If the dinosaurs had not died out, who would be the OGM contenders?

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by orientalplane, Apr 9, 2013.

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Which dino do you think will win?

  1. Sinosauropteryx

    3 vote(s)
    3.0%
  2. Ankylosaurus

    2 vote(s)
    2.0%
  3. Triceratops

    9 vote(s)
    9.0%
  4. Stegosaurus

    6 vote(s)
    6.0%
  5. Brachiosaurus

    5 vote(s)
    5.0%
  6. Tyrannosaurus

    12 vote(s)
    12.0%
  7. Archaeopteryx

    13 vote(s)
    13.0%
  8. Velociraptor

    50 vote(s)
    50.0%
  1. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

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    With the asteroid (or possibly comet) missing the earth, the dinosaurs are saved. In the ice ages that follow, many creatures learn to skate. Under the ISU's Section 548, dinosaurs compete against Homo sapiens for the OGM. Here are some of the colourful dino-competitors:
     
  2. danafan

    danafan Canadian ladies ├╝ber

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    That depends - was it IJS or 6.0????
     
  3. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

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    Here are some dinos to look out for:

    Sinosauropteryx – Very colourful costumes, sometimes quite garish and outlandish, immediately mark this one out as an OES. With a skull longer than its femur it frequently uses its head to remarkably beautiful effect during spins and the choreographic sequence. Unfortunately it can’t jump to save its life.

    Ankylosaurus – With its heavily armoured body it bears a resemblance to Elvis Stojko. The massive tail, however, is often also used as an artistic feature as the dinosaur can whip it around as, for instance, when using flamenco music, or else slowly move it curvaceously about to create a glide that Patrick Chan would be proud of. If skating pairs the tail is occasionally used by the male in death spirals.

    Triceratops - Immediately reminiscent of Mao Asada because of the bony frill around its neck, Triceratops has a well-balanced and compact body that enables it to be a very consistent jumper. Many people find its brand of artistry to be the best in the world, but it has yet to win the biggest prize of all.

    Stegosaurus – With its all-round ability but unusual posture it reminds some people of Miki Ando. Its distinctive double row of decorative plates seems likely to have been used in battle, particularly with highly aggressive predators such as Morozosaurus.

    Brachiosaurus – a vegetarian skater that is very popular around the world. Its graceful long neck allows it to move gently round the rink, making its layback especially stunning. However, its gigantic lower body makes all of its movements slow, and this is especially evident when skating directly before or behind Velociraptor. Never likely to win because its bulk means that its jumps are limited, but it’s nevertheless safe to say that it is always a pleasure to watch.

    Tyrannosaurus – a large frame and massive hind limbs never did Tonya Harding any harm. Entering competitions as the reigning OGM gives it huge confidence, while its most powerful weapons are its 4T and its rows of terrifying teeth, the latter almost matching Caydee Denney. Don’t mess with this one. However, as some fans have pointed out, the male is quite useless in pairs, the weak and tiny forelimbs making him completely unable either to throw or lift his partner.

    Archaeopteryx – much admired for its artistry and ability to glide around the ice in a manner some commentators have described as “floating”. This also gives it great height on its jumps, which are generally landed with aplomb. Its sharp teeth and claws make it fiercely competitive, not a dino that is likely to be fazed by the Olympic pressure. Its glorious spread wings during flight are reminiscent of Sasha Cohen, while the pairs teams time their side-by-side jumps and throws to perfection and rarely miss.

    Velociraptor – Its skull is uniquely up-curved, giving the carriage of the head a proud magnificence and the ability to make unusual programmes work to exquisite effect. It has evolved enlarged sickle-shaped claws on the hind feet, which are an innovation that is much more efficient than the conventional toepick. Its speed around the rink and razor sharp teeth makes it a formidable competitor, even when the prey is relatively small. Judges tend to go crazy with the GOE as it has been known to eat them when defeated.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2013
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  4. Sparks

    Sparks Well-Known Member

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    IJS = International Jurassic Scoring
     
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  5. GarrAarghHrumph

    GarrAarghHrumph I can kill you with my brain

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    I voted for Veloceraptor. They are very fast, and we know fast skating is rewarded under COP. They're also quite agile and relatively thin, for a dinosaur, which should help with rotation in the air.
     
