I got engaged! Unfortunately....

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by woodstock, Dec 26, 2011.

  1. Tesla

    Tesla Whippet Good

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    Is the ring made from gold? If so, that explains the $2200 cost. Gold jewelry has gotten very expensive.
     
  2. kwanfan1818

    kwanfan1818 I <3 Kozuka

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    The price of gold has gone up by almost 70% over the last two years.

    Part of this discussion reminds me of something in one of the first or second Miss Manners books about gift-giving. I loaned them to a friend, and I don't have a direct quote, but the gist is of the story is that the long-time butler of a rich woman of impeccable taste traveled to Egypt and brought her a gift of a large, gaudy electric fountain, and what would she do? The answer was that she displayed it prominently where she entertained, because she could always get new friends, but a good butler was irreplaceable.
     
  3. taf2002

    taf2002 flower lady

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    I recently bought a white gold solitaire band & plain wedding band for a stone my mother left me & I'll bet it has more gold in it than a single gemstone ring & the set only cost a little over $500. I looked at Littman's website & the most expensive gemstone ring they had was $636. (It was amethyst, peridot & blue topaz with diamond accents.) They had many 1 ct tw engagement rings for well under $2000. Something's wrong here if he was charged $2200.
     
  4. Tesla

    Tesla Whippet Good

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    Does white gold cost the same as yellow gold? I think yellow gold has gotten really expensive. And of course you can get cheaper rings. I don't know the composition of the butterfly ring so I don't know if it's priced appropriately.
     
  5. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    IIRC it is gold, mother of pearl, and diamond chips.

    You can get a half-carat ideal-cut diamond solitaire with a platinum band for less than $1000 at bluenile.com. Woodstock's fiance was totally ripped off. :mad:
     
  6. Habs

    Habs Well-Known Member

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    Yes, it does.
     
  7. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    :confused: Sure there was, don't carry a balance. I think I was 30 before I ever missed one payment on anything...I never carry a balance now and overpay my mortgage, and my credit rating's never been below 800. You can always avoid interest with credit cards. (I don't even know the rates on mine, I never have to apply them.)
     
  8. my little pony

    my little pony snarking for AZE

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    then this thread wouldnt exist, it is nothing but input from strangers. the only problem seems to be the input that doesnt agree with her.
     
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  9. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    If I had a dime for every time I've seen a thread where the OP asked for advice and didn't like what they heard I would be able to buy woodstock's ring several times over.

    And $2200? For mother of pearl and tiny diamond chips? There better be some hefty gold in that ring because otherwise he got taken to the cleaners.
     
  10. woodstock

    woodstock New Member

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    He got ripped off. :(. Local jeweler that made my cousins rings priced mine at 1,500 max....custom made. We know what we have to do. :(
     
  11. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

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    I hope "Call the BBB" is on that to-do list.
     
  12. taf2002

    taf2002 flower lady

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    The BBB has no clout. The only thing is if people question the BBB regarding Littman's they will see Littman's rating with them. The BBB can't make a business do anything.
     
  13. woodstock

    woodstock New Member

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    I don't have issue with the input that I don't agree with. If you noticed earlier in the thread I was also receiving less than kind advice. And I said nothing.

    I do have issue with some of the recent comments such as Jayar's, in which he mentioned my fiance running for the hills. To post something like that, in that manner, was uncalled for.

    I asked for advice regarding the ring, I certainly got it. Much of it helpful and constructive and informative about jewelery.

    I did not ask to be insulted and ridiculed in a cruel fashion.
     
  14. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely. Good you got some hard numbers. Have you decided to buy another?

    The BBB couldn't hurt. Leaving a scathing review on Yelp couldn't either. At least writing it could make you feel better. :D
     
  15. leesaleesa

    leesaleesa Active Member

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    Agreed. However, the part where she says she will probably reutrn it, even though it's damaged, she dislikes it, and it's incredibly over priced does lead one to believe there's some stuff going on that's fairly immature.

    Take it back or stop complaining. Sh*t or get off the pot. Anything beyond that is drama.
     
