Lawsuit Alleges that Paula Deen Used N-Word and Had Racist Dinner Parties

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by overedge, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

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    I've heard some black people refer to others with the "n-word"; and other groups use racial slurs among themselves, and against others.

    As a white female; now living in the South, I've always bent over backwards to avoid using racist language at all.
    I have found this practice very surprising, to say the least.
     
  2. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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  3. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    That is a word I am familiar with. Though I heard it (not recently, thank goodness) from non-Jews. The word made and makes my skin crawl, just as the "n" word does.

    Those are words I've never heard. I will say, however, that I do know Jewish people who say unpleasant things about Orthodox Jews. Not so much name calling but, questioning their clothing and beliefs.

    Those words I've heard. I never really thought they were pejorative though.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
  4. mrinalini

    mrinalini Active Member

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    OMG, this had me clutching my sides - I almost thought it was for real at first because the voices (especially Paula's) were so well synched. It's so well done that I'm still wondering!

    Ooh, this cheese looks tastier than God's ****...here comes my white power flower...LOL!
     
  5. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

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    The white power flour sent tears down my cheeks. I think I need to watch it again.
     
  6. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    Oh that utube clip is freaking hilarious. People are so creative.

    ...

    I bet Paula is in her hotel room right now rehearsing with her team in front of the mirror about how she'll act and what she'll say tomorrow with Matt Lauer.
     
  7. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

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    The question is, who gets to define what language is and isn't offensive? If I think the n-word is offensive, does that mean everyone should? Or just my white friends? My family is Lebanese Australian, but we grew up in an Italian neighbourhood, Italian school, Italian Mass. They could joke and laugh about the stereotype - they played it up, and my family, because we're good friends, did too; we all did together. We loved it. It included us. They loved the Sopranos. They loved (and fit) the stereotype. Heck, the deliberately did things *just* to fit and play up the stereotype. They are not racist. Just because you find something offensive and are also part Italian, doesn't mean all Italians or part Italians should agree with you. My family used the word "wogs" to describe ourselves - we didn't and don't find it offensive when the intent is not to offend. We used it amongst people we knew were "wogs" and they used it to. It was a way of acknowledging we had something in common - the opposite of offensive, if you will. We owned the word some used offensively and made it "ours". But if someone called one of us "wogs" and meant it as a slur, of course no one liked it. Intent is important.
     
  8. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    YOu missed the point. In using it in a "non-offensive" way, you allow the word to be used. You take away sensitivity to the word. How do you say it is okay for an African American to call themself the "N" word or an Italian to call themself a WOP, or you to call yourself a WOG, but not someone who is not of that race/ethnicity? How do you determine if the use is intended to be offensive or not. It is better to not use the word at all. There are words that are steeped in a history of cruelty/racism, there is no good reason to make them "cute".

    And FTR, I find the whole Italian as gangster, dumb, can't speak properly stereotype to be offensive. I find it offensive that Italians are always portrayed that way. That Hispanics and African Americans typically are portrayed as drug dealers or criminals. That kind of stereotyping is false and hurtful. It demeans us as a society.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
  9. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    TODAY's interview

    Is Dean really that clueless about the N-word? It's 2013. She has had country wide exposure for at least the past 11 years on TV and with her travels, and she still is not sure if the N-word is offensive to black people? And if she really doesn't know that about the N-word then why she has never used that word on TV or around people like the Neeleys? Her sons supposedly have told her not to use the word, didn't they? At least that was the story coming out last week.

    She now claims she had only used the N-word one time in her life:

     
  10. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

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    Again, your opinion. I'm not missing the point cruisin, just because I have a different view than you. I know plenty of Italians who completely disagree with you. I know plenty of people who disagree with you. I disagree with you. Not everything is so straight forward, there's not always a right and a wrong. And luckily we get to decide what we find offensive or not ourselves. If someone's intent is to offend me by calling me a wog, I usually laugh. Why should I let them and that word have power over me? By using the word (among people I know are not offended by it) I'm taking away its power to offend me. You can still be sensitive, I choose not to be. Sometimes, if I really don't like the person or am having a bad day, I'm offended because I don't like others intended to offend me and that pisses me off. But really, there is more to life and I just don't let it bother me. If you think it's demeans YOU, that's fine, but others, some sharing your ethnicity, disagree. And that's okay.

    Of course, we should be sensitive to the thoughts of others when we communicate, but I find it silly that you think you should be able to dictate what I, and others, should find offensive, and shouldn't say.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
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  11. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    And I find it rather arrogant that you think I should not express my opinion. Just as you think the above is fine, I find it offensive. Yet, I'm dictating and you're not. :rolleyes:
     
  12. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

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    :lol: I never said you shouldn't express you opinion. I said I disagreed with it. You said I was missing the point, and I said that I'm not, I disagree with your point. But you go ahead and be offended, and I will go ahead and not be.
     
  13. Jenny

    Jenny From the Bloc

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    Isn't the very idea that some people are allowed to use certain words and others are not actually a bit racist? How black does one have to be to use the n word? How Italian does one have to be, or Jewish or any other race or ethnicity or religion?
     
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  14. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

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    That's an interesting point, and similar to my question - who decides? Is it okay for a white person to say, hey you black people, you can't use the n-word, it's offensive and demeans you? Is it okay for a black person to say, hey you white person, you can't say the n-word, it's offensive and it demeans me (maybe even adding, only I can use it). I don't think anyone should dictate "rules" (though society pretty much has with the n-word) because people can think for themselves and not everyone of the same race, ethnicity or religion has the same opinion. I think instead of "can't" an explanation is better, and a discussion of why the person feels that way, and then sensitivity on both sides. Not everyone knows the background to some terms, and even then, language does evolve and is used differently amongst different culture groups and in different settings. Sometimes language has consequences though, and that is what Paula Deen has now discovered.
     
