Continue the Story 2011!

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by snoopysnake, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    "Vass zees?" asked Miki Ando one fine Russian afternoon. Nikolai Morozov shuddered, covering up the piece of paper that he was writing on.

    "Vat? No thing to be of concerning you, my leetle treepel-toe combo dollink," replied Morozov. Miki scowled and snatched the paper from his hands.

    "Guess lees for inviting for wedding....Sochi 2014?!?" she read in astonishment "But you said we get marriage next year, latest! And for why all girls only names writing on zees paper?"

    "I do not!" retorted Morozov, shaking his head and scattering droplets of hair gel. "Look, look, I writing men names too. See? Cinquanta invited."
  2. blue_idealist

    blue_idealist Well-Known Member

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    BAHAHAHAHAHA
  3. TheIronLady

    TheIronLady New Member

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    Hahahaha. My favorite part is the hair gel.
  4. blue_idealist

    blue_idealist Well-Known Member

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    I'd like to continue this but I'm not even sure exactly how lol.
  5. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Just write whatever you can think of to continue the story.
  6. blue_idealist

    blue_idealist Well-Known Member

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    "Why are you inviting Cinquanta to our wedding?" Miki asked angrily. "I don't want anyone who picks their nose there! Plus, what about MY friends? I have some male friends I want to see me get married!"

    "Whatever! Javier Fernandez is NOT coming," Morozov retorted. "I won't stand there and look him in the eye after all those nasty fans made up stories about you and him. The only way I'd possibly let him come is if he wears a purple suit with clown buttons like the magnificent one I got him for the short program last season, but unfortunately he informed me he burned that and will not be getting another one, so, his loss."

    Miki rolled her eyes. "What about Adam Rippon? We're good friends." Morozov looked even more annoyed. "I don't want to see that guy again, ever! I'm tired of all these arrogant fools who just leave me after all I've done for them! Fools, I say!" He stomped off, throwing the list in the trash bin on the way out. He dialed a number on his cell phone when he got into his office, where he knew Miki wouldn't follow him. "Hi, is this Florent? I was wondering if you'd like to go out for some drinks," he said. He had noticed that Florent was really growing into a handsome young man lately, and thought maybe he needed a night out to get back in touch with his wild side. After all, he showed some sexy moves in his 2011 free skate.
  7. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    "I'll be back," Morozov mumbled, waving bye to Miki as he went out the door. Miki began to cry and took out her cell phone, thinking about whom to call. Finally she dialed a number and was relieved to hear ringing and not Johnny Weir's voice mail greeting.

    "Hello? This is Miki. Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, Johnny!" she sobbed. "You have to help me!"
  8. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    "Allo, who eez zis?" trilled Florent.
    "Florent! Da! Is me, Nicky!"
    "Ah, oui! How are you? And how eez your, how you say, leetle woman?
    "My what? Oh, you mean Miki. Never mind her. I have request for you, da!"
    "Oui? What eez it?"
    "You must meet me in Moscow. Tomorrow! Da!"
    "Mais non! You have, how you say, ulterior motive. I am not interested in zee love triangle!"
    "Nyet! Is not for love traingle. You must come tomorrow."
    "Well........I will get zee flight to Moscow."
    "Excellent. Meet me in the bar. Eight o'clock, sharp. Da!"
    "Mais oui. I will see you tomorrow. Au revoir!"

    Florent hung up and went to book his flight. Little did Nicky know that Florent was the one who had an ulterior motive...........
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2011
    Finnice and (deleted member) like this.
  9. Finnice

    Finnice Well-Known Member

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    Florent had always dreamed of Johnny. Always. He was his grand amour. And Miki, of course, told all things to Florent.
    So Florent hurried to Moscow, only to see that his dreams were horribly....
  10. walei

