Continue the Story 2013!

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by snoopysnake, Mar 24, 2013.

  1. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

    Meanwhile, back at the rink, Marina woke up and slowly got to her feet, with a scowl on her face. She was still scratching herself, however, so Brian, Nathalie and Florent were reluctant to offer her a hand.
    Marina's scowl increased as she looked at them. "You are rude, selfish skatinas who do not help a damsel in distress! I am unconscious but I hear you babble in French. You have plan to destroy Speedy, I understand that part. Now, tell the rest! In Eeenglish!"
    "Err, I said Hello my friends" offered Florent. "And then Brian asked what I was up to, so I explained that I was I was practicing my new program. Nathalie asked if I was doing it on a skateboard and I said I was. And then Brian said I was crazy!" he scowled.
    "Eys," added Nathalie. "And then Florent insult Brian, and say that he should speak for himself, his maman is in a psychiatric hospital. And Brian try to hit Florent, but I stop him, even though Florent is being not very nice. And I say never mind, will you help us with our plan to destroy Speedy. So Florent agrees, and I tell him to call Speedy and say...........
  2. aliceanne

    aliceanne Well-Known Member

    When Katarina overheard Johnny as she stood outside the boutique she thought that Johnny wanted a fur rug to pose nude on just like her playboy pictorial. She thought that would be a good plan to increase skating viewership so rushed to the rink to tell Marina about it. Marina on the other hand thought it would be the perfect plan to get rid of Speedy, so she pretended to take Katarina seriously even though she secretly thought she was nuts...
  3. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

    Nathalie stomped her foot, which was encased in a very expensive, very chic leather boot, and proceeded to throw a hissy fit.
    "Assez!" she shouted. "Enough! Silence, all of you. There are too many people running around. Here at zee rink, there in zee boutique, eez too much!"
    Marina, still scratching herself, sneered at Nathalie and said, "Nyet! Who die and put you in charge? I am in charge, da!"
    "Nyet!" said Florent. "Nathalie is correct. And you have zee contagious disease, you must go to hospital with Brian's maman!"
    "Oui!" agreed Brian. "You are too bossy!" He beckoned to an EMS technician who had suddenly materialized in the rink . "Over here, oui! Zees woman has horrible disease, take her away!"
    "Nyet!" insisted Marina. "Is just my allergy."
    "Yes!" insisted Nathalie. "She has zee plague!"
    The EMS man loaded Marina on a stretcher and took her away, despite her screaming protests.
    "Bien!" said Brian. "Now eez just the three of us here, and we take care of zees bozo Speedy."
    "Which means what?" asked Florent.
    Nathalie whipped out her cellphone and quickly punched in a number.
    "Which means.....I call Speedy now! You talk to him and say what we agreed before!" She handed him the phone with an eville grin.
    "But, but..." sputtered Florent.
    "Ciao!" said Speedy in an irritated voice. "Che e questo? Speak up, I am a busy man!"
    "Is, is, Florent Amodio," squeaked Florent.
    "You! Whatsammatta you, why you bother me, eh?"
    "I called to say.........."

    (Florent did NOT call to say "I love you")
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2013
  4. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

