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skipaway
10-28-2012, 03:42 AM
Will It Ever Stop? (http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/svu-probing-s-suicide-article-1.1193505)

Just makes me sick.

Twilight1
10-28-2012, 04:10 AM
In this case the girl jumped in front of classmates. My heart goes out to her struggle but to do it front of others is awful. I witnessed a man jump in front of a subway in Toronto and had flashbacks and anxiety for months. Reading this, just brings me back to that. No kid should have to see that...and that girl should not have been bullied to a place where she felt she had to do that. :-(

lulu
10-28-2012, 04:16 AM
In this case the girl jumped in front of classmates. My heart goes out to her struggle but to do it front of others is awful. I witnessed a man jump in front of a subway in Toronto and had flashbacks and anxiety for months. Reading this, just brings me back to that. No kid should have to see that...and that girl should not have been bullied to a place where she felt she had to do that. :-(

((Twilight1)) that must have been so traumatic for you, I know I would have anxiety attacks & nightmares if I saw the same thing.

Scrufflet
10-28-2012, 04:46 PM
I took a look at the article to see if I would find what I thought I would. And I did! Big picture of her, details of what happened to her but no mention of the guys who did it except for the fact they were football players! The rapists get to slither off and pretend it never happened! I do not condone lynch mobs but why are these people never held accountable? We need to shift our focus. Rape and bullying have become our culture.

Alixana
10-28-2012, 04:54 PM
Twilight, I too had the same experience in a TO subway (it was an older woman in my case). BIG HUGS to you ..

susan6
10-28-2012, 05:07 PM
I asked this in another thread, but what the hell are the parents of these bullies doing wrong? If your kid's a bully, you messed up as a parent. Obnoxiousness as an adult you might be able to explain by "events led the personality to be shaped that way", but if a kid is a total douchebag, that's pretty much on the parents. (Chris Rock had a bit about that, basically saying "If your daughter winds up on the pole, you f**ked up as a dad.")

Is it a mixture of the self-esteem movement encouraging outrageous egos in kids, and lack of discipline from being your kid's "friend" instead of their parent, combined with social media technology?

MacMadame
10-28-2012, 07:09 PM
Is it a mixture of the self-esteem movement encouraging outrageous egos in kids, and lack of discipline from being your kid's "friend" instead of their parent, combined with social media technology?
Oh yes, it's definitely whatever parenting style you hate that causes bullying. ;)

Of course we can't forget to blame the latest technology. Because before social media, no one ever bullied anyone. And everything a kid does until he's 18 is the parents fault as well because parents have total control over their children at all times and kids have no free will of their own, especially teenagers. :rolleyes:

Look, to be serious, all these issues are complex. There isn't one reason kids bully or one parenting style that causes it. I think that's pretty clear from all the posts in all the recent threads about bulling from people who were bullied or did bully. Definitely the structure of school contributes greatly because people who lack control often try to get control in other ways and bullying is a way to exert your control. Plus often times the ones doing it don't realize that's what they are doing. Also bullying takes not just a single bully to start things but a ton of other kids and adults to both keep it going and to contribute. If you have 100 kids torturing another kid, do you really think that every one of them was parented the exact same way and has the exact same problems? That isn't logical. With that many kids contributing, there has to be a complex sociological situation going on with many motives and many types of kids involved.

Finally, the problem is compounded by the fact that we seem to call any trouble one kid has with other kids bullying. Look at this case... this girl was RAPED. And not just raped, but GANG RAPED. What does that have to do with bullying? Gang raping someone is not "bullying." It's sexual assault and it should bring jail time and to call it bullying is perverse.

danceronice
10-28-2012, 07:56 PM
MacMadame: I was going to say, she wasn't bullied, she was GANG RAPED. That's not stuffing someone in a locker, that's felony sexual assault. There probably aren't any pictures or names of the boys involved because of pending criminal investigations.

As for jumping in front of her classmates, if it was fellow students who did it and passed the video around, maybe she wanted to make a point. If so, well, honestly, good for her-don't let her classmates off the hook with something neat and far away. Apparently intellectually understanding you can drive someone to suicide doesn't sink in, maybe graphic example will.

my little pony
10-28-2012, 10:08 PM
is there another article because this one doesnt say that she was raped but some posts say she was

Twilight1
10-28-2012, 10:24 PM
She had sex with 4 boys from the football team who taped it and passed the video around

Scrufflet
10-28-2012, 10:50 PM
Oh yes, it's definitely whatever parenting style you hate that causes bullying. ;)

Of course we can't forget to blame the latest technology. Because before social media, no one ever bullied anyone. And everything a kid does until he's 18 is the parents fault as well because parents have total control over their children at all times and kids have no free will of their own, especially teenagers. :rolleyes:

Look, to be serious, all these issues are complex. There isn't one reason kids bully or one parenting style that causes it. I think that's pretty clear from all the posts in all the recent threads about bulling from people who were bullied or did bully. Definitely the structure of school contributes greatly because people who lack control often try to get control in other ways and bullying is a way to exert your control. Plus often times the ones doing it don't realize that's what they are doing. Also bullying takes not just a single bully to start things but a ton of other kids and adults to both keep it going and to contribute. If you have 100 kids torturing another kid, do you really think that every one of them was parented the exact same way and has the exact same problems? That isn't logical. With that many kids contributing, there has to be a complex sociological situation going on with many motives and many types of kids involved.

