I quoted your whole post, because it is an extremely accurate analysis of my son's problem. And I left out part of the story. When the situation came to a head, we told the school we were no longer going to punish him, because it was making it worse, not better. And they (along with us) started a strategy of helping him focus on only improving one aspect of his classroom behavior at a time. He can't see himself as others see him, so he needs to focus on one thing at a time, and build good habits.