My attempt at a skating novel

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by TanithandBenFan, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

    I rewrote Chapter 2. Trying to apply some lessons learned. :)

    NaNoWriMo looks interesting, but November is a bad month for me - I'll be at Skate America for a week. ;) Also, this is really the only story I want to write. It's possibly going to be a series of books because I have so much material. I'll be working on this for quite awhile!
     
  2. Morgail

    Morgail New Member

    134
    11
    0
    There's nothing I can add that others haven't already said, but you might also look at www.critiquecircle.com. It's a great site for getting/giving critiques. I ran my first novel through there, chapter by chapter, and learned a lot about writing.
    Good luck with your writing!
     
  3. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thanks, that site looks really cool!
     
  4. skatepixie

    skatepixie Well-Known Member

    1,327
    52
    48
    This has become very common today, and is in fact quite seamless. However, it would now look like this:

    Jane came into the room. "Would you like a drink?"

    Sally looked up from her book. "Yes please."

    Basically, the action serves as the dialogue tag, which makes it a little more clear than seperating the dialogue and the action.

    ____

    TABfan, your work looks really good so far, especially with the rewrite. I would rework the interview scene a bit, as it seems a little stiff. There are times when people are stating things that the other person already knows. An example of this is the discussion of Sergei and his ex partner. Clearly, Emily and Chris both know this info, so it should not be stated in dialogue.

    Anyway, I also write and participate in NaNoWriMo. I am also an ML for my local area. Sadly, I have not done much in the way of editing my 2009 novel, which is a skating novel. Oh well, at least I have the excuse of having just gotten married and moved. :p My goal is to have it edited in the next few months, which is taking longer than planned because I am changing it to first person.

    I'd love to see an FSU writing club. However, personally, I think it would be better if it was something that a mod had to add you to. Self-publishing something, even for free online, isn't the best idea for those (like myself) who wish to seek traditional publication later on. However, it is not considered "published" if it is in a password protected writers group.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2010
  5. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

    4,651
    492
    83
    This is a bit random (though skatepixie knows very well about all this stuff considering we're RL friends who talk writing a lot!), but I was pondering turning my figure skating role playing game characters (a writing RPG) into a novel just for something to do with my time. However, it seems like a lot of skating novels are about singles ladies or pair teams. Should I just stick with that? I'm very fond of a male singles skater I've been writing with for the RPG but I don't know how I could even start something! :)

    TABfan, I really am enjoying your novel!
     
  6. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thanks so much for your suggestions, skatepixie. Every bit of information helps!

    Lanie, I'd much rather read about a male singles skater than one of the ladiezzzz. ;) You should go for it!
     
  7. alhrayth

    alhrayth Well-Known Member

    2,689
    539
    113
    Please TABfan continue posting!!! I had great fun reading your story, I like your writing!
    I went through the 25 chapters up there all in one go and you can't just leave us hanging like this... what happens next???!!! I need to know!!!
     
  8. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    You have no idea how much it makes my day when people say they're enjoying it! :) Just added Chapter 26. ;)
     
  9. alhrayth

    alhrayth Well-Known Member

    2,689
    539
    113
    :) and 27! I've bookmarked your page so I'll keep checking for new bits!
     
  10. Simone411

    Simone411 Just Flip-Flopping Around

    7,641
    3,120
    113
    I LOVED chapters 26 & 27. I also bookmarked your page. I can't wait to read more chapters! :)
     
  11. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Bumping up because I've added a bunch more chapters. I'd love any feedback on whether the writing has improved, gotten worse, stagnated.... :)
     
    D&Sfan4ever and (deleted member) like this.
  12. D&Sfan4ever

    D&Sfan4ever Living in a Snark

    845
    137
    43
    Honestly, it's getting better and better. I can't wait for the next chapters.
     
  13. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thank you so much! :)
     
  14. alhrayth

    alhrayth Well-Known Member

    2,689
    539
    113
    °_° < my face towards the end of chapter 49. OMG I was not expecting that! Keep it coming, I need to know what happens next!!! I am really, really enjoying reading your story!!
     