    walei Well-Known Member

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    I am not a good writer so i won't contribute...but someone PLZ PLZ PLZ write Shae Lynn Bourne into the story...i HEART her!
  11. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ....nightmarish.
    Florent came out of customs at the Moscow airport feeling grimy and grumpy. Mon Dieu! The immigration agents had handled every item in his luggage. And had had the nerve to laugh at some of them. So what if he had lipstick and mascara in his suitcase? He was a public figure (well, sort of) and needed to look his best at all times. And they'd groped and fondled him, searching for contraband. He wouldn't have minded if they had been good looking and muscular, but they weren't. They were chubby and hairy and smelled like vodka. Mechant!
    Trying to get a taxi to take him to the hotel was a pain in his backside. He spoke no Russian (except for some curse words picked up at competitions) and the taxi drivers spoke no French. Finally he resorted to waving a 100 Euro note in the air while shouting, "No-Tell Motel, City Center!"
    That did the trick, and he finally made it to the hotel. Leave it to Nicki to pick out the cheapest place in the city for their meeting. The tightwad! Florent was glad he had reserved a room for himself at the Grand Hotel Moscow. He wouldn't mention that to Nicki, though. Let Nicki think that he, Florent, would come running whenever Nicki snapped his fingers. Ha! Nicki would never guess why he REALLY came to Moscow.
    But what the hell? Where WAS that sleazeball, anyway? Florent had jetlag and wanted to take a nap. Why wasn't Nicki waiting for him? Perhaps he was in the restaurant and not the bar? He would just take a quick look, and if he wasn't there, screw him. Not that he'd ever sleep with Nicki, of course. He had his standards. He was young and cute and buff. Nicki was middle aged and flabby. Quelle dommage! No, if Nicki wasn't there, the hell with him. He would go to his 5 star hotel and request a massage. From a nice looking man with bulging biceps. And preferably a bulging....
    "Florent!" screeched a female voice from inside the restaurant, interrupting his fantasy. "Come in, mon cherie, I have wait long time for you!"
    Merde! he thought. What was SHE doing here? This was going to put a major crimp in his plans.
    But who was waiting for him in the restaurant? Why, it was....
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2011
  12. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

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    ...Brian Joubert's mother. What could she possibly want?? It certainly didn't take her much time to...
    Sparks and (deleted member) like this.
  13. cx3

    cx3 New Member

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    . . . produce a crow bar and whack Florent's right knee with all her might.

    "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!, Whaaaaaeee!?" yelled Florent (his accent even thicker than usual) as Mme. Joubert jumps into a car and speeds away. As the car sped away, Flo just made out the shape of none other than Brian Joubert himself!

    Still writhing in pain, Flo felt someone picking him up. He looked up to see Nicky looking worried to death. As Nikolai carried Flo down the street, he. . . .
  14. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ....Nicki cried, "Holy $hit! Thees woman, she is skatina! Beeg fat skatina! "
    Florent clutched his leg and whimpered, "a what?"
    "An animal! Beeg, fat bossy animal!"
    "My knee!" wailed Florent. "Eet huuurts!"
    "Da, da! I take you to my apartment. We feex you up, it good as new!"
    "Mais non! I need a doctor, a hospital, rapidement!"
    "Nyet! No hospital. You go to hospital, they cut off your leg! You come to my place, Miki feex it up!"
    Florent was in agony and seeing stars. Would they really cut off his leg if he went to a hospital? He'd heard stories about Russian hospitals, but surely they were exaggerated?
    "Okay, oui," he agreed. (Not that he was in any position to argue) "I go to your place. Where eez eet?"
    "Is right there! Down zis street!"
    Trust Nicki to live close to a sleazy motel, thought Florent. He was probably a regular patron. What a sleazebag! Hopefully his apartment looked better than the motel did.
    Nicki hoisted Florent over his shoulder and hustled him through the lobby and into the elevator.
    As Nicki attempted to find his keys, a door opened.
    Florent looked up to see...........
  15. natalia65

