Are you a cuddly sleeper?

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by skateboy, Jan 11, 2011.

  1. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    4,303
    Yes, this has been brought up on Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond, but here goes...

    I absolutely hate being cuddled when I'm trying to sleep. It just makes me stay awake. The other day I had to get up early for a really important work day. My boyfriend and I went to bed around 11:30 the night before. He fell asleep quickly, but it was taking me longer because he was snuggled up to me. I tried to break away and actually did.

    After about a half-hour I was just about to drift off to sleep, when he suddenly rolls over and puts his leg over mine. So I'm lying there for another hour, attemping to get free without waking him up. I manage to get onto my side and am just about to drift off to sleep, when he turns and puts both arms around me. Wide awake again. This went on until 3:30 in the morning (I had to be up at 6:30).

    Finally I got out of bed, took a blanket and curled up on the living room couch. Managed to fall asleep by about 4:00 a.m.

    Boyfriend wakes up @5:30, comes out and asks me why I'm sleeping on the couch (depriving me of even more sleep in the process). He acts apologetic and hurt and wants me to come back to bed, so I do. He falls asleep immediately and starts the cuddling again. I ended up with about two hours of sleep, with a 12-hour day ahead of me requiring a tremendous amount of mental (and a fair amount of physical) energy. I got through it, but it was VERY tough and not pleasant.

    We haven't fought over this or anything, in fact he felt really bad about it the next day. But this has to stop. I just need to get some SLEEP!

    Can anyone else identify?
     
  2. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2005
    Messages:
    10,798
    I can't sleep with anyone touching me. Some of my friends say the same, or that they can only doze in snatches while in contact with another body. The idea of 'falling asleep in each other's arms' is very romantic but I doubt it's very common.
     
    PeterG and (deleted member) like this.
  3. Prancer

    Prancer The "specialness" that is Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2001
    Messages:
    38,675
    Me.

    It's hard to say "Get off me" in a kindly, impersonal way.

    What I do is twitch a lot (not intentionally, just trying to get comfortable). It annoys my husband and he moves away.
     
  4. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2003
    Messages:
    2,613
    Skateboy, I feel your pain. Having said that, I'd like a nice husband to cuddle up to at night.

    Anyway, this thread reminds me of an episode of The Golden Girls where Dorothy and Sophia are forced to share a bed.

    Dorothy keeps tossing and turning all night, prompting her mother to say, "Would you knock it off. I'd get more sleep on Space Mountain."
     
  5. Ozzisk8tr

    Ozzisk8tr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
    Messages:
    3,930
    I like to spoon in bed, but a good fork is way better. But seriously, I sleep back to back with my SO and we may touch butts for a second, but don't touch me once I've pulled away or you'll discover my wrath. My problem is my partner snores, so every morning without fail at 5:00 ish I kick him out and make him go to another room. Does he not realize I need my beauty sleep? :drama:
     
  6. PrincessLeppard

    PrincessLeppard Pink Bitch

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Messages:
    22,250
    I am not a cuddler. I can't stand anyone touching me, or in fact, sleeping in the same bed with me.

    You can see that this does not bode well for a long term relationship....
     
  7. KatieC

    KatieC Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2003
    Messages:
    4,838
    Isn't that why they had all those single beds in the old movies?

    I'm the same - can't stand cuddling, but the cat doesn't bother me. :lol:
    OTOH snoring makes me a bit snarly - apparently I have a real temper over that.
     
  8. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2005
    Messages:
    10,798
    I love cuddling! :swoon: Just not when it's time for sleep.
     
    Erin and (deleted member) like this.
  9. antmanb

    antmanb Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    3,482
    I'm a cuddler in bed, thankfully Mr Antmanb is also a cuddler.

    Actually though i think we fall asleep cuddling and then move apart once we're asleep. I'm always too warm in bed so invariably end up with feet and arms out from under the duvet to regulate my heat.

