Most Controlling/Difficult Skating Mom

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by TheIronLady, Jun 2, 2013.

?

Who was the most controlling/difficult skating mom?

  1. Suzanne Bonaly

    32 vote(s)
    24.2%
  2. Shuguang Zhao (Caroline Zhang's mother)

    1 vote(s)
    0.8%
  3. Marjorie Chin

    21 vote(s)
    15.9%
  4. Julie McDonough

    26 vote(s)
    19.7%
  5. Park Mee-hee (Kim Yu-Na's mother)

    10 vote(s)
    7.6%
  6. Jennifer Leung

    16 vote(s)
    12.1%
  7. Jody Flatt

    1 vote(s)
    0.8%
  8. Danny Kwan

    12 vote(s)
    9.1%
  9. Doris Fleming

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. Raymonde Joubert

    4 vote(s)
    3.0%
  11. Galina Cohen

    1 vote(s)
    0.8%
  12. Other

    8 vote(s)
    6.1%
  1. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    Who wins the prize? There are so many luminaries to choose from here.
    FSfan107 and (deleted member) like this.
  2. spikydurian

    spikydurian New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    2,684
    Let's be fair to them. Without their dedicated support which some may view as demanding, their kids wouldn't have been where they would be in the world of figure skating. There may be more mothers and fathers in the list, but not all of their children make it to the 'who's who list of figure skaters' so we don't know who they are.
  3. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    We love all of these parents, even Danny Kwan and Mira Leung's crazy mother.
  4. judgejudy27

    judgejudy27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    13,344
    Oh this is a tough one. Marjorie Chin, Suzanne Bonaly, and Jennifer Leung stand out above the rest for me, but I have a hard time deciding between those three. While it would take huge willpower and courage on the part of the daughter, I ask myself which of the three would be the hardest to break away from if their skating daughters worked up the gall to do so. I think despite the strict Asian ways of Chin and Leung, my answer is still Bonaly. So I picked her.

    Danny Kwan is a Mom? I guess I had him wrong all along.
  5. lala

    lala Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Messages:
    1,967
    I voted for Joubert's mom.
  6. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    4,244
    I voted for Mira Leung's mom. Mira always seemed so introverted and kind of sad and no one seems to know anything about her these days.
    Maofan7 and (deleted member) like this.
  7. munow

    munow New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2013
    Messages:
    99
  8. t.mann

    t.mann New Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2011
    Messages:
    256
  9. cbd1235

    cbd1235 Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2012
    Messages:
    630
    lol who is the most controlling/difficult skating mom?

    ....Danny Kwan? ahahahahhah!
  10. PeterG

    PeterG Argle-Bargle-ist

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2002
    Messages:
    8,615
    ohmigosh...these thread can polls are just getting worse and worse! :(
    mysticchic and (deleted member) like this.
  11. Jot the Dot Dot

    Jot the Dot Dot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2007
    Messages:
    2,476
    I'm not just skeptical on this simply because I'm a fan of he uber-cute daughter, but what did Jody Flatt do that qualifies her as being 'controlling' or 'difficult' ? She seems to be a nice, loving supportive mother, what gives?
  12. MissIzzy

    MissIzzy New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    643
    Those Kwans have a way of sneaking into polls, don't they...
  13. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2011
    Messages:
    3,537
    Not necessarily, and even if so, is it worth the price?

    Fernandez joins ranks of Spanish sports royalty

    It's possible to be a loving, encouraging, and supporting parent and raise your child to be a World medalist without being Rose Hovick on skates. By all indications, that is the Fernándezes have done.
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
    Finnice and (deleted member) like this.
  14. spikydurian

    spikydurian New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    2,684
    Wonderful to hear that Fernandez has supporting parents. He's such a 'happy kid' with as far as I can observe, an easy-going nature to match.