    natalia65 New Member

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  16. cris_c

    cris_c Guest

    ... a most beautiful angel, surrounded by divine light."Em I ded and gone to heven? Mon Dieu!" Florent thought. "I em too yong to die! Not ountil I get my Olympic medal and kick Brian's azz". However, the angel looked so beautiful and peaceful, that Florent started hearing the divine music of the spheres (AKA "You are not alone") and prepaired himself for the great journey beyond. He had forgotten all the pain, all his anger against Mme Joubert, all his very mixed feelings towards Nicky. But just as his heart filled with serenity, a voice broke the peace abruptly. Initially, Florent could not realise just WHAT was wrong. It took him more than a quadruple salchow rotation time to figure it out. Suddenly, he could understand Russian. Because what he heard was (spoken in Russian, of course) "What are you doing here, Elena? I told you never to come to the motel!". And suddenly, Florent's ethereal world broke up, as he realised the divine light was the neon lamp in Nicky's room and the angel still looked like an angel, but was no other than... you guessed right. Elena Ilynikh! And suddenly, everything came back to him. He now understood the horrendous conspiration he had uncovered. Because deep within Morozov camp a dark secret haunted everyone. Something so gloomy, so utterly unimaginable, that the whole world of figure skating would be thrown apart, if found out. And beyond the pain in his leg, beyond Nicky's sleezy hand touch, a thought dawned upon him. If he lived, he would fight the evil, he would dance it, spin it, step-sequence, +3 GOE it to death! But he could not do it alone. And with the speed of a Russian "до свидания", he knew, at that very moment who could help his crusade. None other than...
  17. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Stephane Lambiel. After all, he spoke French, but was Swiss so would have no preconceived Joubert loyalties. Maybe Miki could help convince Steph to teach artistry to both Miki and himself, reinforcing Steph's reputation all the more. If only FloMoDo didn't have to worry about Patrick Chan. And with Shae-Lynn (ta-da!) being a loyal Canadian as well as ex-Morowife, she'd be in the Chan corner all the way. Unless....
  18. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    .....Florent was still hallucinating from the pain in his knee.
    Mon dieu! He could not help whimpering, even if it made him look like a wuss. His knee hurt and he was having visions of angels and Ilynich and Stephane and goodness knows what. He had to get a grip on himself and figure out what had happened.
    One second, he, Florent (who had bested Joubert at Worlds, he couldn't let himself forget THAT!) was in a sleazy flea-ridden motel, looking for that sleazy, god-knows-what-ridden Nicki. Then someone had whacked his knee. He had caught a glimpse of that awful cow, Mama Joubert, before he'd doubled over in pain.
    Then Nicki had carried him somewhere, while he moaned and groaned and hallucinated.
    Florent was able to see straight now, and told himself to focus. At once! If he did not clear his head, he would never get the chance to beat Joubert again, or get revenge on his bossy maman. Or take care of the business he had come to Moscow to do!
    Florent looked up to see someone wrapping his knee. It was...........
  19. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ....Brian Joubert!
    "You!" shrieked Florent. "Take your hands off me, traitre! You are degoutant, a beast! You and your fat maman!"
    "Mais non!" replied Brain. "Be quiet, I feex your knee."
    "Menteur! You lie! You and your maman try to kill me. You are jaloux because I score higher than you! I am hot and you are not!"
    "Idiot! My maman whack the wrong person!. Now stand up and see how your knee feel."
    Florent got to his feet, glaring at Joubert. His knee felt much better, but he was not going to act grateful to him. Jamais! Joubert was a dirtbag and his maman belonged in jail. A sleazy, filthy jail with sadistic guards. Ha!
    "See, eez better," said Brian.
    Florent glared some more. "Where eez Nicki?"
    "He say something about call-girl and run off," said Brian. "Tant pis!"
    "I still theenk you are big liar!" sneered Florent. "If your maman do not mean to whack me, who she meant to whack?"
    "I cannot tell....eez big secret!"
    "You tell me now....or I tell everyone you sleep with Nicki."
    Brian shuddered with revulsion. "No, please! I tell you. She mean to whack.........
  20. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Speedy," whispered Bronziebeej (see the 2009 story in the archives for the history of this nickname for Brian Joubert.)

    "Cinquanta? Pourquois?" replied Flomodo.

    "Mama's eyes, they ees all out of whack. Mama refuse to wear her lunettes. She see, vision deestorted. Theenks fat skeeny, skeeny fat. Theenks Speedy you, you Nicki, Nicki Speedy!"

    "Formidable!"

    "Good for me, sometimes," admitted Brian J. "I eat all I want, she theenks I am to skeeny, makes me extra pastries. Then when I train and get thin, she theenks I am too fat. Good motivation."

    "How does whacking Nicki's knee help you win?"