    ..."You must politik for zee French skaters and make sure we get zee medals at Olympics," squeaked Florent. Feeling braver, he continued, "And then you must retire. Oui! You will do zees or you will be sorry!"
    "Pasta fazool! Never!" shouted Speedy. "YOU will be sorry you threaten me, si! I politik against you and you don't qualify for Olympics. Ha!"
    "Mais non!" Florent was beginning to enjoy this. "If you don't resign on your own, we make you resign from zee disgrace, Oui! We have zee photos!"
    Speedy broke out in a cold sweat. What photos could that scrawny bambino be referring to? He couldn't possibly have photos of the time he, no, it was not possible. The little twerp was bluffing, he was sure of it. He would be sorry he had ever dared to speak to the great and powerful Speedy. Ha! But wait. Florent had said "we" had photos. Who else was he conspiring with?
    "Basta!" said Speedy. "Enough! Who is with you, eh? I put out a contract on all of you, si! But first, I force you to volunteer at Olympics - as the flower girl!"
    "Noooo!" howled Florent.
    "Si!' shouted Speedy.
    Natalie quickly snatched the phone from Florent. "Ooh la la, Mr. Speedy. We have zee photos of you dressed like zee woman. If you do not resign, we post them on zee web!"
    Speedy recognized Nathalie's voice and began to sweat alarmingly. How could she possibly know he was creeping around in the rink, posing as Tatiana Tarasova? Wasn't she back in France?
    Brian got impatient, waiting for Speedy to respond, and grabbed the phone from Nathalie. "Oui, we have zee photos! And we cause zee scandal for you!"
    Speedy's blood pressure skyrocketed. Joubert was plotting against him, too? He'd force that pitiful mama's buy to work as a flowergirl, too. And he'd make him wear a tutu while he did it. That would teach him a lesson, all right. "You!" he screamed. "Joubert, you are a disgrace. You have no photos and I make you sorry! I sue you for libel! How could you have my photos, eh?"
    Nathalie took the phone back. "We are on zee other side of the rink, Mr. Speedy," she said sweetly. "You wear such a horrible wig, tant pis! I think we post zee photos on zee web right now!"
    "No, wait!" begged Speedy. His goose was cooked. Shit!. He'd have to do what they said. Unless.....
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2013
  5. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

    Speedy stumbled out of bed, horribly hung over. "Mamma mia!" he gasped, catching sight of himself in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, and his toupee was askew. He bore a distinct resemblance to a ferret. A dead ferret, in fact. he never should have drank all that grappa the night before.
    "Oh, mio dio!" he moaned, as he made his way to the kitchen. A double espresso would sort him out and he'd look like his suave, slimy self again.
    .The espresso was strong and he began to feel almost normal. He swore he'd never drink an entire bottle of grappa in one go again. Suddenly, though, he shuddered, as he recalled the dreams he'd had in his drunken stupor. "Che diavolo!" he shouted. He hadn't been dreaming - he'd had horrible nightmares! His hands shook as he tried to remember them. He'd been mincing around, dressed as a woman! Was this a message from his subconscious? Trembling violently, he remembered more of the nightmares. He'd been blackmailed by that mamma's boy Joubert. And that annoying, whining Amodio! They had tried to blackmail him. Him! The great and powerful Speedy.
    Speedy moaned and let out a sob, before getting a grip on himself. He was acting like a fool and needed to straighten himself out at once. "Basta!" he said. "Enough, I had some silly dreams, but they mean nothing. Ha! I will drink my espresso and eat a pastry, and I will be the magnificent Speedy as usual. Si!"
    Chuckling, he went to fetch the newspapers off the front doorstep. He reached for his copy of the "Italia Enquirer" first. It was a sleazy rag, full of stories about people who'd been abducted by aliens and women who gave birth to babies with four heads. But it gave him a laugh.
    He froze with shock as he looked at the front page.
    There was a picture of himself, wearing a fur coat, high heels, and a cheap wig. And lipstick!
    The headline said: SPEEDY'S SECRET LIFE AS A TRANSVESTITE!!!!!
    Just then the phone rang. Hands shaking, he picked it up and said, "Pronto! Who is this?"
    A voice replied, "Ciao, Speedy! It is............."
  6. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

    ...."Sal Monetti! Sono un giornalista del Corriere della Sera!"
    Speedy moaned and clutched the kitchen table for support. Had the mainstream press already gotten wind of his photo? This was not good news. In fact, it was very bad news indeed.
    "Err, umm," he sputtered, frantically trying to think of what to do.
    "Puoi commentare la tua foto?" asked Sal.
    No, he did not want to comment on the photo! He wanted to drink another bottle of grappa and pretend that last night never happened."Andare all'inferno!" he shouted.
    "E molto provocative!" said Sal.
    "Io non sono un transvestite!" Speedy shouted, praying that this stronzo would hang up and leave him alone.
    "Si tratta di una di charazione politica?"
    A political statement? wondered Speedy. What was this buffoon on about? Then Speedy thought of all the fuss about Putin's anti-gay laws and the upcoming Olympics. Perhaps he could get himself out of this compromising situation!
    "Si!" agreed Speedy. "Io sostengo diritti dei gay! Putin e un pazzo!"
    "Fantastico!" cried Sal.
    Speedy was unable to shut up and declared, " Mi vestiro come una donna in Russia!" before hanging up.
    "Cosa e successo?" Speedy wondered. What had just happened? He'd told a reporter that he was making a political statement by dressing up as a woman. That was certainly better than being accused of being a transvestite - or being blackmailed by that wuss, Amodio - but what had he gotten himself into in return? He'd just told the man that he supported gay rights and Putin was a fool. And he, the great and powerful Speedy,would wear a dress to Russia.
    "O dio mio" he moaned. "Grappa...grappa...I need grappa!"
    Just then the phone rang again.
    The voice at the other end belonged to.........
    Dr.Siouxs and (deleted member) like this.
  7. bronwynsings

