Should I go to the hospital?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Gazpacho, Jan 31, 2014.

  1. jlai

    jlai Title-less

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    Can't say it better myself. I enjoy your posts and I hope you'll find some help. We'll be here to support you
     
  2. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, please do.

    I'm so glad you're still with us and that you're giving us honest updates, Gazpacho. It really means a lot to everyone here, and I hope it's helping you too. We're all rooting for you.
     
  3. Jasmar

    Jasmar Active Member

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    I'd really, strongly encourage you to call the help line again, the one that helped a bit the other night. If your suicidal thoughts are strengthening, you've got to have help.

    Still praying for you.
     
  4. sk8pics

    sk8pics Well-Known Member

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    {{{Gaspacho}}} Please hang in there. I'm glad you may have some treatment options. Please give them a try, and give them a chance to work. We are all here for you.
     
  5. AragornElessar

    AragornElessar Well-Known Member

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    Gazspacho, please keep in touch w/us and if things are getting worse, please take that chance and go to that Clinic. Even if it's only a stop gap measure to get you through until your regular Doc is back, please go for it. You know we're here.
     
  6. immoimeme

    immoimeme my posts r modded

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    Again, I dunno if I can help, but I'll leave the phone on tonight. Wake me up, it's okay. :)
    And Monday is almost here . Let us know how you're doing.
     
  7. Vash01

    Vash01 Fan of Julia, Elena, Anna, Liza, and Vera

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    (((Gazpacho))) ....sending you loving thoughts. I hope you get stronger in your mind and peaceful in your thoughts. Have a good night's sleep. I hope you wake up happy.
     
  8. barbk

    barbk Well-Known Member

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    Hi Gazpacho,

    I hope you're able to get better access to resources now that we're past the weekend. Were you able to make an appointment with the clinic?
    We're still thinking about you and here to support you.
     
  9. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

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    ^^^
    Seconding all the above!
     
  10. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

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    (((Gazpacho))) I know how bad you feel and how desperate it can get. Please try to hold on with the help of anyone who loves you, until some kind of treatment plan is put in place. Also, try to remember that if you're feeling as bad as you describe, even getting up and dressed is a victory. Some ignorant people may dismiss such an idea, but they don't know how much you're suffering. And please keep posting. If you'd like to share what you're feeling in more detail or exchange experiences of feeling suicidal, by all means PM me. I can't promise to say anything that will make you feel better, because everyone's experience of mental illness is unique, but possibly you won't feel so alone.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2014
  11. rudi

    rudi Well-Known Member

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    (((Gazpacho)))

    Hang in there. Remember this, too, shall pass, and there are brighter days ahead. Also, as others have said, don't beat yourself up about not applying for that job, or whatever else you don't feel up to doing right now. There will be other jobs; there always are. Just concentrate on getting better. Find little things that you can enjoy/look forward to, like the watching the Olympics (am making the assumption that you might be a figure skating fan. ;) )

    Hopefully since the weekend is over, your Dr. will be available today. I have never heard of ketamine (looked it up when I read what you wrote about it.) Sounds interesting; it doesn't hurt to check it out and explore that option In the event that it may be able to help.

    Sending many positive vibes your way.
     
  12. Vash01

    Vash01 Fan of Julia, Elena, Anna, Liza, and Vera

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    I second what Orientalplane wrote. You are not alone. We will support you to the extent we can, through PM or phone calls (as another poster suggested). Please try to get help from a doctor or a nurse. It's Monday now. I hope you have lots of luck finding the help you need. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. Hugs.
     
  13. NinjaTurtles

    NinjaTurtles Teenage Mutant

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    Gazpacho, does you psychiatrist only manage your medication routine or do you also receive concomitant treatments (e.g., psychotherapy)?

    Ketamine could provide possible short-term relief; however you'll likely have to pay out of pocket for an infusion, as it is not an approved treatment for depression. If the clinic is two hours away, you should probably have someone drive you there and back (if possible). Many of the effects of Ketamine can impair driving.
     