    "Facile! Ees pourquois, because...."
  21. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    "Stupide!" scoffed Joubert. "Whacking Nicki does not help me to win. Whacking SPEEDY help me to win!"
    "But I am still not understanding thees. Speedy is a nice man, very kind. Why does your maman weesh to hurt him?"
    "Mon Dieu! I have never met a person so credule, so gullible as you! Speedy is eville, a pain in my ass! And you! You are stupides, an imbecile eef you do not know zees!"
    Florent pouted and considered throwing a hissy fit. Why was Brian blathering about his backside? It was true that he had a very fine backside. But how dare Joubert call him ignorant? It was all an act, anyway. Let Nicki and Joubert think he was a naive pretty boy. Ha! He would have the last laugh on both of them. He would never reveal why he'd really come to Moscow. But he refused to say anything bad about Speedy. Speedy was his hero. He was Italian, and Florent adored all things Italian. Sexy cars, yummy pasta, and hot men. Not that Speedy was hot. But Florent could overlook his appearance, as awful as it was. Especially his hair. Did Speedy wear a toupee? He, Florent, thought Speedy looked like he had a dead animal on his head. But never mind, he knew Speedy had his best interests at heart. Bien sur!
    "Oui," agreed Florent. "I am not knowing the true story. But are you saying Speedy is here? In Moscow?"
    "Not HERE, you cretin!" laughed Joubert. "He is back at the motel, waiting for call girl! Now excusez-moi, I must leave. You must wait here for Nicki, I must find my maman and give her zee tranquilizer!"

    All of a sudden the door opened and a voice was heard.
    "Not so fast, my French friends," said the voice. "We have some business to attend to!"

    The voice belonged to.........
  22. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ...Speedy, of course.
    "Mamma mia! You are both idiota, two stronzos! You think I will not find out what you are up to? You both are pazzo, completeley crazy!" Speedy huffed and puffed at the two shocked skaters.
    Florent hardly knew what to say. He worshipped Speedy. Why was Speedy saying such hurtful things about him? He'd done nothing wrong. It was that insane Joubert and his cow of a maman that had caused all the fuss.
    Brian was not so easily intimidated. Look at that wuss Florent, trembling all over because that imbecile, Speedy, insulted him. He had more backbone. And more muscles. He itched to smack Speedy's ugly face until he begged for mercy. He would put Speedy in his place, and possibly rip that awful toupee off his head. Oui! It would be the best laugh he'd had in weeks.
    "C'est un mensonge, a lie!," he sneered at Speedy. "I have come to Moscow for vacation and eez none of your beezness. You should go back to Italy and buy better toupee!"
    "You are disgrace!" roared Speedy. "You and your fat mamma! You plan to whack me, I get revenge! You call yourself a pattinatore? You are a criminale! I don't care how many quad jumps you do, I put you in jail, si!"
    Florent stopped trembling and found his (high-pitched) voice. "Mr. Speedy, you are merveilleux!"
    Speedy and Brian both sneered at him in unison.
    "Mon dieu, you are such a naive bebe!" said Joubert. "I tell you again, thees man is complete merde!"
    "Si, you are ignorant bambino," agreed Speedy. "Pazzo!. Now, tell me quickly. You supposed to be in Switzerland with Stephane. Why you here in Russia with this buffone Nicki and this criminale Brian?"

    Florent knew he'd have to answer carefully. He could not possibly tell Speedy the truth. But what lie should he tell him?
    "Sir, it eez like this," he said. "I come to Moscow to...........


    (I wish someone would help me out here. I have no idea what Florent's secret mission in Moscow is, where Nicki and Miki disappeared to, how Brian and his mother knew that Florent would be in the hotel, or what the hell Speedy is doing there. :lol: )
  23. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Suddenly a domineering-looking female joined the scene.

    "Ottavio!" she shrieked, in a voice that made Scott Hamilton's sound like Bob Ross's. IRL, snoopysnake adores Scott and the late happy painter, just so you know The voice belonged to the terrifying SKARY BABS! She stared and glared at Speedy with her deathly laser eyes. "This eesa nonnayour beesaness!" She slapped him with the back of her powerful hand. "Now, get OUT!" Speedy did as told; he knew when he was outmatched.

    Barbara opened the door and checked carefully for several minutes after Speedy had made his exit, then returned to confer with FloMo, Nicki, and Joubie and Maman.

    "Okay, my petittas signors, and Mama di Brianji," she whispered. "Now this is what is going to happen...."
  24. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    "Une moment!" squealed mama Joubert. "I am not understanding thees. I was at zee sleazy motel and whack zees skinny boy instead of zee Speedy. I come to find ma petite Brian, and now I am seeing you. You are looking scary, I need zee tranquilizer!"
    "Da, what goes on here?" demanded Nicki. "I am going to visit call-girl and now Joubert turn up! Then Speedy turn up! Then you, Babs, turn up! You are looking more scary than the last time I see you. I have drank much vodka, must be having hallucination. I think I go to rehab and sober up."
    "Oui, you are disgraceful drunk!" sneered Brian. "And zee pervert, too. I see you looking at my backside, oui!"
    "You keep talking about your backside, I theenk YOU are zee pervert!" Florent said to Brian. "But I am hot and you are not. Ha!"
    "BASTA!" shouted Scary Babs. "Enough! You must all listen to me. We have got rid of Ottavio, now we carry out the plan."
    "What is zee plan?" asked Brian.
    "Is easy. We go back to sleazy motel and then we...............
  25. Sparks