Finally, the problem is compounded by the fact that we seem to call any trouble one kid has with other kids bullying. Look at this case... this girl was RAPED. And not just raped, but GANG RAPED. What does that have to do with bullying? Gang raping someone is not "bullying." It's sexual assault and it should bring jail time and to call it bullying is perverse.

Well said!

maatTheViking
10-28-2012, 11:34 PM
Oh yes, it's definitely whatever parenting style you hate that causes bullying. ;)

Of course we can't forget to blame the latest technology. Because before social media, no one ever bullied anyone. And everything a kid does until he's 18 is the parents fault as well because parents have total control over their children at all times and kids have no free will of their own, especially teenagers. :rolleyes:

Look, to be serious, all these issues are complex. There isn't one reason kids bully or one parenting style that causes it. I think that's pretty clear from all the posts in all the recent threads about bulling from people who were bullied or did bully. Definitely the structure of school contributes greatly because people who lack control often try to get control in other ways and bullying is a way to exert your control. Plus often times the ones doing it don't realize that's what they are doing. Also bullying takes not just a single bully to start things but a ton of other kids and adults to both keep it going and to contribute. If you have 100 kids torturing another kid, do you really think that every one of them was parented the exact same way and has the exact same problems? That isn't logical. With that many kids contributing, there has to be a complex sociological situation going on with many motives and many types of kids involved.

Finally, the problem is compounded by the fact that we seem to call any trouble one kid has with other kids bullying. Look at this case... this girl was RAPED. And not just raped, but GANG RAPED. What does that have to do with bullying? Gang raping someone is not "bullying." It's sexual assault and it should bring jail time and to call it bullying is perverse.

Well said indeed.

I was teased/bullied. In primary school. Nothing on this scale, I was just the awkward, bookish girl with a temper people picked on.
While the worst bullies often had non involved parents, other issues at school (such as compensating for being less book smart), many were normal, good kids with good parents.
My best friend was a guy, and while he didn't contribute, he didn't stop people - you were not friends with a girl, and other silly stuff.
Then there was another girl who suddenly was picked on, and even though I regretted it, I joined in - nice not to be the target. She was a different disposition than me, and transferred schools. I felt so bad, but I learned a valuable lesson.

This case is obviously terrible, and involving older kids and sex - but I think people's general herd mentality play a factor. I honestly see it in office environment too - while it is not bullying, it is was easier to agree that so and so's communication style is annoying, and he asks too many stupid questions. And then people look strange at you when he does something smart and useful and you call it out the next time some one complains about him.
'Office gossip' I guess it is.

ballettmaus
10-29-2012, 02:11 AM
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/15-year-old-throws-front-train-staten-island-article-1.1191808

That doesn't read like she was raped. If she was, it should be on record, shouldn't it?

That said, it doesn't change anything about the fact that the guys wouldn't leave her alone afterwards, taped it apparently without her consent and distributed it! The guys definitely need to pay for it.

skipaway
10-29-2012, 02:27 AM
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/15-year-old-throws-front-train-staten-island-article-1.1191808

That doesn't read like she was raped. If she was, it should be on record, shouldn't it?

That said, it doesn't change anything about the fact that the guys wouldn't leave her alone afterwards, taped it apparently without her consent and distributed it! The guys definitely need to pay for it.

Similar in nature to the case of Tyler Clementi, a gay student at Rutgers. He was unknowingly video taped by his roommate, the tape gets passed around and he commits suicide. Ravi, the roommate is convicted and given 30 days. This was done under NJ's hate crimes law. I wonder if NY will attempt to prosecute any of the football players, though not under a hate crimes definition.

milanessa
10-29-2012, 02:43 AM
Similar in nature to the case of Tyler Clementi, a gay student at Rutgers. He was unknowingly video taped by his roommate, the tape gets passed around and he commits suicide. Ravi, the roommate is convicted and given 30 days. This was done under NJ's hate crimes law. I wonder if NY will attempt to prosecute any of the football players, though not under a hate crimes definition.

Clementi was not taped, he was spied on.