Random Wedding Questions: Need a guest perspective (threads merged)

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Murdoch, Dec 29, 2010.

  1. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    Ok FSU crowd, I have more faith in this bunch than anyone else... so -

    I am working on the program for the church for our wedding. Unfortunately, musically, I am not doing what most people do and so I can't figure out the wording/set up of how it should look.

    Here is what is going to happen:

    Song One:
    Grandmother's escorted in
    Groom's parents down the aisle
    Groom and groomsmen enter

    Song Two:
    Bridesmaids enter
    Bride enters with mother and grandfather (I don't want my own song!)

    Any idea what this should look like on the program? I have no idea where the word processional should go or what music should be listed...

    TIA!
     
  2. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    Ok, there are a few things I am contemplating - but don't know whether or not to do them. So, random questions - think as a wedding guest!

    1) I was contemplating doing programs for the reception, but I have a lot of faith in our MC, plus there are surprises along the way. Do you like to know how much of the program is left, don't know, don't care?

    2) We are doing a buffet dinner - people say I need menus (I will withhold my response). Do you like to know what your choices are before you get up there (especially since you can then plan the lay of the land on your plate), or you like a surprise or you don't care?

    3) There is a break between the church and the reception, which is apparently becoming more and more taboo... but we have planned something in between at the bar we met at - unfortunately kids cannot be involved, though this doesn't effect alot of our guests. FMIL thinks I should plan something for families too (again I will withhold my response). Thoughts?

    4) The decor. How much does the decor of the hall REALLY matter? It looks pretty when you walk in, the tables are colorful, and I didn't do table runners, I used rose petals instead... my mother wants table runners. I think it would be too much color (our colors are lime green and purple - say HELLO to popping color everywhere)... I told her it won't matter. People will remember the band and the food. Thoughts?

    Ok - done with wedding surveys now... Cheers!
     
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  3. nubka

    nubka Well-Known Member

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    I've never been to a wedding were there was a printed program. It seems alright the way you have it - just take off the I'm not having music part. I wouldn't explain about not having music, just don't have it.
     
  4. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    1) I did not do any sort of program for the reception. Let your MC and/or DJ handle it. People generally know what to expect anyway.

    2) If the caterer or event manager organizes the buffet with enough space for people to get through and keeps them coming in a good--but not too quick pace--they shouldn't need menus. We didn't do it. People were just happy they were being fed a decent meal. (I can't tell you the number of weddings I have been to with Lilliputian portions of finger food served at dinner time!)

    3) That is a problem for guests with kids. Will the reception hall be open for them? If it is, make sure someone is there to welcome them and that drinks are available. If not, you need to have an idea for them at least.

    4) We had the country club decorate for the reception. White table cloths, candle center pieces, linen napkins in our colors. That was it. It looked simple and elegant. Too much can be tacky. So I would definitely say less is more.

    My biggest advice is to let go of all of it that morning. Don't worry about organizing any more that day or about who is doing what. Relax and enjoy your wedding. I know so many women who say they spent the whole day worrying about the next thing going exactly right that they didn't ever just enjoy the moment. Don't let that happen!

    Congrats!!!
     
  5. PrincessLeppard

    PrincessLeppard Pink Bitch

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    1. No programs
    2. No menu. It's a freakin' buffet. People are just going to overload their plates anyway.
    3. Maybe provide a sitter for the kids if the adults want to come to the bar? Beyond that, they chose to have kids, they can make their own plans. It's not about them and their kids.
    4. I don't give a crap about decor. I want food. ;)
     
  6. millyskate

    millyskate Well-Known Member

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    I'd say...
    1. No programs needed for the reception
    2. I do like having menus. Especially when you're not sure what the dish is just by looking at it...
    3. Maybe you can think of something the kids can do in the interval. Doesn't need to be something fancy, but depending on their ages, getting someone to supervise them while they make cards/ a work of art/prepare a song for the bride and groom or something... I went to a wedding where that was done, and it worked well.
    4. I like nicely decorated reception rooms. But if the hall already looks nice, and you have petals n stuff... you don't need to overdo it. If you feel table runners are over the top, they probably are.
     
