Should I go to the hospital?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Gazpacho, Jan 31, 2014.

  1. barbk

    barbk Well-Known Member

    6,030
    561
    113
    Hi Gazpacho,

    Just checking in...have you been able to contact a therapist yet? NinjaTurtles had some great suggestions.

    Thinking about you out here in snowland.
     
  2. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

    17,561
    1,170
    113
    Gazpacho, please check in with us. We just want to know how you are doing. We are a bunch of mother hens and we worry.
     
  3. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

    18,036
    2,386
    113
    Continuing to keep you in my prayers and thoughts, Gazpacho. Please check in when you can.
     
    Gazpacho and (deleted member) like this.
  4. Aceon6

    Aceon6 Get off my lawn

    6,691
    1,149
    113
    Gaz, have a hug. They're free and we have lots of them.
     
    Gazpacho and (deleted member) like this.
  5. kwanatic

    kwanatic Well-Known Member

    2,041
    477
    83
    Do something, anything, that gives you joy or makes you happy: a funny book or tv show, a favorite place or food...anything, even if the happiness is only for a short time. Try to focus on that as much as possible and know that people here care and are concerned about you.

    Stay strong Gaz.
     
  6. immoimeme

    immoimeme my posts r modded

    8,266
    910
    113
    I hope today was better than yesterday and tomorrow better than both. Let us know how you are :)
     
    Gazpacho and (deleted member) like this.
  7. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

    14,625
    2,503
    113
    We care and are concerned about you.
    (((((Gazpacho)))))
     
  8. LilJen

    LilJen Well-Known Member

    9,924
    1,683
    113
    ((((Gazpacho))) Hoping you are doing better.
     
  9. Gazpacho

    Gazpacho Well-Known Member

    5,339
    687
    113
    Yesterday and today have been bad. Yesterday I was supposed to go to physical therapy but started panicking. Now I've missed four physical therapy appointments in a row, so they'll probably kick me out as a patient. Today I've been feeling basically the same.

    That would be great if it were feasible, but it's not. I'm in a remote area with few psychiatrists. There are doctors in the city about a hour from here, but when I can't even get out of bed, it's impractical and unsafe to drive over an hour. I used to see someone in that city but left because it was so hard to get to appointments that I missed a lot of them.

    The psychiatrists in town that get good reviews aren't taking any new patients.


    That's part of the problem. Nothing gives me pleasure these days. I had hobbies and was really excited about learning to paint a month ago, but these days I feel just as depressed on the rare occasions when I've done it.

    My absolute favorite thing in the world is the Olympics, and they're starting tonight, and I don't even feel like watching :(

    Thanks for all your support.
     
    LilJen and (deleted member) like this.
  10. backspin

    backspin Active Member

    996
    124
    43
    Thanks so much for checking in with us! Turn the olympics on anyway, maybe something will catch your attention.

    I like painting too! If you ever want to talk about art or share your stuff I'd welcome that.
     
  11. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    11,214
    1,039
    113
    I agree with backspin. Turn on the Olympics anyway. Habits get us day to day without thinking too hard about how we feel about them. And that's what you need right now - something to get you from day to day.

    I'm so glad you're checking in with us. :) Are there any family and friends in the area who can come over and support you? It's so much harder when you're handling it all by yourself, especially when you have physical therapy appointments riding on it. You don't have to face this alone.
     
  12. CynicElle

    CynicElle Well-Known Member

    2,174
    373
    83
    I'm glad you checked in again, but so sorry things aren't any better. I don't have any useful advice, but I do care about how you're doing.
     
  13. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

    17,561
    1,170
    113
    Gazpacho, we are all so thankful that you have posted. We love you!
     
  14. immoimeme

    immoimeme my posts r modded

    8,266
    910
    113
    I'm glad you let us know whats happening. We wondered where you were! Plz tune in Olympics and watch along with us! :)
     
  15. quartz

    quartz turn around turn around it's on the other side

    2,462
    1,904
    113
    So glad you have posted, Gazpacho.
    I know that all you want to do right now is to curl up in bed and shut the world out, but please try to make yourself at least turn your tv on and put the Olympics on. It may just spark a bit of interest, and at this point, even a tiny flicker of anything positive will help, even if it's just for a few fleeting moments. Grab on to whatever you can....healing at this point is going to be in teeny tiny baby steps. And that's okay.
    Who are your favorite skaters? What are you looking forward to the most at these Olympics? Are you following any other threads here on FSU?
    sending you more positive thoughts,
    Peace and love,
    Judi
     
  16. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

    18,036
    2,386
    113
    Thank you for posting, Gazpacho. Take care of yourself and take it a day at a time. We're rooting for you, and someone's always here to listen and to let you know how much we care about you. Hang in there.
     
  17. Gazpacho

    Gazpacho Well-Known Member

    5,339
    687
    113
    I watched a little of the Olympics but completely wasn't interested and stopped watching after about half an hour, went back to bed, and cried. Don't know the results and don't care. So uncharacteristic, and I know I'll regret it because the next chance to watch a Winter Olympics is four years away. :( I wish so much that I could trade places with Jesse, as I'm sure he would have loved to be here to see these Olympics.
     
