Is it natural to get grumpy as you get older?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Aussie Willy, Dec 20, 2010.

  1. Aussie Willy

    Aussie Willy Well-Known Member

    18,142
    2,173
    113
    Do people's levels of intolerance get higher as they get older?

    My mum who is in her mid-60's certainly complains about a lot more things but is also a lot more racist than she used to be. But there is also a woman here at work who is also in her 60s and seems to hate so many people and always complaining.

    Maybe I see it more because of the particular people I am around. But they have also had those shows about Grumpy Old Men and Women.

    Is it just me or is it something that really is quite common?

    I just know I certainly don't want to end up like that!
     
  2. nubka

    nubka Well-Known Member

    7,908
    1,365
    113
    My mom is a wonderful person, but she is definately more grumpy than she used to be. Where did her sense of humor go? As she has really aged, she doesn't have much interest in staying young at heart.

    Luv ya mom - who knows what I'll be like at your age (though I would always like to stay young at heart...:))
     
  3. Allen

    Allen Glad to be back!

    13,148
    2,389
    113
    My mom is in her mid 50s and she is substantially grumpier than even 5 years ago.
     
  4. mmscfdcsu

    mmscfdcsu Skating Pairs with Drew

    12,170
    3,894
    0
    %&^$*#& What the hell kind of question is that? :mad: :mad::mad: :p ;)
     
    cholla, genevieve, gkelly and 7 others like this.
  5. skatemommy

    skatemommy Well-Known Member

    3,226
    187
    63
    my dad's declining health I think contributed to this. Empty nest, chronic pain, cataracts, loss of mobility, etc. I get grumpy thinking about it; but I have too much to do right now to dwell on it.
     
  6. marbri

    marbri Hey, Kool-Aid!

    11,218
    2,023
    113
    My theory is with each passing decade your bullshit radar improves that you have less and less tolerance for crap.

    So you appear grumpier and I guess you are grumpier but it's because you've seen it all so many times before that you won't bother wasting a second more of your time on the same old same old because you really weren't born yesterday :D
     
  7. Garden Kitty

    Garden Kitty Tranquillo

    25,270
    5,590
    113
    My mother always says that as you get older you've got your same personality - only more so. The happy people seem to get even happier, and the grumpy ones tend to get grumpier.
     
  8. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

    3,930
    1,494
    113
    My 72 year old mother has not gotten grumpier, but I have with her. I love her to death but sometimes I just want to stick my fingers in my ears and start singing Row row row your boat... Actually I find I'm less tolerant of things as I age (4 years shy of 50 here), except for in coaching. I have an autistic adult skater I teach and people say I have the patience of a saint to teach her. I wouldn't call it that at all as I'm just doing my job. She's such fun to teach I wouldn't give her up for anything.
     
  9. rjblue

    rjblue Re-registered User

    5,878
    864
    113
    From The Ballad of Lucy Jordan:
    As the weight of our unfulfilled dreams settles on us, some of us go crazy, but most of us just get more impatient and grumpy. I see it a lot in myself. (age 49)
     
    immoimeme and (deleted member) like this.
  10. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

    18,013
    2,353
    113
    My grandmothers have both been terribly negative in their old age (though one of them was pretty much always like that). The negativity just seems to come from them in waves. No one does anything right and everyone is against them. I'm terrified of ending up like that. I try really, really hard to fight my critical tendencies now so I won't fall into the habit.
     
    cholla and (deleted member) like this.
  11. KatieC

    KatieC Going in circles

    4,924
    1,968
    113
    I think I like this one. When I was fairly young, I visited my grandma in the hospital - and she was fun to visit. Shortly after that, I visited my aunt in a hospital, and she was a B*tch. Ten years later, I learned my aunt was in for something fairly serious, whereas Grandma was healthy as a horse. So maybe that accounted for their moods. Twenty years after that, I again visited Grandma in the hospital, except this time she was dying, and yet she was still fun to visit. And the aunt? She's still a B*tch.