    Does Spain pay for all of Fernandez's overseas training expenses? I think China does and probably Japan? How about Canada, the USA and other countries?
  15. FunnyBut

    FunnyBut Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Messages:
    4,357
    Gold - Majorie Chin
    Silver - Suzanne Bonaly (just like Surya, always just short of Gold)
    Bronze - Julie McDonough
    Pewter - Jennifer Leung
    TheIronLady and (deleted member) like this.
  16. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    Suzanne Bonaly really deserves the lifetime achievement award--rather than Gold or Silver--for controlling your daughter beyond her skating years. Dan Hollander commented on this in his interview with Dave Lease and Jenny Kirk.

    I voted for Marjorie Chin because of the pseudo-scientific chiropractic treatments that she made Tiffany undergo. I think it may have been Marjorie's way of coping with the losses.
  17. judgejudy27

    judgejudy27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    13,344
    I really know nothing about Mrs. McDonough at all. It is interesting to see her so high in votes and rivalling the Terrible Trio. She must have been something pretty bad even though I have barely heard anything about her.
  18. all_empty

    all_empty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2002
    Messages:
    1,174
    Not a fair poll to post, in my opinion.

    There are no manual on being a perfect parent, much less being a perfect skating parent.

    Clearly these women (and man) did something right to get their children to an elite level, sacrificing their time and money and likely personal happiness.

    Did they make mistakes? Sure, all parents do. Unless there was physical abuse (which I don't think any of these cases were) or mental abuse (hard to document), these parents' actions were for the betterment of their children.

    Coaches can be just as domineering and difficult as skating parents.
  19. judgejudy27

    judgejudy27 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    13,344
    The late Virginia Fratianne should be on the poll. She was an enormous complainer, whining endlessly anytime her beloved Linda did not win a competition, and of course saying nothing at all when she received a blatant gift (eg- 77 and 80 Nationals, 78 Worlds LP, 1980 Worlds SP). She even threatened to sue the judges or the ISU for all the money they cost Linda for not winning the Olympics Gold, LOL! She told Linda bad things about her competitors to make her dislike them, and drilled the whole dealmaking story in Lake Placid in Linda's mind which made her bitter and upset for decades to come. Whether it was true or not, a terrible thing to do to a young women. Had she been on the poll she would have been my vote in a heartbeat.
  20. FSfan107

    FSfan107 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    1,544
    I know there is a "other" option, but I'm surprised Pat Lipinski didn't make the list. :)
    flutzilla1 and (deleted member) like this.
  21. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    Legend has it that Mrs. McDonough shared that when she adopted Ann-Patrice in Korea she picked up the baby and said, "You will be a figure skater." If I recall correctly, Mrs. McDonough did not have advantages growing up, but she wanted to be a skater. So she decided that her daughter would live out her dreams. She was known to be pushy and critical of AP's coaches. She insisted on making her daughter's costumes, including a distracting Swan Lake dress with a beak poking out of the cleavage. AP looked depressed and uninterested in skating. She made it no secret that she skated because of her mother, and she seemed to quit the sport as soon as she could.

    Mrs. McDonough's fashion design Swan Lake 2004

    A glimpse of the formidable Julie McDonough before her daughter's 2002 Junior Worlds SP
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
  22. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    Not that she was the only skating mom who did this, but she also paid for or at least allowed Linda to get a nose job before the Olympics. She probably was going to include those costs in the lawsuit.
  23. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2011
    Messages:
    3,537
    Without getting into the specifics of these parents, it is worth noting that some skate parents are physically and/or mentally abusive and that even where there actions are "documented" the abusive parents try to pass off their behavior as isolated incidents or as doing the best they could for the betterment of their children.

    Case in point:

    http://www.oprah.com/world/Tonya-Hardings-Figure-Skating-Scandal/5#ixzz2V7gbu4Dc

    So, whom should we believe, Tonya Harding or LaVona Golden?

    http://articles.chicagotribune.com/..._1_jeff-gillooly-tonya-harding-nancy-kerrigan