    Sparks Well-Known Member

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    ...Call Dick Button. We will ask him...
  26. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ...to come to Moscow, rapido! Si!" cackled Scary Babs.
    This pronouncement was met with puzzled looks from all of her audience.
    "Porquois?" demanded Mama Joubert. "You weesh me to whack him? I can whack him in zee knee, or maybe better to whack him on his head, oui?"
    "C'est stupide!" grumbled Brian. "I am not wishing to see zees horrid old man. He is rude, he insult everyone. He say I am washed up. I theenk he have maladie mentale, he belongs in zee hospital!"
    "Oui, ridiculous!" agreed Florent in his breathy voice. "I am hearing many stories, this man makes many insults. He say I look like girl! Is insultant! Why must we ask him to come here?"
    "What the f*ck?" sputtered Nicki drunkenly. "I am not calling that idiot airbag. He say stupid things. He says I am alcoholic!"
    "You ARE an alcoholic!" sneered Brian. "You just say you go to rehab and get sober."
    "I have changed my mind. I stay here and sober up. But I am not asking this Button here, nyet!"
    "Basta! BASTA!" shrieked Babs. "You are all stupido. Who cares if he is volgare, who cares he is offensivo. Does not matter! We get him here, we make him do what we want. Then we send him to ospedale and he never get out. Si!"
    This was met with nods of agreement.
    "Da, we do what you say," said Nicki. "Who eez going to call him?"
    "Not you", laughed Brian. "You're plastered! And not me! I do not speak zee English!"
    "Je ne parle pas l'anglais!" said Mama Joubert.
    Everyone turned to look at Florent.
    "Mais non!" he squeaked.
    "Yes, you!" answered Scary Babs. "You are outnumbered four to one. And we take away your lipstick and mascara if you do not do what we say!" she said menacingly.
    Florent thought quickly. This was one scary woman. Was she really a woman, though? He thought she might be a transvestite. Had they sex-tested her when she competed at the OLympics? She was bigger than he was and outweighed him by at least 30 pounds. She had more muscles than him. In fact, if he looked closely, he could see that she had more mustache than him, too!
    "Okay, oui," he said, resigned to his fate. "What do I tell him?"
    "You call his phone and then you say..........
  27. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    Who else shoulda knocka up who."

    "You mean whack?" asked Joubert, confused as were the others.

    "No, no knocka up witha bambinos and bambinas!" Babs gave him a soft whack on the head. "You, Nicki, you getta Miki preggo witha bambina. You, Jouberti, you knocka up zee French girls anda thata sneaky Carolina Kostner."

    "Merde! Jamais! Never!" protested Mme. J.

    "I blackamail Margaglio to knocka uppa da Finnish girls. He owes me big time for dropping me in the OD," continued Skary Babs. "We aska Dick Button who should knocka up Yu-Na Kim and the other Japanesa girls. Thenna I all set - become Olympic Ladies Singles Champion for Italia inna Sochi inna 2014!"

    "So you vants all competition of ladeez pregnant so you will win ladies singles!" realized Nikolai. "I can help wees zees, I can! I gets you Ksenia and all other Russia girls hazz babeez for you! Zees great! Votta great idea!" He was getting visibly excited over the prospect, and in turn was getting FloMo visibly excited.

    "Tiens! What do I do?" demanded FloMo. He hated being ignored, especially when he was so aroused.

    "You go backa Brazil. Finda nice melting ice rink and skatea for zem," suggested Mme. Joubert.

    "Whya you speaka Italiano accent?" huffed Babs. "Butta good idea. You do zat, Flo-Rent."

    "D'accord! C'est bien!" announced Joubert. "Vas-y, Florent! Vite!" Then he frowned. "What about Canadian ladies?"

    "What to worry?" asked Nikolai. "Patrick Chan take care of things. Phanoova, pregnant. Joannie, pregnant. Easy."

    "I am better at making zee young ladiees pregnant que Patrique Chan!" protested Joubert.