    So I made up my mind to be happy. It's a lot more fun. And when I am down, I call my friend and she makes me laugh so when I get off the phone life is good again. I can do the same for myself, but it takes a little longer.
     
  12. 1lutz2klutz

    1lutz2klutz New Member

    25
    10
    0
    I think part of it is actually fear- fear that the majority of their lives has passed, fear of being alone or helpless, fear of not being able to keep up with the speed that the world changes. What comes across as negativity might just be a reaction to feeling less in control.
     
    LynnW and (deleted member) like this.
  13. Holley Calmes

    Holley Calmes Well-Known Member

    3,867
    824
    113
    This is a very wise messsage. But for me, I think at age 61, I'm just pissed off that I don't have another 70 years to enjoy life! Seriously, I'm not grumpy at all. In fact, I feel lighter and happier in some respects and heavier in others. I don't have to work so hard, but I don't have many of the wonderful things of younger life to re-live, like young children and youthful emotions. But then again, I have two gorgeous grandchildren that I can enjoy and love but don't have to worry about raising. There is such encouragement in the idea that you have "time" when you are younger. Now I don't have as much, but I am also so grateful for the life I have had and can still reasonably expect good days to come. Heck-good decades!

    When you hit your 50's....your parents or other older relatives and friends begin to pass away or suffer....and yet you are still strong and healthy but you realize there is nothing you can do to save your loved ones from dying, no matter how strong you are or how much money you have. It's like a wake-up call of reality. Maybe one is not invincible or omniscient or have all the answers. I think anyone can experience this at any age, but the mid-50's seems to be a common time. One begins to see the finish line and know that there is still time, but we must use it wisely!

    Perhaps a sense of impatience with those who "have all the time in the world" plays a part. It's like I want to shake the shoulders of the young and say "Don't take this for granted!" But yet I love youth and love young people and their spirit and energy so much. Each era is a treasure. I do not like older people who shake fingerrs and admonish young people. I do not like older people who think they "know it all." Some might know more-some might not depending on how they've lived their lives.

    Here's to life. Joi de vivre!
     
  14. Taso

    Taso Well-Known Member

    6,687
    372
    83
    You know, I've never met you, but this quality about you comes across so well in your other posts. And until a post I read I think yesterday, I thought you were actually decades younger :D
     
  15. JasperBoy

    JasperBoy Heading for Helsinki

    3,126
    513
    113
    I have two theories about this, and I just hope that I can remember them long enough to type them!

    First, after a certain age, say 60, we may no longer feel that we have to please everyone. If we don't like something we will say so. Chances are we can't get fired or punished for speaking our mind. We could also be set in our ways and like things done the right way.....OUR WAY!

    Second, the body no longer produces as many hormones, and people get grumpy for physiological reasons.

    For myself, I like to think that I am more cheerful than I was in my 40s & 50s. I am certainly much happier now. However, when I am in pain I am definitely grumpy.
     
  16. Marlowe

    Marlowe Well-Known Member

    1,913
    317
    83
    Getting older doesn't mean one has to become an old crank.

    I practice Chi Kung and Tai Chi, and I and my many friends and classmates (of all ages above and below 60) are all getting happier... not crankier!
     
  17. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    11,214
    1,039
    113
    I can definitely see this in my mom. Now that us kids are grown and taking care of ourselves, she's happy to chirp, "It's your life, do whatever you want!" rather than yelling at us to study. :lol: She's so much more happy-go-lucky than she was before, even though she's gone through a bunch of health issues.

    Even my dad has chilled out a bit, although he'll still give you a long lecture if you ask a simple question. :lol:
     
  18. paskatefan

    paskatefan Well-Known Member

    3,966
    552
    113
    I need to take this approach to life (and remind my husband about it). :D
     
  19. Cyn

    Cyn Well-Known Member

    21,222
    5,556
    113
    I forget who said this first, but the quote is something like this:

     
  20. Schmeck

    Schmeck New Member

    123
    14
    0
    My mom, who just lost my dad a few months ago, has definitely gotten grumpier - but we call it depression, and she sees a doctor (and takes meds) for it.
     
