My attempt at a skating novel

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by TanithandBenFan, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Bumping up because I've added a bunch more chapters. I'd love any feedback on whether the writing has improved, gotten worse, stagnated.... :)
    D&Sfan4ever and (deleted member) like this.
  2. D&Sfan4ever

    D&Sfan4ever Living in a Snark

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    Honestly, it's getting better and better. I can't wait for the next chapters.
  3. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Thank you so much! :)
  4. alhrayth

    alhrayth New Member

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    °_° < my face towards the end of chapter 49. OMG I was not expecting that! Keep it coming, I need to know what happens next!!! I am really, really enjoying reading your story!!
  5. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Heehee, glad I could shock you. ;) And I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
  6. Mendi

    Mendi New Member

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    I've not commented on it or anything, but I'm enjoying it immensely. Wish you would drag the skating scenes out a bit, they're the best part. :)
  7. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Thanks! I had a lot more detail in the original version, but I've cut a lot because I got some flack about too much unnecessary information. I'll try to find a better balance. :)
  8. quebecoise

    quebecoise New Member

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    I love your story and the new chapters are even better than the first ones. I just can't wait to know what will happen next. I was even sad when I saw chapter 49 was the last one because I want to know what will happen!! lol. Continue that way!:)
  9. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Thanks so much! That's what I was hoping for - to improve with each chapter, so I'm glad to hear that's happening. :) I just posted Chapter 50. ;)
  10. Patzeez

    Patzeez New Member

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    Great work! I am eagerly awaiting more chapters. The 9-11 attack segment was certainly unexpected.

    You write dialogue very, very well.

    Congratulations -- you definitely have a future in writing.
  11. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    It means a lot to me to hear that about the dialogue because I used to struggle mightily with it. Thank you so much for your encouragement!
  12. quebecoise

    quebecoise New Member

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    I just read the 3 last chapters. I love it! Can't wait to read more!! I love the way that we can never predict what will happen. You always bring suspense.
  13. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

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    Just finished reading all the chapters you had posted.

    My honest opinion including a little constructive critisim and some praise :) :

    When I first started reading I didn't think the writing was very good. There is something abrubt and disjointed about the beginning of the novel. It took several chapters before I figured out what exactly the story was about. There were many plot points introduced and it wasn't clear at first what the theme was. With that said I was pleasantly with the remainder of the novel. With each chapter your writing got better and the story more clear and intriguing. I am enjoying the story and can't wait to read more.

    Just a bit of a suggestion for your writing. I would reccommend doing more describing of things. This will not only help the reader get a visual picture of the scene, but in many cases will also help establish character.
    For example: you have always described Sergi's apartment as just that, "Sergei's apartment." But where does he live? What kind of home? How is it decorated? Saying that he chose an apartment in the middle of the city that is sparsely furnished with hand-me-down furnture says something completely different about him than saying he chose an apartment in the suburbs furnished in bright colors and prints from his homeland of Russia. Saying nothing give the reader no picture at all. I think if the reader better knows the characters its easier to get involved in the story.

    Anyway, as I said I am enjoying the story and I have bookmarked it to read more once you are finished. Keep up the good work.
  14. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Thanks for the feedback! I think one day I'll take another crack at the first couple of chapters. I've had a hard time finding the right way to start the book. I'm glad you stuck with it and are enjoying it. :)
  15. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

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    I agree the beginning is always the hardest. I think you're doing great for your first time though.

    Now where's that next chapter? :D
  16. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    I'm on vacation this week, but when I've had down time I've been working on a different part of the story. Sorry. :eek: I'm actually on Cape Cod, so I've been getting lots of inspiration. ;)
  17. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

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    Don't be sorry, enjoy your vacation! :summer:
  18. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    You need to start sending some sample chapters to publishing houses that feature this kind of fiction.
  19. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Do they accept individual chapters? I always thought you had to send a whole manuscript, but I know nothing about the publishing world. If anyone has any tips, I'd be very appreciative. :)
  20. rfisher

    rfisher Satisfied skating fan

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    They do not. And even if it were complete a publisher will drop it in the trash without being viewed. You have to have an agent if you are an unknown author. Agents will not even consider a manuscript if it isn't finished. There are a number of publications available on agents (Writer's Guide to Agents published each year) which will tell you who is accepting new authors, what types of manuscripts they accept, how to write a query letter and other things you have to know.
  21. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    Apologies for giving you misleading information, TanithAndBenFan, (and for getting rfisher so upset as well.)