    "Brian!" Mme. J. gave him a firm whack on the derriere. FloMo ej$%##8ed.

    "What about zee American girls?" asked Brian, rubbing his behind. "Who knocks zem up?"

    "Don-a you reada FSU?" scoffed Babs. "They no chance-a. Owna country no believes inna dem. Letta skate."
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2011
  28. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    Florent pouted and sulked all the way back to the No-Tell Motel. He couldn't figure out why they had to make the call from that sleazy, flea-infested place. His mind worked feverishly, trying to figure a way out of this increasingly bizarre situation. He'd pretended to agree with the others, but he thought they'd all gone off the deep end. He could understand why Nicki had agreed. He was an oversexed pervert. And Maman Joubert was certifiable. The cow! He, Florent, thought she belonged in a padded cell. Bien sur! And Brian? Florent had heard rumors about his equipment. Not that he could ever hope to verify this for himself, of course. It was a well-known fact that Brian was in love with himself, he was probably itching to rush out and make little bebe Brians.
    Florent shuddered at the thought of getting a woman pregnant. Jamais! He'd sooner sleep with Nicki.
    Could he possibly slip away from this crazy posse? Alors, it seemed impossible. Joubert was prodding him in the back to hustle him along, and Scary Babs was giving him her patented Death Glare.
    No, it looked like he was stuck. He would make the phone call, then he would whisk himself off to the Grand Hotel Moscow, where, hopefully, he could put his secret plan into action.
    All too soon, they were in the lobby, and Babs shoved him into the phone booth.
    "Okay, bambino!' she barked at him. "I dial zee number, you tell Dick zee plan! Got it?"
    "Oui, oui," he sighed, resigned to his fate.
    Just as Babs handed him the phone, someone screamed on the other side of the lobby. What the hell? Florent looked up to see............
  29. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ....Miki, looking fit to kill!
    Merde! thought Florent. This woman could give Scary Babs a run for the money in the death glare department. Should he make a break for it while all eyes were focused on her?
    "Nicki!" she screeched in a high-pitched voice. "What you doing here in No-Tell Motel? You say you go out to do laundry, I find you here with these people! What you all doing here together? You all drunk, you all go with call-girl!"
    Scary Babs stared her down. "Stupido! Only Nicki is drunk! Are you saying I look like call-girl? I slap your face!"
    Mama Joubert chimed in, "How dare you! I do not drink, because I am taking zee tranquilizer! My Brian, he does not go with call-girl! Girls chase him, he does not need to pay. Mais oui!"
    "Oui!" agreed Joubert.
    "Eez not your beezness!" squeaked Florent.
    Everyone looked at Nicki to see how he would respond.
    Miki poked him in the chest with a talon-sharp fingernail. "Well? What you have to say for yourself?"
    "Um, is like this," Nicki mumbled. "Is all innocent explanation. We all here because of Florent!"
    "Moi? You tell lies! Merde!" shouted Florent. The slimebag! What the hell was he up to now?
    "Da!" said Nicki. "Is for Florent. We all come here to help him.......
  30. sunnydays

    sunnydays Banned Member

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  31. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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  32. Sparks

    Sparks Well-Known Member

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    "Oh the humanity!!!", said Prince Harry standing in the background. How....
  33. blue_idealist

    blue_idealist Well-Known Member

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  34. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ...the hell did Harry and what's-her-name come to be at the No-Tell Motel in Moscow, wondered Nicki. Could it be a hallucination? Maybe he was having the DT's and should consider going to rehab, after all. But no, they must really be standing there, because his motley group of fellow skaters were staring at them, apparently transfixed. Florent was trembling all over, as usual, Nicki noticed. What a wuss! Nicki watched in disbelief as Florent knelt on the ground. What the hell was he doing?
    "Your highnesses!" he squeaked. He went into a low curtsy. "Eet eez great honor to see prince and princess!"
    Brian sneered at Florent, Harry and what's-her-name in turn. Why was Florent bowing to them? Ridiculous! He, Joubert, would never bow to anyone. He was the king of the ice and everyone could bow to him. Bien sur!

    "Errr, hello!" said Harry. "We are lost, and we were wondering if.......
  35. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    you could direct us to Red Square? Sir Paul McCartney is performing a concert there and my wife," who broke out in a beaming smile, "and I are the guests of honor."

