Names You Will NEVER Give Your Children

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Cachoo, Nov 1, 2012.

  1. Cachoo

    Cachoo Well-Known Member

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    Whether it is family, friends, work, Facebook etc....do you have "What were they thinking" moments when you see/hear/read the names given to newborns? I saw the name Sammsyn for a boy and wondered at the spelling more than the name. At least he can be "Sam."

    Any names catch your eye for all of the wrong reasons?
  2. mkats

    mkats New Member

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    I know someone who named their kid Pistol.
  3. Habs

    Habs Well-Known Member

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    A friend of a friend just named their daughter Kherrington. :yikes:
  4. KikiSashaFan

    KikiSashaFan Well-Known Member

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  5. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

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    Eunique.
  6. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    it's already not the worst name in the thread, but when my cousin broke up with her boyfriend recently, she changed their baby's name from sophia to jojo.
  7. Grannyfan

    Grannyfan Active Member

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    Unusual or even weird names don't bother me nearly so much as ridiculous spellings of fairly common names, especially when they include an apostrophe. My niece had a student a couple of years ago whose name was Desti'knee. That's Destiny to you and me.
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  8. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    Heard someone calling her daughters "chiffon" and "chevette" in a restaurant yesterday. Did a bit of a double take. Especially at "chevette". Those were crappy little cars.

    And I once heard a woman calling a toddler "mylanta" in a grocery store line. I wanted to ask if "pepcid" and "rolaids" were at home.

    Of course, having taught for 16 years, I encountered some crazy names there, too. A girl named "Sunny Dawn" because that was the time and weather when she was born...I never asked if there was a contingency plan to prevent her from being called "afternoon blizzard" or some such thing. There was a family where all the kids had the middle name Daniel for the dad and were called by both first and middle name. Including the girls. That seemed awkward and just a tad egotistical on his part. None were named for mom. I taught a girl named "Echo". A boy named Hank Williams who had a sister named JoBeth. A boy named "kodi" who was waiting to turn 18 and change the spelling that made people think he was a girl. It was bestowed on him by a mother who was disappointed to have her fourth boy.

    I'm sure I'll think of more later.
  9. mkats

    mkats New Member

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    :rofl: that is too awful and funny.

    I actually grew up with a girl who had a very difficult to pronounce Asian name that usually got rendered to "chiffon" (it started with an X). Eventually she started just telling people "you pronounce it like the fabric" because it was better than the other butcherings she got!

    I have a friend whose little brother is named Ariel because his big sister (my friend) was obsessed with the Little Mermaid when he was born :shuffle: At least it is an accepted boys' name in some cultures...
  10. Scrufflet

    Scrufflet Active Member

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    All of the above! I wouldn't do any seasons, days of the week or dorky soap opera names. Or if you have several kids, they end up being Trip, Tre, Torc and Tru. I once saw an Ugly Betty episode where they were spoofing "Tom, Katie and Baby Suri". It turned into, Tim, Carrie and Baby Chutney. I spluttered my tea! And I named my Maine Coon cat Chutney as a result. It suits him. All of these names seem to be much better for pets I think.
  11. A.H.Black

    A.H.Black Well-Known Member

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    La-a. Pronounced Ladasha. Really. The mother was upset with the school staff for not being able to pronounce it.
  12. dancefan17

    dancefan17 Member

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    Ringo Coyote. Fortunately, the father changed his mind to 'John Clark' when the child was actually born.
  13. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I've met a La-a too. It baffles me that that must mean that someone heard of someone named La-a and thought, "that's so awesome!" :shuffle: And more than one person, at that...

    These are less inflammatory and are actual names, but I hate the names Myrtle, Ethel, and Mildred. I just see a short 80-year-old woman with white hair when I read or hear them and I would never name a child any of those names. I feel similarly about Dolores, but I would also see the Harry Potter character :shuffle:

    And then there are pretty names that I could never use. I knew a Peyton once and every person around my parent's age would get a funny look on their face and start talking about how they could never name a child Peyton because of Peyton's Place. Which I haven't seen, so I don't get the reasoning behind it, but I've heard it so many times that I now have it firmly in my mind that I should never name a child Peyton :lol: Lolita is a beautiful name that I would never feel comfortable using, though I wish it didn't have that connotation.
  14. Twizzler

    Twizzler Well-Known Member

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  15. misskarne

    misskarne Spirit. Focus. Ability. Tenacity. Aussie Grit.