  15. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Heehee, glad I could shock you. ;) And I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
     
  16. Mendi

    Mendi New Member

    25
    2
    0
    I've not commented on it or anything, but I'm enjoying it immensely. Wish you would drag the skating scenes out a bit, they're the best part. :)
     
  17. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thanks! I had a lot more detail in the original version, but I've cut a lot because I got some flack about too much unnecessary information. I'll try to find a better balance. :)
     
  18. quebecoise

    quebecoise New Member

    842
    71
    0
    I love your story and the new chapters are even better than the first ones. I just can't wait to know what will happen next. I was even sad when I saw chapter 49 was the last one because I want to know what will happen!! lol. Continue that way!:)
     
  19. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thanks so much! That's what I was hoping for - to improve with each chapter, so I'm glad to hear that's happening. :) I just posted Chapter 50. ;)
     
  20. Patzeez

    Patzeez New Member

    15
    1
    3
    Great work! I am eagerly awaiting more chapters. The 9-11 attack segment was certainly unexpected.

    You write dialogue very, very well.

    Congratulations -- you definitely have a future in writing.
     
  21. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    It means a lot to me to hear that about the dialogue because I used to struggle mightily with it. Thank you so much for your encouragement!
     
  22. quebecoise

    quebecoise New Member

    842
    71
    0
    I just read the 3 last chapters. I love it! Can't wait to read more!! I love the way that we can never predict what will happen. You always bring suspense.
     
  23. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

    727
    65
    28
    Just finished reading all the chapters you had posted.

    My honest opinion including a little constructive critisim and some praise :) :

    When I first started reading I didn't think the writing was very good. There is something abrubt and disjointed about the beginning of the novel. It took several chapters before I figured out what exactly the story was about. There were many plot points introduced and it wasn't clear at first what the theme was. With that said I was pleasantly with the remainder of the novel. With each chapter your writing got better and the story more clear and intriguing. I am enjoying the story and can't wait to read more.

    Just a bit of a suggestion for your writing. I would reccommend doing more describing of things. This will not only help the reader get a visual picture of the scene, but in many cases will also help establish character.
    For example: you have always described Sergi's apartment as just that, "Sergei's apartment." But where does he live? What kind of home? How is it decorated? Saying that he chose an apartment in the middle of the city that is sparsely furnished with hand-me-down furnture says something completely different about him than saying he chose an apartment in the suburbs furnished in bright colors and prints from his homeland of Russia. Saying nothing give the reader no picture at all. I think if the reader better knows the characters its easier to get involved in the story.

    Anyway, as I said I am enjoying the story and I have bookmarked it to read more once you are finished. Keep up the good work.
     
  24. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Thanks for the feedback! I think one day I'll take another crack at the first couple of chapters. I've had a hard time finding the right way to start the book. I'm glad you stuck with it and are enjoying it. :)
     
  25. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

    727
    65
    28
    I agree the beginning is always the hardest. I think you're doing great for your first time though.

    Now where's that next chapter? :D
     
  26. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    I'm on vacation this week, but when I've had down time I've been working on a different part of the story. Sorry. :eek: I'm actually on Cape Cod, so I've been getting lots of inspiration. ;)
     
  27. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

    727
    65
    28
    Don't be sorry, enjoy your vacation! :summer:
     
  28. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

    2,623
    513
    113
    You need to start sending some sample chapters to publishing houses that feature this kind of fiction.
     
  29. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

    5,972
    1,162
    113
    Do they accept individual chapters? I always thought you had to send a whole manuscript, but I know nothing about the publishing world. If anyone has any tips, I'd be very appreciative. :)
     
  30. rfisher

    rfisher Satisfied skating fan

    41,824
    8,296
    113
    They do not. And even if it were complete a publisher will drop it in the trash without being viewed. You have to have an agent if you are an unknown author. Agents will not even consider a manuscript if it isn't finished. There are a number of publications available on agents (Writer's Guide to Agents published each year) which will tell you who is accepting new authors, what types of manuscripts they accept, how to write a query letter and other things you have to know.