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  16. rjblue

    rjblue Re-registered User

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    Your thread title versus the problem the thread is about does call for a little ridicule. Some of us can't help but see red flags for this "unfortunate" engagment. This is FSU, if you behave like a wuss, you'll get called on it.

    I've been married 30 years, no romantic proposal,but we were engaged for a year, without a ring.
     
  17. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    Okay, but do it. Don't waffle about it. Don't let the store intimidate you. Tell them you want your money back. The ring is defective. Did you get an appraisal, from the other jeweler, in writing? Use that to show them they overcharged you. If they flat out refuse to reimburse you, exchange it and get one of the simple 1/2 ct rings they have. They have some very pretty ones. There is one that has an exaggerated square setting that sort of resembles a butterfly. Go to Littmans prepared to do battle!
     
  18. AnnM

    AnnM Active Member

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    He got ripped off because he purchased the ring at a mall store instead of a local jeweler or wholesaler. That's like Jewelry Shopping 101.
     
  19. taf2002

    taf2002 flower lady

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    Oh please, there are MANY reputable mall stores.
     
  20. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    Yes, there are. Littman's, however is not such a great choice. Especially if you don't know much about jewelry. I'm not really a fan of Kay Jewelers either. Keep in mind that not reputable and over priced are not necessarily synonymous. Fortunoff had very nice merchandise, but was very over priced. Probably why they went out of business. Ross-Simon is better, but more pricey than a neighborhood jewel.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2012
  21. woodstock

    woodstock New Member

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    I'm not a great fan of Littman's now. As for sh*t or get off the pot. The ring only broke on Monday. (And when I decided to keep it around New Year's, after that the ring was a non-issue...until it broke). I certainly have NOT been whining all the month long. Also, we don't live together yet, so I don't see him every day, and I don't feel our ring discussions are appropriate for the telephone, there's too much sentiment and emotion attached to it. Also, he has custody of his young son, so it's not like we can run off to the jeweler at a moments notice to take care of this. As many who have very young kids know, it's a bit tough to have a discussion in a public place when at least one adult is only able to pay half attention to the conversation since they're also monitoring their child. And a trip to the jeweler is not worth requesting favors for babysitting. So quite often these type of things wait until his ex has her custody weekend.

    I finally convinced him that we just can't possibly keep this ring (because he goes back and forth on his willingness to return it too). Both on price point of overpaying by at least $1000 it's actual worth, and the fact that the warranty does not cover stone replacement. And it was only by luck that I managed to find the pearl piece when it broke on Monday so it was simply re-glued into place, had I not we would have been paying for a new pearl. He actually is fine with me wearing it until we get married, then having a separate wedding band and putting this one away. He even suggested such yesterday. But this time I held my ground, because no way can I justify him over-paying so much for a ring that will only sit in a box ten months from now, even if he is fine with it.

    I'm hoping we don't have much issue with Littman's tomorrow. Based on it still being within 60 days and having broken. The only thing they can really fuss on is the fact it was sized, but having broken afterward I should be able to make them refund us. And I don't want to exchange. In fact, I'm leaning toward no ring at all. Any ring I chose will not really have any meaning or sentiment to it, it would be just spending money to have a pretty thing on my finger. There are better uses for our money than that.
     
  22. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    Just don't wait too long. The longer you wait, the harder returning it will be.

    Actually, your homeowners would have covered replacing the stone. There is limited jewelry coverage in most homeowner plans. If you had a very valuable piece, you would get an individual rider on that piece.

    That doesn't seem practical. And, as you've already seen, even limited wear is iffy for this ring.

    My only concern with regard to them reimbursing you, is that you had them fix it. You should have insisted on a refund when it broke and said no to fixing it. You may have to accept an exchange, but don't accept the same ring.

    Oh, that's how you feel right now. If the two of you go together and pick out a ring, it will have special meaning. Probably more meaning, since you did it together. As my mother would say, don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2012
  23. GarrAarghHrumph

    GarrAarghHrumph I can kill you with my brain

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    You're going there tomorrow? I wish you the best of luck.
     
  24. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

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    Given how hugely important this is to you, and what an ordeal it's been, I would say that babysitting requests are appropriate. If I was a good friend of yours' and lived nearby, I'd have offered already,

    Good luck with it woodstock.
     