  6. judgejudy27

    judgejudy27 Well-Known Member

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    I like the smaller and cute one that killed that really ugly fat jerk on Jurassic Park. They seem so sweet then they turn on you, or maybe it just turned on him since he was such a big meanie. I dont know what kind those are though.
     
  7. PrincessLeppard

    PrincessLeppard Pink Bitch

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    Compsognathus. I find their small frame makes them skate more juniorish than other dinosaurs.
     
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  8. Alixana

    Alixana who is on vacation!!

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    OMG. I love FSU. :lol: Off to do some research on dinosaurs so as to answer this question intelligently. :cool:
     
  9. quartz

    quartz Far beyond these castle walls

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    Is there a Chanosaurus? If so, all other dinosaurs might as well go find a tar pond to fall into.
     
  10. rfisher

    rfisher Satisfied skating fan

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    Archaeopteryx: The Kwan of figure skating.
     
  11. Seerek

    Seerek Well-Known Member

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    This one's a tough one to call since figures were 80% of the total score during peak-prehistoric-period era...(8 figures? yikes)
     
  12. Southpaw

    Southpaw Saint Smugpawski

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    Barney
     
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  13. lala

    lala Well-Known Member

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    Yes, it was my thought, too. :) But I voted to Velociraptor.
     
  14. girlscouse62

    girlscouse62 Active Member

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    I had to go with Velociraptor. Speed, grace, elegance, and can think fast. If it gets itself in trouble it can make the necessary adjustments and still win the whole thing.
     
  15. zaphyre14

    zaphyre14 Well-Known Member

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    I'll go with T-Rex, since all it has to do is chow down an every other competitor during the warm-up. *gulp* And if that fails, it can devour the judges. Survival of the fittest, y'know.
     
  16. bardtoob

    bardtoob Well-Known Member

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    6.0 Figures and Freeskate, Tyrannosaurus.

    6.0 Figures, Short Program, and Freeskate, Velociraptor.

    6.0 Short Program and Freeskate, Sinosauropteryx.

    IJS Short Program and Long Program, Archaeopteryx.

    I live in the now, so I voted Archaeopteryx :rofl:
     
  17. JasperBoy

    JasperBoy Well-Known Member

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    I vote for the Plushenkosaurus.
     
  18. iarispiralllyof

    iarispiralllyof Active Member

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    i'll have to think about it before coming to a proper conclusion, but I have to say that ankylosaurus is obviously a late-cretaceous period tonya harding, especially with that convenient club built into its tail!
     
  19. gkelly

    gkelly Well-Known Member

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    If the events are mixed species, why wouldn't a Homo sapiens win?
     
  20. falling_dance

    falling_dance Bravo, Patrick.

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    "The beautiful (but deadly) dilophosaurus."
     
  21. Nan

    Nan Just me

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    But can they point their toes??
     
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  22. Skittl1321

    Skittl1321 Well-Known Member

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    Bah- you're believe the politiking put out by it's federation. There is no evidence that any of the venom spitting nonsense in Jurassic Park was true.
     
  23. lala

    lala Well-Known Member

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    :rofl: Omg! How could I forget it?
     
  24. falling_dance

    falling_dance Bravo, Patrick.

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    :eek:

    Do you know if the self-reported height of the raptors on their ISU bios is accurate, or do they tend to overstate their stature?
     
  25. bardtoob

    bardtoob Well-Known Member

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    Velociraptors would have a distinct advantage since they would be born with blades on their feet.
     
  26. Skittl1321

    Skittl1321 Well-Known Member

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    They probably give their height with their skates on...
     
  27. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

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    Homo sapiens have only been around for thousands of years; they haven't had the training time.
     
  28. girlscouse62

    girlscouse62 Active Member

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    Also, homo sapiens very bad at politiking. No one can possibly vote for someone without a strong federation, there is no 'quid pro quo' Also Nan it isn't necessary to be able to point toes or have good lines :)
     
  29. falling_dance

    falling_dance Bravo, Patrick.

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    Do the species' respective federations have their own championships? Between the noise, six-hour long zamboni breaks, and staggering depth of the field, Tyrannosaurus "Nats" would be brutal.

    Also, I'm assuming that withdrawals due to having been killed and eaten during the warmup would be fairly common occurrences. :(
     
  30. girlscouse62

    girlscouse62 Active Member

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    Absolutely not. Skating is a very refined sport, they only eat their young
     
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