    "I take you!" Miki leapt in a triple lutz over Nikolai's head and grabbed a royal in each hand, leading them away. "You marry in secret? Must tell me all about it. I to be married much soonest. Want wedding gown like Kate, but will marry secret if he marry me more soon zees like." Johnny Weir was waiting for her outside in a limo, and he was thrilled have the Prince and new Duchess/Princess/Whateveress join them.

    "Fabulous to meet you," he declared, kissing each of them on the hand. "Now we will go for a quick stop at Prada before the concert."

    "Pravda, don't you mean?" queried Harry.

    "No, Prada, my most fabulous Prada," replied Johnny. Stella has the secret concert shirts there. Paul is my buddy now (see the original Continue the Story for this PETA PETA PETA tale), but you must not tell him I still wear fur. Miki, Paul will do the music for your wedding, Stella will do your dress, and I will be your flower boy."

    Meanwhile, FloMo was reluctantly speaking to Dick Button, who was scolding him for using vocal music in his LP and stating his firm opinion that FloMo had personally set back men's singles 83 years.

    "It is your duty to leave the sport different and better because you were in it," insisted Uncle Dickie. "What have you to say for yourself?"

    "I-I'm sorry, Monsieur Dick," stammered FloMo. "But I was forced to call you by..."
  36. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ..."By, umm, Scary....." Florent's voice trailed off as Babs shot him a look that could kill. He took a deep breath and tried again. "By Barbara, umm, ummm..." Merde! He would never finish a sentence if that femme horible did not stop staring at him.
    "Ooh, ouch!" he squealed, as Barbara whacked him on the side of his head. "Why you do zees?"
    "What, what?" demanded Dick. "Why did I do what? Explain yourself, twinkletoes!"
    "Ooh, ouch!" Florent squealed again, as Nicki whacked him on the other side of his head.
    "Get on with it, da!" ordered Nicki. "I cannot stay here all night, I need more drink!"
    "You know, this conversation doesn't sing!" chortled Dick. "I think I'll hang up now."
    "Mais non, attends! I tell everything. Barbara Fusar-Poli make me do it. She say you must come to Moscow, we have beeg surprise for you!"
    "Barbara? That's really spiffy!" said Dick. "What's the surprise?"
    "Eez big surprise! Eez.........
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2011
  37. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

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    she wants, GULP!" Babs took FloMo's fingers into a "live long and prosper" position and spread them apart, inducing great pain. "I meen, NOUS, WE, want, you to come and we eenvite Mademoiselle Julia Sebestyen to come and be impregnated by you! You have still zee sperm, oui?" FloMo glanced over to Brian J., who held out a big bottle of blue pills, left over from that unfortunate ladybug incident (the earlier C.T.S. again.) "We have all zee Viaga-ra you need!"
  38. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    Everyone put their hands over their ears as Mama Joubert let out a blood-curdling scream. "Brian! What eez zees? Why you take zees pills? Quelle horreur!"
    "Maman, calm yourself," laughed Brian. "Take zee tranquilizer. They are not mine, I find them in Nicki's apartment!"
    Florent clapped his hands over his mouth to keep himself from bursting into hysterical laughter. This was rich! Nicki on Viagra! He, Florent, had known Nicki was a deviant all along. The dirtbag!
    "Zees pills are not mine!" shouted Nicki. "Nyet! They belong to Florent!"
    "Mais non! You are liar! I am not the one having trouble with, how you say, my equipment!" said Florent indignantly. "I am hot and you are not! Look, eez your name on zee bottle!"
    Nicki snatched at the bottle furiously. "You are thief! Give me back my pills! Thees instant!"
    Brian laughed and said, "Wheee, catch!" as he tossed the bottle to Babs. "Try and get them, pervert!"
    As Nicki lunged for the bottle, Florent saw his chance to escape these insane people. He raced for the door and.........
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2011
  39. Sparks

    Sparks Well-Known Member

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    tripped on a patch of ice. Starttled, he...
  40. Marge_Simpson

    Marge_Simpson Well-Known Member

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    ---could not have possibly tripped on a patch of ice, since it was the end of July and close to 100 degrees outside. Mon Dieu! he thought. Would he never escape this horrible place and these insane people? He was beginning to think he had bad karma or something. Bien sur! Maybe he should look into getting a feng shui consultant. But in the meantime, he had to get away from here,rapidement!
    If he hadn't ran over a patch of ice, what had made him trip? He looked down to see that he had actually tripped over.......a person. Stifling a scream of horror, he realized that it was..........