  21. Auntie

    Auntie New Member

    1,144
    243
    0
    My Dad was always grumpy and tense while we were growing up. Now he is positively happy go lucky. :confused: I think it's because he doesn't have to worry about his job any more. My Mom on the other hand ... last Christmas eve while driving home from church she complained vehemently when we got stuck behind a long line of traffic. It was firemen and a firetruck with Santa delivering presents to poor neighborhoods. Now that's grumpy!

    The million dollar question is how do you avoid becoming a grumpy old person?
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2010
  22. paskatefan

    paskatefan Well-Known Member

    3,966
    552
    113
    Well, for starters, keep yourself productively busy, and try to associate yourself with people who have an upbeat outlook on life.
     
  23. snoopy

    snoopy Team St. Petersburg

    6,179
    1,025
    113
    I think grumpiness in older people can be related to health and/or slower reflexes (like 70+ older). Things just take longer to do then they used to. Say…. something like reading the signs while driving. If you haven’t had any sensory decline, you take that kind of thing for granted. Some people can laugh about their declining speed and memory but I think others get agitated over it.
     
  24. Aceon6

    Aceon6 Get off my lawn

    6,674
    1,131
    113
    I'm definitely more grumpy. My health is fine. I don't have any physical limitations. I just don't feel the need to smile sweetly when someone stomps on me, and have lost patience with folks who never learned common courtesy. The nice part about being grumpy is that I can get pi$$ed off for a second, get over it, and go on to have a decent day.
     
    immoimeme and (deleted member) like this.
  25. Holley Calmes

    Holley Calmes Well-Known Member

    3,867
    824
    113
    Hey-60 is the new 40! :lol:
     
  26. floskate

    floskate Vacant

    8,817
    2,319
    113
    I totally agree with this!! It's so true. Both Mr Flo and I rant on a daily basis about the various incompetences we come across, often laughing at ourselves for the grumpiness we come out with. I have to say that at times we resemble Waldorf and Statler and really, we're still quite young. :lol:

    That said, I always feel better afterwards once I've had a grumpy old moan. But for sure I will be one cantankerous old bitch someday. The writing's on the wall already! :shuffle:
     
  27. let`s talk

    let`s talk Banned Member

    943
    94
    0
    I noticed that the older generation is ruled by one simple axiom: those who don't lecture younger strangers how to behave are the smartest. Works offline and online.
     
  28. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

    3,930
    1,494
    113
    Then again there's always the one about the younger generation should be seen and not heard. Works online really well.
     
    KatieC, mpal2, Nan and 5 others like this.
  29. Bev Johnston

    Bev Johnston Well-Known Member

    1,169
    81
    48
    I wonder if maintaining some sort of physical activity helps. I know I feel better after a good skate (or even a bad one) or a class at the Y. I think it's getting those endorphin levels up, plus the social aspect involved with being out and about with others. I notice that I get cranky and down when I spend a lot of time on my own, in my house. And I've always been that way.

    My grandmother got horribly cranky as she got older. Her world just became smaller and smaller and the only thing she saw was what was presented to her on tv. I think some sort of social life would've helped immensley.
     
  30. merrywidow

    merrywidow Well-Known Member

    4,463
    395
    83
    I'm 75 & I agree with some of what has been written. However, I don't think I'm grumpier but I do complain more about my deteriorating health, politics & not being able to do as much in a day as I used to do. There is a well known health product (advertised on TV) that I had the misfortune to take for a month after a heart attack & it definitely alters your personality. The very first day I quit taking it I was back to being upbeat instead of hating the world. I've spoken to others who have been on this product (or their spouses) & they've experienced the same personality change. So you may want to check out the meds your old people are on. I may be slowing down physically but I think I'm almost as sharp mentally as I was.