  15. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

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    When a white person says it, it comes off as at worst racist and at best ignorant and dated. When a black person says it, it comes across as incredibly coarse. You won't catch Condoleezza Rice or Cory Booker using it.

    As for Paula Deen, her alleged wrongful treatment of her black and female employees goes far beyond the use of one word.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
  16. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    Actually, you accused me of dictating how everyone should behave and think. I expressed how I think. Which seems to be a concept that you understand when it applies to you, but not to me.

    Vagabond, I agree with you.
     
  17. topaz

    topaz Well-Known Member

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    Not in my opinion. If a person who is of the same race,culture, religion or ethnic group uses the word in a manner to not to demean the person.
     
  18. topaz

    topaz Well-Known Member

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    How do you know what Rice or Booker use in the private to describe other persons of their and other races? We don't really know.
     
  19. FunnyBut

    FunnyBut Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. I understand that people from older generations might slip and let ingrained behavior slip out, such as using the N-word. It's not the right thing to say, but sometimes our past never leaves us and comes out even though we know better and have better intentions. I do know people who I think are basically very decent say something upsetting from the upbringing. It makes me uncomfortable, I might wince, but mostly I let it go.

    But what is being alleged is that she has shown prejudice against employees over a long period time. (ie only whites and lighter skinned people given server responsibilities, while darker skinned employees stay in the back). That shows an intent to discriminate, that people are being given positions based on skin color, not skills and hard work. That's plain wrong, and certainly, if true, justifiable grounds for the lawsuit. What she might have done as an employer bothers me much more anything she might have said.
     
  20. Simone411

    Simone411 aka IceSkate98

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    That old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me isn't apparently the whole case with regards to Paula, I'm afraid. FunnyBut, I agree. What she may have done as an employer bothers me much more than the name calling.

    I know in my dad's case, it really didn't bother him one way or the other about the name calling. He just actually let it go through one ear and out the other because of the kind of a person he really was - which IMO, he was a very decent, intelligent and wise man. My dad didn't think twice about going out into the mine field and saving the Sergeant. Apparently, it did open the Sergeant's eyes to what he had done, and he regretted his actions. The best thing of all was that they became very good friends.
     
  21. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

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    True, but do you actually think they do? It seems inconceivable to me.

    IIRC, you are African-American, topaz, so I'm particularly interested in your perspective on this. Do you know of any black people with Ph.D.'s or J.D.'s who use the word in private?
     
  22. Jenny

    Jenny From the Bloc

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    When I hear the n word used by musicians about other black people, it doesn't appear to be a compliment. Similarly, its use between black people in movies does not appear to be a compliment either.

    But back to my question - how does one qualify to use such words? The world is pretty mixed up - most people aren't pure anything - so how black or Italian or Jewish or anything else do you need to be to be "allowed" to use these words?
     
  23. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    At the conclusion of Paula's interview with Matt, she said, "I is what I is, and I'm not changing." :wall:


    What a PR nightmare. The world HAS changed, Paula. See Ya!
     
  24. Buzz

    Buzz Well-Known Member

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    Deen needs to do what Anthony Weiner did. Go away for a while and then try again in a couple of years.
     
  25. OliviaPug

    OliviaPug Well-Known Member

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    In my view, yes.

    O-
     
  26. Andora

    Andora Well-Known Member

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    I'm interested in Topaz's thoughts as well, but does it matter if Topaz knows people with Ph.D.'s or J.D.'s who use it or not? People tend not to use swear words in polite/general company. Wouldn't that apply here? Like Topaz said, who knows what they say in private?

    Are non-African Americans really trying to qualify who can use the n-word?
     
  27. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

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    No, I did not.

    Yes. But really, why should one group of people decide anyway? Not all African Americans think the same way. Which group gets to decide who can and can't use the word? Sounds like some think it should based on university degrees...I really have no idea why that is relevant at all.
     
  28. Andora

    Andora Well-Known Member

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    Wow.

    Probably not the privileged group that-- not so long ago-- regularly used the word (among others) to denigrate a very marginalized group.
     
  29. Sasha'sSpins

    Sasha'sSpins Well-Known Member

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    My point is that Deen grew up in a highly charged, racially murderous environment in those decades. She may have even been sheltered to an extent but she surely heard about it at school. And as for the lynchings, you are probably right although I am sure many were never reported especially dating from slavery days. And lets not forget KKK cross burnings, bombings, and assassinations they carried out And as I said in my post Clinton's background privileged or no doesn't mean persons of such backgrounds aren't racists. There are doctors and lawyers who are members of the KKK. I still say Deen's upbringing is the reason she said what she said decades ago. We learn from our environment. The past is gone and she should be forgiven for anything she may have said in her youth. The more recent events are more concerning to me. Several African-Americans have been speaking in her defense including her pastor friend. I guess he would know Paula better than most of us here. You seem to keep trying to convince me that Paula Deen is this evil, wicked person and I'm just not buying it. She's an ignorant woman who made a mistake and she's trying to do her best to make up for it. She's also being punished, losing one sponsor after another. She's being crucified and I don't agree with that. She didn't rape or murder anyone, she used inappropriate words that she has owned were wrong and has asked for forgiveness. You don't have to forgive her. I do.

    Paula Deen is not a racist:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb5HDsympiE
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
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  30. Whitneyskates

    Whitneyskates Well-Known Member

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