    Ant
     
    PeterG and (deleted member) like this.
  10. mpal2

    mpal2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Messages:
    9,276
    Maybe the problem is the idea that if people are together they have to be in the same bed every night. I'm finding more and more couples with strong relationships that have no problem saying that one of them will be sleeping in another room that night. No arguments, it's just for nights described above. There's nothing wrong with saying I need a night apart to get some solid sleep.

    BTW, I am not a cuddley at all . Even the part of sitting with someone's arm around me for too long makes me fidget.
     
  11. nubka

    nubka Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2006
    Messages:
    7,809
    My bed is a no cuddling zone (unless I initiate it, of course!;))
     
  12. mmscfdcsu

    mmscfdcsu Skating Pairs with Drew

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2005
    Messages:
    12,170
    No! Can't stand it. Get out of my bed and go home...unless you are a cat. Cat cuddles are just fine.
     
    PeterG and (deleted member) like this.
  13. Satellitegirl

    Satellitegirl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Messages:
    8,070
    I'm like that too...when I'm trying to sleep, I can't be "cuddled." Touching an arm or a leg doesn't bother me, but when it's someone smack up against you, yeah I enjoy that when I want to cuddle, but I'm physically unable to sleep that way. I always had to tell my ex to move back over to his side. It's cute at first, and then you just start getting irritated, even though you know that they're doing it in their sleep most times.

    Spooning isn't too bad, as long as they don't drape their leg over me. But even then, I'm hot natured most times at night, so I get too warm/sweaty/uncomfortable. I wish I *could* sleep that way....just can't. My Mom has the jump leg syndrome, and I must have inherited that some, because I need to be able to stretch out and move a little before I settle in and sleep.
     
  14. Veronika

    Veronika gold dust woman

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Messages:
    4,123
    I used to need space when sleeping, but I've grown accustomed to cuddling during the night. Not all night, but in the winter, I use my husband for extra warmth. :) In the summer, I'm more hands off, and so is he. I never thought I'd get used to sleeping with someone else in the bed, but I did.
     
  15. clarie

    clarie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2003
    Messages:
    2,508
    A cute story: Shortly after my husband passed away (who was a great cuddler BTW), I was visiting my sister in another town and slept over. In the middle of the night I woke and there was a big body next to mine......In my sleepy haze, I shockingly thought "who the hell is in bed with me? Well, it turns out it was Toby, their very large 2 yr old golden retriever..........he was my bed partner for the rest of my stay there.:) almost as good a cuddler as was my hubby.

    My boyfriend of a couple of years now likes to cuddle too, but only for a little while, then it's time to role over and sleep. For several years there was no-one to cuddle with and I missed it.
     
    Lilia A and (deleted member) like this.
  16. Badams

    Badams Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,981
    I'm very much like a cat in that respect. I want to cuddle when I want to. When I'm done cuddling, go away. If you want to cuddle and I don't...goodluck to you! :lol: My hubby loves it.
     
    BigB08822 and (deleted member) like this.
  17. AliasJohnDoe

    AliasJohnDoe Dornbush 2015!!!

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    3,774
    I get too hot and uncomfortable with another persons body heat. But I did "spoon" regularly from 1984-1998 because it made someone else happy. Since then, I have a king size bed all to myself and I rather like it. But I'd give anything to have my spoon back(he died in 1998).
     
  18. modern_muslimah

    modern_muslimah Thinking of witty user title and coming up blank

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,947
    I like to cuddle at some points in the night, especially now that it's cold. Like Veronika mentioned, cuddling helps to keep me warm. My husband also puts his leg over me sometimes because it helps him to sleep. However, that begins to hurt after a while and I have to roll over so he moves his leg. I can't cuddle all night though. After a while, I have to roll over to my own side. I can't sleep on the same side all night thus I'll have to un-cuddle at some point.

    @mpal2: IA. Sometimes, you do need to sleep alone. Sometimes, my husband does and I remember the first few times he did it my feelings were hurt. But now, I don't take it personally. Also, I sometimes like to sleep alone. Now that my husband works first shift, we sleep together every night and I admit that sometimes I miss sleeping by myself but not enough to sleep on the couch.
     