  14. Gazpacho

    Gazpacho Well-Known Member

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    Well, this has been a disappointing day. The nearest ketamine clinic (over 2 hours away) said that I'll first need to go for an evaluation and then will have to have at least once weekly, preferably 2-3 times weekly, infusions for 6 to 8 weeks. I don't know why that's their policy. I asked about getting it one time, and they said no, they only do it over an extended period. I can't figure out why except that maybe they're gathering the data for research purposes. So that's out of the question.

    I got a hold of the psychiatrist's assistant who got a hold of the psychiatrist, and I was able to speak with him briefly. My psychiatrist had never head about ketamine treatment for depression. He said to go back on Wellbutrin. I reminded him that I went off Wellbutrin because it didn't work. I had tried it a couple years ago, two different doses, and then 3-4 months last year. It's always been like water--no effect. But he said that maybe the dose wasn't right, so he wants me to try another dose.

    I don't want to try Wellbutrin yet again when it's never done anything before. He was pushing Pristiq last time I saw him, but now he says he doesn't want to try that for another month or two.

    I can't go on like this. I need to try something new. My psychiatrist is probably thinking, as long as I'm this down, I won't commit suicide because I don't have the energy or motivation. That's acceptable to a doctor who undoubtedly has had patients commit suicide. But it's not acceptable to me.

    NinjaTurtles, I was seeing a therapist regularly, but in the past two months, I've been so down that I can't even get to her office.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2014
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  15. barbk

    barbk Well-Known Member

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    Gazpacho --maybe consider calling the helpline and seeing if they can help you get connected to someone soon? It doesn't sound like your current psychiatrist may be the help you need. Or, perhaps getting a second opinion might open up some new avenues.

    Can you call your old therapist and talk with her? Can she provide therapy on the phone? (I don't know what is possible on that front.)

    Is there a way any of us can be helpful?
     
  16. iloveemoticons

    iloveemoticons Well-Known Member

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    What about seeing your family doctor or any other family doctor if yours is booked? Family doctors are able to prescribe anti-depressants and often do. The important thing is that you see a doctor as soon as possible.
     
  17. Vash01

    Vash01 Fan of Julia, Elena, Anna, Liza, and Vera

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    I think it's a good idea. The family doctor could even recommend a psychiatrist to you, and you could get a quick appointment.

    I think seeing the past therapist may be a good idea too. He/she may be able to do something, like prescribing a drug that you feel comfortable with.

    As long as you do something about it, you are on the right track. If you don't feel you have the energy to do something, is there a family member or a friend that could give you a ride?
     
  18. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

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    I'll admit to not knowing much about ketamine, but I do know that some treatments, when given via infusion, have to be repeated several times. Maybe it's one of those.
     
  19. immoimeme

    immoimeme my posts r modded

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    That's not acceptable to me either esp from a professional who is supposed to be *helping* you. I think all the suggestions made sound like avenues to try. Try one then the other then another. The need for new is valid and perfectly understandable. It's out there! Sometimes it just appears! I hope you find it v v soon. Thanks for keeping us updated :)
     
  20. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    Can you ask exactly WHY you must go for the ketamine infusions for 6-8 weeks and not try it once? I do know people use Ketamine as a drug so perhaps they want to make sure it is going to people who truly need it for depression? If you are desperate enough, perhaps you could go for the infusion and not go back? Not very honest but you could always say it didn't work or you didn't like the side effects. If you do think it works you may find you have the energy and motivation to keep going back even if it is a long drive. That is my hope, it would work and make you want to keep going back. If it doesn't work, make sure it is safe (that you can stop cold turkey, etc) and don't return.
     
  21. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Agreed. Even little steps is forward progress toward getting better.

    I do find it disappointing that your current psychiatrist is being unhelpful, but it sounds like you have other options if it comes to that.
     
  22. sk8pics

    sk8pics Well-Known Member

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    {{{Gazpacho}}} Hang in there. You are taking positive steps, even though it might not feel like it.
     
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  23. AragornElessar

    AragornElessar Well-Known Member

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    I wish I could say I'm surprised by how your psychatrist treated you over the phone, but w/my own experiences I'm not. When a drug you *know* does not work is being pushed on you and you aren't being listened to, it's time to find a new Mental Health Professional. ITA w/the others about either talking to your previous Therapist or going to your Family Doctor and letting him/her know what's going on.