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    When I was announcing at a competiton we had one of the out-of-state skaters' mothers come storming up to us demanding to WATCH me write out how to say her daughter's name phonetically. "I won't have her embarassed by you saying her name wrong!"

    The girl's name was said "Dee-ah-na." The spelling on our skater listing, the spelling of the name, was Dijianah. My immediate thought was "If you didn't want it mispronounced, why not spell it properly in the first place?!"
  16. Alex Forrest

    Alex Forrest Banned Member

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    I think the name is Nevaeh, which is heaven spelled backwards. Of course some people can't spell and don't know better, like Oprah was from the bilblical name Orpah. I've seen a Disteny (ouch), Serinety (double ouch).

    As for old lady names, I don't think some are ever coming back. My grandmother's name was Myrtle and even then she and everyone else didn't like it. Edna, Agnes, Gertrude, etc are never going to come back.

    La-A? How in the world? I could understand if it was spelled La..a (la dots a). I've seen an Aquanetta.
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2012
  17. Cachoo

    Cachoo Well-Known Member

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    Good gawd you keep making me guffaw with these names. And PDilemma I don't know how you keep a straight face in the classroom sometimes.
  18. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    i worked with a girl who named her daughters chablis and chardonnay. it was the first thing she told everyone, like she couldnt wait for people to tell her how awesome her naming abilities were.
  19. Rogue

    Rogue Sexy Superhero

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    I went to college with a guy named King James Version.
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  20. walei

    walei Well-Known Member

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    I saw on the news once that there are these parents who love ESPN so much that they named their baby ... Espn.

    And I :lol: when the local Toronto station CFMT anchor was jokingly contemplating on naming her kid Cfmt and had a discussion with her co-anchor on how to pronounce the name.
  21. MacMadame

    MacMadame Internet Beyotch

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    I would never name my kids Karen, Susan or Debbie. Not because there is something wrong with those names, but EVERY girl in my school seemed to have those names. So (a) they seem overdone and (b) I have traumatic encounters with girls who had each of those names.

    I also swore I would never give my kid a middle name of Ann or Lynn because everyone seemed to have those names as middle names. But then I married into a family who had a tradition of giving all the girls middle names of Ann in honor of my MIL's mother. And the day I found out I was pregnant with Mini-Mac, my friend Lynn died. So I was torn. We actually contemplated naming her Lynn Ann - double whammy! But Mr. Mac didn't like that and had no trouble breaking the family tradition so she was saved from that fate. :lol:
  22. victoriajh

    victoriajh Well-Known Member

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    I am SOOOO with you!

    YIKES......

    i once met a kids named ankin (as in from star wars) and i thought that was bad!! some of these are :eek:
  23. TheGirlCanSkate

    TheGirlCanSkate New Member

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    Names spelled cre8tvleigh really grate on my nerves. Syndee is not unique. It's spelled incorrectly.
  24. Flatfoote

    Flatfoote Active Member

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    I had a teacher in Jr. High whose last name was Reck. She joked with us that if she ever had a son, she'd have to resist the temptaion to name him Otto.
  25. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

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    Last time I went to the pediatrician, the babies had horrific names. My kid is Ian. The others? Kerrigan, Sunshine, and Precious. All girls. Good Lord, those poor children.
  26. lulu

    lulu New Member

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    Mmm, maybe the parents are fans of Nancy ;)
  27. Zemgirl

    Zemgirl Well-Known Member

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    Based on the novel Push by Sapphire? :p

    Unless someone has met an actual La-a in person, I am inclined to believe that it's an urban legend (though Snopes lists it as undetermined).

    I've seen some good ones on STFU Parents, like this - but beware the link to Vadgesty Foxi Maiden and Vagena Tamphen Pohtaytar, it is NSFW (or for anything else, for that matter).

    And yes, the creative spelling trend is really stupid and has already been done better. Luckily in Hebrew we don't have vowels, so parents really can't do too much damage; the trend I really dislike here is giving kids non-Hebrew names. It's one thing to name them something that works in Israel and outside it (e.g. Daniel, Maya), but there are way too many Liams and Shawns for my liking.
  28. KCC

    KCC Active Member

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    Funny, Karen is one of my favorite names, probably because I had two very close childhood friends with that name. It appeals to me also because it does not end with an "a" or have a nickname with "ie".
  29. BaileyCatts

    BaileyCatts Well-Known Member

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    I second, third and fourth that one!! Gawd it is so pretentious and the people who I know at work who have used it act like they were the ones who thought it up and no one else is named that. :rolleyes: Never never never never never!!