    I was unaware that the rules appear to have changed (internationally at least) since I did the rounds with my own work.

    Best of luck with your writing.
  22. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    No problem. I appreciate the encouraging thoughts!
  23. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    When Matthew Reilly started out, he actually went the self - publishing route.
    You could possibly look down that avenue as well.
  24. rfisher

    rfisher Satisfied skating fan

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    I'm not upset. However, she needs to know the reality of publishing. I don't know when you submitted fiction to a publisher, but no publishing house will even consider a manuscript from an unpublished author without an agent any more. It won't even be opened. Many agents won't even consider a new author in today's climate and those that do have very specific requirements regarding submissions. There is a lot of information out there on the internet about how to get published and tons of books in the library or bookstores including the annual list of agents guides.

    That's not to say she shouldn't continue to write for fun and her own entertainment, but publishing is an entire different matter.
  25. alhrayth

    alhrayth New Member

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    I'm bumping this up because I just catched up with chapter 64... I was kind of expecting that (it would have been tooooooo easy to succeed straight away) but now I'm really looking forward to see what happens next! :) waiting for the next chapt!
  26. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Yeah, it wouldn't have been any fun without drama ;) I'm so glad you're still following it! :) The end is near.... I just have to decide how to end it. :shuffle:
  27. Mendi

    Mendi New Member

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    Nooooo, don't end it! I love having something figure skating related to read besides blogs/forums, and I've blown through the figure skating section at the library. :)
  28. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

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    I lost this thread but finally found it again! Your writing is getting better and better. I'm loving the story! I can't wait to see how it ends.
  29. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Thanks so much, GM! The feedback I've received on here and on the FanStory site has taught me so much. Once I post the last chapter, I'm going to go back and edit many of the early chapters to apply what I've learned. :) Writing the last chapter has been a struggle because in my mind the story continues after the point where I need to end it (and I've continued to put it on paper, too). So, I have to find a nice way to wrap it all up without leaving too much hanging.
  30. belldkay

    belldkay New Member

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    I am really enjoying your book - If you are ending it soon will you be writing another one? Hope so!
  31. belldkay

    belldkay New Member

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    where can we find that novel?
  32. belldkay

    belldkay New Member

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    where can we read your skating fiction?
  33. GoldenMichelle

    GoldenMichelle Active Member

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    Every story continues after the book ends, you just have to decide where YOUR story ends.
  34. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    I finally decided how to end it. What made it more difficult is the fact I have continued to write the story (it's more like a series I guess), so I had to change up the order of a few events to wrap up this part of the story.

    Thanks - I'm so glad you've enjoyed it! I've started writing the next part of this story, but I'm not sure if I want to make it into "Book 2" so to speak. It's just for my friends right now.
  35. alhrayth

    alhrayth New Member

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    Follow the link in TanithandBenFan's signature! or, it's here
  36. belldkay

    belldkay New Member

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    thanks - but not what I am looking for - I am looking for the fictin/novel that jenniferlyon and essence_of_soy spoke of writing - I have Life on the Edge
  37. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    Hi Belldkay,

    Gosh, I wrote (or typed) my book before user - friendly computers or the internet existed to any degree.

    I'll see if I can dig it up The Great Wall of China for you at some point.

    The plot, looking back, was Faustian, to say the least, and nothing clean - cut like TanithAndBenFan's story.

    Mine was about an average skater who believes she has made a pact with the devil to win Olympic gold. The catch (and isn't there always one) is that victory comes with a hefty price.
  38. FigSk8Fan

    FigSk8Fan New Member

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    I just found this thread for the first time & it's now 2:45 AM, I've stayed up and read the entire thing! You have done such an excellent job, it's only gotten better and better as you've gone along.

    I am dying to know what happens now, and I really hope that you decide to make a Book 2! Please? LOL :encore:
  39. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    Aww, thanks so much! :) If I do end up posting Book 2 online, I'll have to provide some explanatory notes because it could be confusing. There are some subplots I cut out of Book 1 that existed in the version I wrote for my friends. I've carried these over to Book 2. It's also not very streamlined... there's some stuff that probably wouldn't be considered necessary action moving the plot along. But I consider Book 2 lagniappe, and I just like to write whatever comes to mind, regardless of how important it is to the grand scheme of things. :)
  40. TanithandBenFan

    TanithandBenFan U.S. Ice Dance Junkie

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    I've posted the last chapter. :) Would love to hear thoughts from those of you who are still reading - was it a satisfactory ending?