    My vote's with Tonya.
  24. mysticchic

    mysticchic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2005
    Messages:
    5,537
    Someone is trolling for gossip. This is just about the stupidest poll ever!! Do any of you know what these families give up to have a kid at the top?
  25. dorianhotel

    dorianhotel Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2013
    Messages:
    239
    Almost useless poll. How can the Moms of Harding, Lipinski, Fratianne, and maybe even Debi Thomas not be on it yet you have people like the Moms of Cohen, Kwan, Kim Yu Na, Flatt, Joubert, on it. Makes no sense.
    flutzilla1 and (deleted member) like this.
  26. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    There were only 12 slots available. It's not automatically an insult to be selected for this poll. Everybody in the sport knows skating moms/dads must walk a fine line. It is tempting to overstep boundaries and interfere in coaching. The controlling instinct is where things can go wrong. Harding's mother sounds like she would have been drunk and abusive no matter what sport Tonya was in, so she seems in a class of her own. I wouldn't include her with any of these women/man.
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
  27. dorianhotel

    dorianhotel Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2013
    Messages:
    239
    Well Scott Hamilton said he felt due to her Mom Debi could never love skating, and that her Mom didnt even really want her to skate but to focus only on school.
  28. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2011
    Messages:
    3,537
    Why don't you tell us, mysticchic, exactly what these families give up and whether you think it is actually worth it. I have my doubts, particularly since not every skating parent is domineering.

    And I think the dark side of our beloved sport is a fair topic for discussion here, even if I take much of what anonymous posters give as examples with a grain of salt.

    :eek: :yikes: :scream:

    Horror of horrors! What a controlling and difficult mother! That sort of thinking leads to girls' growing up to be physicians. :scream:
  29. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2005
    Messages:
    30,393
    where is this in the interview? i just listened to it and didnt hear a mention of surya or her mom. or was this something that he said that didnt make it into the final edit?
  30. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    I think it got edited out.
  31. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2003
    Messages:
    2,501
    Marjorie Chin, easily.


    A friend of mine used to skate at Lake Arrowhead around the same time that Tiffany was training there.

    According to him when Tiffany missed a triple toe loop over and over in practice one day, after Chin left the ice, Marjorie slapped her daughter in full view of everyone.
  32. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2011
    Messages:
    3,537
    Did anyone do anything about it, such as contact the police, Social Services, the USFSA, or the PSA? If so, what happened? If not, why not?

    Any adult who witnesses something like this and does nothing ought to be ashamed of himself.
  33. FunnyBut

    FunnyBut Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Messages:
    4,357
    I remember Debi Thomas saying something to the effect that everyone wanted or had a nose job during that era, and it was no big deal. I was rather stunned to hear that. I was also surprised since while I think Debi is pretty, she has a very big nose, and that's *after* the nose job.
  34. falling_dance

    falling_dance The Scarlet Unlettered

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2007
    Messages:
    23,184
    Now, Margaret, not all of us have your direct line to MI6.

    I wonder what Mme. Bonaly charges for coaching on English vocabulary. :COP:
    Sparks and (deleted member) like this.
  35. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    I give no credence to stories like this. That wasn't the purpose of this poll. A second or fourth hand account of an alleged rink slapping from 28 years ago is not reliable.
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2013
  36. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2011
    Messages:
    3,537
    You raise points that prompted me to ask those very questions.

    Still, public incidents of physical and emotional abuse by athletes' parents not unknown in other sports, and some governing bodies (in tennis, for example) have done quite a bit to address the problem. What, if anything, are the USFSA, Skate Canada, the ISU, etc., doing?
  37. Zemgirl

    Zemgirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    4,867
    No, it leads to girls being unhappy because their parents are not supportive of what they are doing (assuming this claim is true). It is possible to raise a child to become successful academically and professionally without pushing them away from doing other things.
  38. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Messages:
    12,772
    Just because parents make sacrifices for their children does not mean they are good parents, or non-abusive parents.
  39. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,520
    I agree with this. Some parents would benefit from looking around at how others have successfully reared their skater babies.
  40. taf2002

    taf2002 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2003
    Messages:
    13,823
    Frank Carroll has talked about what a lovely woman Mrs Fratianni was. I would rather believe him than some skating fan passing on 5th hand rink gossip. I never heard any of this stuff during Linda's amateur days. Some of the posts here are just baseless gossip. Pretty distasteful. :blah: