Online dating

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Ajax, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    :lol: My parents also met in a not-nice bar. My dad was so drunk he couldn't remember what my mom looked like, only that he had a date with some woman whose name and address were on a note in his pocket.

    This was in 1945, mind you. But as my mom always liked to say, things were different then--an argument that never worked for me at all when I was trying to explain how the world had changed since she was young, but you know--that's different :lol:.

    I'd let some guys look at your profile for sure. There's being honest and then there's slitting your own throat (mentioning your cat, for example :p).
  2. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    :lol:

    My parents met in grad school. My dad was my mom's associate professor.

    When I found out, I was like, ":wideeyes: I never knew my dad could be so SKANDALOUS!" :rofl:
  3. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    :lol:

    Some good friends of my parents met when she was a student in his high school English class.

    But again, things were different then :shuffle:.
  4. Jodi

    Jodi Caulkhead forever

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    Well, I met my best friend through FSU. (miffy!) And I met my boyfriend because he's another very close friend of hers :)
  5. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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  6. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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  7. PrincessLeppard

    PrincessLeppard Pink Bitch

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    :drama:

    I mention my cats up front. Because if they don't like cats, or have allergies to cats, they're out.

    So, um, yeah. :shuffle:
  8. Andora

    Andora Well-Known Member

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    Good luck with the online dating! I gave up on it because I found myself too nervous before dates to ever enjoy them. Some decent guys on there, though, and plenty of couple success stories. I was a bridesmaid for one of them. :)

    A friend of mine just married her longterm boyfriend whom she met as an intern. He was her boss. First thing she says about it is always, "it's not nearly as Monica Lewinsky as it sounds." I love off-colour 'meet cute' stories. :p I'd say more than standard ones, but I've no idea what's standard for how couples meet these days.

    My parents met at a bar when my mom was blitzed and my dad broke up a bar fight. It couldn't be a more inaccurate description of them.
  9. Kruss

    Kruss Well-Known Member

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    I just signed up again with Match.com. We'll see.

    Whether in person or online, I just don't get lying to impress someone. When the truth is eventually (hopefully) found out, I'd not trust them for the upfront lying.

    Ugh, why does this have to be so difficult? It's not supposed to be rocket science...
  10. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Not only the lying, but it automatically makes them much less attractive to me because if you have real self-confidence, you shouldn't feel the need to lie about yourself.

    Well it's not rocket science, but it also has a lot to do with luck. I went on a number of first dates that went absolutely nowhere, but at least none of the guys strung me along (can't say the same for my poor younger sister..) and I had a good time.

    And finally I thought I'd give this one guy a chance. He didn't seem all that different from the others. I have no idea why, but despite my meh-ness about the potential, he kept on coming back. And not in a stalkerish manner either, it was just, I wouldn't hear from him at all in a while, and then he'd IM me and go, "Hey, I'm going to be in the area, want to meet up?" :lol: And now here we are. :lol:
  11. Ziggy

    Ziggy Well-Known Member

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    I honestly don't get that kind of attitude at all.

    The vast majority of my friends and pretty much everybody I have dated/had sex with I've met online.
  12. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

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    He must've made a heck of an impression. :lol:
  13. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    I'm not sure that's a recommendation :shuffle:. :p

    My mom said she figured going out with him would be something to do besides stay in the dorm (she was in nursing school at the time), but she gave it 50/50 that he would remember to show up. She got ready just in case. When she got off the elevator, she saw him checking out all the other girls and realized he didn't remember what she looked like, so she walked right past him to the door and said, "Well, are we going?" loudly to his back.

    On their third date, she told him that she wouldn't go out with him ever again because if they kept going out, they would get married and she thought that would be awful. My dad thought that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard and told her that if he married anyone, it definitely wouldn't be her.

    And so it went. My parents were always like Dr. Doolittle's pushmi-pullyu, a single creature with two completely different heads containing completely different ideas.:lol:
  14. Coco

    Coco Well-Known Member

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    Has anyone tried okcupid? I'm a little leery of a free dating site, only because I'll be honest and say I don't want to date a flat broke guy - HA!
  15. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    :rofl: Love it! Those kinds of stories are the best. "Love at first sight" stories are so BORING!

    Well, the more expensive the dating site, the more desperate the members, I'd also think. :lol:

    If it helps, the site where I met my bf (Plentyoffish) is free and he's an aerospace engineer who makes good money. He's only been working for a year after last quitting his job and lazying around living off his savings (he does crazy things like that) and he's already saved up enough to quit again and not work for a year. I'm so jealous. :lol:

    But yeah, not everyone who uses one is broke. :lol:
  16. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

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    They sound like Tracy and Hepburn. :lol:
  17. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    I'll say one thing--never once did I have the romantic idea that once I married, my husband and I would be one heart/mind/soul. :lol:

    But really, when you think about stories like that and how people met before the internet, saying you met someone online isn't so bad.