  7. Jojo

    Jojo Active Member

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    1. Programs aren't necessary. At the reception, people are relaxed and just go with the flow.
    2. No menu necessary for the buffet. I've MC'ed once, and as part of my spiel, I talked about the buffet, the main components, and gave advice as to how to make the most of the limited real estate on your plate (i.e. bun in the pocket, pick up cutlery last, focus on the meat... just something to get a chuckle out of people)
    3. If you invited those guests and their children, it's up to you to make sure that all your guests are taken care of between the ceremony and reception. So you'll have to make sure that there's something for those who bring their kids, and their kidlets of course.
    4. Decor - less is more. Those are bright, attention-getting colours. A tiny bit in the room will go a long way.

    Good luck and tell us what you decide.
     
  8. pat c

    pat c Well-Known Member

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    1. No programs
    2. No menu - unless you know of someone who has a food allergy, than it might be nice to give them a heads up.
    3. We've gone to weddings when our kids were little, we dealt with a break in between the wedding and the reception. Parents will deal.
    4. Go with what you want. If you want less, do less.

    Aside, people can get a little silly with decorations. We went to one where they had an aisle runner. :rolleyes: I thought it was over the top.
     
  9. Habs

    Habs Well-Known Member

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    1. No programs for the reception. Our MC and DJ were both terrific so it wasn't necessary for us at all.
    2. No menu for the buffet. It's a buffet
    3. I would let the guests with kids take care of themselves. It's not up to you to be the cruise director in between the ceremony and reception. As someone mentioned, it would be nice if they can get into the reception site a bit earlier (and make refreshments available!) but beyond that, I wouldn't worry about it.
    4. Less is more with the decor. Don't overdo it - tasteful is good! We didn't do much decorating beyond centrepieces (very small) on the tables and some flowers by the guest book table. The room didn't need it.
     
  10. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    This is what ours looked like on the section for the ceremony. The names were not in parentheses. (I removed their names here). Our parents, grandparents, attendants, etc...were listed on the page before--we used a tri-fold.

     
  11. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    I would add that it was spaced more than that :)
     
  12. Twilight1

    Twilight1 Well-Known Member

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    1. No program for reception.
    2. A board that has the menu on entry would be nice...(I like to know what I am in for lol!) but not necessary.
    3. If entertainment was set for the other guests, IMHO, it seems unfair to exclude other guests with children esp if you invited them to be a part of the day. I can only speak for myself when I say that I would be offended by that. (But I am sensitive to that kind of stuff)
    4. I am a less is more type of person too when it comes to decor. I love simplicity and you picked bright colours. More than enough again IMHO.
     
  13. mag

    mag Well-Known Member

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    ITA with this. When I have taken my kids to a wedding, we usually like a break between the ceremony and the reception. It gives us time to take the kids to a park or somewhere to run off some energy so they will be content at the reception.
     
  14. flyingsit

    flyingsit Well-Known Member

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    Personally I don't think programs are necessary. Everyone knows what's going to happen anyway.
     
  15. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    I've never been to a church ceremony without a program that lists the readings, the music, and the members of the wedding party. At outdoor weddings, I've never been given one.

    I have seen overly detailed ones and simple ones. Ours was simple. We were at a wedding once that listed how the bride and groom knew everyone in the wedding party, as in:

    Matron of Honor, Jane Smith--The Bride's College Roommate
    Flower Girl, Susie Doe--Younger Cousin of the Groom

    That was a bit much. Especially since it was pretty obvious that the flower girl was younger than the groom!
     
  16. Garden Kitty

    Garden Kitty Tranquillo

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    1. No programs
    2. No menu, but make sure the items are labelled on the table if something isn't obvious
    3. How long is the break? If possible it would be nice to at least suggest a place where families with kids could go during thre break, especially for out of town visitors who may not be familiar with the area.
    4. Doesn't matter to me. Go with your instinct and I'm sure it will be fine.
     
  17. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    See - this is why I come here!!

    Ok - no programs - THANK YOU!! I am forwarding this to my FMIL, who thinks it is the best idea ever!

    No menu either - it is a Ukrainian buffet - not hard quite honestly. My caterer does the labels up before hand - so I don't even need to worry about that (just found this out today).

    Break is 2:00-5:00 - I figure a good time for naps!! LOL! However, on our wedding website, we have a list of things people can do in and around town - so hopefully they will look there? We MIGHT be getting a bounce house for the hall, so if we do, perhaps I will get that set up a little earlier and open the hall for kids around 4 - though there will be a lot of people going in and out (vendor wise) around that time...

    I want to try a mock up of our table... because I don't think we need everything the mothers think we do...

    THANKS AGAIN!!!
     
