Lawsuit Alleges that Paula Deen Used N-Word and Had Racist Dinner Parties

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by overedge, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    And I find it rather arrogant that you think I should not express my opinion. Just as you think the above is fine, I find it offensive. Yet, I'm dictating and you're not. :rolleyes:
  2. Angelskates

    Angelskates Active Member

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    :lol: I never said you shouldn't express you opinion. I said I disagreed with it. You said I was missing the point, and I said that I'm not, I disagree with your point. But you go ahead and be offended, and I will go ahead and not be.
  3. Jenny

    Jenny From the Bloc

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    Isn't the very idea that some people are allowed to use certain words and others are not actually a bit racist? How black does one have to be to use the n word? How Italian does one have to be, or Jewish or any other race or ethnicity or religion?
    OliviaPug and (deleted member) like this.
  4. Angelskates

    Angelskates Active Member

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    That's an interesting point, and similar to my question - who decides? Is it okay for a white person to say, hey you black people, you can't use the n-word, it's offensive and demeans you? Is it okay for a black person to say, hey you white person, you can't say the n-word, it's offensive and it demeans me (maybe even adding, only I can use it). I don't think anyone should dictate "rules" (though society pretty much has with the n-word) because people can think for themselves and not everyone of the same race, ethnicity or religion has the same opinion. I think instead of "can't" an explanation is better, and a discussion of why the person feels that way, and then sensitivity on both sides. Not everyone knows the background to some terms, and even then, language does evolve and is used differently amongst different culture groups and in different settings. Sometimes language has consequences though, and that is what Paula Deen has now discovered.
  5. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

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    When a white person says it, it comes off as at worst racist and at best ignorant and dated. When a black person says it, it comes across as incredibly coarse. You won't catch Condoleezza Rice or Cory Booker using it.

    As for Paula Deen, her alleged wrongful treatment of her black and female employees goes far beyond the use of one word.
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
  6. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    Actually, you accused me of dictating how everyone should behave and think. I expressed how I think. Which seems to be a concept that you understand when it applies to you, but not to me.

    Vagabond, I agree with you.
  7. topaz

    topaz Well-Known Member

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    Not in my opinion. If a person who is of the same race,culture, religion or ethnic group uses the word in a manner to not to demean the person.
  8. topaz

    topaz Well-Known Member

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    How do you know what Rice or Booker use in the private to describe other persons of their and other races? We don't really know.
  9. FunnyBut

    FunnyBut Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. I understand that people from older generations might slip and let ingrained behavior slip out, such as using the N-word. It's not the right thing to say, but sometimes our past never leaves us and comes out even though we know better and have better intentions. I do know people who I think are basically very decent say something upsetting from the upbringing. It makes me uncomfortable, I might wince, but mostly I let it go.

    But what is being alleged is that she has shown prejudice against employees over a long period time. (ie only whites and lighter skinned people given server responsibilities, while darker skinned employees stay in the back). That shows an intent to discriminate, that people are being given positions based on skin color, not skills and hard work. That's plain wrong, and certainly, if true, justifiable grounds for the lawsuit. What she might have done as an employer bothers me much more anything she might have said.
  10. Simone411

    Simone411 aka IceSkate98

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    That old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me isn't apparently the whole case with regards to Paula, I'm afraid. FunnyBut, I agree. What she may have done as an employer bothers me much more than the name calling.

    I know in my dad's case, it really didn't bother him one way or the other about the name calling. He just actually let it go through one ear and out the other because of the kind of a person he really was - which IMO, he was a very decent, intelligent and wise man. My dad didn't think twice about going out into the mine field and saving the Sergeant. Apparently, it did open the Sergeant's eyes to what he had done, and he regretted his actions. The best thing of all was that they became very good friends.
  11. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

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    True, but do you actually think they do? It seems inconceivable to me.

    IIRC, you are African-American, topaz, so I'm particularly interested in your perspective on this. Do you know of any black people with Ph.D.'s or J.D.'s who use the word in private?
  12. Jenny

    Jenny From the Bloc

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    When I hear the n word used by musicians about other black people, it doesn't appear to be a compliment. Similarly, its use between black people in movies does not appear to be a compliment either.