    Know we're all here thinking of you and also keeping you in our prayers. A really good friend of ours, her Husband is in Pallative Care now the Cancer's spread to his bones, she had a good cry the other night when talking to my Mom on the phone, which she needed because she's trying so hard to keep up a cheerful and also brave face when she's w/him. I guess she said she was at the end of her rope dealing w/all that's going on, because Mom told her...

    Just tie a good strong knot on the end of that rope and keep hanging on!!

    That's what you need to do and if all else fails....Remember that all of us have formed a really strong chain rope of holding hands of support and hang on to us as tight as you can.

    Hoping for a better day for you tomorrow.
     
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  24. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

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    Hugs, Gazpacho. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and not getting the help you need. Psych hospitals can be such horrible places.

    I second the advice to see a family doctor. But at worst, please go to the ER and lie to get a referral if you have to. It's your life on the line here.

    If you at least got some meds to just knock you out for a few days, might it help? From what I've seen that is pretty much all that folks get in psych hospital. A medicated break, after which a person has hopefully calmed down enough to see things more clearly. I'm sorry to say this, but you do sound to be in very rough shape.

    A better alternative might be to contact a mental health advocacy group in your area. Might there be one? Such groups or associations are often staffed by individuals who have a psych history and they tend to be on your side while trying to help you get the support you need.
     
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  25. rudi

    rudi Well-Known Member

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    Just wanted to check in and let you know that I am keeping you in my thoughts. Sending more virtual support and hugs your way.
     
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  26. NinjaTurtles

    NinjaTurtles Teenage Mutant

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    I'm not currently working with patients or in a clinical setting, so I'll be more candid than I am normally about these topics on FSU. I would strongly suggest looking for a comprehensive mental health group. Unfortunately, it it likely that there won't be one nearby, but it's worth investigating. By comprehensive I mean one clinic that houses/oversees a variety of practitioners, at the very least a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist (if there is also primary care services, that's a great bonus). In my opinion, a psychiatrist alone is not sufficient to address treatment-resistant depression. If you can see a therapist and physician that are colleagues and able to work collaboratively with you, that's a good avenue to explore.

    My bias towards comprehensive mental health promotion is going to show here, but the treatment you'll receive from a psychiatrist and a therapist will vary greatly. Similarly, the treatment you'll receive from a therapist will vary greatly from therapist to therapist. Therapist is a vague title that can refer to a lot of different degrees and training. In addition to working out your medication routine with your psychiatrist, please consider a consultation with a clinical psychologist. Obviously I can't comment on what education/therapy paradigm is best for your needs, but if you're combating depressive thoughts you may want to find someone with cognitive-behavioral training.

    If you are finding it difficult to meet with a therapist regularly, consider looking for a provider that practices Distance Therapy. GoodTherapy.org has an advanced search function that can help you find a therapist that does online counseling/phone therapy: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html

    Suicide ideation is a very serious concern and you deserve relief. Perhaps you can try to do some mindfulness meditation? This can be very effective in treating the cognitive symptoms of depression and works great in combination with psychopharmacological and other psychotherapeutic interventions. I know some like to recommend Dr. Tara Brach's free introductory, guided meditations: http://www.tarabrach.com/audioarchives-guided-meditations.html. There are a lot of free resources out there on mindfulness; it's not for everyone, but it can be worth a shot. :)

    (((Gazpacho))), I hope you're feeling better today.
     
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  27. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    Gazpacho, I am sending you another PM, re: meds. I hope you got my first one. XOXO

    I want to tell you that I am really proud of you. You are being pro-active. You are looking for solutions. This is a really good sign!
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2014
  28. quartz

    quartz it's just love, and miracles out of nowhere

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    Sorry to hear that there has been no progress in finding some support and relief in your situation, Gazpacho. :(
    Please know that there are many here that are thinking of you and sending positive and healing thoughts out to you.
    Keep posting, as it may be some relief just to type your feelings out. Someone is always around to lend a shoulder and words of encouragement and understanding.
    I hope you find your light again, very soon.
    Judi
     
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  29. KCC

    KCC Active Member

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    How I wish I could help. Hope your days improve and you find energy and joy again.
     
  30. Vash01

    Vash01 Fan of Julia, Elena, Anna, Liza, and Vera

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    Sending you love and support, Gazpacho. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
     
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