  18. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    Programs are programs for me - but this one my grandmother is insisting on and my mother is doing... she is making a fan out of the program, so functional and serving a purpose. I just hate the wording! LOL!
     
  19. Aceon6

    Aceon6 Get off my lawn

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    1) I was contemplating doing programs for the reception, but I have a lot of faith in our MC, plus there are surprises along the way. Do you like to know how much of the program is left, don't know, don't care? Unless you need to prepare the guests for something (everyone move outside to watch the fireworks or a special guest entertainer who won't appear until 8:30 p.m.) programs are overkill.

    2) We are doing a buffet dinner - people say I need menus (I will withhold my response). Do you like to know what your choices are before you get up there (especially since you can then plan the lay of the land on your plate), or you like a surprise or you don't care? Identifying the food may be helpful to those who need to restrict their diets. A description in the buffet line is usually sufficient.

    3) There is a break between the church and the reception, which is apparently becoming more and more taboo... but we have planned something in between at the bar we met at - unfortunately kids cannot be involved, though this doesn't effect alot of our guests. FMIL thinks I should plan something for families too (again I will withhold my response). Thoughts? How big is the break? If it's more than 2 hours, you'll need somewhere for the out of towners to go. Remember, many will check out of their hotels in the morning and may not have any options.

    4) The decor. How much does the decor of the hall REALLY matter? It looks pretty when you walk in, the tables are colorful, and I didn't do table runners, I used rose petals instead... my mother wants table runners. I think it would be too much color (our colors are lime green and purple - say HELLO to popping color everywhere)... I told her it won't matter. People will remember the band and the food. Thoughts? Personally, I hate runners. Folks always seem to catch their stemware or silverware on them.
     
  20. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    I will be honest, I would not be happy at all if I had to do something between the wedding and reception, whether I had kids or not. Is it safe for everyone to go to a bar, where I presume everyone will drink, and then drive to the reception? I know people can be DD but they will not enjoy that at all. At least at the reception there is food, music to dance to, big tables to sit, etc. I can't stand when the wedding parties don't take ANY photos before the wedding which means everyone is waiting at the reception for an hour or so before it can really get started. I know this is your wedding but I would skip the bar trip, maybe incorporate that into a pre wedding party somehow?
     
  21. genevieve

    genevieve drinky typo pbp, closet hugger Staff Member

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    Looks like you've got all your answers already, but I'll add mine too -

    1) No program. The only reason I can see for a program is if there will be a special performance - I am a performer and many of my friends' weddings have included things not usually found in wedding receptions. No one has ever used a program though, so I still wouldn't bother with the expense and the waste of paper.

    2) No menus on tables, but agree that it would be good to have a sign somewhere that identifies the food, particularly if you have any guests with dietary restrictions.

    3) I was going to say it depends on how long the break is. 3 hours is a long time. I think it depends on how many guests with kids there are and how left out they're going to feel at being the only ones excluded (i.e. how close are you to them?). Also - how long is the reception? Sounds like a very long day, some folks may cut out after the bar.

    4) No one will remember runners. Unless they get in the way somehow, and then they'll remember how awful they were. Decorate however you want!
     
  22. purple skates

    purple skates Shadow dancing

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    I agree with the majority on 1, 2, and 4.

    On 3, I think it depends on if the families with kids are from out of town or far away. If it were me and I had a small kid I was taking to a wedding (I wouldn't take a small kid to an in-town wedding, but that's a different subject) and I was not near enough to home to take them back for a few hours, then I would appreciate some suggestions for the kids. It looks like you are providing that on your website.
     
  23. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    We are doing a good chunk of photos beforehand, but not our full wedding party, full family, or bride/groom pictures. So, as we have it right now, we will depart the church, get family photos done, they go tot he hall, wedding party pictures done, they go to the hall. So, the hall will open earlier than we arrive.

    We have hired a bus to take guests from the bar to the reception and the bar is providing appetizers for our guests. I suppose we based our decisions on the majority of the guests we are inviting - many of whom went to an 11am wedding, with a 6pm reception earlier this year - so we figured 3 hours wasn't terrible.

    The earliest our band can start is 4:30 and we are only doing the buffet and midnight lunch. We have 225 guests to get seated, with drinks in a little over an hour at the hall - so, we figure that is a pretty lofty goal at this point! Our wedding party is helping to seat everyone, so that should be ok, and we have three bars to start, so that should also take some pressure off.