    If ever needed, I plan to stick with simple basic names! My only problem is I hate so many beyotch's in my life I could never name my child the name of a girl (or guy) I hated. Jennifer, while a normal simple name, would never be used by me for that reason. :wideeyes:
  30. Spazactaz

    Spazactaz New Member

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    I love old lady names.. they're hilarious. :p Opal, Bertha, Gretchen, Heldora, Esther-Sue, Lenore...
  31. Quintuple

    Quintuple papillon d'amour

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    1.) Wasn't there an entire thread dedicated to the college guidance counselor named Marijuana Pepsie Sawyer?
    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34641678/ns/today-today_news/t/marijuana-pepsi-will-see-you-now/

    2.) Aquanetta, as mentioned above, is the name of the mother of the boy who's the best ecolocuter in the world.

    3.) Not made up: My cousin went to school with a brother and sister whose last name is Choice. The girl's first name? NEW UNIQUE. The boy's first name? THE RAW.

    4.) Friend went to high school with two brothers name Limonjello and Orangello.

    5.) Same friend has a friend who's a 911 dispatcher. Friend got a call one night: "MY DAUGHTER MISSING."

    "Ma'am, how long has she been missing?"

    "OVER 24 HOUR."

    "All right, could you spell her name for me?"

    "F"

    "Uh huh."

    "E"

    "Yeah."

    "M"

    "Go ahead."

    "A"

    "Got it."

    "L"

    "Yup ..."

    "E!"

    " ... ... female?"

    "NO! FEH-MAWL-LAY!"
  32. RockTheTassel

    RockTheTassel Well-Known Member

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    For my generation, it's Sarah, Katie, and Brittany. I've met dozens of girls with these names over the years. I actually went by one of these names as a kid but finally started going by a nickname because the former name was just so common.
  33. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

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    I don't care for the names 'Apple' or 'Free'. I met an Apple tonight and she's Chinese. Chinese people often adopt cute or unusual names for their English name. But this girl, she was cute as an Apple and the name suited her. But you can't count on that when a child is newborn.
  34. taz'smum

    taz'smum Active Member

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    My mother who would be 86 if she were still alive, went to school with a Nora Bone!! Poor Nora was a little bit simple to boot!

    Other names can become unfortunate, such as Richard Head!

    Other real names from my past, Orson Cart and Sunshine Brightly!!
  35. snoopy

    snoopy Team St. Petersburg

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    What makes a Hebrew name Hebrew? Is it tradition or sound?

    A Muslim told me that a Muslim name is sound based - putting together syllables of sound found in the Qu'ran.

    I was looking at Hebrew names for girls very recently and there didn't seem to be a lot of modern choices.
  36. Zemgirl

    Zemgirl Well-Known Member

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    Nevaeh is such a stupid name - why would you want to spell heaven backwards? Are the Naveahs being expelled from heaven? Do people ever spell other things backwards as names?

    Hebrew names will usually have some meaning in Hebrew, and/or be Biblical. There are actually lots of lovely Hebrew names for both boys and girls, both modern and retro, but I'm not sure how they'd sound to non-Hebrew speakers. PM me if you want some ideas ;)
  37. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

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    My paternal grandmother was christened "Berthe-Mathilde de Créqui" in Alsace-Lorraine in 1900. She emigrated to the US with her family in 1913 and never forgave the officials at Ellis Island for changing her name to "Bertha Matilda Creaky". She was still bitching about it eight decades later. :lol:
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  38. misskarne

    misskarne Spirit. Focus. Ability. Tenacity. Aussie Grit.

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    :(

    I wish there had been more Karens around when I was at school. I always felt like I had such an old, odd, rare name. When I was a kid I hated it and wanted to change it. :lol: at being a kid. Now I love it.
  39. shan

    shan Well-Known Member

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    :rofl: That is bizarre!

    That is unfortunate... (((Bertha Matilda Creaky))) :scream:
  40. Rae35

    Rae35 New Member

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    Have read most of this thread and been amazed at the names. When I was thinking of what not to name a child - Bertha, Maude and Mavis were my first thoughts, which now seem tame and acceptable given everything above. I can't think of any unacceptable boys names, (of the ordinary variety). Bruce is no longer fashionable. You don't hear that name very often. What other "regular" names have gone out of fashion over the past two generations?