"My brother's giant genitals make me wonder if we have the same father"

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by skateboy, May 18, 2013.

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  1. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

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    This made me laugh so much... A young man wrote to "Dear Prudence," saying that his brother's "giant genitals" made him doubt that they had the same father. Apparently, the three brothers (now adults) and their father ended up taking a shower in a public situation and had never seen one another naked. The youngest brother had noticeably different "equipment"... but the hilarious part is Prudence's answer. Here it is:

    Dear No,
    It’s the Johnson brothers, Willie, Peter, and Rod! You and your brother got quite an eyeful of baby bro’s one-eyed wonder. I wish I knew what you meant by the superior “complexion” of your brother’s endowment. I’m just supposing that his Moby-Dick gives off a rosy glow due to excess blood flow. There are several ways to approach your central question: Did your mother give your father the shaft? First of all, you seem to be of the opinion that sexual characteristics are inherited only from the parent of the same sex. But as this website points out, genital size, like eye color and height, are traits inherited from both parents. It’s perfectly possible that your mother comes from a family of three-legged men and you and your older brother got the short end of that genetic lottery. You have one ambiguous (though substantial) piece of evidence for your theory that your parents’ divorce was due to your mother’s infidelity. But maybe your mother discovered that while she was gestating your father’s third son, he was the one cheating on her. Despite the nastiness of your parents’ parting, they have kept the reason quiet all these years. Since all of you boys appear to have been happily incurious about their split these many years, it’s probably a good idea to remain that way. You want to establish that your baby brother isn’t really a member of the tribe. But pursuing your hunch will only make a cock-up of things because nothing can change the fact that your father has always embraced all of you as his three sons.

    Admin Edit: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/..._because_my_brother_s_is_quite_different.html

    Please don't just copy and paste from other websites.
     
  2. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    Clearly it's been a late night because when I first saw the thread I thought it said "My brother's giant gerbils..."
     
  3. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    somewhere heckles is furiously trying to think of a pun for this thread
     
  4. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

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    Too funny! You know there's only two types of gay men: size queens and liars.

    and if you think I'm serious have another cocktail. Then I'll tell you a cock tale or two
     
  5. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    Suck it up, Toots. I won't condom such silly behavior.
     
  6. allezfred

    allezfred Prick Admin Staff Member

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    Oh dear. You really cocked up that punning opportunity.
     
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  7. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    We often reservoir best puns until later.
     
  8. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

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    It took real balls to make these statements.
    You sure don't dick around... :slinkaway:
     
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  9. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, well this is just a taste of things to come.
     
  10. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I can't stand size queens. But I love all their friends...
     
  11. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    I don't believe this story! Since they are adults, I need photographic proof. :lol:
     
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  12. Cloudy_Gumdrops

    Cloudy_Gumdrops New Member

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    :rofl: Too freakin funny
     
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  13. duane

    duane New Member

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    LUV this thread! :rofl:
     
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  14. jamesy

    jamesy Well-Known Member

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    Is this just the tip of your nonsense?
     
  15. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    Yes, you'd better nip it in the bud now.
     
  16. jamesy

    jamesy Well-Known Member

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    No, no. Carry on. I don't want you to feel shafted.
     
  17. Reuven

    Reuven Official FSU Alte Kacher

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    No need to be circumcised about it, get to the hard truth.
     
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  18. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    i guess i came to this thread prematurely
     
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  19. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    Come on guys, suck it up.
     
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  20. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    You don't want to go head-to-head with me.
     
  21. Reuven

    Reuven Official FSU Alte Kacher

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    Cream of the crop, eh?
     
  22. Dr.Siouxs

    Dr.Siouxs Well-Known Member

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    At least they have perfection diction.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2013
  23. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    I apologize for being so cocksure.
     
  24. Wiery

    Wiery Well-Known Member

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    What a cockamamy thread!

    Sent from my KFTT using Tapatalk 2
     
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  25. Dr.Siouxs

    Dr.Siouxs Well-Known Member

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    And yet we've barely passed the foreskin...
     
  26. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

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    Watch your tongue, now.
     
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  27. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    Thinking I could compete with you was my phallacy.
     
  28. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    to be fair, this tall tail is hard to swallow
     
  29. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    Then you should have pulled out early. You don't have to be a member here.
     
  30. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    maybe i should take my balls and go home
     
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