  18. Vash01

    Vash01 Fan of Julia, Elena, Anna, Liza, and Vera

    26,863
    4,053
    113
    Gazpacho, I love to paint, but I too run into lethargy from time to time and don't feel like taking out the things- paints, canvas, brushes. So I do a lot of sketching. Is this something that interests you? All you need is a paper and pencils.

    I still think that if you call a help line and get a live person at the other end, you could get out of the box you find yourself in. Don't try to do too much. Just one small step at a time.

    I hope you feel better.
     
  19. attyfan

    attyfan Well-Known Member

    7,485
    825
    113
    Gazpacho -- praying for you.
     
  20. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

    18,036
    2,386
    113
    I'm praying for you too. *hugs* You can get through this. Keep seeking help and don't give up. You are worth it.
     
  21. overedge

    overedge Well-Known Member

    18,196
    2,774
    113
    ^^What Wyliefan said. You *are* worth it!!
     
  22. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    11,214
    1,039
    113
    Every little step helps. It doesn't even matter if you're interested or if you feel like doing it. Every little step will help.

    Can you call your psychiatrist again? Or your therapist? They must have protocols in place for a patient who's so down she can't come to her appointments.

    And I'm sure Jesse would tell you to stay right where you are. ((HUGS))
     
  23. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

    4,373
    918
    113
    Gazpacho, I'm so sorry for the pain you're enduring and hope that you feel better soon.

    I know this isn't much, but I want to tell you that I do enjoy your posts and they make me smile on many occasions. :)
     
  24. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

    17,561
    1,170
    113
    Gazpacho, I am so worried about you. Is someone with you? Are you eating? Please call your psychiatrist again. Tell him you are in an emergency situation. He needs to either refer you to someone else or do something for you. I know what it's like to not even want to bother with things that I typically love to do. That is significant. To address that you might miss the Olympics, can you DVR or record it some other way? That way you won't feel bad, when you feel better. Does exercise help you, at all? I know that when I feel really bad, going out and power walking helps. Especially if it's cold outside. It helps to clear my head, and gets the body's natural antidepressants going.

    As to Jesse. He would be right here encouraging you to do everything it takes to get better. He would want you to be here and happy. Fight for yourself, in his honor. Maybe that will help you push through.

    We all care about you! XOXOXOXO!
     
  25. Aceon6

    Aceon6 Get off my lawn

    6,691
    1,149
    113
    (((Gaz))) You made me happy today by posting!
     
  26. barbk

    barbk Well-Known Member

    6,030
    561
    113
    Hi Gazpacho,

    I know this is so hard. The hardest. Please consider calling the helpline again. We care, and we want to see you get the help you deserve.
     
  27. tarotx

    tarotx Well-Known Member

    1,573
    141
    63
    Hello. I'm sorry you are feeling low. It's horrible thing to go through because you know others technically have it worse and that it's not fair for them. Life is never fair :( Don't think about Jesse or anyone else in a time like this. Only think about yourself and your loved ones (including your internet stranger friends ;) ) who care about your well being.

    Keep talking to your dr. And if you're not improving, change drs before you even think about self harm or any potential harm.

    When I feel sooo low I force myself to go out. I don't handle people well so I go places I don't have to talk but there are people around. I go to the library and go on their computers there (even though I have internet here at home) or sit and try to enjoy a light read (a small romance novel or a bunch of fashion magazines). Or I go somewhere else public. Go To White Castles and drink a bunch of coffee reading a book I brought with me. Or I go sit at the hospital cafeteria and do the same.

    If you are at a very bad place and really need someone to talk to who might have a few similar interest as you perhaps you can get some of our numbers just to talk.

    Remember you have people who care about you. Even if we might not know you outside the internet.
     
  28. immoimeme

    immoimeme my posts r modded

    8,266
    910
    113
    I know it's frustrating to make art when you feel you can't make art but it's also possible on those days to discover new ways to make art. Art can help even when you least expect it. Can you make some new art today?

    I wish I could help more. Let us know how you're doing.
     
  29. mag

    mag Well-Known Member

    7,677
    2,913
    113
    Just stopping in to say "hi." I too enjoy your posts and hope that you can find your way through this darkness. I'm thinking about you.
     
  30. Gazpacho

    Gazpacho Well-Known Member

    5,339
    687
    113
    The psychiatrist is back. He's added Latuda, an anti-psychotic I've never heard of. Does anyone know about this? He prescribed a low dose that has been found effective for bipolar rather than the normal dose that's used for schizophrenia. I'm scared because of the potential for weight gain and because it's a pretty new drug. I asked if I could stop one of the other drugs, and he said no.

    Along with all the other drugs I have to take for my autoimmune disorder, it's embarrassing going to the pharmacy. Not to mention expensive.

    I refuse to take yet another drug, and I also refuse to continue to take drugs that haven't been effective. So I'm going to stay on Lamictal but stop Lexapro and Wellbutrin. I don't care what the doctor says. I'll read up a little more about Latuda and decide about that.