  19. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Messages:
    20,768
    I am the same way. I can not sleep with anyone touching me. However, I am mean about it. My BF says that if he tries to snuggle with me in my sleep, I give him a very swift kick. I don't usually even wake up despite being a very light sleeper.
     
  20. made_in_canada

    made_in_canada INTJ

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2004
    Messages:
    4,366
    I'm good with falling asleep in each other's arms. I usually don't stay there though. I think it more has to do with me being perpetually cold though to be honest.

    My parents rarely sleep in the same bed. They sleep way better apart. They've been married 36 years so I guess it works ;)
     
  21. nerdycool

    nerdycool Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,128
    I don't mind a little cuddling when we first get into bed. But after about 15-20 minutes, I'm done. I just cannot fall asleep that way. Mr. nerdycool loves to cuddle, so I try to compromise with him... and for the most part, he's good about it. It's more difficult in the winter though, because he gets cold and wants to steal my warmth.
     
  22. mpal2

    mpal2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Messages:
    9,276
    I find this is often true when one of the couple has sleep apnea. I know at least 2 couples that have been separated by the snoring. Other than that they have plenty of :grope: going on. I don't like to be in the same room with them at times. :lol:
     
  23. bobalina77

    bobalina77 Duck Hunter

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2003
    Messages:
    7,061
    I am a cuddler and luckily DF is too. We snuggle up to watch a movie in bed and 99% of the time I fall asleep on his chest. Lately though I'm having such a hard time getting comfortable that I'm constantly tossing and turning from one side to the other and neither of us get any sleep lol. I do love having someone to sleep with.. it would feel weird now to sleep by myself.
     
    Angela-Fan and (deleted member) like this.
  24. Angela-Fan

    Angela-Fan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2002
    Messages:
    2,274
    I love snuggling. :) Although FI says I steal the covers. I beg to differ lol
     
    PeterG and (deleted member) like this.
  25. Andrushka

    Andrushka New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    3,114
    Well,when I was married,I liked my own space to sleep,I didn't like being cuddled while trying to go to sleep.
     
  26. Fridge_Break

    Fridge_Break Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2004
    Messages:
    7,642
    I sleep so much better when I'm cuddled up with my SO. Maybe it's just because we're long-distance (for now) and the nights we have together are limited, but I'm just so much more comfortable knowing that he's right there with me and I'm not alone in my bed thinking about when the next time I'm going to see him is.
     
  27. skateboy

    skateboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    4,303
    Thanks for all the reports. I thought it might just be me, so I'm glad I'm not the only one!
     
  28. Quintuple

    Quintuple papillon d'amour

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
    Messages:
    2,573
    I'm more of a strangler. Sometimes I share a TWIN bed with my friend, and we're two grown-ass men (we ain't even together - I just have to work super late shifts near where he lives sometimes). I have really crazy apocalyptic dreams. Once, I literally open my eyes and saw my hands around his neck. He was just staring at me, awake.

    Me: "What the hell? Weren't you even going to stop me??!"
    Him: "No, I knew you'd wake up before you actually strangled me."
    Me: "STOP BEING SO TRUSTING. I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU. CHOP OFF MY HANDS NEXT TIME."

    I think I was having a nightmare about my sister.

    And I hate his blankets. He has like 9 layers of scratchy asbestos pulled up only to nipple level. And his pillows are extra firm and extra thick! I always wake up completely underslept, sweating, with a dislocated neck.

    That said, he hates my sink-into-this-nest-of-softness bed, face deeply imbedded into my pillow, big comforter pulled over my shoulders.

    I want a California king so I can jump and flip before conking out in a giant X position every night.
     
  29. Erin

    Erin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2001
    Messages:
    5,034
    Another vote for this! I have a hard time falling asleep just generally and having someone touching me doesn't help at all.

    I'm also just a hard person to sleep with in general, as everyone has told me that I steal blankets.