Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by ilovepaydays, Apr 2, 2013.
You can do that without being close in IQ. The sense of humor issue is often not one of IQ at all. It's about what you find quirky and what tickles your funny bone. That is often about life experiences and values, btw. I would say that someone with an IQ of 100 and one of 140 could have the same sense of humor, no problem.
there's a tumblr (I think?) of dating site profiles of guys who call themselves "nice guys" and then proceed to be incredibly angry and un-nice about all the hos who never gave them a chance (aka they are douchey jerks with no self awareness). I can't remember the name of it, I probably found out about it somewhere in FSU.
ETA: the tumblr was Nice Guys of OK Cupid and it looks like it's been taken down (I remember the owner got a lot of flak for showing real profiles). Here's an article about the site. I also remember the hilarious bro-speak of "FriendZoning"
I can talk about dance and art for a very, very long time. At home, at work, on the bus, in the shower.... there are other reasons I wouldn't want to date a dancer, but I could not have a serious relationship with someone who wasn't willing to see and discuss art sometimes. they don't have to have gone to school for it, and they don't have to love it as much as I do, but they have to be open to it.
what I do for work these days though? I don't even want to talk about it at work. I didn't go to school for it and it just pays the bills, though.
I agree with that. My husband makes a distinction between smart, clever and wise. And "wise" in the context means being able see the bigger picture, have an open mind, pay attention to the details of people's interactions; an ability to have a detached view, whether one applies it to a situation or not. I also think it has a link with a sense of humor.
To means 'wavelength' also refers to intellectual interests. I like being with a partner I can talk to about all sorts of stuff - books, movies, politics, world affairs, ideologies, history, social systems, religion. And academic conversations as well. We have very inspired discussions and debates - many, I must say, taken right off this board.
I love to explore ideas and I love learning, so it is important to me to be with someone I can do that with.
Of course other things matter too. A sense of humour is key and general personality compatibility. But I would feel quite lonely without the intellectual connection.
I think what you are talking about is being on the same wavelength. To you it may seem to be an intellectual thing and it's definitely not a physical/biological thing, but I think it's not really about IQ or smartness.
What's it about, then?
A similar level of IQ/smartness is part of being on the same wavelength. Even when it comes to a shared sensibility (i.e. artistic sensibility), I think IQ is an aspect. Mr. Japanfan and I aren't complete the same in terms of sensibilities, but we can understand each sensibilities and share them.
In some case I've connected with people intellectually because of their curiosity, or wit, rather than their intellectual orientation or knowledge. I can see that working for a relationship in some cases. But curiosity and wit are a reflection of IQ.
Everyone is misinterpreting by my use of the word "intellectual." I am referring to overall intelligence level, not Niles Crane type conversations. In other words, a person with a 140-IQ would likely be quite bored by someone with an IQ of 100. And the person with an IQ of 100 might not be able to relate to someone with a 140 IQ. (I am using these as examples, and not saying one is better than the other.) And no, you don't need to take an IQ test, lest someone get all uppity about that. Don't parse this too hard, people. All I'm saying is that people tend to sort each other out based on the ease of relating to the other person, which has a lot to do with similar intelligence levels.
Whoa, you responded to a thread that is almost a year old. Happy Anniversary!
When I saw this thread I thought maybe the Princeton Dad is divorcing the Princeton Mom over this thing, but wasn't she already divorced? I can't remember since it was so long ago.
she was in the news a few weeks ago, she's out with a new book and her new yuouk accent is as nuauseating as evah
I love the idea of someone bumping a year-old thread to tell us all that we took him/her too seriously and that we shouldn't "parse this too hard."
She was recently slapped down by faculty at Princeton for her comments on sexual assault:
She certainly knows how to generate publicity for herself.