    I think meeting online is becoming pretty common, so in a few years, Veronika will be able to brag that she was on the cutting edge. ;)
  18. PRlady

    PRlady aspiring tri-national

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    My very furry cat is in there, so is the fact that I wasn't the prom queen. So are my politics and the fact that I care about them. And so is my figure skating fandom.

    Hey, you see, you want, you don't want, up to you, is my feeling. I've heard from a lot of guys that my profile is very different from the average 50something lady, so it seems to be working.

    One thing is wrong, though, but I can't figure out what. I've had more than one man email me telling me I seem to be a gentle person. I could round up at least 50 people on FSU who have never met me personally who would be happy to prove them wrong.
  19. Margot

    Margot New Member

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    I told my 89 year old mother that my husband and I met on-line. She was just fine with it and just asked questions about how it worked. (No, she wasn't asking with any motive in mind!)
  20. Ziggy

    Ziggy Well-Known Member

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    Well how else can you meet people? :p

    And it's a serious question.

    If you have a big circle of friends, then I guess you can meet people through friends.

    But if you don't have any? Or hardly any? It's not like you can go out on the street and ask random people to go out for coffee with you.

    But you can do that with impunity on the internet. ;)
  21. mmscfdcsu

    mmscfdcsu Skating Pairs with Drew

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    I've met two long term relationships from ice skating. Actually skating, not over the computer. I've dated someone who lives in my building...met him in the laundry room. I've also dated a couple of colleagues from the University where I teach. I haven't dated anyone from church, but the choir seems to be a fertile dating/relationship pool. We have had a couple of weddings from choir members.
  22. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    I was talking about that with some other people the other day--not about dating, specifically, but more in the general sense of how many modern people lack a community.

    I don't know what I would do if I were to be single again at this point. Shrivel up and die, I expect. :p
  23. Polymer Bob

    Polymer Bob New Member

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    I have done quite a bit of online dating. I was on on fitnesssingles and eHarmony. I am now doing Match and Plentyoffish. I have met some nice ladies and have been on several dates, but have not started an actual relationship online. The vast majority of women I contact do not reply back.
  24. Ajax

    Ajax New Member

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    I'm on it! It's funny because I signed up very recently (I'm the one who started this thread actually) and the first guy I was matched with is pretty cute, not broke, and we've been chatting online, we'll probably go out soon :) I have another friend on there who I know for a fact makes upwards of 100K a year. So I say go for it :)


    Ziggy I actually agree with you - it's hard! I do have a pretty big circle of friends/acquaintances but even then it's not always easy to get close with people you meet through them, especially if you're trying to find a potential partner. There's also the fact that as I get older, more and more of the men I meet through friends are married/in serious relationships already. Which is why I finally caved in and am giving online dating a try - at least you know the men you meet from there are going to be single and looking to date!
  25. milanessa

    milanessa engaged to dupa

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    Looking to date but I wouldn't count on the single part. ;) Good luck and have fun!
  26. Sk8Kate

    Sk8Kate New Member

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    I'm on OKCupid too, though I did take down my profile for a while as I'm still not sure internet dating is really for me. I've only messaged a few people on my own initiative - mostly I wait for someone to message me, and if they can string together a coherent paragraph in proper English, and I like what I see on their profile, maybe I'll write back. I've met up with two different guys that found me on the site, and both were perfectly nice gentlemen, quite successful, and certainly not broke. OTOH, I've also received plenty of messages from men who were very plainly seeking a no-strings-attached sort of evening. I didn't respond to those. :)

    I do suppose the people who would use a pay website might be more serious about finding someone than those who use a free site. I'll admit that I'm not very serious about OKCupid but perhaps I'd be more motivated if I put my own hard-earned cash behind it and signed up for something like Match. My father and stepmom met on Match, and I adore my stepmom, so I guess I shouldn't be skeptical, but I am. I'm still hoping one of these days I will meet someone through a common interest.
  27. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    I think you just offened all the single people on FSU over the age of 35 :lynch:
  28. PrincessLeppard

    PrincessLeppard Pink Bitch

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    Nah, we'll just drag her out to gay bars and then bitch and whine cuz we never meet any cool straight guys. :p
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  29. Cheylana

    Cheylana Well-Known Member

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    That's what I had thought, but unfortunately guys who use expensive sites like eHarmony often expect to get a perfect person in return! Which I am not :fragile:
  30. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    Why? I said nothing about anyone else, nor did I draw some sort of general conclusion about singledom. I was talking about ME. I've been married for 25 years and can't even conceive of life without my husband at this point; everything we do is intertwined to some degree. On top of that, I've never lived alone. In fact, I don't think I've ever spent a single night alone at home and I can count on my fingers the numbers of nights I've spent alone ever.

