Lies told by Didier Gailhaguet about Surya Bonaly

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by Mafke, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. Mafke

    Mafke New Member

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    Comments on another thread reminded me of some of the delightful stories (ie baldfaced lies) told by Didier Gailhaguet about Surya Bonaly starting in 1989 (born on Reunion, never cut her hair, only ate seeds and nuts etc etc etc).

    With that in mind I decided to start a thread compiling other lies told by him about Surya. In the true Gailhaguet spirit, these don't actually have to correspond with anything he ever said.

    nb, no hating! I'm a big Bonaly fan from way back so these are offered in affection

    I'll start off:

    She sleeps hangng upside down like a bat.

    She would never take a car to a competition and would hitchhike instead.

    Is both colorblind and synesthesic = so that orange sounds just like green to her.

    She once received a marriage proposal from Gerard Depardieu.

    She briefly ran a walnut orchard.

    She loved skating figures but unfortunately was not allowed to practice them by her religion.

    She could benchpress 350 pounds.
    antmanb, Ozzisk8tr, gkelly and 3 others like this.
  2. Taso

    Taso Well-Known Member

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  3. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

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    A friend told me that at Birmingham Worlds, room was always set aside in the Kiss and Cry for Madame Bonaly's broomstick.
  4. Quintuple

    Quintuple papillon d'amour

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    She was actually singing live, while skating, for her exhibition performance at 1994 Worlds.

    That back flip at the 1998 Olympics was actually a double-layout, but the networks were told to edit it at once before the time-delayed broadcast to a single so people's heads wouldn't explode.

    She actually made her own first pair of skates, out of mountain goat dung and diamonds from her native land of Reunion.

    Because she had so many artistic ideas but each competition allowed her to compete only one SP and one LP, she actually donned heavy make-up and *also* appeared as a skater named "Olga Markova" during the 1994 and 1995 seasons.
  5. Taso

    Taso Well-Known Member

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    These two!!! :respec:
  6. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    One of my skating encyclopedia books states that she was born in 1964! It was also way off on Sasha Fadeev's birth year, making him about 11 years old when he won Worlds!
  7. gkelly

    gkelly Well-Known Member

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    Did they just switch the birthdates for Sasha and Surya?
  8. Morry Stillwell

    Morry Stillwell Well-Known Member

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    Please, cite your written sources for the lies you attribuet to Didier. BTW are you Marie LeGougne in drag?
  9. Mafke

    Mafke New Member

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    It's a conspiracy! I will not put up with these accusations and insinuations! Calumny!
  10. falling_dance

    falling_dance The Scarlet Unlettered

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    Surya Bonaly is training for Sochi.
    PeterG and (deleted member) like this.
  11. MR-FAN

    MR-FAN Kostner Softie

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    :sekret: It's true
  12. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

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    You mean I missed that. I feel so robbed.

    They must have been a pretty sh*tty pair of skates. :D

    :lol:
  13. seaner00

    seaner00 New Member

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  14. Jarrett

    Jarrett Well-Known Member

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    That article is a great read. I wish Hersh would like stories like that...
  15. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

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    Yes and she's perfected every jump take off on the correct edge, but she's also thrown a backflip in on every one of those jumps. Yes she has a 7 backflip program. She also finishes doing a spiral where she shoots streamers and confetti at the audience from her lady garden. That get's a 9 for pc's in my book any day.
  16. antmanb

    antmanb Well-Known Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
  17. falling_dance

    falling_dance The Scarlet Unlettered

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    And so, we'll soon see the Bonaly toe loop, Bonaly salchow, Bonaly loop, etc., or else the Bonaloop, Bonaflip, Bonalutz, etc. etc...
  18. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    Her edges were so deep that they went back on a flat. Some weird fluke in the law of physics...
  19. Frau Muller

    Frau Muller President of Dick Button Appreciation Club

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    Surya Bonaly is practising a new competitive routine to "East of Eden."
  20. briancoogaert

    briancoogaert Well-Known Member

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    And a LP to Lyra Angelica ! :lol:
  21. overedge

    overedge Well-Known Member

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    Surya is going to beat Yu-Na for the gold in Sochi. You heard it here first.
  22. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Surya plans to train quad salchows, flips, toe loops, lutzes, loops, and axels this year, have quadruplets fathered by Johnny Weir in 2012, then will train Johnny in quads in 2013, then with Johnny win all 4 disciplines in Sochi. (Johnny will also take the silver in ladies'.) After that, Surya and Johnny will have a jump-off to determine which one will dethrone Speedy as head of the ISU.
  23. Braulio

    Braulio Well-Known Member

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    Their coach will be Yuka Sato
  24. Beefcake

    Beefcake Guest

    Interesting reading! I've only heard two :sekret: true facts about Surya ...

    Surya's seemingly short-cutted US citizenship was earned by sekretly marrying Emmanuel Lewis.

    She was in cahoots with GOP's Mary Matalin, and together they launched the whole "freedom fries" movement, circa 2002.
  25. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

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    Yes and don't forget the new move: the Surya Party Spiral. :eek:
  26. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

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    :lol: Is that a HG & Roy thing?
  27. briancoogaert

    briancoogaert Well-Known Member

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    :rofl:
    I love it : Bonaflip, Bonaloop...
  28. leesaleesa

    leesaleesa Active Member

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    While wearing a dress she hand wove from MK's '98-99 haircuttings.
  29. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

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    :sekret: say the program will include trained live doves and a flaming baton.
  30. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Yes! And she will include Bonaflip and Bonalip and Bonaflutz and Bonalutz in the same program and get them ratified as separate jumps!

    She'll also marry Brian Boitano and become Surya Bonalitano.
  31. briancoogaert

    briancoogaert Well-Known Member

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    Surya Boitaly ! :lol:
  32. gkelly

    gkelly Well-Known Member

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    Will they exchange vows with one arm overhead?
  33. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    and their son, Vitaly Boitaly, who will be born in and skater for, Italy!