disgusted with the mother who is trying to shift the blame. If she feels that sicko "Dr" had any hand in her son's suicide, she should acknowledge equal or more blame.
     
  13. Gazpacho

    Gazpacho Well-Known Member

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    My comment about them damaging their children reflected not my personal opinion but rather some of the comments on the other FSU thread.

    The mother's comments in the Murphy case pissed me off like you wouldn't believe.
    Ma'am, back then it was considered abuse too.
    I blame YOU just as much. They had him for 10 months. You carried out your abuse and hatred for decades. You call George Reker a murderer, wanna see another murderer? Look in the mirror.

    Perhaps that's what angers me the most--the fact that these people are incapable of guilt and culpability. :mad:
     
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  14. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    And look how "cute" and "sexy" some men (and some women) think it is to wear men's clothes. And how many women in the business world and in politics are told pretty much to "take it like a man". If the situation were reversed, the guy is targeted for ridicule, unless he is doing it for fun or entertainment.
     
  15. beepbeep

    beepbeep Resident Rude Brazilian

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    Wow, I just... can't :(
    Words fail me on how horrible this is...
     
  16. Satellitegirl

    Satellitegirl New Member

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    I'm glad that there are more and more people speaking up and telling kids to be themselves, and it gets better as you get older(like in the youtube campaign going on). I hope more of these stories will be prevented :(.
     
  17. aliceanne

    aliceanne Well-Known Member

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    Behaviorist therapy was a big deal in the 70's (B.F. Skinner, Pavlov's dogs, Brave New World). You were supposed to cure the perceived dysfunctional behavior through a system of rewards and punishments. The focus was on changing the behavior, not trying to analyze what caused it.

    This seems extreme even for the 70's though. Brothers and sisters frequently play with each others toys when they are young. It's a time to use your imagination and experiment. My parents were pretty traditional and they didn't stress over it.
     
  18. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    You don't have to hide a child's biological sex from the world to do that. I spent every summer playing ball with my dad, while my brother preferred not to. I spent hours sorting baseball cards and going to card shows with my dad--something else my brother was not interested in. My brother and I both spent enough time in the kitchen with mom to learn to cook and are both great cooks. My brother's great disappointment when his baby sister got old enough to play was the discovery that I would indeed play with his toys--including trucks and G.I. Joe. My nephew is 16 now and one of his favorite things is to bake cookies with me in the summer because he's been doing it since he was four and a half.

    Yet everyone always knew I was a girl and my brother and nephew were boys. It's the whole hiding of the child's biological sex that is potentially damaging. Children can be raised in a perfectly healthy and natural way to do anything they want regardless of gender stereotypes without the publicity stunt that family is pulling.
     
  19. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    They're refusing to tell people the child's SEX. Sex is a biological fact, no matter what the brain believes or even what body parts you chop off or sew on or what clothes you wear. Let the kids play with whatever toys they want (I'm a heterosexual female and I played with toy guns and action figures) but don't avoid telling them or anyone else if they're male or female. That is going leave them screwed up and hopelessly confused.
     
  20. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    If that child is female, what message is she being sent by being told that her femaleness is something that must be hidden? Particularly as her brothers' sex was not hidden.
     
  21. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    Girls are victims and chosing to play in a femnine way if you're biologically female is something to be ashamed of?
     
  22. figurefan

    figurefan New Member

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    My late mother used to say that those that preach the hardest against something have either done it, are doing it or want to do it.

    What a horrible story...his brother and sister seem to be just as traumatized as he was...

    I blame the parents as well as the therapist. My parents raised kids during the same time period and would have never participated in this type of "therapy". We were spanked (not beaten) as kids because we did something wrong like lie, cheat or other types of bad behavior that deserved punishment.

    There is no sense in this genderless garbage either. Just let the kids develop their own likes, dislikes and interests. Sometimes my brother played Barbies with me and I played army men with him...we both turned out OK.
     
  23. Ziggy

    Ziggy Well-Known Member

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    This kind of therapy can often result in various forms of neurosis developing, alongside many others negative psychological consequences.

    That's what happens when therapy isn't regulated properly. I just can't understand why psychologists aren't regulated properly like doctors. Clearly, self-regulation has proven to be insufficient.

    In many countries, "therapists" using those methods can practice with impunity.

    Germany is the only country I am aware of (there are more, I'm sure - or at least hope) where the regulations are suitably strict and such person wouldn't be allowed to practice legally.

    You do realise that what is considered "female behaviour" is cultural and socialised, right?

    I do find it hilarious how terrified not knowing somebody's biological sex (what kind of biological sex though?) makes people. F****** gender binary. Blergh.
     
  24. Civic

    Civic New Member

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    Several posters have blamed Kirk Murphy's mother for allowing her son to be abused in this manner. What about his father? What man beats his child hard enough to raise welts on his body just because some psychologist says so? And not to make any excuses for George Rekers, but did he realize at the time how severely Kirk's father was beating him for racking up red chips?

    Kirk's elder brother, Mark, describes a tense, fearful atmosphere in their home during this time. He dreaded seeing the chip count when he came home to school because he knew red chips meant his brother was going to get another beating. To his credit, he tried to protect his little brother, but he was just a child himself.
     
  25. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    The child in question is not being told that his/her behavior is wrong or right, but that it is necessary to hide his/her biological sex. A vagina is not something that is cultural or socialized. It's something the half of the population born female just has. If that child is female, she is receiving the message that having female body parts is something that must be hidden from the outside world whereas her brothers, who have penises (again, not something socialized or cultural, people born male just have them), do not have to hide that.

    That's not healthy.
     
  26. Satellitegirl

    Satellitegirl New Member

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    I agree with those who said that the child should know their sex...but should be allowed to play and dress however they want. Shiloh(Brad and Angelina's little girl) is a good example of letting the child express themselves how they want.
     
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  27. milanessa

    milanessa engaged to dupa

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    Anderson Cooper's show tonight (10pm EST) is about this.
     
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  28. AYS

    AYS Cruder than you thought

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    I think people singled out the mother in their comments only because she is quoted extensively in the article in a way that leads you to believe she considers herself blameless and is 100% blaming Rekers. (And the dad isn't quoted at all in the article). Eg:
    Not that folks think she is more blameworthy than the dad. Both of them are guilty in this, IMO, because you have to be an absolute moron to not realize there was something seriously wrong in what they were doing, on a number of levels, whether an expert was telling you to do it or not.

    Horrible. :(
     
  29. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

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    How dreadful and tragic.
    The parents are as much to blame as the "Doctor" for condoning and participating in this "therapy" --- never mind their responsibility for their own attitudes and actions.

    I hope that this report helps to end this sort of "behavior modification"/sexual identity alternation "therapy" forever.
     
  30. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    Well, I hope the mother and father can sleep at night....I would not be able to.