    I don't know how to be single. I wouldn't know where to start or how to organize my days and nights or what to do when I got lonely. I rarely go places alone, I've hardly ever come home to an empty house, and I can't remember the last time I even ate dinner by myself. I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get time alone, not how to find someone to spend time with. It would be a completely alien experience for me to be alone.

    But if people want to take offense at that, have at it.
  31. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    My mom often spends long periods of time alone since my dad is often away on business trips. She always has hobbies, volunteering gigs, and gardening to keep herself busy. Heck, even when my dad is home he's mostly either watching TV or in his study reading about math. :lol: (I wonder where I get my independent streak from...:shuffle: )

    But she wouldn't have any idea how to hook up with a man if she and my dad were to get divorced.

    It's kinda the same thing, I suppose. But in a different way. :lol:
  32. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    It's not like we all spend every second together, or that I don't have anything to do on my own. I have a job and interests and all that--but it's also all interwoven into everyone else's interests and jobs and school. Every day, I have to integrate my schedule and needs and wants around other people's schedules and needs and wants.

    It's going to be weird enough when the kids move out.
  33. PRlady

    PRlady aspiring tri-national

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    I'm not at all offended but you know what, I was you just two years ago. Went from group house to living with husband number one and got involved with husband number two almost the minute my first marriage ended. What with raising three stepchildren and my own daughter and a busy career, time alone was what I yearned for.

    Two years ago, with daughter at college, newly separated, I found myself staring at a cat several nights a week (or at the computer, or at a book, or the TV.) It was fascinating, scary and lonely. And complicated by romantic agony over losing a highly intense relationship.

    You learn. You find pleasure in your own company and you get a bit more organized about scheduling stuff to do since relaxing on the couch with husband and Netflix is no longer an option. And you date on the Internet and enlarge your sense of humor and possibility.

    I, on the other hand, am about to remove myself from OKCupid after less than a week, because the percentage of freaks and guys who are immediately sexual is really high. Both JDate and match.com have provided a much larger number of serious, normal guys who might be a bit boring but don't ask me about bondage on the second email. ;)
  34. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

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    :lol: That's not really an option now.

    Maybe. I have nothing against the internet dating scene and know quite a few people who have met a mate there. But the vast majority of dating stories I've heard in the last 10 years or so, online dating or other, haven't exactly made the prospect appealing :shuffle:.

    But who knows? Changes in life, changes in perspective.
  35. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Or maybe you'll be like my mom and when the kids move out, you retire and move to a little podunk-town where you can quilt and garden to your heart's desire. :lol:

    I think she had a head start though, because my sister and I were pretty independent once we got our driver's licenses. It got to the point where when my sister needed a deposit for some extracurricular, my mom would just sign the check and not even ask what it was for. :lol:
  36. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    Its amazing how different people are actually.

    Imagine the complete opposite of this and you have me. And I cannot imagine surviving living like Prancer. :eek:

    There are introverts and there are extroverts, and all manner of in betweens.
  37. vesperholly

    vesperholly Well-Known Member

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    Interesting. This doesn't offend me at all, in fact I'm curious about how different people's lives are. I've been single for so long that I feel like I'd have to make some major changes to accommodate a husband. For one thing, I'd need an apartment double the size of my current one. :lol: I don't think it's a stubbornness thing or an incompatibility thing. I've sought and enjoyed time alone ever since I was a kid.

    I have seen more judgement going one way than the other, though. People who want to be around others seem less able to understand people who want alone time.
  38. BlueRidge

    BlueRidge AYS's snark-sponge

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    I think it is just really hard for people who are strongly extroverted to even understand people who are not.

    OTOH, most folks who are introverts do want involvement with other people, including romantically. So how do people work this out?
  39. Veronika

    Veronika gold dust woman

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    I lived alone for 5 years before I met my husband, and he moved in with me after a year of dating. (We got married about 3 months later.) I do miss living alone sometimes, but it's still nicer to have someone around. We both need our alone time, but sometimes it's hard for me to admit that--I don't want him to feel bad.

    It helped that he was in law school for the first three years of our marriage, he was gone a lot and I missed him. I'd rather miss someone than see them too much and want them to go away. ;)
  40. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    I can't do Internet dating. Apparently, I don't behave very well on dates at this point in my life so I'm liable to give some guy who doesn't know me the wrong first impression. I was on a date once at a restaurant and one of the Grand Prix events was on the television in the bar and I kept looking over my date's shoulder as he was talking to watch the skating. :shuffle:

    He said he would get his revenge during a hockey game, but we never actually made it that far.
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