    bronwynsings Active Member

    Evgeni Plushenko, who had immediately heard about Speedy's protesting of Russian gay rights from Twitter and knew he was the perfect person to help him stage a coup against Putin. After all, Plushenko could become the leader of Russia if it worked, and who WOULDN'T give the Olympic Gold to the leader of the home country? He could finally get what he deserved from Vancouver.

    Plushenko's plan involved getting as many figure skaters and their coaches involved in a protest against Russian gay rights. He had already tried to talk to Johnny Weir, but he was too distracted by whether or not Aliona had put the right amount of rhinestones on the left leg of his new costume. But if he could get others, then Putin will be taken down and Plushenko could become the new leader and therefore the new Olympic gold medalist. It was brilliant!

    Plushenko was taken out of his thoughts, though, when Speedy replied...
  8. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    "Looka behind-a you behind-a, you horse-a-behind-a Plusho-shoosh-o." Evgeni spun around (leg in Biellmann) to see a full squad of Speedy's henchwomen, led by Skary Babs.

    "We keedanappa you, Plusho-busho-bomba-sexa!" declared Babs. "Speedy! We gotta heem where-a we wantsa!" Several spaghetti-stained Italian grannies kicked Evgeni's legs while Babs snapped handcuffs round his ankles and footcuffs (?) around his hands.

    "Now we fly-ya you to Indiana!" squealed Speedy gleefully. "You-a trade-a place weetha defunk-a bastaballa player born-a eena nine-a-teen and feefty-seex!" Evgeni had no idea what was going on.

    Alex Shibutani, however, with his avid attention to Boston sports, knew that something was wrong when watching Russian Nationals online. "That's not Evgeni!" he gasped, grabbing the arm of his sister who sat next to him on the couch.

    "Ow!" yelled Maia, who quickly grabbed a throw pillow and whapped Alex in the face. "So who is it, then, sibling?"

    "It's Larry Bird!" groaned Alex. "He can't possibly skate this short program! It's got 4 quads in it!"
  9. immoimeme

    immoimeme my posts r modded

    But little did the shib sibs realize that since his retirement in 1992 it had always been larry joe's dream to win another Olympic gold medal. They also never knew about all the years he spent practicing 3pointers on the points of 2 thin blades. Eys few knew that larry bird was a sekret figure skater par excellance. But the world was about to find out...
    snoopysnake and (deleted member) like this.
  10. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Phil Hersh, always hot on the trail for rumors, phoned Bird's former teammate Kevin McHale. "I heard you are training for the Irish Men's Figure Skating Championship, coached by Kevin Vanderperren," accused Hershie.

    "What the hell are you talking about?" yawned McHale.

    "Well, you want to beat Larry, don't you?"
  11. Zemgirl

    Zemgirl Well-Known Member

    "I already have," he told Phil, "why do you think Larry's skating at Russian Nats with Johnny Weir designing his costume? It's because he lost a bet!"

    McHale promptly hung up, satisfied with the success of his ruse. Him, competing in figure skating? Ha!

    He was actually coaching, and he knew exactly what his prize pupil needed to do to ensure a podium placement...
  12. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    "If anyone knows about attractive arms, it's me!" declared Kevin, picking up the framed, signed photo from his pupil. It was inscribed, "Everything I have achieved in skating is thanks to you. With much gratitude and respect,____________________________________________"