    The bar part is a HUGE part for us because it really is where we met, got to know each other, and really cultivated our relationship (sounds so not good) - but our of 225 guests, there are only nine sets of parents in the whole group... I just wonder how much to stress over making everyone happy...
     
  24. purple skates

    purple skates Shadow dancing

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    Not too much. It's your day. Remember that.
     
  25. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

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    For menus, I printed out a lovely one just to put by the start of the buffet table. Our wedding coordinator forgot it. :blah: No one seemed to care though.

    We had a break for wedding photos. No one cared. The reception was a good twenty, thirty minutes away, though. No one cared about that either!
     
  26. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    We have this on the website...

    Place: West Edmonton Mall
    Location: 8882 170 Street Northwest, Edmonton
    Attraction: Indoor skating in July, Galaxyland (rides and games), a full waterpark, mini-golf, Sea Caverns and over 800 stores and services (Feature Stores: Bed, Bath & Beyond, Bath & Body Works, Victoria's Secret and Build-a-Bear). Still the largest mall in North American, this is a playground for anyone!
    Admission: Depends on the attraction - see the website for complete information.
    Website: www.wem.ca/#/main/home/Main-Home

    Place: Fort Edmonton Park
    Location: 7000 - 143 Street, Edmonton
    Attraction: North America’s largest interactive historic park, Fort Edmonton Park is a place where time has stopped and is waiting for you to experience life as it was through four historical periods. Go back in time more than 150 years and walk through the days of the fur trade, and the pioneer years of 1885, 1905 and 1920 – costumed interpreters bring the past to life, answer your questions and invite you to experience the best of the period. Take a ride on a steam train, play pioneer games, bake bread the old-fashioned way, shop ‘til you drop, or hit the midway for rides games and more fun – it’s all right here waiting for you.
    Admission: Adult $13.75, Youth/Senior $10.50, Child $7.00, Family $41.50
    Website: www.fortedmontonpark.ca/pages/FortEdmonton/default.aspx

    Place: Telus World of Science
    Location: 11211 142 Street Northwest, Edmonton
    Attraction: Science centre featuring: Discoveryland, Environment Gallery, Forensics Gallery, Health Gallery, Robotics Lab, Space Gallery, Explorer Gallery, IMAX Theatre, Margaret Zeidler Star Theatre, and an Observatory.
    Admission: Adult $13.95, Youth/Senior $11.94, Child (4-12) $9.50, Family $54.95
    Website: www.edmontonscience.com/pages/home/default.aspx

    Place: Valley Zoo
    Location: 13315 Buena Vista Road, Edmonton
    Attraction: From wild exhibits and wilder animals to fun riders and educational programs, there's so much to see and do at the Valley Zoo! For a full visit, plan on spending two to three hours. Of course, mini-visits work too!
    Admission: Adults $10.50, Youth/Senior $8.00, Child $5.25, Family $31.50
    Website: www.valleyzoo.ca/pages/ValleyZoo/default.aspx

    Place: Royal Alberta Museum
    Location:12845-102nd Avenue, Edmonton
    Attraction: Featuring The Natural History Gallery, Wild Alberta, and an Aboriginal gallery, check the website for other feature exhibitions!
    Admission: Adults $10, Seniors (65+) $8, Youth (7-17) $5, Children (6 & under) Free, Family (2 adults and children) $28
    Note:If you go Sunday between 9 – 11 am, it is half price!
    Website: www.royalalbertamuseum.ca/general/intro.htm

    Place: Capital Ex
    Location: Northlands (7515-118 Ave NW), Edmonton
    Attraction: The yearly exhibition looks like it will have dates around our wedding! Rides, mini-donuts, great concerts (often free!), and a family friendly environment!
    Admission: Please see website for details
    Website: http://www.capitalex.ca/

    Plus, we were going to add the local pool and outdoor spray parks...
     
  27. genevieve

    genevieve drinky typo pbp, closet hugger Staff Member

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    It sounds like you've got the bases covered, I'm sure it will all be fine :)
     
  28. purple skates

    purple skates Shadow dancing

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    Murdoch, I think you are good with the kids part. Seriously. I only have one, but I would have been satisfied with that wealth of information.
     
  29. Murdoch

    Murdoch New Member

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    Phew! Thanks!
     
  30. Twilight1

    Twilight1 Well-Known Member

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    Murdoch- Biggest lesson I learned for my wedding day was that we were never going to please everyone. Nature of the beast I guess.

    It is your day do what you want to do and enjoy it!! :D