    But back to my question - how does one qualify to use such words? The world is pretty mixed up - most people aren't pure anything - so how black or Italian or Jewish or anything else do you need to be to be "allowed" to use these words?
  13. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    At the conclusion of Paula's interview with Matt, she said, "I is what I is, and I'm not changing." :wall:


    What a PR nightmare. The world HAS changed, Paula. See Ya!
  14. Buzz

    Buzz Well-Known Member

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    Deen needs to do what Anthony Weiner did. Go away for a while and then try again in a couple of years.
  15. OliviaPug

    OliviaPug Well-Known Member

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    In my view, yes.

    O-
  16. Andora

    Andora Well-Known Member

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    I'm interested in Topaz's thoughts as well, but does it matter if Topaz knows people with Ph.D.'s or J.D.'s who use it or not? People tend not to use swear words in polite/general company. Wouldn't that apply here? Like Topaz said, who knows what they say in private?

    Are non-African Americans really trying to qualify who can use the n-word?
  17. Angelskates

    Angelskates Active Member

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    No, I did not.

    Yes. But really, why should one group of people decide anyway? Not all African Americans think the same way. Which group gets to decide who can and can't use the word? Sounds like some think it should based on university degrees...I really have no idea why that is relevant at all.
  18. Andora

    Andora Well-Known Member

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    Wow.

    Probably not the privileged group that-- not so long ago-- regularly used the word (among others) to denigrate a very marginalized group.
  19. Sasha'sSpins

    Sasha'sSpins Well-Known Member

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    My point is that Deen grew up in a highly charged, racially murderous environment in those decades. She may have even been sheltered to an extent but she surely heard about it at school. And as for the lynchings, you are probably right although I am sure many were never reported especially dating from slavery days. And lets not forget KKK cross burnings, bombings, and assassinations they carried out And as I said in my post Clinton's background privileged or no doesn't mean persons of such backgrounds aren't racists. There are doctors and lawyers who are members of the KKK. I still say Deen's upbringing is the reason she said what she said decades ago. We learn from our environment. The past is gone and she should be forgiven for anything she may have said in her youth. The more recent events are more concerning to me. Several African-Americans have been speaking in her defense including her pastor friend. I guess he would know Paula better than most of us here. You seem to keep trying to convince me that Paula Deen is this evil, wicked person and I'm just not buying it. She's an ignorant woman who made a mistake and she's trying to do her best to make up for it. She's also being punished, losing one sponsor after another. She's being crucified and I don't agree with that. She didn't rape or murder anyone, she used inappropriate words that she has owned were wrong and has asked for forgiveness. You don't have to forgive her. I do.

    Paula Deen is not a racist:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb5HDsympiE
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
    euterpe and (deleted member) like this.
  20. Whitneyskates

    Whitneyskates New Member

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  21. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    Most of the interview didn't bother me... until the part where she said she didn't know if using the N-word was inappropriate. That kind of sealed the deal for me, unfortunately, but I've never been a huge fan of hers. I think her food is disgusting.
  22. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    The comments on that huffington post article are just infuriating.

    Have their always been this many people on the internet talking about how Whites (capitalized) are oppressed or is it a new thing? I swear I didn't notice it happening quite so often until a few years ago. Or did it coincide with Obama's election or re-election?... (I realize only one of the above is like but there are, of course, more on the article if you have the stomach to go look.)
  23. kosjenka

    kosjenka Well-Known Member

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    I remember when a friend of mine sent me a video from a US morning TV show where Barbara Walters was reading something out of a book they were discussing and a a black co-host got very upset about about "the way she said the N-word" and how it is not okay for white people to even say that word.
    The other co-host was Whoopi Goldberg and she also had something to say about that, but since the audience did not start laughing to this ludicrous hypocrisy - i turned the video off.
  24. milanessa

    milanessa engaged to dupa

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    I'm not trying to convince you of anything and never called her an evil, wicked woman. I just don't like hyperbole, pseudo-sociology, and revisionist history.
  25. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    I don't see where milanessa tried to convince anyone that Paula Deen was an evil, wicked woman. Most of her post was just pointing out that your statistic on lynchings was totally, totally off by a very large amount.

    And while I certainly agree with you that Deen's upbringing is what would have led her to say such a word in the distant past, the allegations are not in the distant past, and I don't think that her apparently inability to decide whether or not the n-word is inappropriate is okay given that we are no longer in the distant past. Do I think that makes her evil? No, but I think it doesn't speak very highly of her.

