I've said enough about my childhood on FSU for you to know that my parents didn't say much of anything about what I should do with my life. My father molested me so, if he were to have put it into words, I guess he would have told me to sleep with him because my mother was a frigid whore and we were in lurve. Or something mentally twisted like that. My mother did her best but her life was falling apart and she was saving herself. So she was doing things like taking me to bars when I was 16 and taking me to hash parties when I was older so she could pretend that she wasn't abusing drugs and alcohol. Then again, a rising tide raises all boats, so I won't discount the boost her efforts to right her own life made in helping me escape from my childhood situation. I told myself to get an education and get the f*ck out of there. My mother wasn't so far gone that she put any obstacles in my way and even helped me as much as she was able. My father continued to use us as pawns in his fight with my mother and his own sicknesses and contributed a grand total of $3000 towards my upbringing between the ages of 14 and 21 (and nothing after that, not even birthday presents) and tried his damnedest to ensnare me at every opportunity without much success. So, yes, people can "get out" of all sorts of situations and throw off all sorts of upbringings but my sisters did not fair nearly as well as I did given the same situations and the same upbringing. I think the key as to whether you can get out is two-fold... it's easier to get out of a neglectful situation than it is one where there is a lot of control and your environment is carefully filtered. I spent most of my childhood both reading anything I could get my hands on and watching anything I could watch. That opened me up to many ideas and expanded my world considerably. Knowing that other people didn't live like we did helped me get through many bad times and gave me the tools to escape. The other thing that helps is personality. I am driven and I am stubborn and I have supreme confidence in my own judgment. All of those things help someone break from authority. In fact, they make breaking from a situation like the Duggars inevitable. But not everyone is like that. And speaking of having supreme confidence in my own judgment, to answer your other question: The Duggars should agree with me because I am right and they are wrong.