  25. BittyBug

    BittyBug Kiteless

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    Last I checked, children are portable. If you want to get this done, you could bring the kid with you.

    Message for Woodstock
     
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  26. cruisin

    cruisin Well-Known Member

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    ^^ How cool would it be, to change the "O" in Do, into an engagement ring? I bet, even Woodstock (given the situation), would find that adorable and funny.

    Woodstock, I was thinking, since you have very small fingers, have you considered a pear shaped stone in a simple "Tiffany" setting? It would be narrower than the round or butterfly shapes, you've seen. Pear shapes were a bit "dated" for a while, but they are back in style (big time) now. The ring below is classic. Only sending you to the site for style, I know nothing about it.

    http://www.biggestdiamond.com/diamo...re-diamond-engagement-ring-with-good-cut.html
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2012
  27. woodstock

    woodstock New Member

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    The deed is done. And although I know children are obviously portable, it was best we didn't have him with us as things got a bit tense in the return. I think we finally won over our case when we pointed out that the lifetime warranty covered stone replacement, but excluded pearls. And it was the pearl settings that were the issue with the ring.

    It also turned out that with tax and cost of the warranty he paid over $2500 for that ring. Yikes. Even if he did so willingly, I just don't feel right for him paying that much, plus the expense of a $1000 wedding band to go with it. Too much money.

    The jeweler I went to for consult said he could replicate the ring, custom made for about $1200. So I told my fiance if we ever wanted to for a 5 or 10 year anniversary gift he could have my engagement ring remade in my size, for a much more appropriate price. Then I could use it as a special occasion or once in a while wear anniversary band. And not worry about daily wear and tear. So if he really wanted me to have that specific ring, it's not a lost option for it being something special in the future.

    I'm still leaning more towards forgoing an engagement ring. The wedding is about nine months away, no sense buying a ring to wear when I'll have a band soon. And I was thinking of going for a more antique style band that would really work best standing alone. This sort of grabbed my attention

    http://www.marleneharriscol.com/categories/AntiqueStyleWeddingBands/WB5625.html

    It's flat profile, prong settings, cleanable with a soft brush. Even if I did lose a stone, it would be much easier to replace than a colored flat pearl, and probably not extremely costly as they are small stones. It would just require 6 month checks for the prong stability. And I'm sure one in my size would price even lower as I wear a full size smaller than the ring shown.We'd have to see what our local jeweler can come up with pricewise, but anything would definitely be below the $2500 butterfly ring. Plus this ring is a one and done, I don't see how an engagement ring would work with this band, no sense to buy one for a few months.

    And....he's kind of liking it and seeming a bit better spirits over the whole ring deal since I pointed out that the scrollwork in the middle sort of looks like ocean waves. He's considering a bit of a nautical/rope type etching in his wedding band (as he used to be in the navy). I told him it would be kind of nice if our rings linked a little bit in regard to theme as a pair. That idea appealed to him, and I'd much rather have something that defines a bit more unity, rather than our own very individual rings. But he's liking that idea, so hopefully it eases the hurt he felt over having to return the engagement ring.
     
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  28. kwanfan1818

    kwanfan1818 I <3 Kozuka

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    Excellent news, woodstock! I think you've come up with a wonderful solution that honors you both.
     
  29. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

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    Woodstock...please don't take this as any sort of insult, it is not intended as such....

    You have been exceedingly indecisive about all of this, so make sure that you are certain you know what you want before you buy/order another ring!
     
  30. woodstock

    woodstock New Member

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    Oh, we definitely will. But I think the biggest hurdle is over since the original is returned. Part of the difficulty in it all was his sentiment to having looked specifically for butterflies and paid so much for something he wanted to be special. And then it grew on me as sentimental after wearing it for a month as my engagement ring. Now that we've let go we can move on for something right for both of us (and price, durability, etc).

    And we'll be looking for a while. I'll need an expert opinion on the durability of the ring I linked. See if we can get one to try on and look and feel before making any decision. It does appeal to MY tastes though, and once I pointed out the wave aspect he really started to like the idea too. We'll see. No rush. We have nine months to decide. You don't even really need rings to be married, that's more a cultural/preference thing anyway.