    But like I said, I was never buying her products anyway.
  26. overedge

    overedge Well-Known Member

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    I think she just needs to go away. She will look like a bigger clueless fool than Weiner if she tries to come back.
  27. orbitz

    orbitz Well-Known Member

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    Caesars Entertainment and WALMART have dropped her. I think QVC will follow too. But Dean did put QVC in an awkward position when she publicly stated on the TODAY that QVC has not dropped her [yet].

    She's doing more harm to her brand than good by going on TV. She never really said sorry about anything but blamed other people, ie someone evil out there is trying to destroy what she had worked hard for, .... and then she ended her interview with the idiotic "I is what I is ..". Ugh.
  28. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

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    Andora, for the purposes of this thread, any black person topaz (or any other African-American person here) knows who has a Rice-like or Booker-like public persona will do.

    On the other hand, I don't think using the "'N' word" is quite like using swear words. I know plenty of people with advanced degrees who use swear words in private conversations, but I can't think of a time I have ever heard any of them -- black or otherwise -- use that word.
  29. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

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    She's too tacky for the folks in Las Vegas and Arkansas now? Even Tonya Harding didn't fall that far.
  30. VIETgrlTerifa

    VIETgrlTerifa Well-Known Member

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    There's a historical connotation with the word, and it was used to subjugate, demean, and remind black people where they stood in society by white people. I don't like that some black people use it with one another and don't have the respect or understanding of the full power of the word. I also am not sure how effective it is to "take back" the word because it doesn't erase the historical racism associated with it. However, because there's such a historical difference between black people and white people using it, I think that explains why white people using the N-word is perceived as worse than when black people use it amongst themselves.

    Anyway, all this focus on her use of the N-word has made people forget what the initial reactions were when her passages of her deposition came out. It was about a lot more than her use of the word.
  31. topaz

    topaz Well-Known Member

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    Actually yes I do. They usually say the way as a "jest" or to emphasize the crazy antics or actions of people of my race. I personally do not like to use the word "Ni***" however I have used the work Negro. I use that word when I am referring to someone of my own race acting silly, or stupid or embarrassing themselves.
  32. Sasha'sSpins

    Sasha'sSpins Well-Known Member

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    Frankly, I think this will die out in a few months-especially when the next big scandal comes along.

    Home Depot and Caesars Casino dropped her as well. Her main comforts, apart from her friends and family, is probably that she still has a lot of fans on her side-and a lot of money.

    You're not flat out calling Deen evil or wicked but that's what I'm getting from your posts. If you are referring to me in that last part of your post, I'm not trying to 'revise' history nor am I using hyperbole,or pseudo-sociology. I'm stating my opinions just as you were. Sorry if it's too much for you and you finally had to resort to insulting me. I suggest you ignore my remarks from now on. I'll do the same for you.

    This is true. But it's the 'n' word that the media and everyone else seem to have latched on to. She's not doing herself any favors either by appearing on tv-and saying 'I is what I is'. :rolleyes:
  33. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    are you paraphrasing or did she literally say "i is what i is"
  34. AliasJohnDoe

    AliasJohnDoe Spin Alissa Spin!!!

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  35. oleada

    oleada Well-Known Member

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    Literally.

    Anyway, Deen doesn't get it; the use of the N word is just one among many complaints of racial discrimination and a hostile workplace.
  36. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    eek!

    so far the dialogue over her choice of words is overshadowing all of the other offenses. some of them are common in her industry so i hope exposing them makes other owners/managers think twice.
  37. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

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    Oh gosh, that video was hard to watch. Speaking of hyperbole:

    "Please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me."

    I mean, really?

    I agree with whomever said that she should have just come out at the beginning and said a short, honest apology and then left it at that.
  38. VIETgrlTerifa

    VIETgrlTerifa Well-Known Member

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    She's really not making herself sympathetic. I sort of feel sorry for her because there's obviously a cognitive dissonance going on.
  39. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    i dont know if she has an inept PR team or just doesnt listen. if anyone advised her not to settle out of court they are crazy.
  40. Andrushka

    Andrushka New Member

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    Has anyone posted here the actual court documents yet?I read those today,it's about SO much more than the N word.If what the documents said is true,which,I believe it probably is.She is guilty primarily of condoning horrible,racist behavior.